“We’ll have to discuss it, of course.” Lois smiled. “We’ll get back to you as soon as we’ve made a decision.”
Johnny’s smile slipped a bit. He should have known they wouldn’t instantly agree to something this big without giving it some thought, and hopefully some prayer. When he had bowed his head to give thanks for the meal, they had both joined him, which fortified his belief that the Wagners weren’t in his life by accident.
“I understand,” he said. “Take the time you need.”
Just don’t take too long.
After they left, Johnny went back inside to the living room, collapsing on the old couch he’d picked up at the thrift store the day after he moved in. Every bone and muscle in his body ached with fatigue and tension. He tried to relax, but the silence in the house overwhelmed him.
Odd, it had never bothered him before. But having Katherine here, just for these two days, with her smiling and her humming as she cleaned the house and prepared the meal, made him realize how lonely it was here.
The late evening sun shone through the front window, the beams penetrating the clean glass. He stared at the soft, fading light for a moment before his eyes widened. He shot up from the couch and touched the curtains. Curtains that hadn’t been there before.
Curtains she had brought. And knowing Katherine as he did, probably curtains she had made with her own hands.
He ran his fingers over the fabric. What other small gestures had escaped his notice? He shut the curtains against the fading sun and tried to close his mind against his conscience. He was about to go out to the barn and settle his horse in for the night when he spied Katherine’s colorful cloth bag on his only end table.
Now he had an excuse to see her. He’d return the bag, pay her for the groceries, and tell her how well the meeting went and how much he appreciated her help.
He wanted to do more. Needed to do more. But he couldn’t, not now.
When he returned from the barn, he saw remains of the dinner on the table. One piece of cherry pie left—Mary Yoder’s pie, bought at the restaurant. The Wagners had devoured it with delight, just as they had the rest of the meal.
He put the dishes in the sink; he’d wash them tomorrow. As he stood in the kitchen, his mind filled with the image of Katie standing at the stove smiling at him, making a delicious meal from a few simple ingredients.
She was amazing. He couldn’t deny that.
He just had to deny everything else.
CHAPTER 11
Katherine took a deep breath and tried to compose herself before she walked into the house. She was bone-tired, having worked a full shift at Mary Yoder’s after a sleepless night.
On the way home she thought about Johnny again, which threatened to ruin the rest of her evening. On top of that she had a horrible headache.
Still, she didn’t want her parents to worry or ask questions she couldn’t—wouldn’t—answer. She forced a smile and opened the back door. When she entered the kitchen, she saw her mother open the oven and place a loaf of bread inside to warm it.
“Hallo, Katherine,” her mother said, shutting the oven door. “How was your daag?”
“Gut.” Katherine walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of pain reliever. Although she didn’t have an appetite, she added, “Something smells appeditlich.”
“Must be the ham and bean soup. I’m trying a new recipe I saw in The Budget. I didn’t see you at all yesterday. Did you work overtime?”
“Nee. I was helping a . . . friend.” She couldn’t lie to her mother, but she didn’t have to admit all the details either. She swallowed two aspirin with a glass of water and put the glass in the sink. “Do you need help with anything?”
“You could set the table.”
She nodded and fetched the plates. “Where’s Bekah?”
“Helping Judith with some sewing.” Mamm arched an eyebrow. “Although who knows how the dresses will turn out. Bekah doesn’t have your gift with needle and thread.”
“Sewing isn’t her favorite thing.” Katherine set the plates on the table.
“Definitely not. She’d rather be out with your father plowing the field, I think.” Mamm opened the gas oven to check on the bread. “Guess we’ll have to eat without her tonight. Will you geh outside and get your daed?”
Katherine nodded and went out the back door, through the small backyard. She waved at their neighbor, Mr. Harvey, who was sitting in a rocker on his front porch. After a bad start settling into the neighborhood, one that involved his son trying to steal from him and hurting Bekah in the process, the elderly man had turned out to be a nice yet quiet neighbor who liked to keep to himself.
