“Then why?” demanded Kendall as she filled a glass of eggnog and handed it to Megan.
“Well, if you must know, there are several reasons,” began Megan. “For one thing, this is my first Christmas without my dad.” Megan paused as the impact of those words slammed into her. Still, she didn’t want to start crying. “And that’s—that’s not easy. My dad and I were close. I miss him.” Her housemates gathered around Megan, and she could feel their empathy as they nodded and patted her on the shoulder. So she decided to tell them everything, just spill the works. “And for another thing, I’m feeling slightly envious of my mom, who’s down in Mexico, and I guess I’m missing her too.” She started to cry now and her voice grew raspy. “And … I can hardly stand to admit this, but I’m missing Marcus too. And I-I’m thinking maybe I was stupid to break up with him—just because of something this dumb girl said to me.” Anna and Lelani looked at Kendall now, like it was her fault. “No one here,” said Megan quickly. “Just someone I shouldn’t have listened to. And now I’m feeling sad that I did.”
They all circled her in a group hug, and she felt loved and a little bit better. Anna handed her a reindeer napkin to blow her nose on.
“Okay, if we’re confessing what’s making us blue, I have some things to say too,” declared Anna.
“Go for it,” said Lelani.
“Yeah, you go, girl,” urged Kendall.
Anna refilled her eggnog glass and took a big sip as if it was going to strengthen her. “Well, as you all know, I’m fairly enraged at my mother, and that does not feel very nice—especially at Christmas when families are supposed to be together. Sure, I’m relieved she’s okay, but I can’t believe she tricked me like that. And then besides all that mess”—Anna took a deep breath—“I may be getting fired right after the holidays.”
“No way,” said Megan. She knew how seriously Anna took her job. Of the four of them, Anna was the only one with the sort of career that she’d actually planned.
“Seriously?” Kendall looked genuinely concerned too. Or maybe she was simply calculating the potential of lost rent money.
“Yes. I blew a really important project at work. So it’s possible there’ll be a pink slip for me early next week. I might have to move back home after all.” Tears were spilling down Anna’s cheeks now, and Megan handed her a Santa napkin.
“That’s really rough.” Megan placed a hand on Anna’s shoulder.
“But you know what the worst part is?” blurted Anna. “I mean the thing that has me the most bummed? It’s that I really do care about Edmond. He’s the greatest guy. And I-I’m the one who dumped him—I let Edmond go for—for Jake the Snake!” Her voice cracked. “Oh, how could I have been so stupid?”
Now they all gathered around Anna as she sobbed, assuring her that it was going to be okay. “Edmond is crazy about you,” said Lelani. “We’ve all seen it in his eyes.”
“And even if you lose your job,” said Megan, “I’m sure you’ll find something else that’s even better. You’re so smart, Anna.”
Anna attempted a shaky smile as she blotted her tears with the napkin. “Thanks, you guys. I’m so glad I have friends.”
“Okay,” said Kendall loudly. “It’s my turn to spill my guts and, trust me, you guys better brace yourselves.”
They all turned to look at Kendall, and Megan figured that she was about to go into drama queen mode, crying about how heartbroken she was over Matthew Harmon not leaving his wife for her—yada yada blah blah blah. In fact, that’s how Kendall started, saying she’d done all she could, but it just didn’t work. But then she started to cry, sobbing really loudly like she’d just had her leg amputated or something.
Lelani was the only one showing much mercy. She put a hand on Kendall’s shoulder and nodded. “Yeah, that’s hard,” she said quietly.
“But that’s not the worst part—not the worst thing,” Kendall burst out. “The worst thing is that I think I’m pregnant.”
Everyone got very quiet. The only sounds came from the fire, the Christmas music, and Kendall’s choking sobs. They were gathered around Kendall with wide, concerned eyes, but no one spoke. Megan couldn’t think of a single thing to say. What could she possibly say that would make Kendall feel better?
“Are you sure?” Lelani finally said quietly.
“I haven’t taken a test. But my period is always on time and this time it’s late, very late. And my body feels different. I mean my boobs are sore and I have to pee all the time. And all I want to do is sleep. Okay, that’s not so different. But the smell of coffee—it makes me want to hurl.”
“Oh, man,” said Lelani. “That sounds like the real deal to me.”
Anna handed Kendall several napkins, then just shook her head. “I’m sorry.”
Kendall broke into fresh sobs now, and they gathered around her in another group hug. As Megan patted Kendall’s back, she couldn’t help but remember how Kendall had complained so bitterly about kids not long ago. Megan remembered how Kendall had sworn she’d never have children—and now this?
“It’s going to be okay,” said Anna in a voice that sounded more confident than her expression. “We’re your friends, Kendall. We’ll help you.”
“And you’ll get through this,” Lelani assured her. “I know it seems scary right now, but you’ll get through it.”
“How?” demanded Kendall with red-rimmed eyes and smudged mascara. “How can you possibly know that?”
Lelani cleared her throat. “Because … I’ve been through it myself.”
“Okay. I need to sit down!” Anna shook her head, then headed toward the living room. “This is making my head spin and I don’t think it has to do with the eggnog, which I’m pretty sure Kendall spiked.”
