Clara smiled for the first time since she arrived. “Peter might disagree with the organization part,” she said. “But since I’ve been through this before, I thought I could help you with a few things.”
“How about the whole wedding?”
Clara laughed. “Is it that bad? Isn’t Adam’s mudder giving you advice?”
“Not right now.” Emma didn’t say anything about her talk with her grandmother. While she didn’t want to keep secrets, everybody didn’t need to know what happened between her and Adam. “I think once it gets closer to the date, she’ll be more help.”
Clara nodded. “I also think we should put off building the shelter until after the wedding. Maybe even until the spring. If that’s okay with you. You should be spending time with your mann.”
Emma grinned. “Don’t worry, I will be. I agree about waiting until after the wedding, but I don’t think we should put it off until spring. The shelter will be a warm place for the animals during the coldest months of the winter.”
“All right. That’s up to you. It’s your shelter.” She smiled again. “Your dream.”
Emma smiled. “Danki. I know how hard it was for you to say that.”
Clara pressed her lips together. “It’s hard for me not to feel protective of you.”
“Or boss me around.” Emma tried for a good-natured tone, but a slight note of sarcasm slipped in. Years of resentment couldn’t disappear in a few months.
“You call it bossing, I call it guiding.” Clara shrugged, a half grin on her face. “Peter says I can be heavy-handed sometimes.”
“Sometimes.” Emma leaned forward. “Before we make any plans, I need to know something.”
“What?”
“I love Adam. I can’t wait to be his wife. I need to know that you can accept that. We’ll be familye soon.”
“Emma, your happiness is important to me. I can see he makes you happy.”
“He does. He makes me very happy.”
“Then I’m glad to have him as a schwoger.” Clara suddenly reached over and hugged Emma. “I’m glad this is all happening for you.”
Emma hugged her back. “Some days I have to pinch myself to believe it.” She pulled back. “I never thought I’d feel so wonderful.”
Clara held her sister’s hand. “Enjoy that feeling, Emma.
You deserve it.”
Leona stood in the doorway of the kitchen, watching Emma as she sat at the table. Emma was humming a slightly off-key version of a church hymn as she wrote in a small notebook. From the smile on her face and the rosy hue of her cheeks, Leona could tell she was thinking of Adam.
Emma looked up at her and smiled. “You just missed Clara. She came by to offer her help with the wedding.”
“Miracles never cease.” Leona leaned on her cane as she moved into the room and lowered herself into the chair across from Emma. “What are you doing?”
“Starting a list for the wedding.” She glanced up at Leona.
“There’s so much to do in such a short time.”
“Ya. That’s usually how it is with weddings.”
“I remember Clara’s.” Emma tapped her chin with the eraser end of the pencil. “How perfect she wanted everything to be.”
“I thought your mammi was going to have a fit from all the stress.”
Emma’s expression turned somber. She put down the pencil.
“I wish Mamm was here.”
“Me too, Emma.”
Leona gripped the edge of the table. Emma’s comment made what Leona had to say that much harder. As if it wasn’t hard enough. “I have something to tell you.”
Emma frowned. “I know that look, Grossmammi.” She leaned forward. “What’s wrong?”
Leona hesitated. Maybe she shouldn’t do this. She had prayed for guidance last night, once Norman had agreed to talk to Carol. Did Emma really need to know about her mother’s weakness? Would that taint her memory of her? Yet how much worse would it be if she found out some other way, and found out that Leona knew?
Emma had experienced enough betrayal and loss in her young life. There was no guarantee that she wouldn’t deal with more. But Leona didn’t want to be the source of it. Like ripping off a bandage, it would be painful now, but quick.
The secret had festered long enough.
Emma’s chest tightened. What else could go wrong? She finally had what she wanted, what she’d prayed for. Adam’s love. His promise to marry her. A better relationship with her sister. For the first time in years she looked forward to the future.
Yet the ache in her grandmother’s eyes promised to bring more pain. When would enough be enough?
“It’s about your mammi, Emma.” Grossmammi cleared her throat. Her grandmother continued speaking. About Emma’s mother. Adam’s father. Their indiscretion. A buzzing sound grew loud in her ears as she heard the words.
Emma couldn’t sit still any longer. She got up and paced across the room. “How do you know this?”
“Mary told me. Norman confirmed it when I confronted him.”
It made sense. Adam’s parents’ strange behavior when they heard about the wedding. Carol’s distance and noticeable despair. Everything finally fit. “Does Adam’s mother know?”
“I think she does.”
“I think so too.” Emma gripped the back of the chair.
“What about Adam?” Was he keeping another secret from her?
Grossmammi shook her head. “I doubt it. Emma, I’m so sorry. Sit, lieb. Please.” When Emma sat down, Grossmammi reached for her hand.
“I didn’t want to tell you. I don’t want you to think badly of your mudder. She was a gut woman. And your vadder had just died.”
“You forgave her that easily?”
“It wasn’t my place to forgive her, Emma. She didn’t wrong me. She didn’t even wrong your vadder. She needed God’s forgiveness. Not mine.”