She found her father behind the barn, cleaning caked dirt off the plow. “Supper’s ready.”
He rose, pushing his straw hat back from his florid face. A cool breeze flipped up the ends of his red hair, which was only just now showing signs of gray. He looked out at the small plot of land where they put in their vegetable and flower garden. The grass, green from summer rains, covered the field, except for the short stubs of cut cornstalks still poking out of the ground.
“Getting a fine start on the garden,” her father said. “Next week I’ll start plowing. I’m a little behind on that this year.” He looked at Katherine. “Your mamm will be glad.”
“Ya.” A sharpness pierced her temple. She shut her eyes against the pain.
“Katherine?” Her father approached her. “Are you all right?”
“Just a headache. I took something for it.” She forced a smile. “I’m sure it will be better soon.”
He nodded but still looked at her with concern. “Are you sure everything is okay?”
“It’s just a headache, Daed.”
“That’s not what I mean. You seem . . . different.”
Her father could always sense when something was wrong, even when she tried to hide her feelings. His question, combined with the pain, sent her over the edge. “There’s nothing wrong, okay?”
“If you say so.” He frowned, his blue eyes stern. “Tell your mamm I’ll be there in a minute.”
Katherine clenched her hands into fists. Frustration welled up inside.
She was tired. Tired of loving someone who didn’t love her back. Weary of her life being at a standstill. Resentful of everyone thinking she was sweet but not very smart. Not good enough. Especially for Johnny.
But there was nothing she could do about any of it, except what she’d always done—pretend it didn’t bother her. She let go of her foul mood and gave him the brightest smile she could, adding the right touch of genuineness. “I’m sorry, Daed. It’s been a long day. Don’t worry about me. Everything is just perfekt.”
His concerned gaze faded. He grinned. “That’s my maedel. The eternal optimist.” He set down the plow. “I’ll deal with this later. Let’s eat.” He started for the house and she followed.
After supper, Katherine headed for her room upstairs. When she reached the top, she heard Bekah call her name.
“You have a visitor.”
She turned around and went back downstairs, wondering who. Not Johnny, of course. Or Mary Beth—she was too busy with her young baby. When she reached the living room, she was surprised to see Isaac Troyer standing there.
“Hi, Katherine.”
“Hello, Isaac.” She turned and glared at Bekah. Couldn’t she have a moment of privacy?
Her sister smiled and left the room.
“I’m sorry to bother you,” Isaac said. “But this couldn’t wait until tomorrow. One of your coworkers told me where you lived. I hope you don’t mind.”
She shook her head. “Is something wrong?”
“Nee. It’s just that I have to geh back to Walnut Creek to help my father for a couple of weeks. Not just in Walnut Creek, but a few other towns in Ohio and New York, helping some farmers establish their alpaca herds.”
“Alpacas?”
“Ya. We’ve raised them for years. Seems more families want to get int
o the business. He likes giving them advice in person, and this time he wants me to geh with him.” He pushed his hat back from his head. “I won’t be here for the singing Sunday.”
The singing. She’d been so wrapped up with Johnny she’d forgotten all about Isaac’s invitation. “That’s all right.”
“But I wondered, would you mind if I wrote to you? I don’t want to lose touch while I’m gone.”
Katherine paused, only to wonder why she was hesitating. She didn’t have Johnny. Or any other offers. And Isaac had always been nice to her, and attentive. “Ya,” she said. “I’d like that.”
“All right.” He started to back away. “I’ve gotta geh, but you’ll be hearing from me soon. Bye, Katherine.”
She followed him to the door and watched him leave. As he got into his buggy, he waved. She waved back.
“Who was that?” Bekah said.
“None of your business,” Katherine said. She was done wearing her heart on her sleeve for everyone to see. She deserved something—someone—that belonged only to her. At least for the moment.
And hopefully, finally, with Isaac’s help, she could put her feelings for Johnny to rest once and for all.
