Don't Pay Bad for Bad & Other Stories (Cheeky Frawg Historicals)

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Don't Pay Bad for Bad & Other Stories (Cheeky Frawg Historicals) Page 3

by Amos Tutuola


  “I confess to both of you now that I am your eldest brother, whose name your father, before he died, was always mentioning to you. My name is ‘Remember the day after tomorrow’ and I am before you today!” Totofioko stood up and posed before the two boys for a few minutes and then sat back down. “I was born and went to another town before both of you were born; therefore, both of you are my junior brothers because your father was my father as well. So I have come to stay with you and I shall be taking great care of you, as well as our father did before he died. To make it even clearer to you that I am your eldest brother, the first born of our father, look at my hunchback; see how it resembles that of your own.” Totofioko stood up and showed them his own false hunchback and then sat back down. “Of course, it is bigger than your own, and that must be so, because I am older than you!” Totofioko, with his trick, persuaded the two boys in such a way that they admitted at the same time that he was their eldest brother.

  “Hah-a-a! This is our eldest brother whose name is ‘Remember the day after tomorrow.’” Yaya and Shita embraced Totofioko with gladness, for they admitted that he was their eldest brother.

  “By the way, where is your mother, who is my mother as well?” Totofioko asked loudly with his trick.

  “She died just a few months after our father’s death,” the two boys replied with sorrow.

  “Hoo-hoo-hoo!” Totofioko cried with his trick, having already heard that from the town boys. He covered the head with both palms and wept bitterly for a few minutes. But he did all this just to deceive the two boys.

  “Hah! Stop weeping, brother! What are you doing all that for! Stop that, sir!” The two boys caressed Totofioko until he stopped weeping. Then he stood up. He walked up and down the house. He peeped into every room just to know the kind of property whichwas inside them.

  I am glad. All the property in the rooms is precious enough to be carried away to my town, Totofioko thought in his mind before he came back to the sitting room where the boys were preparing food. He and the boys ate it together.

  After a few days of Totofioko being with them as their brother, one morning he told them, “Yes, as both of you are aware that only the eldest brother or the eldest person in the family is to be in charge of all the property of their dead father. Therefore, I want you to gather all of our father’s property together and bring it before me now. But, instead of sharing them now, I shall keep them in one of the rooms. I shall lock up the room and keep the key for myself!” Totofioko deceived the two boys.

  “You are quite right to do so, sir, and you are the right person in our family to do that!” Yaya and Shita exclaimed with gladness. Then they gathered all of their father and mother’s property together and brought it to him. He put the property in one of the rooms. He locked up the door of that room and kept the key in his pocket, because in fact, it really was the eldest person in the family who had the right to keep the property of their dead father.

  At midnight, when Totofioko noticed that the boys were sleeping deeply, he opened the door of that room. He took out all of the property, carried it to his own town, which was far off, and then he came back before daybreak. But the two boys did not know that their inherited property had already gone to Totofioko’s town.

  Having spent a few days with them, he advised the two boys, “I believe things are too dull in this town. So, I shall take both of you to the town from where I came to you. You will be working in that town and earning a large sum of money. I believe, in one year’s time, each one of you will become a rich man. Out of your savings, you will marry beautiful ladies, and after that you can come back to this town to enjoy your lives as you like!” Totofioko deceived Yaya and Shita just to take them to his town as well and sell them as slaves.

  “Thank you, brother, for your useful advice. But who will be taking care of our property after we have gone away with you?” Yaya and Shita asked with surprise.

  “Never mind about our property, my junior brothers. You should not be afraid; there is no thief who can break into the room to pack the property away. Now, look at this juju” Totofioko showed them one wrapped leaf, “which I am going to hang on the main door now. Its work is to keep all thieves away from this house!” Totofioko stood up, went to the main door, and hung the wrapped leaf on the door.

  Then in the following morning, they followed Totofioko to his town, and on their arrival he sold all of their father and mother’s property to an auctioneer.

