One he planned to take.
His father had picked him up in a taxi. They hadn’t said much on the ride home from the hospital. When the driver dropped them off, his father paid him. Both men watched as the black sedan pulled out of the driveway.
“Danki,” Adam said. His head hurt, but he had medication prescribed by the doctor that helped keep most of the pain at bay. It also made him sleepy. “I appreciate you bringing me home.”
Norman nodded. “Guess you better get inside. Your mamm is waiting for you. Ready to make a fuss, I’m sure.”
Adam tried not to react to his father’s emotionless tone. He prayed for patience, tried not to be sensitive to the lack of feeling. But he failed. “If I’m a bother, I can leave.”
Norman tipped his hat back. His nose reddened in the chilly air. “If that’s what you want to do.”
It wasn’t what Adam wanted. What he wanted was for his father to ask him to stay. To want him to come back. Not just to Middlefield, but to the faith. But he had never said those words to him. Not even the day Adam left. “Do you want me here, Daed?”
His father gazed past Adam’s shoulder. “Doesn’t matter what I want.”
“It does to me.” Adam met his father’s gaze.
“That’s a surprise. Last I heard, you didn’t care what I thought.”
“That was a stupid bu talking. I’ve grown up, Daed. I finally know what’s important. What’s real.” He let out a deep breath. “What I’ve been searching for.”
“And what is that?”
“Without familye, I’m empty. Without God, I’m nothing.” He reached out to his father. “Without love, I can’t survive.”
His father’s beard trembled. He clasped his forearm over Adam’s uninjured arm. Squeezed it tight. “Then you’ve come home for the right reasons,” he said, his voice shaky. He let go of Adam’s arm.
Adam swallowed the lump in his throat as his father headed toward the pasture. His sanctuary, beyond Sunday worship.
He hadn’t spoken the words, but the sentiment was clear. His father did want him here. That, Adam no longer doubted.
Adam nodded, satisfied. He turned toward the house and saw his truck sitting in the driveway. The last vestige of his non-Amish life. As soon as he was able to drive, he knew exactly what he was going to do with it.
That evening after supper Norman Otto stopped by. Emma opened the door and let him in. He removed his hat and stood twirling it in his hands.
“How is Adam?” Emma had wanted to visit him in the hospital, yet she resisted. Just as she resisted going to see him now. She had been terrified of losing him during the fire. But now that he was okay, she didn’t know where they stood.
“He’s doing fine. Resting, like the doctor told him to. Probably will be in bed for a few days. Want to make sure the concussion is healed.”
Emma’s grandmother nodded. “Did you want some coffee, Norman? Maybe a piece of gooseberry cobbler? Emma made a delicious one tonight for dessert.”
He shook his head. “I wondered if I could talk to you two about something. It won’t take up much of your time.”
“Of course.” Grossmammi went to sit down, while Emma gestured for Adam’s father to sit on the couch. Emma took the chair opposite her grandmother.
Norman twisted the brim of his straw hat some more. He didn’t take off his jacket. He perched uneasily at the edge of the couch and said, “I wanted to speak to you about the workshop.” He looked at Emma. “And about the hospital bills—both Mary’s and yours, Leona. I know you were planning to use the profits from the shop to pay for the bills. And a new horse.”
Emma took a deep breath. She didn’t say anything about Clara and Peter. If they wanted their situation known, they would go to Norman themselves.
“But now that the shop is gone, the ministers and bishop met with me earlier today.” He faced Emma and her grandmother. “We want you to know that whatever money you need for the bills, the church will help pay.”
The old woman nodded. “That’s a lot of money, Norman.”
“The money doesn’t matter. You know that, Leona. No one in the district wants to see you and Emma struggle. Your familye has been through enough. And if you aim to build that workshop again, we’ll help with that too. Instead of a barn raising, we’ll have a workshop raising.” He flashed a rare smile.
