by Robin Janney
A ngela walked out into the night air onto the back deck and sat on the top step of the stairs leading to the parking lot. The air was cool against her hot cheeks, but it was early September. She rubbed her cheeks in embarrassment.
What had just happened? She used to be good at flirting, but if that’s what had just happened, she was sorely out of practice. Even though she didn’t want to flirt with her boss.
Much.
Their conversation left her confused. She didn’t like being confused. She didn’t like her attraction to her boss, and she didn’t like how she couldn’t figure him out. He wasn’t from around here, she knew this because she still remembered him buying the store. No one thought he would last and there had been a lot of whispering about an outsider taking the store over.
Where had he come from? Why had he come here? What was he like when no one else was around?
Other than attentive. And handsome. And confusing.
She didn’t see him helping anyone else out, and she was sure he had never given Harry a helping hand.
She didn’t have time for this. She liked having his attention and hated herself for it. She didn’t want this! Even though she wanted it badly. If she started to care too deeply for him, he would have the power to hurt her, whether he realized it or not. And then he’d leave her. They always left.
A soft whimper interrupted her thoughts, and she was glad for it. Angela looked around the dimly lit parking lot, wondering what had made the sound. She refused to acknowledge the sliver of fear she felt.
The sound came again, and then she saw the dog. Dingy yellow fur clung to the creature and was too thick for Angela to tell whether the dog was skinny or fat. The dog gave a soft woof and trotted towards Angela happily, one ear hung low while the other stood straight. The dog stopped at the bottom step and cocked her head at Angela.
Without fear, she held her hand out and spoke softly. “Hey there, girl. Come on up, I won’t hurt you.”
The dog didn’t move, so Angela whistled.
That was enough. The dog hopped up the steps and greeted the young woman like she was an old friend. Angela’s laughter sounded loud in the still night air.
She settled the dog down and began to pet her. A quick examination told Angela it was indeed a female dog. The animal sat next to her and began to pant, her tongue hanging out happily at the attention. Angela’s examination of the dog also revealed sharp ribs and a lack of a collar.
“I’m sorry girl, I don’t have any food for you. Come back tomorrow and I’ll see what I can do.” As if the animal could understand her! Angela scratched the floppy ear, and the dog barked. “Hush! It’s late, you’ll get us into trouble.” The dog licked her face again.
“Stop it! That tickles!” Giggling, Angela settled her down again. “You’re a pretty dog, even dirty. You’re a princess down on her luck, aren’t you? If you come back, I’ll see what I can do for you. For now, I’ll call you Princess and pretend you’re my dog.”
Princess, now named, laid down next to her and put her head in the woman’s lap.
“I have to go in soon. Before Craig…Mr. Moore comes looking for me. I’ve been gone too long.” Angela rubbed at her eyes tiredly with her free hand. “I don’t have time for this, Princess. Can you tell me how to stop it?”
Princess, of course, had no answer. After all, she was but a simple dog. What could she know about human hearts?
A s soon as the kitchen door shut behind Craig as he returned home for the night, he flipped a switch to turn a light on and made a beeline for the wall phone. He picked the cordless receiver up and dialed his friend’s number. Kevin Rockwell had been his roommate since their freshman year in college and had gone on to become a psychiatrist. He was also Craig’s best friend.
“Hello?” said a sleepy woman’s voice.
“Hi Sherry, it’s Craig. I didn’t wake you, did I?” Only then did he realize how late it was.
“No,” his friend’s wife answered. “Almost, but not quite. It’s been a rough day.”
“I know the feeling. Kevin still awake?”
“He is. Hold on.”
Craig waited patiently for his friend.
“Hello Craig! How’s your world? Country living getting to you yet?”
“Hardly.” His friend’s cheerful voice comforted him.
“Good. So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this call?”
Craig wasn’t quite ready to tell his friend what was bothering him, so he decided to avoid it as long as possible. Even though he knew Kevin was smart enough to know something was bothering him. He was counting on it. “You sure do sound cheerful for this time of night.”
Kevin’s shrug was almost audibly. “Happens every so often, especially when I drink coffee too late in the afternoon. Store doing alright?”
So much for avoiding the issue. “Yeah, it’s fine. Harry Flynn quit a few weeks ago.”
“Flynn…Flynn…wasn’t he that weaselly guy who liked to drink and quit on you? And then come begging for his job back?”
“That’s him and you have a better memory than I do.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. A few minutes after Harry quit, I look up and here’s this young woman looking for a job. I figured, why not? She lives right in town and her parents shop at the store a lot, but I swear I’ve never seen her before. I asked her about it, I mean, what are the odds? She tells me I banned her from the store just after I bought it because I had caught her and another kid fighting in the side parking lot. She was beating the crap out of him and I’d forgotten all about it.”
“I see,” said Kevin. His friend’s tone told him just how clearly he understood. “How old was she then and how old is she now?”
“Eleven then, twenty-two now.”
There was a short pause as his friend no doubt did the math. “I can see how you wouldn’t have recognized her. It’s been a decade. She’d have changed a lot since then.”
“Yeah, she’s changed a lot. She’s still cocky though.”
