“And will you call me Millie?”
“No.”
“Why not?” Her chin tilted up, and she bit her bottom lip.
His body tightened, and he wanted to bite that same lip. “Millicent suits you. It means strength.”
“And Millie? What does Millie mean?”
“Millie is a servant to the temple. Though it also could come from Camilla, who was a warrior queen.” He supposed that suited her too.
“I’m no queen.” She laughed and made another move that saved her queen on the chessboard.
He moved his pawn. “You would make a fine monarch, but to me it is your strength that stands out, and I will continue to call you Millicent with your approval.”
The soft smile warmed her face, making her even more stunning. “I like the way you say it.” She sat back, stared at the board and exhaled. “You have me at checkmate in three moves.”
“I know. You must have been distracted. Would you like to talk about it?” He began to reset the board.
“No. I’m fine, perhaps a bit preoccupied with all that is going on.”
He clutched the knight so tightly he had to put it down before he snapped it in two. “Since I know the fire at the inn is the cause of your sleeplessness and anxiety, would I not be a good friend to talk to? I can be a very good listener.”
“I’m not yet ready to discuss the events of the explosion. It is too fresh. But thank you for your concern.” Fear glistened in her eyes.
“You know you are safe here in my father’s study and at Brookhaven?” He hated seeing the same terror in her as on that terrible night. He longed for the passion and joy to return to her crystal eyes.
“I know. Why do you call it your father’s study? Hasn’t it been your study for many years now?” She leaned forward and placed the white pieces to start a new game.
Whenever she was uncomfortable she changed the subject. Holding his groan inside, he got up and walked to the desk. “This is where I remember him the clearest. I know that the houses and title are mine, but for me this study is still his. It gives me comfort to think of him here.”
“That must be a blessing. Perhaps one day I’ll open up my country home and there will be lovely memories in the walls.” She closed her eyes.
“Have you never gone back?” Watching her moisten her lips with that delectable tongue shot desire through him like an arrow.
“No. Uncle has his work, and I never wanted to be reminded of those last few weeks when they were so ill and then the funeral. I suppose I should face my demons, but I tend to tuck them away.”
“You should get some sleep, Millicent. You look exhausted. Do you want me to hold you until you fall asleep?” How he wished she would say yes.
“Thank you. I will be fine. Beauty will be frantic over my being gone so long. You need to rest as well. I have arranged for you and Lady Beatrix to go riding tomorrow morning. Her mother has approved the activity. You can get to know her better and see if a woman who cares little for love appeals to you.” She got up and walked to the door that led to the stairs.
Watching her until she closed the door behind her, he began to resent these other women. Only one woman appealed to him, and it was the one who wouldn’t have him.
It was going to be a long night.
* * * *
Beatrix Jacoby was an excellent horsewoman. She rode with total abandon, and Preston enjoyed the exercise. They pulled up as they crested the hill. To the north, Brookhaven loomed magnificent in the morning sun, and to the south the lake and rolling hills of the Peaks. Here was where he was most alive, even if the woman beside him could never be what he wanted.
“You have a fine estate, Your Grace. I have hardly seen a view as fine. I would love to paint this scene.” She adjusted her dark gray skirts so they better covered her boots in the stirrup and around the horn of the sidesaddle.
“Thank you, my lady. I have always favored this place. Your family estate is in Somerset, if I’m not mistaken.”
“Yes. I grew up there by the sea. I love the sound of the water crashing against the rocks.” She let the horse walk on toward the lake.
“Well, I have no ocean here, but the lake is quite nice, and the Peak District has its charms.” It was a struggle to find conversation with Lady Beatrix. She was nice but offered little in return.
“The lake is very pretty.” Patting her auburn hair into place after they’d cantered up the hill, she urged her horse to a faster walk.
It was torture to speak to someone who had nothing to say. “How did you learn to ride so well?”
A rare genuine smile lit her face. “The groom at home taught me. He said I was a natural, and so I spent much of my free time riding. Mother would have preferred I hone other skills, but I like the feeling of the ride. It’s wild and unfettered.”
Well, it was emotion. He wasn’t sure if it was riding or the groom who put that smile on her face. It wasn’t a good sign that he really didn’t care which it was. “What other skills did your mother wish you would improve?”
“Playing the harp and languages. She approves heartily of letter writing as well. I rarely like to write letters, though it is necessary from time to time.”
“Do you receive many letters, my lady?” Whether she knew it or not, she was painting a picture of herself, and it was unappealing. At least to Preston.
“Oh, yes. Many of the ladies I went to finishing school with write to me weekly. I also get letters from childhood friends, though not as much as I used to.” She stared off into the distance, it only just occurring to her that her old friends had stopped communicating regularly.
“Perhaps they became tired of writing and getting no response?”
Looking at him, she blinked several times. “I suppose that might be true. I shall write and see if that is why they have stopped.”
It took all his strength to not shake his head. He couldn’t imagine a lifetime with a woman so simple. And it was a mystery as to why she was so well liked among the ton. “I’m sure they will be thrilled to hear from you.”
