by Robin Janney
“Here,” said Craig, pressing a wad of tissues into her hand and leading her to a seat. This row against the wall was empty of other people.
She looked at the tissues unsure of what to do with them. Was she crying? A little. She wiped the tears from her face. “Do you want to go home?”
“No, I’ll wait with you.” At her surprised look, he said softly, reminding her, “Hey, she’s my dog too.”
She nodded and looked away from him.
Craig wished he could read his friend’s mind right now. She looked so confused and hurting right now, but she wasn’t voicing any of it. Half of him wanted to reach out and hold her hand, the other half wanted to hold all of her. He wasn’t sure if either side was going to win.
“My purse is still at the store,” Angela said suddenly. Her hands moved restlessly around her knees, like she was picking away lint only there was nothing there. “Surgeries cost money.”
Was she really worrying about money? If even half of what he had heard was true, Doc Maynard probably wouldn’t charge Angela anything. Still, he decided to ease her anxiety in case Doc’s partner decided differently. “Angela, let me pay for it.”
“I can’t…”
“Yes, you can. Didn’t you just agree she was my dog too?”
Angela took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes, okay.”
It was a hollow victory for Craig. There was too much pain in her voice. After the Beast’s mocking in his dream last night, he was too afraid to press her to share her pain with him. “Angela, I’ve been thinking. For a while now. Do you think Princess would make a good house dog?”
“I don’t have a house, and the Dodge’s won’t let me bring her to the apartment. I’ve tried.” Her voice was wooden.
“But I do. I could take her.”
She finally turned her head and looked at him. The look in her eyes killed him. “What are you saying?”
“I could take Princess into my home, make her my dog legally. I’ve been thinking about it, I just haven’t gotten around to talking to you yet. It would get her off the streets. I’d even put in an underground fence, so she can still be in the yard. What do you think?” It all sounded so inadequate, even to Craig. A day late and a dollar short. Since the first time he’d seen the shadow in her eyes, he realized it never really disappeared. On those occasions when she was laughing, maybe. When her smile lit her whole face, which was too seldom. Right now, it wasn’t just in her eyes…her whole being was encompassed by it and it was growing darker.
“It’s not like I’d be taking her away from you,” he said, guessing. “You’d still be able to do everything you do now. I insist. The only difference is she’ll be living in my home and fenced in the yard. I’ll even give you a key to get in the side door.”
He saw the wall begin to crumble inside her. Tears began to slide down her cheeks, her lips trembling as she struggled to contain them. She managed to stifle a sob, and then she was hopping to her feet and running out the door. He followed her out to the parking lot where she’d bent over the hood of his truck. Thinking she was alone, she’d released herself and was crying in earnest.
Resting his hand on the back of her shoulder, he wasn’t surprised when she jerked upright. She looked up at him and began to crumble.
“Please, please don’t tell me to quit crying just because she’s an animal,” she pleaded.
“Never,” he promised her. He pulled her into his arms. “Let it out Angel, I have you.” She didn’t return the embrace, but she accepted it, relaxing in his arms and burying her face in his shirt. Her hands were clenched in fists against his chest, but she’d stopped fighting the tears. All he was aware of was the sound of her agony, the trembling of her body and the ache in his heart which he was sure matched hers.
Later, when Craig would think back on this moment, he would think it odd. Odd that he hadn’t noticed the feel of her body against his, the alluring scent of roses which always hung around her, how she was clinging to him as if he were the only thing holding her up. Later, he would notice these things, but not now.
He ran his hand along her hair as if to soothe away the pain. His own eyes weren’t dry. “It’s okay, it’s going to be okay,” he heard himself saying, voice unsteady. “She’s going to be okay. Didn’t you say so yourself?”
“It’s my fault,” Angela sobbed. “If I had just waited for her, this would never have happened. I shouldn’t have called for her.”
“That’s nonsense and you know it! It could have happened at any time. She could have been hit on a back road and we’d never have known about it.” He gave time for that to sink in. “Have you been praying at all?”
“I thought you didn’t believe…”
Craig smiled weakly. “It doesn’t matter what I believe. One of us should keep the faith. You know, be the strong one and ready to support the other when they call in the middle of the night because of a dream.”
Angela was caught between a laugh and a sob. Her crying was easing though. At some point, her hands had unclenched and her arms had slipped around him. “We could take turns,” she said at last. “My mom and dad do.”
“Maybe. Feeling any better?”
“A little. I feel like I could cry forever.”
His arms tightened. “Cry until you’re done. I won’t let go.”
He wasn’t sure how long it was until she said, “I hope she lives.”
“So do I.”
“It’ll be okay if you take her into your home. She’ll be safer there.”
“Consider it done. You want to go inside and wash your face?”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” The young woman pulled away from him, wiping her face with her hands. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“No problem.” As they turned and walked back into the vet clinic, Craig’s hand rested on Angela’s back, just below her shoulder blades. Neither noticed.
W hen Angela returned from the bathroom and sat beside Craig in the waiting area, there was a silence between them. Craig was having a hard time taking his eyes off her. She had taken her hair down, and her auburn waves traveled almost to her waist.