Kevin laughed. “Who isn’t at twenty-two? We sure were.”
“Cocky isn’t the right word for the seven of us,” answered Craig, knowing his friend was referring to their group of friends from college.
“No, but it’s a start. Is she a better worker than Harry?”
“It’s like night and day. She’s faster, smarter, smells nicer. Everyone at the store likes her.”
“Everyone, huh?” He could hear Kevin smiling. “What about those two troublemakers you’re always complaining about?”
“One’s her cousin. The other…I don’t know what’s going on there. They started out agreeable, but recently Cori’s been giving her attitude. Angela seems unphased by it.”
“Maybe there won’t be any trouble from that corner then. That’ll be nice for a change. How else is this Angela different from Harry?”
Craig failed to pick up on the gentle probing. “She doesn’t drink for one. I’ve already said she was quicker. She completed an inventory in one night when it always took Harry two, sometimes three nights. She’s always busy. Earlier tonight, she had a round of poker going on in the break room with a few others. It was fun.
“She started out serious in the beginning, but she’s beginning to relax around us. Well, she’s still on the serious side when I’m around. She likes to tell stories from school or the farm. She had Becky and Emma laughing so hard they were practically in tears just the other night. I heard a couple of them talking about how she has a black belt in karate and how she used it to break some guy’s arm because he threatened to kiss her at a school dance.” He wound down, unable to say anything else.
“Sounds like she’s quite the character. Is she pretty?”
Craig hesitated. Yes, she was…but he couldn’t say it. “I hadn’t noticed.”
“Well, maybe you should take the time to notice.”
“You know why I don’t want to.”
Kevin sighed. “I do. And I know it’s not good for you to
hang onto it like this. It was a long time ago.”
“Easy enough for you to say.” He was suddenly angry with his friend. “You don’t have to live with the memory. You don’t still have nightmares about it. You don’t see her almost every time you look at a woman.”
“No, I don’t.” Kevin paused, and Craig wondered what he was thinking. “Wait, you said something different this time. Almost every time you look at a woman.”
“Almost.” Craig took a deep breath and calmed down. It was the most he was willing to admit to tonight. “Sorry I snapped at you.” Before his friend could accept his apology, he continued speaking. “Angela said the reason why she never came back to the store, was because I scared her.”
“You probably did,” his friend said evenly. “She was a kid and you would have been around twenty-two or twenty-three yourself at the time. You’d have been scared too if the situation had been reversed.”
“The thing is Kevin, I think she’s still afraid of me. And I don’t know why. I mean, it’s not like I can pick her up by the shirt collar anymore. Not that’d I’d try, or want to. I wouldn’t want to hurt her.”
“You picked an eleven-year-old girl up by her shirt collar?” Kevin was laughing again. “Oh Craig, you’re lucky you didn’t have charges leveled against you.”
“Her parents never said a word to me about it. I didn’t even know the Carman’s had three kids until I hired her. I get the impression she never told them.”
“Either that or they agreed with your actions. What makes you think Angela’s still afraid of you?”
“She can’t get away from me quick enough. After the poker game was over and the others had gone back to work, I played a hand with her and beat her. I know she was upset because I’d been able to see through her bluff, but that doesn’t seem like reason enough to run off afterwards.”
“No, not really. Does she know you have a black belt in karate too?” Kevin asked.
“Not that I’m aware of.”
“Okay, then she’s probably not afraid of physical aggression. You ought to have a match some time, see who the better belt is.” There was a slight pause. “Maybe she’s afraid because she’s having the same problem you are.”
“What problem would that be?” Relief filled Craig. His friend had understood what he couldn’t say.
Kevin’s laugh was kind. “You know as well as I do the reason for this call. You may even be able to admit it someday. There’s no reason to play dumb.”
Craig hoped his grin carried across the line. “Who said I was playing?”
“Uh-huh. You’re not going to say anything more tonight, are you?”
“I haven’t said anything yet.”
Again, Kevin laughed. “You’d be surprised by how much you say when you don’t say anything. Remember, I’ve had years of practice at deciphering your riddles.”
Craig frowned. Yeah, but he didn’t like being confronted with it. “I think I’d better let you go.”
“Alright. Craig, as your friend…just give it time.”
“And everything will be okay?” He hated this tone of voice, a little boy asking a father if the monsters were gone. God, he hated this pain.
“Yes, everything will be okay.”
Craig recovered from the moment. “Sorry I bothered you guys so late.”
“Any time, Craig. You know that.”
The two men hung up. One man turned his kitchen light off and proceeded to go further into darkness. The other turned to see his wife standing in the doorway where she’d been listening intently.
“That sounded very…interesting,” Sherry said to him.
Kevin nodded. “You should have heard the other side.”
“I imagine.”
“Unless I miss my guess, Craig is well on his way to falling in love.” Kevin loosened his tie.
“It’s about time.”
M ichelle smiled widely at her husband. Together they listened over their phone’s speaker as Angela vented her frustrations with her boss. She could almost see her friend as she paced around her room.
“Can you believe he can see through my bluff?” complained Angela, her voice tinny as it came over the speakerphone.