  “Ah, these are our inherited property! Don’t sell them to the auctioneer!” Yaya and Shim shouted greatly when it was revealed to them that Totofioko had carried their property to his town and that he wanted to sell it.

  “Shut your mouths there! Or don’t you know who you are talking to?” Totofioko boomed at the two boys and struck their mouths with a stick,

  “Don’t be harsh to us like this! Please remember that you have confessed to us that you are our eldest brother whose name is ‘Remember the day after tomorrow’,” Yaya reminded him with due respect.

  “Who is your brother? Tell me now! Who is your brother?” Totofioko shouted terribly at them, so terribly that Yaya and Shita could not talk again.

  “I am afraid everything has changed now!” Shita whispered to Yaya.

  In the following morning, Totofioko sold the poor boys to the slave buyer, and at that time it was revealed to Yaya and Shita that Totofioko was not their brother in any way, but he was an expert trickster, deceiver, thief and kidnapper of children.

  One morning, as Yaya and Shita were tilling the ground in the front of the house of the slave buyer who bought them, Totofioko, who was well-dressed in costly garments, came to them and then he proudly told them, “I am sorry that it is too late for you to understand that ‘Remember the day after tomorrow’ is not the name of a person, but it is a warning. And it would have been better for you if you had asked the meaning of it from your father before he died. Then there would not a deceiver like myself who would be able to deceive you like this. And it is also a good practice for a young boy who does not understand a warning or proverb to ask for its full meaning before it is too late!” Totofioko explained to Yaya and Shita with pride and then hastily went away as they were weeping bitterly.

  AJAIYI AND THE WITCH DOCTOR

  There once lived an old man in a village. He was a farmer and he had one son named Ajaiyi. This old man was so poor that all of his friends and neighbours believed that he was really created from poverty by his creator. After several years’ hard work, this old man became too old and weary to work on his farm, so Ajaiyi, his only son, took over for him. He was working hard on his old father’s farm and by that he was getting sufficient food to feed his father and himself. Ajaiyi worked as hard as he could until he became about thirty years old, but yet, he and his father’s poverty became worse than ever.

  Although Ajaiyi and his father were poorer than the church rat, it came to Ajaiyi’s mind one midnight to marry a lady. Having thought so within himself for some weeks, he brought this matter before his weary father.

  “My father, how can I get money to marry a lady, as I am old enough now?” Ajaiyi gently asked his father.

  “In fact, according to our custom, it is a father’s right to pay the dowry of his son’s first wife. But now, it is a pity, as you know, that I am so poor that I have not even a half penny to give you to pay for the dowry of a lady. I am very sorry indeed, Ajaiyi,” Ajaiyi’s father explained quietly with tears. Then Ajaiyi left him in the room and went to the front of the house. He sat on the pavement and wept bitterly for many hours.

  After a while, it came to Ajaiyi’s mind to pawn himself for money. And at the same time, he went to a wealthy pawnbroker who gave him sufficient money, with which he married a beautiful and sensible lady the following week.

  A few months after his marriage, his old father became so ill that he died within a few days. But unfortunately, this time Ajaiyi had no money with which to perform the funeral of his dead father. Of course, as this was a gr
eat shame to Ajaiyi if he failed to perform the ceremony, he pawned himself to another pawnbroker who gave him the money to perform the ceremony.

  Now, Ajaiyi had pawned himself to two pawnbrokers. He was working for the first from morning till twelve o’clock and for the second from one o’clock till the sun set. But, as he had no more time now to work on his own farm for his and his wife’s living, his poverty became more serious. And as everything was still growing from bad to worse every day, his wife advised him one day, “Ajaiyi, will you go to the ‘Witch Doctor’ and find out the causes of our fast growing poverty, and find out as well what willstop it!”

