Rob stared at this extraordinary woman and wondered—not for the last time, he was certain—how things could have been between them if he had not made the choice he had. Though he had suspicions about Tyra, he had no proof and he, too, understood her reaction. Had he not done the same thing to Symon?
‘I will seek no reprisal then against her,’ he offered.
Lilidh nodded and turned back to sit once more. He touched her arm to stop her. Had she shivered or was his mind creating sensations that were not there?
‘The tension is something that can be felt here, Rob. And when my father arrives, it will worsen,’ she offered.
Many things would worsen. If the MacLeries laid siege to his keep, many would suffer. He must come up with a way out of this. ‘Would you read another document?’
Doubt flickered in her gaze, but she nodded. He went to the leather trunk that held all the papers important to the clan and found the one he wanted her to examine. With what Murtagh had told him about other possible betrothals and informal links to the MacKenzies, he thought she might find something he’d missed in his review of it.
‘Would you walk with me?’ Rob asked her after a short time had passed. ‘I would rather not discuss this here.’ He glanced at the door and the now-noisy corridor filled with the elders and others returning to their chambers for the night from the hall.
He found her cloak, the one his men had recovered along with her other garments from the wreckage of her travelling party’s cart, and placed it on her shoulders, barely controlling his need to touch her face. They made their way up to the battlements and walked the perimeter once, giving her time to loosen the muscles in her legs and a reprieve, he knew, from being inside the entire day and night. When they reached the base of the ruined tower, Rob stopped and turned to her, blocking the worst of the winds with his body. Then he explained what Murtagh had revealed. Her surprise at any marriage connection being discussed with her family told him that the MacLeries might not be as interested in such a bond as perhaps his father or cousin was. And, now, with his daughter’s mistreatment at his hands, Rob doubted Connor would ever approve or allow Lilidh to remain here as any Matheson’s wife or connect their families in any other way.
Their discussion over, Rob held out his arm to escort Lilidh back down the stairs to his chamber, but she shook her head.
‘May I stay a few more minutes? The fresh air clears my head.’
He nodded and went to speak to the men on guard. There was no doubt that the MacLeries would arrive soon and he wanted everyone watchful for signs of any outriders from their main force. Even as he talked to the men, his gaze never left Lilidh. She made her way back to the edge of the battlements and stared out into the forest surrounding the keep. Her home, Lairig Dubh, was to the south and east of Keppoch, the MacGregors to the north and east. Then she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Reaching out, she rested her hands on the stone wall and just remained in that position for some minutes. Just as he was about to go back to her, she opened her eyes, leaned her head forwards and turned to face him.
As he approached, she never looked away. Her eyes filled with the same desire that he’d witnessed when she’d awoken from that dream in his bed. But she was not sleeping this time and he could not tell if she was thinking about Iain now or not. A thought crept into his mind then—if and how could a depth of emotion be created between a man and a woman in the short time she’d been married to the MacGregor? The stabbing fire of jealousy tore into his own heart then as he realised how much he’d allowed to slip through his hands.
By being weak.
By being afraid.
By not being worthy.
When he stood before her, her gaze fell to his mouth and his to hers. The wanting had never ceased for him, never lessened even though he’d agreed to do what Connor wanted of him—repudiate Lilidh and leave. There wasn’t a day he did not think of her or grieve over his actions.
Or want her.
So, he took the last step between them and touched his mouth to hers. Her lips softened under his and she did not move away. He raised his hand up and cupped her head, holding her there, though only just. Rob tilted his face and kissed her again. This time she opened her mouth for him as she did in their times together. He was not certain if she’d forgiven him for the past, but she had not forgotten. She had not forgotten him.
He felt her hands grasp his jacket and his body heated at the way her fingers tickled him as she tried to hold on to him. Once she had hold of him, she pulled him closer. The soft touch of the tip of her tongue on his startled and pleased him. He let her explore his mouth for a few glorious moments and then he could not hold back, taking possession of her mouth as he’d dreamt of doing these last four years.
This kiss was not the same as the one in the hall when she was brought here. That one was for show and ended in anger. This one—well, this one simply demanded another and another until they were both breathless. He lifted his mouth from hers and leaned back, his hand yet tangled in her hair and keeping her head close.
‘I want you, Lilidh,’ he whispered. ‘I have always wanted you.’
He touched his lips to hers again, barely for a moment, and then he stepped back, lest he toss her to the ground and have the rest of her right here, right now. He could have held his control had she not been so soft beneath him. If she had not taken hold of him and drawn him closer. He had almost escaped her effect on him, but then she spoke, whispered, a reply.
‘And I want you, Rob Matheson.’
* * *
Where the wanton had hidden for these last four years, she knew not, but when his mouth touched hers it was back in full force. Her body heated and blood raced and places deep within grew heavy in anticipation of what came next. As during the times they’d loved, during their secret encounters, her body did not care if his touch was wrong, it simply wanted.
It wanted him and the sensual magic he could create within her as he caressed and pleasured her in ways she’d never dreamt of. Her breasts ached and the tips of them tightened, tingling in hope that he would touch her there, again, soon.