“We’ll have to discuss that with Peter and Clara.” Grossmammi looked at Norman, a sheen in her eyes. “But we’re all very grateful for the kind offer.”
“Ya.” Emma tried to hold back her tears. At one time she would have refused the help. Her pride would have kept her tangled in a bitter struggle. Not anymore. This was how God provided. Through people who loved God and loved her, and who cared about her enough to give of themselves. She would accept the help, and hope that at some point in her life, she would be in the position to offer the same to someone else.
Norman rose. “That’s all I came to say. Let me know what you need. And what you decide about the workshop.”
Emma stood. “We will.” She twisted her fingers together. “Would it be all right if I visited Adam? Just for a little while.”
His gaze narrowed slightly. He shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a gut idea, Emma. Not now.”
“You should give him time to rest.” Grossmammi leaned on her cane as she stood. She walked over to Norman and put her hand on his arm. “As soon as Adam’s ready for company, let us know.”
Norman paused. “I will.”
After Adam’s father left, Emma looked at her grandmother. “Did you think Adam’s daed acted a little strange when I told him I wanted to visit?”
Leona shook her head quickly. “Not at all.” She smiled. “Norman Otto’s always been an odd duck anyway. I’m sure he’s just making sure his sohn’s all right after everything that’s happened. Like any vadder would. Now, I think I’m ready for a piece of that gooseberry cobbler.”
“Nice truck.” Sawyer Thompson touched the hood of Adam’s pickup. “How many miles?”
“About 20,000.” Adam watched as Sawyer walked around the truck, examining it. He’d been given the okay to drive today, nearly a week after the fire. His only disappointment was that Emma hadn’t stopped by to visit. His father said she was busy, and Adam had no doubt it was true. Emma was always busy. She had too much work to do.
Sawyer opened the hood. Looked over the engine. If anyone could sell his truck, it would be Sawyer. Adopted by an Amish couple, Lukas and Anna Byler, when he was fourteen, Sawyer had yet to join the church. But he also hadn’t left the Byler home, even though he was twenty-one. His hair was cut short, but he often wore Amish clothes. He had a high school education yet worked in his adopted father’s wood shop with his dad and uncle. No one straddled the Yankee and Amish life the way Sawyer did.
Sawyer shut the hood and wiped his hands on his jeans. “Sure you want to sell it?”
“Don’t have any use for it anymore. But I could use the money.”
Sawyer eyed him for a moment from beneath the brim of his baseball cap. He rocked back on the heels of his tennis shoes. “You coming back to the church, then?”
Adam nodded. “Have to have a long talk with Bishop Esh first. But yep. I’m back. I wish I’d never left.”
“What made you change your mind?” Sawyer held up his hand. “Forget I asked. It’s none of my business.”
“I didn’t find what I was looking for,” Adam said.
“And what was that?”
It would take hours to explain it to Sawyer. But Adam tried to make it as simple as possible. “Peace. I wanted to find peace. I couldn’t find that out in the world.”
Sawyer leaned against the truck. Adam took that as a good sign he was interested in trying to sell it for him. “I know what you mean,” Sawyer said. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Some days I think I can stay here forever, you know? Become Amish and leave all the fancy stuff behind.” He met Adam’s eyes. “Other days I don’t think I can stand
living here another minute. Don’t get me wrong. The Bylers, they’ve been good to me. The whole family has. But it’s a big decision.”
“Ya. And you don’t want to make a mistake, like I did.”
“They aren’t pressuring me or anything, but I know they wish I’d go ahead and join the church. Especially since I’m working at the wood shop full time, now that Stephen’s left to work his farm. Since Lukas’s dad retired, it’s been me, Tobias, and Lukas filling the orders. We’ve kept plenty busy.”
Sawyer moved away from the truck. “But never mind about me. How much are you wanting for the truck?” When Adam stated his price, Sawyer’s eyes widened. “That’s it?”
Adam nodded. “That’s all I want.”