Megan followed her, and soon they were all sitting around the sectional, including Tinkerbell, who had hopped onto Kendall’s lap and snuggled down into a small white fluff ball. And they were all looking at Lelani.
“I’ve been trying to think of a way to tell you guys,” she began slowly. “But it’s not exactly easy …” For the next several minutes, Lelani poured out an incredible story of how she’d been involved with a doctor and how he’d pretended to be single but wasn’t. She became pregnant, and he wanted nothing to do with her. It all made no sense and yet it made perfect sense. All the mystery surrounding Lelani, her unexplainable sadness, her quitting med school and working at a low-level job at Nordstrom.… Suddenly Megan got it—Lelani had been running from her life.
“Does Gil know about this?” demanded Anna. Her dark eyes flashed with fiery anger again, and Megan was worried they were about to go straight back to where they’d just come from.
Lelani nodded somberly. “I’ve told him everything.”
Anna seemed to soften a bit now. “Is that why you guys were shopping for baby things?”
Lelani looked puzzled. “How did you know that?”
“My mother found out from a friend who happens to be our cousin Brad’s mother-in-law.” Anna shook her head. “That’s how our family works, Lelani, and if you’re serious about Gil you better get used to it.” Then Anna slapped her forehead. “Oh, mama mia! Wait until my mother hears about this! She was freaking over the possibility that you and Gil were expecting—”
“Gil and me?” Lelani looked shocked.
“I’m sure Gil will explain it all later.”
“But your baby, Lelani,” persisted Kendall. “Where is it?”
“My baby’s in Maui with my parents. She’s seven months old now,” Lelani spoke calmly, as if calculating every word. “Her name is Emma. I haven’t seen her since she was a couple of weeks old. And I’m afraid my mother is going to be so attached to her that I’ll never get her back.”
“You want her back?” Kendall’s brow creased.
Lelani pressed her hands to her flushed
cheeks. “I don’t know what I want. Sometimes I think I do. I think I want her and that I want to be a mother. And then I ask myself, What can I give her? And then I don’t know.” Lelani shook her head as silent tears streaked down her cheeks. “I just don’t know.”
Now they all gathered around Lelani on the sectional, wrapping their arms around her. Most of them were crying too. Megan couldn’t remember a stranger Christmas, and yet something about it was very sweet too. Bittersweet.
The group hug slowly evaporated, and they all sat around the sectional wiping their eyes and blowing their noses. Then Kendall got up and marched into the dining room as if on a mission. When she returned to the living room, she was holding the platter of untouched fruitcake that she had sliced and liberally doused with brandy.
“Be careful with that thing,” warned Megan. “If you get it too close to the candle flames we’ll probably all go up in smoke.”
“Man, are we a mess or what?” Kendall sat down and passed her strange offering to the three of them. “But when all else fails, we can always get snookered on fruitcake!”
“Not you,” warned Lelani as she took the platter from Kendall.
“That’s right,” agreed Anna as she took a dark slice and gingerly sniffed it.
“Yeah,” said Megan, “we’re cutting you off.”
“Fine!” Kendall held up her hands dramatically. “Like I said, let them eat fruitcake!”
Thirty
Christmas Day
“We’re going with you,” announced Lelani as Megan was about to pull on her coat.
“What?” Megan peered curiously at Lelani. “To the mission?”
“That’s right.”
“What do you mean by we?”
“She means us,” said Anna as she came down the stairs, trailed by a sleepy-eyed Kendall.
“And my little dog, too.” Kendall smiled as she held up Tinkerbell, outfitted in a red velvet jacket and matching hat.
“Seriously?” Megan was stunned. “You guys are going to come work at the mission with me?”
“That’s the plan,” said Anna.
“All for one and one for all,” said Lelani.
“Will they have turkey?” asked Kendall hopefully.
“And dressing and potatoes and cranberries,” said Megan, “all the trimmings.”
As Kendall drove them into downtown Portland they even sang Christmas carols, making up the lyrics for the lines they couldn’t remember. At the mission, a good-size crowd of homeless people had already lined up by the entrance.
“The doors open at eleven,” said Megan as Kendall parked her car in back. “But dinner isn’t served until noon. Before that there’ll be gift giving and music and things.”
Because they were shorthanded, the mission director was thrilled to have more volunteers, and the four of them were given red felt Santa hats to wear, along with assigned tasks. Megan and Lelani went straight to work in the kitchen. Kendall and Tinkerbell assisted Santa in giving out gifts, which were care packages donated by local churches. Anna joined the musical group, which consisted of a couple of guys and more instruments than performers. She surprised everyone when she played the guitar and sang beautifully.
Shortly before it was time to serve the meal, Gil showed up with Marcus and Edmond in tow. “We’re the cleanup crew,” announced Gil, much to everyone’s surprise.
“But how did you know they needed help?” asked Megan.
Gil grinned at Lelani. “She called and suggested I pick up a couple of buddies to help out. These guys were willing.”
“That’s great.” Megan smiled shyly at Marcus, adjusted her Santa hat, then started to pick up a large stainless-steel tray of sweet potatoes.