If she was to leave here and be given to someone else in marriage, she would not go without finishing what she and Rob had started all those years ago. No one expected her to be a virgin bride after her first marriage, so that would not make or break negotiations for a future match. If she had the opportunity to choose the man to whom she would give herself to, and if fate now provided her that chance for its own strange reasons, she would seize it.
Knowing that Rob had not ordered her kidnapping and that he sought to protect his people and not take the easiest way out also made her understand that he would never force himself on her now. He could have any night in his bed if that had been his plan. A man who would force a woman would not care if she was awake or asleep. He would not care if her leg hurt and could not walk the steps. He would not care if she were being mistreated.
Rob cared. Rob made certain of her safety and comfort and even allowed her this measure of freedom or time alone here where it gave her pleasure. He tried to protect her against his own kin.
If nothing else, allowing this thing to happen between them, this unexpressed passion that remained between them, even after their terrible parting and the hurt that took years to burn away, would give her the closure she needed before moving on in her life. Perhaps, if she’d not seen him again, she would not feel this way. Alas, she had and she did.
But the wanton within reminded her that mostly she just wanted to experience the full measure of passion that had been promised her in their beginnings. Her body wanted to take that final step with Rob and no other.
To prove her words, to herself and to him, she lifted up on her toes and, taking his head in her hands, drew his mouth down to her. This time she explored his mouth, using the tip of her tongue to outline his firm lips. When he opened, she tasted all that he was. Rob moved closer, lifting his cloak open and wrapping it and his arms around her
. His body was all hardened muscles and she felt safe. He made her feel that way. Then, the sound of shuffling feet made her pull back.
She had completely forgotten the guards. She’d forgotten they stood on top of the battlements of his keep. She’d forgotten herself. Rob kept her wrapped in his cloak as the guards passed them on their rounds, so she did not have to acknowledge them. Lilidh pulled free once they’d passed and were far enough away not to hear their words.
‘Have you changed your mind, then?’ Rob asked as he watched her with eyes filled with desire. She smiled at him, for she heard the undercurrent of worry in his voice as he asked.
‘No,’ she said, shaking her head. She had not. ‘But it is cold here and I prefer no witnesses to what happens between us.’
It was not as though every person living or staying in Keppoch Keep did not already think them lovers. Or think that Rob had not taken advantage of her favours while sleeping in his bed together. Most of them even believed his hard use of her the cause for her limp. Somehow, though, she suddenly felt shy about letting them see that it was real.
She lost her breath in the next moment as he bent over, lifted her into his arms and carried her to the doorway. Lilidh encircled his neck with her arms, but he held her securely as he made his way down the steps towards his chamber. She tucked her head down against him as he waited for one of the guards to open the door. A smile played on her mouth as Tomas asked if she was well.
The slammed door in his face was the only answer Rob gave. A hearty laugh echoed across the chamber as Tomas gave his reply.
‘Are you well?’ Rob asked as he let her feet touch the floor. ‘Your face?’
‘Does not pain me,’ she said as she allowed Rob to remove her cloak and toss it aside. Now inside, now that the moment was nigh, her nerves struck.
He’d refused to marry her because of the damage to her leg four years ago. Would it diminish the desire he felt for her now? How would he react to the sight of it when they joined?’
‘But something worries you,’ he said, lifting wind-loosened hair out of her face and lifting her chin so he could look at her. He winced and she knew the various bumps and bruises were quite visible now. ‘We can stop now. It is your choice.’
‘I thought I was a prisoner without choice?’ she asked.
‘You are a prisoner. But in this matter between us, you have but to say the word and I will not.’
Did she want this? Truly? Looking at him now, knowing that everything would change as soon as her family arrived and that she would never get this chance again...
Yes, she did.
‘Which things will you not do, Rob?’ she asked coyly.
He’d whispered wicked promises to her as he touched her and stroked her body those times before. Now she wanted to hear those promises once more and she wanted to feel all that she should have—so she would have the memories of it when she left.
Her body filled with a sense of anticipation as he walked behind her and stood so close they almost touched. She could feel his breath on her neck and he untied the strips holding her hair into a thick plait and unravelled the length of it. The movement of his fingers as they slid over her scalp and into the tresses, separating and then mixing the strands all the way down to its ends tickled and excited her. Rob avoided touching her injury, yet seemed to massage every inch of her head.
He lifted the length of her hair to one side and touched his mouth to her neck there. Shivers shot through her at the warmth of his mouth. Then he leaned her head away and kissed the cord of muscle between her head and shoulders, making her gasp at its sensitivity.
‘I think I should just learn your body before we do more,’ he said in a husky whisper. She felt her body ready itself for his attention, which she hoped would be soon.
Then he moved his hand across her, gently touching her before coming to rest on her breast. Pulling her back against him, he cupped the fullness of her and flicked his thumb over that sensitive nipple. She arched against him, against that part of him that had come to life between their bodies. With her trapped under his arm, he bit her neck then, gently along that delicate cord until she gasped over and over.