“Wow. You know you could get a lot more for it if you took it to a dealership.”
“I know. I just want to get rid of it.” He didn’t care about the money from the sale. Just needed enough to buy one important thing.
“There are a couple guys I went to school with who might be interested. How does it run?”
Adam tossed him the keys. “Find out for yourself.”
Sawyer caught them and opened the driver’s side door. He climbed inside and started the engine. He pressed the automatic window button and rolled down the window. “Are you coming?”
Adam shook his head. “You geh on without me.”
“All right. I’ll be back in a minute.” He put the truck in gear as Adam held up his hand.
“I’m going to take off. Keep the truck and let me know when you sell it. I’ll bring you the title.”
Sawyer frowned. “You sure about that?”
“I’m sure.”
“Okay.” Sawyer shrugged. “I’ll be in touch.”
Adam watched as Sawyer backed out of the driveway. When his friend disappeared, he walked toward the street and began the four-mile trek back to his house, the last weight of his old life lifted from his shoulders.
CHAPTER 30
The following Saturday Leona was resting in the living room. Emma had gone to the barn to clean it and feed the animals. Just as Leona closed her eyes, a knock sounded on the front door. She slowly made her way to open it.
“Hello, Laura.”
The young woman held a suitcase in her hand. “You don’t seem surprised to see me.”
“I’m not. I’d hoped you’d come by before you left for home.” Leona stepped aside and smiled. “Come in. Sit for a little while.”
Laura walked inside but didn’t sit down. Her hands, now free of bandages, were red and streaked with fresh scars. She didn’t look directly at Leona.
Leona could see why. The stitches that crisscrossed her face had been removed, leaving angry red welts on her cheeks, forehead, and chin. Permanent scars in the worst place possible. Yet to Leona, they didn’t detract from the girl’s beauty at all. Just as she sensed the darkness deep inside Mark King, she could also see the sweetness that Laura kept hidden from the world.
“I can get you something to drink, if you’d like,” Leona said.
Laura shook her head. She finally looked at Leona. “I came to ask for something else.” Her eyes turned bright. “A place to stay.”
“Of course. You can stay the night. We’ll have a taxi come pick you up to geh to the station in the morning.”
Her lips rolled inward. She winced. “You don’t understand. I need a place to live.” Her voice lowered. “I can’t geh home. Not like this.”
Leona wanted to ask why, but she didn’t dare. It had taken a lot for Laura to come here. She wouldn’t do anything to make her leave.
Instead she put her arms around her and said, “Willkum to our familye.”
Emma sat on a hay bale in the barn, looking at the mess around her. For once, she didn’t care. Tommy was in her lap, and Molly had ventured across the yard to the barn and sat by her feet. Dill grazed outside, enjoying the cool air mixed with fall sunshine. Emma didn’t feel a sense of urgency to clean the barn. Just the opposite. She leaned back against the barn wall, closed her eyes, and for the first time in endless months, relaxed.
“Hey.”
She opened her eyes to see Adam standing in front of her. She didn’t move. Instead she smiled. “Hey yourself.”
“Is there room on that hay bale for one more?”
“Sure.” She scooted over. Adam sat next to her, his hip pressing against hers. Maybe there wasn’t exactly enough room for two on the hay bale, but if he wasn’t complaining, she certainly wouldn’t.
She looked at him. The side of his head was scarred by the cut Mark had inflicted with the shovel. They had shaved his hair to put in the stitches, and now a fine light brown fuzz grew around it.
“I know. It looks strange.” Adam put on his hat. “I’ll be keeping this on all the time from now on.”
“You look gut either way.”
The compliment came out spontaneously, naturally, without the least measure of self-consciousness. So much had changed between them. She wasn’t a scared, hurt little girl anymore. She was a woman who knew her own heart and mind. And even if he would never return the love she would always hold for him, she could live with that.