Sarcasm totally lost on her, she grinned, and they strolled around the lake. The trees were losing their leaves, and a nice breeze floated the foliage to the ground. The crispness in the air, which Preston always associated with winter, made him suspect cold weather was coming.
He wondered if Millicent had been able to sleep and if she regretted refusing to allow him to hold her. She didn’t come down to break her fast. Mrs. Whimple carried a tray up. Did Millicent talk to her friend about her fears and her lack of rest? Lord, now he was jealous of Mrs. Whimple too. Something had to be done.
“Your Grace, when you marry, do you think you will spend your time here or in London?” It had been so pleasant and quiet for the last twenty minutes.
“I have a duty to occupy my seat at court from time to time. During the season, I generally go to London, and the rest of the time I live here. Occasionally, I like to travel to the Continent now that it is safe to do so again. Do you enjoy travel, Lady Beatrix?”
“I always liked going to the sea, but Father prefers London. This is as far north as I have ever been. I cannot say if I would like to travel, though it sounds quite tedious. All that packing and unpacking.” She punctuated it with a heavy sigh.
Since he knew she had a maid who would do all the packing and unpacking, he couldn’t help speculating that she enjoyed complaining. “I find travel quite exciting and wish I could do more of it.”
They rode back to the stables in silence. He had learned quite a lot on this little ride, and he longed to find Millicent and tell her about it. But when he went looking, he didn’t find her. She had gone to the village with Lady Helena and Miles Hallsmith.
Miles was the third son of a viscount. His brother Ford, the current Viscount of Thornbury, had always rubbed Preston the wrong way. Ford was an ass,
if truth be told. However, Miles was smart and good-natured, and they had been friends since Eton. Miles was two years behind him in school, and yet he’d always fit in. In fact, Miles made himself at home in any group with his easy manners and quick wit. It was unlikely he would ever gain the title, but he managed his brother’s estates and money and seemed contented with his position in life.
It would not do to fill with jealousy every time she spoke to another man. It was nearly time for luncheon, and his guests would be gathering. He couldn’t bear it. Striding across the garden and down the steps, he pushed through the gap in the hedge and walked to the river. It was over two miles, but the nip of fall in the air cooled his temper, and he felt more himself by the time he arrived. An hour on his own was all he wanted.
“You look like a man with a problem,” Michael said as he cast his line into the river.
So caught up in his own thoughts, he hadn’t seen father and son fishing. John was only three, but he managed a fine cast. On the bank, three trout were already caught. “I was just thinking. It seems you two are having a good day.”
“John is the better fisherman. He’s caught two already. I should be embarrassed to be out-fished by a three-year-old, but I’m too proud of him to bother.” Michael ruffled John’s hair, and the boy smiled up at him, displaying the cutest dimples.
“The fish don’t know who holds the rod. It’s technique, and John seems quite competent.”
Michael nodded. “John, we are going to have man talk now. Do you know what that means?”
Eyes wide, the boy said, “That I can never tell Momma or any of the ladies or my brothers and sisters.”
“That’s a fine lad.” Michael beamed with pride. “Now, Pres, tell me what had you in such a fit that you walked here from the house and never observed us standing here, though I saw your approach for five minutes.”
“Women.” Lying to Michael was impossible. He’d know. He had a sense of people. It was part of what made him such an excellent soldier, that and his ability to go unseen.
“Yes, I suspected as much. You arranged quite a gathering to find a wife. Which one is giving you fits. No. Let me guess.” The laughter in Michael’s voice was maddening.
Preston held out his hand for silence. “Do not guess.”
“You’re no fun. Is it Lady Helena? She seems a fine catch. Beautiful and smart, but without guile. She is the daughter of a duke, so she will make a fine duchess for you. I sat beside her at supper last night, and she was good company.”
“I have spent little time with Lady Helena. Though I imagine that will be rectified before long.” His gut twisted at the thought of yet another private meeting with another woman in whom he had no interest. It was unfair, but there it was.
“Oh, yes. Miss Edgebrook does seem quite good at her job. She and my wife have become fast friends. They took a turn around the garden this morning with the children running rampant around them. I watched from the garden above. I find I love to watch my family as much as I love to be with them. Do you think that odd?” Michael stopped fishing, and his eyes wandered across the river.
“I think you have found the perfect woman to complete you and are blessed with a brood of happy children. Watching them probably brings you much joy.” Another wave of jealousy surged through Preston, though not the violent kind he experienced when thinking of Millicent with another man. This one washed him in sorrow.
“Do you know what I think?” Michael cast his line and pulled it back to attract the fickle trout.
“No, but I suspect you are about to tell me.” Preston leaned against a tree and let the movement of the fishing line mesmerize him.
“I think the rest of your life is a long time to spend without affection.”
“I suppose that is true.” The knot in his chest tightened.
Michael continued, “If the person who makes you happy is not exactly what you expect, then that’s just too bad. You know, when Elinor and I first met, she was a simple, silly girl who simpered and giggled all the time. I thought her the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. I still do.” He grinned stupidly. “However, she did not show me all the sides of herself, and I, having had enough of reality during the war, was happy to have our conversations be about nonsense.”