Emma’s eyes stung. She closed them, trying to hold the tears in. She should be angry, but she wasn’t. Her mother had endured so much suffering, so much loss. Emma remembered how much she missed Adam when he left Middlefield. Her mother and father had been married for years, had loved each other since they were teenagers. In her own grief over losing her father, she’d never thought about how hard her mother had grieved over her husband.
Emma opened her eyes. “I’m tired of secrets. I’m glad you told me.”
“Then you understand?” Her grandmother’s blue eyes held hope.
“Ya. I do. Mammi didn’t wrong me either. And I know she sought God’s forgiveness.”
“She did, kinn.”
“Which is all that matters.” Emma released her grandmother’s hand. Picked up the pencil. A touch of pain lingered in her heart, mostly grief that her mother wouldn’t be there for her wedding.
She smiled at Grossmammi. “Will you help me plan?”
Grossmammi grinned. “I would love to.”
CHAPTER 21
“Whose house is this?” Laura asked.
Sawyer put the truck in park. “The Mullets’.”
“You want me to meet the Mullets?”
“No.” He opened the door. “Come with me.”
Laura walked next to him as they cut through the yard behind a large white house with a wooden play set in the back. They made their way to a pond at the edge of the property, near a small grove of oak and maple trees.
“Reckon we should let them know we’re here?”
“They don’t mind me coming here. They’re good people.”
They reached the edge of the pond. Sawyer stood on the bank, the toes of his work boots dangling over the edge, hovering above the murky water. Brown leaves floated on the surface. A gaggle of geese flew overhead, their honks breaking the silence as they headed south.
Laura waited for Sawyer to speak, to tell her why he’d brought her here. It was an ordinary-looking pond, but she figured there was something special about it. Special to Sawyer, anyway.
Finally he spoke. “I come ou
t here a lot. Mostly to fish. It’s a pretty good fishing hole.”
Laura folded her arms across her chest. The wind kicked up and she shivered, but tried to hide it from Sawyer.
“Cold?”
“A little. But I’m all right.”
“I’ve got a jacket in the truck.”
Before she could protest he hurried away. She turned and looked at the pond again. Wind blew leaves against the water, forming little waves that lapped against the grassy edge. More geese flew overhead, a common sight and sound now that winter was approaching. Despite the chill and the cloudiness of the day, a sense of calm enveloped her. She was starting to understand why Sawyer came here.
He appeared behind her and put his jacket around her shoulders. She looked down at the dark blue fabric and realized it was an Amish jacket.
“You look surprised,” he said.
“I am. I figured you’d have an Englisch jacket. Not an Amish one.”
“I have as many Amish clothes as I do Yankee ones. Anna made sure I would fit in no matter where I was. That was important to me when I was a kid.”
“And now?”
He shrugged. “Now I don’t know.” He squatted down by the edge of the pond and ran his fingertips across the grassy edge. “I don’t know anything anymore. Feels like my entire life has been a lie.”
Laura paused. What could she say to that? She didn’t know his entire story, yet she could see he’d been through so much. Her heart reached out to this gentle, wounded man.
He looked over his shoulder and up at her, giving her a half grin. “I’m not sure why I brought you here.”
“I’m glad you did.”
“Johnny and I used to fish here a lot. Mary Beth sometimes joined us.”
“That’s Johnny’s twin sister, right?”
“Yes. The one who just got married.” Sawyer gazed out over the water. “When I started high school, he asked me lots of questions about what it was like. He was curious, but not enough to want to try much outside of the Amish life. He always seemed to understand his place in the world. I have no idea what that feels like.”
Laura reached out to put a hand on his shoulder, then pulled back. She had no comfort for him, because she felt the same way. Confused. Torn in two directions. The only thing that came to mind was what her mother used to say whenever Laura asked for advice: “You must pray.”
But prayer never seemed to be enough. Eventually Laura quit trying to talk to her mother—and to God.
“I shouldn’t have bothered you with this,” he said.
“I don’t mind.” She snuggled deeper into Sawyer’s jacket. The fabric held the scents of wood smoke and sawdust, mixed in with a smell that was unidentifiable, but made her stomach flutter. “I wish there was something I could do to help.”
“My mom always said it was good to talk things out.” He picked up a small rock and threw it into the pond. Ripples parted the water, sending the leaves floating in different directions. “Funny how she never told me anything about her life.”
“You grew up without knowing your grandparents?”
“Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. No brothers or sisters either. It was always just the three of us. I remember asking my mom about it. Why we didn’t ever visit any relatives and no one came to see us. All she said was that her parents and my father’s parents were dead.”
He swallowed. “My father went along with everything she said. I wonder how many more lies they told me?” He stood and faced her. “We should get back. I’m sorry I touched your cheek earlier. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“It’s okay. I was just . . . surprised.” She looked away. “The scars—”
“They’re barely noticeable.”
“Now look who’s lying.”