It had taken her awhile to get there, but Emma knew the truth now. If it was in God’s plan for her to remain single for the rest of her life, she would accept it. She had seen how the Lord had taken care of her. Her family. Her friends. She didn’t doubt Him anymore.
“You sure are quiet.” Adam bumped his shoulder gently against hers, the way he used to do when they were kids. “What are you thinking about?”
The cat jumped off her lap and scampered away. “God,” she said. “Life.” She looked at him. “You.”
“Me?” His eyebrows arched nearly to the brim of his hat. His breath came out in small white puffs, dissipating in the chilly air of the barn. “Something gut for a change, I hope.”
“Ya.” She smiled. “I’m glad you’re here. And hopefully we can spend some time together before you geh back to Michigan.”
Adam shook his head. “I’m not going back to Michigan.” He angled his body toward her. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“You’ve decided to stay?”
“Ya. To stay in Middlefield. To be Amish again. So you can’t get rid of me that easily.”
Without thinking she threw her arms around him, her cheek pressing against the short stubble on his chin. Quickly she drew back. “Sorry.” She felt a hot flush run up her neck into her cheeks. She was hopeless.
Suddenly he took her face in his hands and kissed her.
“W-what was that for?”
“I have to have a reason?” A teasing glint appeared in his eyes.
“Ya.” Her lips were still warm from his kiss. “You don’t just kiss a maedel without telling her why.”
“Really?” He leaned back. “Is that some kissing rule I haven’t heard of before?”
All the playfulness and confidence drained out of her. Emma could tell herself every day for the rest of her life that she would be okay without Adam’s love. Maybe eventually she would. But not right now. Not after that kiss. She rose and walked away from him.
He came up behind her and turned her to face him. “That wasn’t the reaction I was expecting, Emma.”
“What reaction did you want? You know how I feel about you, Adam.”
He nodded.
“And I don’t appreciate you playing around with my emotions.”
“I’m not.”
“Then why did you kiss me?”
“Because I wanted to. And I still do.”
Then he pulled her into his arms and kissed her again.
Adam moved his mouth away from hers, but he didn’t let her go. He could hold her soft body in his arms forever. Why had it taken him so long to realize that she was the only woman for him? He had wasted all this time when they could have been dating. Even married.
Then again, it wasn’t time wasted. He wasn’t the same man he was two years ago. Or even two months ago. He had to
grow into the person he was right now to appreciate the woman he loved. The woman he treasured.
Of course she didn’t understand. Why should she, when he’d treated her so poorly in the past? When his cowardice had sent him running away from the one person who kept him grounded, the one person who reminded him of what was important.
She stepped out of his arms, making him feel cold and empty. “Maybe you want to kiss me now. But what about later? You have a habit of changing your mind.”
“Then let me prove it to you.” He stepped toward her. “Geh out with me. On a date.”
Emma stood there, not saying a word.
“Emma, what’s wrong?”
She looked away. “I’m scared.”
He took her hand. “Of what?”
She finally looked at him. “Of losing you. I lost you two years ago. Then I thought I would lose you again in the fire. But you’re here . . .” She looked at their entwined hands. “I don’t think I can go through losing you again.”
Adam let out a sigh and pulled her into his arms. He rested his chin on the top of her kapp. “I’m not going anywhere, Emma. I promise.” He took her soft face in his hands. “I know I have a lot to prove to you. And I’ll do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes, until you believe how much I care for you.”
“I—”
The sound of a vehicle pulling into the driveway cut her off. Adam grinned. They were a little bit early. Yet the timing couldn’t be more perfect. He grabbed her hand. “Come on. There’s something I want to show you.”
Emma followed Adam out of the barn. He dropped her hand as soon as the pickup truck approached and hurried ahead of her. Something was attached to the truck. Was that a horse trailer?
The truck pulled to a stop. A man with a plaid shirt and blue jean jacket stepped out of the truck. “Shetler residence?”
The Middlefield Family Collection Page 22