“Let me help with that,” he offered.
“Thanks.” She stepped out of the way and watched as he lifted it.
“Was that okay?” whispered Lelani.
Megan grinned at her. “Better than okay.”
“Do you think Anna will be mad?”
Megan glanced at Anna, who was getting ready to sing another Christmas song. Her eyes were on Edmond, who was standing nearby, and a huge smile lit up her face. “Oh, I think she’s okay with it.”
They all worked together. The guys got stuck in the kitchen, and the girls helped to serve the food, joking and smiling at a crowd of mostly old guys.
“This is the prettiest group of servers I’ve ever seen here at the mission,” commented a grizzled old man with a missing front tooth. He was grinning directly at Kendall now.
“Thanks, honey,” said Kendall as she heaped a large spoonful of mashed potatoes on his plate.
“Merry Christmas,” said Lelani as she added some dressing next to his turkey.
He nodded. “Merry Christmas to you, too, lovely lady.”
Now Megan ladled gravy over his potatoes. “That enough for you?” she asked with a bright smile.
“More’n enough, sweetheart.” He gave her a big grin. “Merry Christmas to you, too.”
“Thanks,” she told him. “This might just be one of my favorite Christmases.” As she continued to ladle out gravy, greeting the appreciative guests (and even the ones who weren’t), she knew this was a unique Christmas that she would always remember.
“Hey, Megan, this is kind of like that Jesus story you told us,” said Kendall when there was a little break in the line. “You know, the big party where no one came and the servants went out to the streets to invite people.”
Lelani laughed. “Yeah, our party last night wasn’t too well attended, but there must be a couple hundred people here.”
“Go figure,” said Megan. But the comparison didn’t escape her. This place was filled with all kinds of needy people, whether their needs were emotional, spiritual, physical, financial. They were here, aware of their neediness and being served. Last night, Megan and her four friends had been in great need as well. And when they had all admitted it, God had met them there. He brought them together and, despite their various problems and challenges, God had begun some kind of miracle in their midst, a miracle that Megan wanted to see him continue. Really, what kind of Christmas could be better than this?
… a little more …
When a delightful concert comes to an end,
the orchestra might offer an encore.
When a fine meal comes to an end,
it’s always nice to savor a bit of dessert.
When a great story comes to an end,
we think you may want to linger.
And so, we offer ...
AfterWords—just a little something more after you
have finished a David C. Cook novel.
We invite you to stay awhile in the story.
Thanks for reading!
Turn the page for ...
• Discussion Questions
• A Conversation with Melody Carlson
• An Excerpt from spring broke
Discussion Questions
1.Why do you think Lelani struggles so much to forgive herself for her poor choices and for the disappointments she has caused others? If you were Lelani’s friend, what would you say to her about this? What do you think God would want to say to Lelani about her failures?
2. Why does Anna so readily accept Jake’s apology and resume a relationship with him? Is it possible for a person to forgive someone without exposing herself to more potential pain? Explain.
3. Compare Jake’s treatment of Anna to Edmond’s treatment of her. What makes Anna blind to Jake’s flaws and Edmond’s best qualities?
4. What do you think about Lelani’s choice not to tell Anna about Jake’s advances? Could she have done anything different to affect Anna’s perception of that situation or to preserve their friendship?
5. Lelani finds relief fro
m anxiety by learning how to trust God. What does trusting God mean to you? How do you practice letting go of your anxieties?
6. Compare the advice Gwen and Mrs. Abernathy give to Megan about dating a man who doesn’t share similar faith values. Which perspective most closely represents your own? What would you have done in Megan’s situation?
7. Do Kendall’s housemates and friends make strong enough efforts to discourage her plans to pursue Matthew? What, if anything, should they have done differently? What is a person’s ultimate responsibility in preventing a friend from making poor choices?
8. What will it take for Kendall to see how self-destructive her behaviors are? Do you think a crisis pregnancy will change her? Why or why not?
9. Why is being without family (or in conflict with family) during the holidays especially hard for the four women of Bloomberg Place? Which character most closely represents your own family situation? How would you cope with spending Christmas as she must?
10. What kind of neediness plays a role in each of the four women’s central problems? Megan suggests that God is especially generous to those who admit their needs. How does her observation compare to your own experience of God?
A Conversation with Melody Carlson
The women of Bloomberg Place have pretty diverging opinions about God and religion. What kinds of challenges and opportunities does this dynamic give you as a storyteller?
It’s a great way to imitate life by showing that we all evolve into our faith in various ways and from all sorts of places. In other words, there is no formula. And I believe that one of the most dynamic ways to “share” faith is simply to live out life, honestly and humbly and with the hope that God will shine through.
Do you think today’s young adults have an easier or harder time than other generations did when it comes to talking about faith topics with people who don’t see eye-to-eye?
I think it’s always been “hard.” But I also think we sometimes make it hard. We put too high of expectations on ourselves. Take Megan. In the book, she struggles with what to say, how much to say (which I think is typical), and yet it seems that her housemates are more impressed with who she is and her actions than when she attempts to “preach” at them. And isn’t that how it is in real life too?
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