“I’m not. You might think they are when you look in the mirror. But I hardly see them.” He took a step forward. Opened his mouth as if to say something more. Instead, he turned and headed for the truck.
Laura followed him. They were halfway back to the Bylers’ shop when he spoke again.
“You know, you’re really impressive.”
More surprises. A man who wasn’t afraid to say what was on his mind. She appreciated that, just as his compliment warmed her. “That’s kind of you to say, but the job is easy. The office is very organized.”
“I’m not talking about your job.” He glanced at her. “Your attitude. The way you don’t let what happened to you bother you.”
She folded her hands together. “Danki,” she whispered.
If only he knew how she really felt. He had confided in her. Could she trust him enough to bare her secrets?
She’d never know unless she took the risk. But she couldn’t bring herself to tell the truth.
Not to him. Not to anyone.
“You sure you don’t want me to pull up any farther?” The driver turned his head and looked at Cora. They were pulled over on the side of the road a few feet away from a large white house. A line of laundry hung on the front porch. But Cora barely noticed.
“No,” she said. “This is fine.”
Perfect, actually. She had an unobstructed view of Sawyer and Laura standing by the pond. He had just put his jacket over her shoulders. How sweet. And how telling.
For all his bluster about Middlefield being his home, how he didn’t care about money and couldn’t leave his family, Cora now knew the real reason Sawyer didn’t want to go to New York. Even from this distance she could see how close they stood together. For some unfathomable reason, he cared for her. And not as a coworker or a friend. Something much more was going on between them.
Sawyer wasn’t the only one who had insight into people.
Sawyer and the woman turned around and left the pond.
Cora leaned forward. “We’re finished here.”
“Are you—”
“Drive!” She looked out the window. She couldn’t risk Sawyer seeing her here.
“You don’t have to be rude about it.” The driver yanked on the gearshift and pulled onto the road. As they drove away, Cora knew exactly what she needed to do. By tomorrow, she would be on a plane to New York.
With her grandson.
After dropping Laura off at the shop, Sawyer went on home. As much as he’d like to use work as a distraction, he couldn’t seem to manage it. Couldn’t focus. Besides, he and Laura had spent more time than he thought at the pond. It was near quitting time. Even if he could work, he wouldn’t get much done.
At least he wouldn’t have to face Cora.
Questions about his past still whirled inside his head. He just wasn’t willing to meet her terms to find out why his parents had lied.
But when he walked into the house, he found her seated in the living room. Alone.
“I thought you were gone.”
He didn’t move far from the door. Or take off his hat. He wouldn’t get comfortable with her.
“I changed my mind.” She gestured to the chair next to the couch. “Sawyer. Join me. Please.”
He perched on the edge of the chair. “I haven’t changed my mind.”
“I understand. I know now we started off on the wrong foot.”
She looked at him. “I’m used to having things my own way.”
“I didn’t notice.”
She smirked. “I’m also used to sarcasm. And digs. And thinly veiled insults. There’s not much you can say to hurt me, Sawyer.”
Sawyer looked up. “I don’t want to hurt you. I just want you to leave.”
“But I want to start over.” She held out a blue-backed packet of papers, even thicker than the legal papers she had presented to him yesterday. “I want you to look at this.”
“What is it?”
“My will. I had it changed when I found out about you.”
He started to shake his head, but she held the papers out to him. “You were right about legacy being important to me. But it’s not just about my legacy. Your grandfather worked hard to build Easley Industries. I d
on’t want the business he loved to end up in the hands of a group of investors who have no personal stake in the company’s success or failure.”
Sawyer paused. He took the documents but didn’t open them. “What did your original will say?”
She gave him a rueful smile. “I left everything in a trust. Kenneth is the executor.”
He stared at the papers on his lap. Then he looked at her.
“You said you wanted to know more about me. Here’s the first thing: I don’t care about money. Mom and Dad never did. The Bylers don’t. So it doesn’t matter how much money you bribe me with—”
“It’s not a bribe. It’s what you deserve. I know I’ve been less than polite toward you and your adoptive family.” She twisted the pearl necklace around her fingers. “I want to apologize for that.”
“Apologize to them.”
“I already did.”
Her admission surprised him. What was she up to? This wasn’t the same woman he’d left this morning. “Cora, what do you want from me?”
“I want you to give me a chance. To give New York a chance. Just visit. I promise I’ll tell you everything. About my relationship with Kerry. How she met your father. All your questions will be answered.”
“And then?”
“And then, if you choose to—” She glanced away. “You can come back to Ohio. I won’t stop you, if that’s what you want.”
He leaned back in the chair and scrutinized her expression. She was serious. The curiosity lingering at the edges of his mind slammed into him full force. If he went with her, he would find out why his parents lied to him. He would know his family history.
Sawyer opened up the will. His hands started to sweat as he read it. By the time he was done, his mouth dropped open.
“Understand now?”
He nodded. Looked at the will again. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to say yes. Something was still holding him back, and he wasn’t sure what it was. “I’ll have to think about it.”
The Middlefield Family Collection Page 37