  Without hesitation, Ajaiyi went to the village witch doctor. He explained his difficulties to him. With sharp and merciless voice the witch doctor replied, “Yes, if you want your inherited poverty to stop, you must buy nine big rams and nine empty sacks. Having bought them and brought them back to your house, you will put each of the nine rams alive inside of each of the nine empty sacks. Then at midnight, or when you are quite sure that the rest people in the village are asleep, you will carry all to the grave of your dead father and put all on top of the grave. Having done so, you must come and inform me at the same time. But to be sure whether your dead father has taken the whole rams away, you will go back to the grave in the following morning. And, I am quite sure, you will meet only the empty sacks on top of the grave, and that means your dead father has taken all the nine rams. Try to take the empty sacks back to your house and keep them in your room, and you will see that in a few days’ time, all will be filled up with money by your dead father, and then your poverty will finish.”

  When the witch doctor explained it to Ajaiyi like that, he thanked him and then left him. But as he was returning to his house in the darkness, he was thinking within himself, The witch doctor said I must sacrifice nine rams to my dead father before he would stop my poverty, but I believe I will never be free from this poverty, because I have no money to buy even one cock. How much more for nine rams? Ajaiyi was thinking just like that until he entered his house unnoticed.

  “What did the witch doctor tell you about our poverty, Ajaiyi?” Ajaiyi’s wife hastily asked as he entered.

  He explained to her. But, when he explained further that he had no money to buy the nine rams and nine empty sacks, his wife said loudly, “Ah, you said you have no money to buy the rams! Are we going to die in this poverty? Better you pawn yourself to the third pawnbroker who will give you the money to buy the rams and the empty sacks!”

  “Ah! To pawn myself to the third pawnbroker? But I am afraid if I do so; how can I satisfy the whole of them, and who will be working for our living then?” Ajaiyi asked with great sorrow.

  “Never mind about our living. I believe if you work hard, you will satisfy the whole pawnbrokers!” Ajaiyi’s wife advised him strongly.

  The following day, Ajaiyi went to the third pawnbroker, who gave him ten pounds. Then he and his wife went to the market with the ten pounds. But unfortunately, the ten pounds were not sufficient to buy the whole nine rams and nine empty sacks. Having seen this, Ajaiyi was greatly perplexed. He told his wife to let them return home with the money.

  “Oh, my husband, don’t let us go home with this money. Otherwise we shall spend it for another thing, and our poverty will still remain as worse as before. Now, let us buy as many rams and empty sacks as we can buy. Then at midnight, you will carry them to the grave of your father. You will explain before the grave that you will bring the rest other rams as soon as you have money to buy them. And, I believe, your dead father will not refuse to accept them, because he knew that he had left you in great poverty before he died.”

  Ajaiyi agreed when his wife advised him like that. Then they bought six rams and six empty sacks, which the ten pounds could buy, and they carried them back to the house.

  When it was midnight, Ajaiyi put each of the rams inside of each of the sacks. He carried them one by one to the grave of his father, which was about a half of a mile from the village. Having put them on top of the grave, he explained before it, “My father, please take these six rams as the first installment and I shall bring the other three for you as soon as you help me to get money to buy them.”

  Having done all that, Ajaiyi went directly to the witch doctor. He told him that he had carried six rams to the grave. The witch doctor thanked him with great laughter and then advised him that he must not delay before taking the other three to the grave. After that Ajaiyi came back to his house. But he had hardly left when the witch doctor and his servants went to the grave and then carried the six rams to his own house. He killed them all for his food and then he gave the empty sacks to his servants to return them to the grave before daybreak.

  It was hardly morning when Ajaiyi and his wife ran to the grave, and both were very happy when they met only empty sacks on top of the grave. Then they collected the sacks and came back to the house with gladness. Ajaiyi put them in one of the rooms, and then he and his wife were expecting that their poverty would soon stop. They waited and waited and waited for so many months, but his dead father did not send any money to him, and their poverty had become extremely worse, and again the whole pawnbrokers were then dragging him here and there, for he could not satisfy each of them. He blamed his wife with sorrow. “I told you that day that we should return home with the ten pounds, as it was not sufficient to buy the whole nine rams at a time!”