Sawyer and Laura stood by Lukas’s buggy in Emma and Adam’s driveway. Emma’s cooking had been delicious, but the company had been subdued. Knowing Laura was leaving in the morning had put a damper on everything. Now, standing so close to her under the midnight-black sky, he could only focus on her. Two weeks seemed like an eternity. He frowned.
“What’s wrong?” Laura moved closer. There was still enough space between them that if anyone driving by saw them together, they wouldn’t suspect anything. But in the silvery moonlight that barely illuminated her beautiful face, Sawyer could see the love in her eyes, a love that reached his heart.
“Nothing,” he said softly.
“It’s not nothin’. You were quiet during supper. You didn’t eat much either, which isn’t normal for you.”
“I wasn’t very hungry.” He sighed and leaned against the buggy. He took her hand, rubbing his thumb across the back of it. “You’re leaving tomorrow. I can’t get excited about that.”
“You wanted me to geh.”
“I know. But you want to go too. You need to go.”
Laura nodded. “I’ll be back. Two weeks isn’t that long.”
“It is to me.”
“Sawyer, this isn’t like you. You believe me, don’t you?”
“Of course.” He continued to rub her hand. “Besides, if you don’t come home, I’ll go to Tennessee and bring you back myself.”
Laura let out a soft giggle, but her laughter faded quickly. She released Sawyer’s hand. “There’s somethin’ else, isn’t there? Somethin’ that doesn’t have to do with me leavin’.”
He took a deep breath and stepped away from her. “Cora’s here.”
Her delicate blond eyebrows arched. “When did she arrive?”
“This afternoon.” He chuckled. “Lukas and I found her asleep on the porch swing in the backyard, if you can believe that.”
“That must have been a sight.” Laura grinned. “This is gut news, ya? You don’t have to geh to New York now. You were dreadin’ that trip.”
“I’m dreading talking to her. Here or in New York, it doesn’t matter.”
“Sawyer, she’s your grandmother—”
“And she wants to rule my life.”
Laura paused. “She is a little forceful.”
“A little?” Sawyer shook his head. “I know exactly what she wants. She wants me to move back to New York. To live like her.”
“Then she doesn’t know you decided to join the church?”
“Not yet. But it shouldn’t come as a surprise.” Although he figured it probably would. Cora Easley was used to snapping her fingers to make things happen. To make them go her way.
But not this time. He was following God’s lead. And his heart.
He took Laura’s hand again. “I don’t want to talk about my grandmother.” Sawyer led her to the barn. In the distance he could hear the barking of the dogs in Emma Otto’s new shelter on the other side of the house. The shelter replaced her grandfather’s old workshop, which had burned down in the fire Mark King had started, the fire that had almost taken Laura’s life.
Since rebuilding and turning the building into a dog shelter, Emma had fostered several stray and abandoned dogs until she could find places for them to live. She and Adam had taken what Mark destroyed, and from the ashes had risen something compassionate and worthwhile.
“What are you doing?” Laura asked as he took her to the back side of the building.
“This.” He cupped her face in his hands, the ribbons of her kapp touching his fingers. He kissed her, gently, but longer than he’d ever kissed her before. When he finally pulled away, he brushed the back of his hand against her scarred cheek, feeling the heat of her skin. He expected her to pull away, to protest halfheartedly, the way she usually did when he sneaked a kiss. Instead she sighed and leaned against him. He shuddered as he wrapped his arms around her slim body.
“That has to last two weeks?” He leaned his cheek against the top of her kapp.
They didn’t say anything for a long time, just held on to each other. Before he was ready to let her go, she said, “It’s gettin’ late, Sawyer.”
“I know.” He held on to her.
“I have to geh inside. I’m catchin’ the early bus in the mornin’.”
“You sure you don’t want me to take you?”
