Mad Money Murder

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Mad Money Murder Page 21

by Leslie Langtry


  But now I needed to get the door open. That was my priority. My troop was waiting for me. And I didn't like disappointing my troop.

  The box began to move, so I grabbed a book and put it on top. Then I felt bad, so I took a pen and punched a few air holes in the sides. This was a stupid way to try to kill me. Unlike the frog, who could jump on me at any moment, a scorpion skittered slowly across the surface. I could easily step on it or drop something on it.

  I felt the door. It wasn't cinderblock like the walls. Funny, it looked like that from the outside. Obviously, Aunt June had wanted people to see nothing there but a cement wall with a stain. But this was just plaster.

  I picked up the chair closest to me and began slamming it against the wall as hard as possible. It started to make a dent in the plaster. I pretended that this was my attacker from last night and kept hitting the wall, over and over, until I had made a hole I could crawl through.

  The only thing I had to worry about was if he'd remained in the house. I pulled out my cell. I had service now. I called Rex.

  "Hey, babe! I'm on my way back. I've got some really interesting news."

  "He tried to kill me again," I interrupted.

  Rex's voice changed to something more urgent. "Are you alright?"

  "I'm fine. I can certainly outrun a scorpion." I explained everything to him.

  "I can be there in a few minutes," Rex said. I could hear his tires squealing in the background. "Stay in the basement until I get there."

  No problem. I texted Kelly, who said they were getting ready to head over. I told her to keep the girls in the van until Rex arrived.

  A few minutes later, I heard a siren. Then the front door opened.

  "Mrs. Ferguson?" Ted Carnack's voice came from upstairs.

  "Down here!" I shouted.

  "It's alright, Merry," Rex shouted down. "You can come up now."

  I joined the two men in the foyer. The sheriff was searching the house as Rex pulled me into his arms. When we heard the sheriff returning, we pulled apart. Nancy Drew can't be seen cowering in Ned Nickerson's arms, now can she?

  "All clear," the sheriff's voice rang out.

  A few seconds later, he joined us on the ground floor as Kelly and the girls ran in.

  "I didn't see anyone," the sheriff said. "Are you sure it happened the way you said?"

  "Yes," I said through clenched teeth.

  I showed everyone downstairs and even pointed at the box through the hole in the wall. It wasn't moving.

  "Sorry," I said to Kelly. "I was going to use that box to pack up the china for you."

  "I don't see any evidence down here," Sheriff Ted grumped. "I guess it could be someone from out of town. Spotted the only nice house in town and decided to try to rob it."

  I studied the man for a moment before speaking. Over in the corner, Betty was doing the same. Good girl.

  "I'm fine. Thanks for coming, Sheriff. Kelly, can you see him out?"

  The sheriff looked me in the eyes. "I told you that you investigating doesn't fly here." And then he followed my best friend up the stairs. Betty followed him with a machete behind her back.

  I didn't even try to disarm her.

  Rex looked through the hole and whistled. "I think Riley must be wrong. Aunt June had to be CIA."

  Wheels started turning behind my eyes. Puzzle pieces started fitting together. There were just a few things I couldn't figure out.

  Back upstairs, Rex helped Kelly pack up the china. The girls were allowed to pick one thing from the house that they wanted. Noon came and went, and we just grazed on what we had in the kitchen.

  Betty started talking about last night. I interrupted and told the girls about the attempt with the frog and now the scorpion.

  "That's three attempts on your life!" Kelly cried out.

  "No one tries to kill our leader and gets away with it!" Betty smacked her fist into her palm.

  "Thank you," I said. "And thanks for last night too."

  Ava lamented, "If Mrs. Wrath wasn't around, then who would let us get away with all the bad stuff we aren't supposed to do?"

  Lauren nodded. "And we wouldn't have her credit card."

  This discussion had taken a turn. "Wait, what? What bad stuff do I let you get away with?"

  The girls looked at Rex.