Preston had never known the Elinor Michael described. Though he had heard rumors among the ton about the change in her after the scandal of their broken engagement. “Her Grace is neither silly nor simple.”
“No.” The glow in Michael’s eyes spoke of admiration for his wife. “She had hidden her true self because it was what her parents expected of her. ‘Be sweet and find a husband. Men don’t like smart women. Men want their wives to laugh at all their jokes.’”
“There is truth to that.” Preston hated to admit the weakness in his own sex.
“Yes. Men, and I include myself in this statement, can be quite stupid. Elinor is so much more, and those things are as attractive as her outer beauty. I needed to have that drummed into my stupid head.”
“Stupid head.” John giggled, continuing to fish.
Smiling, Michael said, “I only mean to tell you that just because a person is not exactly what you think you prefer doesn’t mean she is not the right woman for you.”
“And how does one convince the woman of this?”
Then the problem dawned on Michael, and he nodded his understanding. “Oh, I see. Well, that is a more difficult issue. But, I suppose, one makes a fool out of himself and does whatever he must to push the point home.”
* * * *
After dinner they played cards in the bachelor’s parlor. His great-great-grandmother had named the room because it was decidedly masculine with wooden wainscoting and heavy sconces. The fireplace boasted an oversized mantel, and a tall mirror reflected the room from above the hearth. The wall-covering had been changed a time or two since his ancestor’s naming. However, it was replaced with a simple cream stripe that was in keeping with the masculinity of the rest.
The furniture had been rearranged to fit three card tables. Preston sat with Lady Helena, Jacques and Wilhelmina’s mother, the Baroness de Grummel. He was not playing well, as his attention was split by Millicent sitting across the room reading.
“Your Grace, how did you enjoy the day? We missed you at luncheon.” Helena had a melodious voice and a softness behind her eyes that men would find appealing.
Preston just wanted to drag Millicent from the parlor and make her see that they were a perfect match. “It was splendid. I went to the river and visited with Kerburgh and his son John while they fished.”
She smiled. “He is a sharp-minded boy. I spoke to him when we returned from the village, and he told me all about catching more fish than his father.”
Jacques played a king of hearts, winning the trick. “Do you enjoy children, Lady Helena?”
“Oh yes. I find them honest and full of life. I’m not sure I wish to have quite as many as the Duchess of Kerburgh, but someday I would like to have children of my own.” She played a four of diamonds.
Worry that little John might have been unable to resist telling the lady about the “man talk” and spilled more than he meant to, Preston remained cautious. “John is a bright child. Did you enjoy your visit to the village?”
The baroness slammed a nine of diamonds down. “I did not go to the village because it looked like it might rain.”
“A wise choice,” Jacques said.
Helena’s eyes filled with amusement. “The village is charming. We went to several shops, and Miss Edgebrook purchased an assortment of things she’d lost due to a fire at an inn.” Her expression sobered. “She didn’t wish to speak on the matter, but I imagine it was quite upsetting for her.”
Of course, the servants knew about the explosion and fire, and therefore all the guests would know by this time. There was no point denying anything. The fire happened,
and nothing could be done about it. “Miss Edgebrook was very brave during the explosion and ensuing fire. There are many hardened soldiers who would not have been able to survive that terrible night.”
“I’m sorry she was put through that. But we managed to find the things she needed and had tea at a darling little shop. Mr. Hallsmith was a fine escort and even carried packages when his services were required. This is a lovely area. Everyone we met was so pleasant.” She played the queen and made the trick.
Preston knew he should focus on getting to know Helena, but it was hard to concentrate as Anthony sat down next to Millicent and the two talked and smiled. “I’m pleased you enjoyed the day, my lady.”
“Will you join us for a picnic tomorrow, Your Grace?”
The baroness grumbled, “It is not the time of year for such outdoor endeavors.” If Wilhelmina were anything like her mother, she would be difficult to endure, let alone enjoy.
“The weather should hold a few more days, I think. Several of the gentlemen are going hunting in the morning, but we will be back in time for the picnic by the lake.”
Slapping the cards down, the baroness said, “And if the weather should turn earlier than you expect?”
It was hard not to laugh. “In that case, luncheon will be held indoors, Baroness. But have a little faith.”
“Faith, pish.” Dealing the cards, she continued to grumble about bad weather and trouble with eating out of doors.
Michael walked over. “May I take a hand, Middleton?”
“Of course.” Preston rose, giving Michael his seat. He didn’t look back to see if Lady Helena looked disappointed, though he did have a twinge of guilt for not staying and talking to her. He would find time to get to know her before they went back to London.
Elinor intercepted him. “Your Grace, I understand you had a nice chat with my husband and son today.”
Despite adoring Elinor, he wanted to push her aside and storm over to Millicent then thrash Anthony soundly. However, being rude to one of his closest friends was not an option. “Indeed. It was a beautiful day for fishing and my walk.”
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