She shook her head. “I already arranged for a taxi. Besides, I can’t take sayin’ good-bye twice.” She touched his clean-shaven cheek, her fingers light, making his skin tingle. “Don’t be too hard on your grandmother while I’m gone. She does love you, in her own way.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because you’re so lovable.” She kissed the tip of his nose. She pulled out of his embrace and walked toward the house.
“Two weeks, Laura.”
She nodded, giving him one last long look before disappearing from his sight.
He exhaled. This was going to be the longest two weeks of his life.
Johnny dragged himself upstairs to his bedroom. He had hoped to stop by Katherine’s today and return her bag, but he spent most of the day fixing a pipe under the sink, which had suddenly burst that morning. He wasn’t much of a plumber, but he managed to turn off the water, go to town and talk to a guy at the local plumbing supply shop, then come back and give the pipe a quick fix. He’d even asked for a job there, but like everywhere else he’d tried, they weren’t hiring.
He went back home and repaired the pipe, but not as fast as he hoped. The whole process took up most of the day—precious time he didn’t have. He’d rather be repairing the barn or stripping the old paint off the decrepit back deck than dealing with a plumbing problem. But the guy at the shop assured him the section of pipe should hold for at least a couple of weeks, until he could get around to replacing the entire line.
Enough time for the Wagners to decide to invest in his farm or not. If they did, he could afford a professional plumbing job.
If they didn’t—
He shook his head and collapsed on the bed. Katherine’s bag lay on top of the dresser—tempting him, mocking him. He had brought it upstairs last night, feeling responsible for keeping it safe. As if someone would break into this shack and steal an old patchwork bag.
The thought was ridiculous, but so was his real reason for keeping the bag in his room: it gave him a little piece of Katherine close by.
Johnny shut his eyes. Maybe his sister was right, along with everyone else. He was being dumm. If Katie couldn’t accept him at his worst, then that wouldn’t bode well for their marriage—if they got married. After the other day he wouldn’t be surprised if she told him to take a flying leap into a swampy pond. Actually, even before the Wagners, it wouldn’t have been a shock if she rejected him.
For years he hadn’t been able t
o imagine himself with her. Yet in the past year, he couldn’t stand to think about life without her. And he had assumed she’d wait for him, just like Mary Beth said.
But what if she didn’t? What if she found someone else? Or what if she just plain didn’t want him anymore?
He sat up in bed. Maybe that’s what was holding him back. Not the farm or being independent or not being good enough for Katherine Yoder. He was afraid she’d say no. And after all this time, after everything that had—and hadn’t—happened between them, she would have a right to.
Johnny shot out of bed and paced. He tried to clear his mind, tried to pray. Are you telling me something, God? Have you been telling me that all along and I’ve been too knuckleheaded to hear?
He stopped in front of his bedroom window. Looked out at the stars winking in the night sky. God didn’t need to tell him anything. Johnny had always known the truth. When it came to Katherine, he was a coward. And it was time he did something about it.
He moved away from the window. Yanked off his shirt and tossed it on the floor. Walked over to his dresser and touched her bag.
He’d give this back to her tomorrow.
And he would give her something else too. The truth.
Which she had deserved all along.
CHAPTER 12
Katherine rubbed the back of her neck and stared down at the book on her lap. Pain shot through her skull, and she couldn’t concentrate on the words. Today the aspirin hadn’t touched it.
She’d had headaches before, but not one that lasted this long, or was this painful. The thought occurred to her that perhaps she should go to the doctor, but she didn’t want to waste a trip for a simple headache. Still, she might have to if the headache didn’t go away.
She lifted her book, studying the quilt patterns on the page. She had picked it up from the library and was fascinated not only by the bright, vibrant colors but by the intricate stitching. There were some Amish quilts featured, but other quilts and patterns from around the world were included as well. She was particularly intrigued with the Hawaiian quilts—rich, bold patterns appliquéd on a large piece of fabric, with the quilting stitches following the contour of the design. She would never make one of these herself, but she did admire the artistry and skill of the quilters.
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