  "I think I'll go and get something from my car," he said.

  The coward.

  "If no one was mean to Mrs. Wrath," Inez said, "we wouldn't have anyone's life to save over, and over, and over…"

  I shook my head. "Hey! You haven't saved my life that many times."

  "We need Mrs. Wrath," Kaitlyn said. "Who else has things like chloroform wipes and crayons that shoot lasers…"

  "We could never find another leader like that," Ava agreed.

  Kelly watched the whole thing with both hands covering her mouth. She found it hysterical.

  Kaitlyn piped up, "And if we did get a smarter leader, Betty's magic tricks wouldn't be as much fun."

  "Another leader would figure them out," added Ava.

  Lauren continued, "And ground Betty or put her in the clink."

  "What's the clink?" Inez asked.

  Lauren thought about this for a moment. "I think it's a room with a machine that goes clink all the time."

  "It's a jail," I said. "What was that about someone smarter than me? I'm smart. You can't be a spy in the CIA and not be smart. And you definitely can't be in a Girl Scout troop if you aren't smart."

  The girls ignored me. "We could get a robot!" Ava declared.

  This was met with a resounding cheer.

  Betty was interested. "The robot could do anything we programmed it to!"

  Kaitlyn slumped. "But then we'd have to build the robot."

  This dampened the mood a bit.

  "You cannot replace me with a robot me," I insisted.

  "We've already decided that." Inez turned to the others. "See? Slow on the uptake."

  "What does that mean?" Kaitlyn asked.

  Inez shrugged. "No idea, but Mommy says that about Daddy all the time, so it must be bad. She never says anything good about him."

  Betty clapped her hands. "Okay, so we're in agreement. If anyone kills Mrs. Wrath, we find a smarter leader or a robot."

  I cleared my throat. "Do I have any say in this?"

  The girls looked at me as if seeing me for the first time. I had to wonder if they talked this way about me all the time.

  Ava said, "She does have cool green hair, though."

  "And Philby is awesome!" Kaitlyn gushed.

  Betty added, "She has let us throw knives. And she has a friend who's an assassin…"

  "…who isn't an assassin," Lauren corrected.

  They were talking about my friend Hilly, who worked in black ops for the Agency. She is an assassin, but the CIA doesn't have assassins because that would be illegal, even if it's true. It's a lot to get your head around. I gave up trying long ago.

  "I suppose we could keep her longer," Kaitlyn said.

  Betty narrowed her eyes at me. "We have no choice. She knows things about us."

  "Well, I'm glad I'm of some use as a potential blackmailer," I grumbled.

  "We don't want to get rid of you," Inez insisted. "We are just figuring out what to do if you die."

  "It's good to have a succession plan in place," Ava said.

  I sighed. "Well, I hate to disappoint you, but I don't plan to die anytime soon."

  "Right! Because we're gonna catch the attempted killer!" Inez shouted.

  "How do you plan to do that?" Kelly fought to get the words out between laughter.

  "Ask the aliens of course!" She put a hand to the side of her mouth and whispered, "Because they are everywhere and can read your thoughts."

  "Okay, girls." I raised my hands. "Did you each find some memento to take home?"

  "It's all been decided," Ava said. "I get the scorpion. Betty gets the assassin caterpillar. Lauren wants the cute killer frog. Kaitlyn and Inez are stil
l trying to decide about which spiders they want…"

  "Nope." I shut it down. "You can only pick out something that isn't living or dangerous."

  The girls groaned and tromped out of the room.

  Rex came in. "I didn't tell you what I found out."

  I slapped my forehead. "That's right! I'm sorry. I was too busy in a flame war with my attacker downstairs."

  "The last florist admitted that he was a friend of Basil's," he began. "But he refused to tell me anything about any of his clients." He pulled a small bag from his back pocket. "The jewels are real, but they aren't as valuable as you'd think."