“Did you call the store?” asked Angela, oblivious to his gaze.
“Yes. Dave’s holding the fort down now. He’s doing my job and yours.” He chuckled. “Offhand I’d say your job is keeping him the busiest. I didn’t have a lot planned for this afternoon. He also said that the girl who hit Princess left her name and number, so we can call her and let her know how Princess is doing.”
“I think it was one of the Barry girls, but I can’t tell you which one.” She shrugged, playing with the red rubber band around her wrist, and Craig wondered if it was the same one she’d walked out of his office with on her first day at the store.
“I couldn’t either,” Craig admitted. He reached out and pulled hair back away from her face. “Did Jared enjoy his time with you?”
“Yes.” She laughed softly. “He was already talking about ‘next time’ even as he was getting on the bus this morning.”
“Next time?” He leaned back in the chair, his head resting against the wall.
“Oh yes. Next time has to be a weekend stay. We have to go out and see a movie, any would suit him. And we have to have pizza, and tacos, and maybe even lasagna. And then Sunday night we just have to watch one of our favorite movies and eat popcorn.”
His smile was wide. “Demanding little brother.”
“You have no idea.” She almost smiled. “I don’t find myself saying ‘no’ a lot.”
“I bet. What movie do you think you’ll watch?”
“I don’t know. Probably an action or comedy flick. Jumanji maybe. We’re both looking forward to Chronicles of Narnia coming out in December.”
“Those are two very different movies,” he commented.
“We like a lot of different movies. Don’t you?”
“Ah, I tend to stick to action and superhero movies.”
“I saw Batman Begins this summer,” she said, a little smile
on her face. “Before I learned about the farm.”
“Hey, me too!” He wondered how close they’d came to crossing paths. Would he have seen her, or would she have avoided the man who’d scared her as a youth? “Why don’t you bring Jared over to my house that Sunday afternoon and we can watch a movie together?” Did he just say that? He wasn’t going to take it back though, he didn’t want to. “I felt kind of bad turning him down last night, even though I didn’t want to intrude.”
She nodded, tucking her hair behind her ears. “I remember you saying you knew what it was like having a brother.”
“I did say that.” Craig’s heart began to beat nervously, and he hoped she didn’t ask too many questions.
“Older, or younger?”
“Older, by two years.” Please don’t ask anything more. He didn’t know how he’d answer her. He watched Angela open and close her mouth, lick her lips and nod. Somehow, he didn’t think she’d been on the verge of asking him another question about his brother.
Angela cleared her throat and looked over at him. “I’ll let Jared know that you invited us and get back to you.”
“That’s fine.”
She fidgeted some more. “We don’t have to wait here. If you want to go back to the store, we can.”
“It doesn’t matter where we wait, it’ll still be just as hard. If we go back to the store, neither of us would be able to work. And if you were to go home, you’d be just as you are now just alone. Besides, I’d like to stay. That way Doc Maynard can tell us the results right away and we don’t have to wait for a phone call.” He hoped she could see the truth of what he was saying in his eyes. “And I’m enjoying the company.”
Angela’s face colored a pretty shade of pink, and her smile seemed shy. “So am I. It’s not often we sit and talk without work being involved somehow.”
“Now all we have is time.”
Her smile turned mischievous. “What’s the matter? Afraid we’ll run out of things to talk about?”
“Not on your life.”
“Good. Because we seem to be doing just fine so far.”
“We’ve talked about movies and your brother,” he pointed out. “You have a sister too, right?”
“Yes. Cassandra, although she prefers to be called Cassie. Says Cassandra makes her feel like an old woman.”
He felt the same about his first name, but he wasn’t ready to be that forthcoming with her. Craig decided idly that Angela’s eyes were the color of blue you saw after the sun had set, the last deep dark blue you saw before night took over. “Why didn’t she spend the night with you too? Or does she come on different nights?”
“No, Cassie and I…aren’t close.”
“Really? Is it because you two are closer in age?”
Her countenance changed again. Eyes lowering, fingers smoothing the knees of her jeans like she was smoothing a skirt. He’d hit a nerve of some kind, and he wondered if she was going to answer.
“No,” she said at last. “It’s not that. When…when I was ten, something bad happened in my family. I couldn’t handle it very well, I still can’t. For about five or so years after, I wouldn’t have anything to do with either of my siblings. If I did, I wasn’t very nice to them. I was able to change my relationship with Jared because he was too young to remember a lot of it.
“But Cassie remembers, and she’s never been able to forgive me. I don’t really blame her. So, she goes her way and I go mine, no matter how much I wish it were different. Maybe someday she’ll understand.” Angela shrugged, clearly uncomfortable discussing those years. “Despite everything, Cassie’s a lot like I used to be. Just don’t tell her that.”
“That’s too bad,” he said. “I can’t imagine my brother Tim doing anything I wouldn’t forgive, and he’s done some pretty rotten stuff. It shouldn’t matter what happened, you’re still family. What did happen?”
He didn’t understand the emotions playing across her being: sadness, anger, and self-hatred too if he was reading her correctly. Her lips barely moved as she managed to get out, “It doesn’t matter.”