  “Ajaiyi, don’t let us give up yet. We must try hard. My advice now is to go back to the witch doctor and find out why our poverty is still getting worse than before we sacrificed the six rams to your dead father.” Ajaiyi’s wife advised him softly. Again, Ajaiyi ran back to the witch doctor and asked for the reason.

  “Ah! Ajaiyi, your poverty cannot stop until after you have taken the other three rams to your dead father!” the witch doctor frightened Ajaiyi.

  Without hesitation, Ajaiyi came back to his house and he told his wife what the witch doctor had told him to do before their poverty would stop.

  “What are we going to do next to get the money to buy the other three rams and the empty sacks?” she asked calmly.

  “As we have not even one penny in hand, how much more to get such big money to buy three rams and sacks?” Ajaiyi said. “But now, my intention is that when it is midnight, I will visit my father in his grave. I will tell him this—”

  “You knew that I was in poverty before you died, but after you died and were buried, you are now demanding nine rams from me, and in failing to give them to you I will remain in poverty throughout my lifetime. Of course, I tried all my best and brought six for you, but I was told by the same witch doctor that unless I give you the other three rams you will not set me free from the poverty in which you had left me before you died.”

  Ajaiyi explained further to his wife that if his dead father confirmed what the witch doctor had told him to do, then he would behead him before he could come out of his grave.

  “Ah, Ajaiyi, how can you manage to see your dead father? Please don’t attempt to do that,” his wife feared greatly.

  In the midnight, Ajaiyi sharpened his long and heavy machete. He took three empty sacks and then went to the grave of his father. He filled two sacks with earth in such a perfect way that each seemed to contain a big ram, and then he put both on top of the grave. Having done that, he left the third sack and his machete on the grave, then went to the witch doctor. He told him that he had put the other three rams on top of the grave. The witch doctor burst into great laughter when he heard so and he was still laughing when Ajaiyi left him and came back to the grave. He put the third empty sack on top of the grave as well. He held his long machete and entered the sack and then cast down in it and was expecting his father to take the three sacks into his grave.

  After about two hours, the witch doctor and his servants walked in the darkness to the grave. He instructed his servants to carry the three sacks to his house. The servants had hardly put the sacks down before his gods when he began to loosen them
one by one with the hope to bring the rams out and then to return the empty sacks to the grave before daybreak, as he did for the first time.

  But he was greatly shocked when he saw the earth in the first two sacks instead of rams, and he had hardly loosened the third when Ajaiyi jumped out suddenly with his long sharp machete, raised above head.

  “Ah, Ajaiyi, you were in the sack as well!” the witch doctor and his servants shouted greatly with fear as they defended their heads and faces.

  Without hesitation, Ajaiyi walked wildly to the witch doctor. He stood firmly before him and his servants as he raised the machete above his head and then he said quietly, “Hun-un! So you took the rams for yourself and not my dead father. The rams in respect of which I had pawned myself to the third pawnbroker and—”

  “Oh, let me confess to you now, Ajaiyi. It was not your dead father who had taken all your rams. I was the person who had taken them! I beg you now to forgive me!” the witch doctor hastily confessed as Ajaiyi was preparing to machete him and his servants to death.

  “But I believe you are my dead father who had taken my rams, therefore you are to set me free from my poverty this midnight!” Ajaiyi shouted greatly as he threatened him with the machete.

  “Not at all. I am not your dead father, therefore I have no power to set you free from your poverty and—” the witch doctor explained loudly with fear.

  But Ajaiyi hardly heard that when he snatched his right hand and then asked loudly, “Tell me the truth! Will you set me free from my inherited poverty this midnight?”

  “Only your dead father has the power to set you free from you pov–” But as the witch doctor was still saying this, his servants rushed against Ajaiyi, and the witch doctor joined his servants at the same time. They all were just trying to take the machete from him. Having struggled for a few minutes, Ajaiyi overpowered them when he struck some of them with the machete. Again, he snatched the right hand of the witch doctor and then began to drag him here and there in the room. But when he shouted for help, Ajaiyi closed his mouth with the flat part of his machete. Having seen this, -his servants stretched up their hands and kept quiet at the same time.

 

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