  I took the bag from him and held it in my hands. Maybe they'd still stick to Aunt June's urn. We went over to the fireplace, and I sat on the floor, trying to stick the jewels back on as Rex continued.

  "And the museum said that the soil samples were interesting. They'd called the University of Iowa's geology department, and they—" He paused dramatically.

  I looked up from what I was doing. "And?"

  "Had sent Aunt June a letter before she died. She never responded."

  The letter! I'd shoved it into my back pocket when I came into the house. I pulled it out and tore it open. Rex blanched a little that I hadn't taken precautions, but when no anthrax spilled out, he joined me on the floor. We read it together.

  Another piece of the puzzle clicked into place.

  "Come on, Aunt June." I started to get to my feet. "We should take you somewhere where Betty won't…"

  I didn't finish my sentence. Something was sticking out of the fireplace grate, behind a pile of logs. I reached back and pulled out a bundle of letters tied with a blue bow—all addressed to Aunt June. There was no return address, just the drawing of a red heart.

  Rex took one of the letters, and we read it together in silence.

  "What do you think that means?" he wondered.

  I smiled. "It means that now I know everything. Come on. We have a little planning to do before tomorrow."

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  It seemed like half the town was sitting in Aunt June's…well, my parlor the next morning. The three Hickenlooper brothers, Sheriff Carnack and his assistant Jared, Coroner Pete Oroner, postmaster and tooth curator Virgil Jacobsen, Fancy Nancy and Murl, Dr. Morgan, and Tommy Maplethorpe from the funeral home.

  I had inadvertently shut down most of Behold, Iowa.

  Rex, Kelly, and the girls stood beside me. Betty pulled out a baseball bat and began parading up and down in front of everyone.

  "We know what you did," the child said calmly, smacking the bat into her hand. "And now you're in trouble!"

  Basil grinned while Hal gave her the thumbs-up. Nobody else seemed amused.

  Betty took a dramatic stance and said, "'A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms, enthusiasms… What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball!'"

  "Betty," I warned.

  The girl had a habit of regaling us with blood-curdling speeches from movies like Patton. This one, I recalled, was from The Untouchables, where Al Capone beats a man with a bat.

  She held up one finger to shush me.

  "How do you know what enthusiasms means?" Kaitlyn asked.

  "I looked it up." Betty continued, "'A man stands alone at the plate…'"

  I grabbed the bat and the kid, pulling her back to me. "Nope. Not acting that out."

  "Why not?" she asked.

  Kelly shook her head. "I can't believe your parents let you watch that!"

  Betty sighed. "Well, I didn't. Not really. Bart told on me, and they turned it off before I could see what happened. Then he explained it. It's much scarier without seeing it."

  "Just stand by Kelly, please," I said.

  Betty shook her head.

  I gave up. "You can still smack the bat into your palm, but you're not going to use it."

  "That's fair," she said as she went back to doing that.

  "Betty's kind of scary," Rex whispered into my ear.

  "You have no idea," I whispered back.

  Kelly stood by with her hand on Betty's shoulder, but Betty insisted on glaring menacingly at the group assembled. The idiots. They didn't know how scared they should've been. Earlier we had to shut down her idea of poofing around the room next to suspects and accusing them of murder. Seemed a little too dramatic. Like Rex said he thought doing this assembly was.

  "Why are we here?" Nancy grumbled. "We have the lunch crowd coming soon."

  "The lunch crowd is already here," I said. My stomach rumbled. Maybe when this was all over, I'd treat my crew to one last meal at Fancy Nancy's. "This won't take too long."

  Sheriff Carnack scowled and pointed at me. "Look here, Mrs. Ferguson. This crap might fly with my cousin, but it doesn't fly here. If you have information, you need to share it with the authorities—not stage some sort of drama."

  He nudged Jared, who nodded but looked terrified of something. Maybe it was Betty.

  Rex stepped forward and, in a firm but calm voice, said, "My wife has something to say. Please give her your full attention, Sheriff."