When he slipped his other hand around to rest on her hip and then caress her thigh, she let go and leaned against him fully, allowing him to touch where he would. Her head fell back on his shoulder and his breath grew ragged against her ear as he continued to touch her. Her hands fell to her side and in a bold move, she placed them on his legs, revelling in the firmness and strength of his body. He moved then, the proof of his arousal hard against her, hissing in a sharp breath.
Then, just as her body urged her to completely surrender, the fear took hold and she pulled away from him. Breathing hard, she turned to face him, for she needed to see his eyes when she asked that question that plagued and terrified her.
‘Is this just another way to shame me, Rob? Will you use my desire against me as you did before?’
She took in a breath and let it out quickly, pushing out the real question as fast as she could before she lost courage. For under it all, the humiliation she’d suffered due to his cruel words and rejection was something she did not think she would survive again.
‘If you did not want me before, and because of my leg, how can you want me now?’
Chapter Fourteen
He stood looking into the damage he’d wrought to her with his cruel and unforgivable words. The vibrant spirit had been crushed. The girl he’d loved had been killed by his actions and this woman carried the injury to her heart and her spirit even more than the damage to her leg. Rob rubbed his face and pushed his hair back as he gazed into her eyes.
‘You think I will use your willingness against you? That this is just a ploy to hurt you, again?’
What else could she think? Though he’d not ordered her brought there or mistreated, he’d allowed it. The last time they’d met alone, he’d left her to seek out her father for permission to marry her. Instead of returning to her with words of love and promises for a future together, he’d broken things with her in front of her family and used her leg, her ‘maimed and disgusting leg’, as his excuse. He wanted perfection in his bride, he’d said, and when he’d discovered how bad it truly was—during some scandalous mischief alone with her—he knew he could not stomach nights with her in his bed.
God damn him to hell! Regardless of the weakness within him that allowed him to say such terrible things, the effects of them could still be seen in the fear in her eyes. Not for any physical act that would happen between them, nay, but for the possibility of him tearing her heart and spirit apart once more.
No matter that her father had insisted that he repudiate her in the worst way so that there was no hope of reconciliation, he should have stood up to Connor and refused. He should have demanded Lilidh as his wife, laird—father—earl be damned!
Instead he’d let the man he respected and admired, the man who’d trained him as warrior and mentored him as a leader, force him into actions that had destroyed both of their lives. The only thing he had left her with was her love for her father, for he had not and would never admit to her that they would have been together if not for Connor MacLerie’s demands and orders.
Looking now into her eyes, eyes filled with desire and hope and fear, he could still not destroy the love she bore Connor.
‘Lilidh, I was a stupid boy, full of himself with no idea how to handle things like love. Or a woman’s heart,’ he admitted now. ‘I have learned much in these last year so that matters that seemed so important then are not now.’
He took her hands in his and held them. He must ease her fears, for he had no intention of allowing this chance to make the past up to her to be lost. It had nothing to do with shaming her before his clan—it had to do with restoring her confidence and showing that he was the unworthy one and not her.
‘This is between us. I will not speak of whatever happens between us with anyone else. And I will not force you to my bed or take that
which you do not freely give.’
Though doubt filled those deep-green eyes, he watched as she made the decision. No matter what, he would do whatever he needed to do to keep her safe, pay whatever price he owed at whatever cost it was to him, to make up for what he’d done to her.
When she pulled her hands from his and began unbuckling his jacket, he knew she’d made up her mind to trust him and he let out the breath he did not know he held. He dropped his arms to his side and allowed her to do whatever she wanted. After opening the jacket and pushing it down off his shoulders, she went to work untying the laces of his shirt and tugging it off over his head.
The touch of her fingers on his skin nearly caused his knees to give out. She outlined his ribs and then used both hands across him, touching him as he had done to her. He fought the overwhelming urge to let loose his control and to show her all the pleasure now. He held still as her fingers traced lower and lower and reached his belt. With nary a pause, she tugged on the belt until it came free and then let it and the tartan it held in place fall to the floor around their feet.
He had always been the leader, taking her through the first steps in their intimate dance, but it pleased him now to allow her to have her way. He closed his eyes and gave himself over to whatever she wanted to do—a benefit of making love to a woman of experience rather than a virgin.
Her hands followed the hair on his belly down further and further until she reached his manhood. Standing thick and firm, it jutted out from the curls at its base and the expression on her face, a mix of interest and hunger, made it pulse and move. He waited for her to touch him there and it was worth every moment of the four years since he’d last laid eyes on her. She slid her gentle hands over and around it, taking hold and then stroking the length of it. Then she lifted his bollocks in her grasp, caressing them together.
He thought he was dying then. His blood rushed so fast and hard through every part of him that it hurt to take a breath. His skin burned. His hands itched to touch her. And he would, all in good time. For now, he let her roam over his body, accepting the exquisite torture of it.
Terri Brisbin Highlander Bundle Page 32