“Who can?” She knew who it was, because her friend had been complaining about the same man for the past five minutes, but Michelle couldn’t pass up the chance to antagonize her.
“Crai…Mr. Moore,” Angela snapped. “And he won’t even tell me what my tell is.”
“Of course not. If he told you, you’d change it and then he wouldn’t be able to win again.”
“This isn’t funny, Michelle! He was even able to tell I was embarrassed by something Susan said.”
“Really?” Michelle frowned and looked at her husband on the couch next to her. She even had trouble telling when Angela was bluffing or embarrassed and she was Angela’s best friend. Her friend didn’t exactly put her emotions on display, not if she could help it. Except for the panic and anxiety. She’d had no trouble seeing those. “That’s even more interesting.”
Angela continued as if she hadn’t heard Michelle. “Do you know what Mr. Moore did tonight? After closing, he came out and helped me stock the shelves. He does that sometimes. Never asks, just does it. Anyway, we had this stupid…no, it wasn’t stupid. It was a confusing conversation about the cards I don’t play and the price to see them. And I don’t even know what we were talking about. I really don’t. Whatever it was, it wasn’t poker. I got so upset and needed air, I just gave myself an extra break. He didn’t seem upset. I mean, he didn’t fire me or scold me or anything.”
Michelle’s frown had long since returned to a smile. “What did happen when you came back?”
“Not much,” admitted Angela with a sigh. “We smiled at each other and finished the job in silence. I think we put stuff on the wrong shelves. I’ll probably have to fix it tomorrow.”
Clearing her throat, Michelle decided to give her friend a jab. “Of course he didn’t say anything to you. He was probably afraid you’d run away again.”
There was a long silence, and she knew she had hit a nerve. She could almost see Angela’s glare.
“I did not run away! That’s a low blow, Shell. I’m not a coward.” Her friend’s voice ricocheted from anger to despair in the space between breathes. “Come on, Shell! You’re supposed to be on my side here.”
“I don’t see different sides to this. From what I’m hearing, Craig hasn’t done anything wrong.”
There was a thud.
“Angela, are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” was the wooden answer. “The phone fell. No, Cra…Mr. Moore hasn’t done anything wrong. Or inappropriate even. It’s just – he treats me differently from the other employees. He talks to me more, and when he looks at me…I just don’t like it.”
“So, let me get this straight. He looks at you differently and treats you differently?”
“That’s what I said. It’s nice to know you’re listening!”
“So,” Michelle drew the word out. How could her friend be so blind? “Maybe he thinks you’re different from his other employees. Maybe Craig likes you.”
“Do you think so? I mean, I’m not the prettiest girl here.”
In a heartbeat, she decided to try a different tactic. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Ange. What Craig considers beautiful might not be the same as what you’ve been taught.” If Michelle ever found out who had taught her friend she was ugly, she’d give them a piece of her mind.
“What if…what if he still thinks I’m the little girl beating up Stinky?”
“Angela, you’re not eleven. You don’t look it, you don’t act it, so why would he think that of you?”
“I don’t know.” Angela made an impatient sound. “It’s just, if he likes me, why doesn’t he say something? He’s never even shaken my hand.”
“I don’t have those answers, Ange. I’m sorry. You could always say something to him.” Michelle cursed herself silently as soon as
the words were out of her mouth. Even Quenton winced at the blunder. He’d heard this conversation in different variations, even though he’d never met either Angela or Derek.
“Not after Derek.” Each word was bitten off.
“I’m so sorry, Angela. I shouldn’t have said it.”
There was a deep breath. “It’s okay,” said Angela, her tone deceptively placid. “It’s ancient history.”
Michelle wanted to argue that point, but now wasn’t the time. Later. “So, is Widow Jamenson still convinced Mr. Moore is gay?”
“I wish she’d pick a story and stick with it. She’s come up with so many over the years. He’s in the mob or an ex-con. The undercover cop story was funny. But yeah, the gay story is the one I hear the most. People have way too much time on their hands in this town.” A soft sigh was heard. “Craig isn’t any of those things.”
“Mr. Moore you mean.”
“That’s what I said.”
Michelle coughed to cover her laugh, even as Quenton covered his mouth to stifle his. “Just how do you know he’s not gay?”
“I just know.”
“Like he could see through your bluff, perhaps?”
“Maybe I lick my lips?” suggested the woman in denial. “I probably forget to look at my hand.”
“I’ve played enough poker with you to know you don’t do any of those things. Look, Ange, listen to me. It’s late where you are. Why don’t we hang up and you go to bed?”
“You’re not my mother, Shell.”
“No, but I’m on my way to be a doctor. Sleep deprivation distorts how we see things, and I know you don’t get enough sleep. Even when you go a long time in-between calls, I know.”
She almost couldn’t hear Angela say, “I can’t sleep sometimes.”
“You mean you don’t want to.”
“Oh, I want to sleep.” The other woman’s voice strengthened. “I just don’t want those nightmares. And don’t tell me I need to see someone about them. After what I went through with that quack as a kid, I won’t see another.”