“I think it does.” Especially if it’s the source of your pain.
“And maybe I can’t talk about it.”
Craig could see it was only causing her more pain to press her. Angela could barely speak, her voice tight and strained. He’d get no answers today about what bothered him most. He tried to keep his voice light. “I guess we all have things we don’t want to talk about. Either it’s too painful, or we’re afraid to let others know.”
“Or both,” she whispered.
“Or both,” he agreed. He decided to try to steer the conversation to something lighter. “You must have been one wild child.”
It got her attention. “What makes you say that?”
“I don’t think you got the nickname the Fearless Angela Carman by staying home, obeying your parents and being nice to your siblings.”
Her face turned crimson this time instead of pink. “No, no you don’t. Thankfully I’ve left that behavior behind.”
“You’re still not going to tell me how you got your nickname, are you?”
Angela shook her head firmly. “I told you, I don’t tell those stories. And don’t you dare ask my dad! That would be the equivalent of your parents showing your baby pictures to your date.”
He chuckled in amusement. “That bad, huh?”
She gave him a withering look and spoke rather sharply. “And I suppose you’ve never done anything in the past you regret and would rather not have announced too loudly? Stupid kid stuff, college pranks…oh, I see I hit a nerve with that one. So don’t even start with me.”
Craig regained his composure. She had indeed hit a nerve, bringing visions of the college flagpole to mind. “Hey, I was just teasing you.”
“Oh.” She seemed to consider this, and she gave a tired sigh. “Sorry for overreacting then. It’s been a trying day. I just get so tired of people giving me grief for my past behavior, especially when I know they must have done stuff just like it when they were younger.”
“Specific people?” he asked.
She snorted softly. “My mother, aunts, uncles, any cousin older than I am, my pastor, and at least half the church family. Dad’s not too bad.”
He wondered if she was aware of the bitterness in her voice. Somehow, Craig doubted it. Her father was definitely her favorite parent. “I can see how that could be a tense subject. I’m sorry.”
“Aside from Dad, the only ones who give me a break are my grandparents. I’ve heard Grandmother Rose tell my parents to lay off me before.”
Now this might be a safe enough subject for them both. “Aren’t grandparents wonderful? They accept you for who you are and love you no matter what.”
“Sounds like you have some happy memories.” Merriment twinkled in her eyes.
“Mostly of my Grandma Annie. She was my mom’s mother, and the most involved with us. She was always there for Tim and me. I don’t remember her husband Grandpa Roy as well, he died when I was young. I think I was seven, and I remember being sad. Grandma Annie had this way about her, making you feel like you were her most favorite grandkid even though she treated all of us equally.”
“Sounds wonderful. What about your father’s parents? They weren’t around as much?”
“No. They were good for presents though. They still spend more time abroad than at home.” He chuckled. “I’ve always wondered when they found time to raise their own children.”
“Did your dad have time for you and Tim?” she asked pointedly.
He grimaced and didn’t answer.
“So, there you go. They had the time to have kids, but not to raise them. It’s a vicious cycle. No doubt some of your cousins on that side are continuing it unless they were blessed and had a Grandma Annie of their own. It might be enough to break the cycle.”
Craig smiled, impressed at her insight. “Some spend more time with their kids than others. But what makes you think having Grandma Annie’
s influence would make me a better parent for my future children?” Hold on. Did he just hear himself say future children? He wasn’t going to have kids any more than he was going to get married. None of that had changed.
Her eyes softened as she glanced at him, her smile shy again. The hidden part of his heart mocked him. Nothing’s changed? Who do you think you’re fooling?
“You can call it what you like, intuition or instinct,” she was saying, oblivious to his thoughts. “I call it faith.”
“Like how you knew what you did when you were praying for me?” Her prayer still bothered him. Either God was speaking to her, or she’d been making some very presumptuous assumptions about him. He wasn’t sure he liked either thought.
She nodded. “I can’t explain it very well. I just know things sometimes. We all do in my family.”
Craig reached out, intent on caressing her cheek but he bailed at the last second and settled his hand on the back of her chair. “There’s been other things you’ve known about?”
“Once in a while. The most memorable was the tornado that blew through a few years back. Remember that?” She waited for his nod. “I knew it was coming the day before. I don’t know how exactly. Not even Dad believed me until the next day when the warning came over the TV.”
“Did he ever doubt you again?” Craig asked.
“All the time.”
He was going to try again. Her flushed cheek was turned toward him. He removed his hand from the back of her seat and brought it towards her. She leaned into his touch as he ran the back of his fingers across her cheek, until he was cupping her face, his thumb caressing her cheekbone. He pulled away, his hand returning to the back of the chair.
A soft sigh escaped Angela, he almost didn’t hear. He was confused about what he was feeling. He had never felt like this over his high school girlfriend, and she’d been his sweetheart since they were young. He didn’t understand why Angela’s sigh had sounded so disappointed. He couldn’t even look at her right now, or even continue their conversation. Her skin had been so soft and warm.
Doc Maynard appeared just then, much to his relief. He listened enough to know their dog would be alright, then crossed to the reception desk to deal with the bill.