  Carnack turned red but gave an almost imperceptible nod. He wasn't going to stand up to Rex, probably because he was a man. I hated that. And if I didn't already have a long monologue to give, I'd have told him so.

  "Is all of this really necessary?" Nigel droned on in his bored, posh accent. "We are well aware that Aunt June's death was an accident. All I need to know from you is whether or not you are going to accept my client's offer for this house."

  "I just need ten minutes of your time." I held my hands up in front of me. "Then I'll give you my answer."

  "Sounds fair," Hal said as he frowned at his brother. "I'd like to know what happened. It didn't seem like Aunt June would have an accident like that."

  I agreed. "Thank you, Hal."

  The doorbell rang, and Kelly disappeared to answer it. Sheriff Ed Carnack followed her into the room carrying a small briefcase. Everyone from Behold was stunned to see a carbon copy of their sheriff in the same room.

  "Ed?" Sheriff Ted said after a beat. "What are you doing here?"

  "Ted." Ed nodded to his cousin before turning to me. "Sorry I'm late, Merry." For a split second, he froze as he spotted my green and white hair. Then he acted like nothing was out of the ordinary. Good man.

  "You're not late," I replied. "We're just getting started."

  Ed sat down next to Ted. Jared lost the ability to close his mouth.

  "You have a twin, Sheriff?" Basil asked.

  "Who's also a sheriff, Sheriff?" Nancy added.

  Ted regained his composure. "This is my cousin, Ed. He's sheriff back home where Mrs. Ferguson lives."

  Basil smirked. "So you were talking about your cousin when you said Merry walks all over the sheriff back home?"

  Ted turned beet red as Ed arched his right eyebrow but said nothing.

  "I invited Sheriff Ed Carnack here," I explained. "You'll see why in a moment."

  "Proceed, please, Mrs. Ferguson," my sheriff said with a wink.

  "Okay." I clapped my hands together. "I've called you all here because we"—I motioned to Rex, Kelly, and the girls—"have figured out that Aunt June was murdered."

  The audible gasp I'd hoped for did not come, but I wasn't too sure I was surprised by that reaction. I continued.

  "This was a very confusing case from the start. I received Aunt June's remains with a note from her asking me to investigate her murder."

  "Because she could time travel," Lauren said. The other four girls nodded.

  I went on. "I was confused initially because who can predict their future death will be murder? And when I got here to Behold and discovered how quirky Aunt June was and that her death had been ruled accidental from a spider bite, I thought that maybe you guys were right.

  "Dr. Morgan told me that he had been at the scene and that he'd concluded cause of death was a bite. Coroner Oroner said the same thing, even insistin
g that the brown recluse who did it was found dead on arrival. Sheriff Carnack showed me the spider. And it made sense. Anyone who played around with such lethal bugs could die accidentally by them.

  "But then I found that her brown recluse was still in its enclosure. That threw me a little. Except for the fact that that particular spider is native to the area. It wouldn't be a stretch of the imagination to think she'd disturbed one somehow, and it had bitten her.

  "And these officials said they had found puncture wounds consistent with a spider bite. But with Aunt June having been cremated, it was impossible to corroborate their findings. There were crime scene photos, but I didn't have access to them."

  I nodded at Ed, who pulled a file out of his briefcase and handed it to me.

  "Fortunately, the sheriff, who I walk all over, could access these files."

  Sheriff Ted began to sputter, "You can't do that! That's classified!"

  "Why not?" his cousin said calmly. "It was ruled an accidental death. I contacted your protégé here." He pointed to Jared, who was turning a disturbing shade of green. "And told him it was germane to an investigation back home. As a professional courtesy, he sent me the photos." Ed opened the file and held up a large photo showing two tiny puncture wounds.

  I said, "It was seeing the giant tooth and something Virgil said about bite marks and crime that put two and two together for me."

  "I don't know about that, but what else could that photo prove," Dr. Morgan asked, "except that she had spider bite marks?"

  "It proves that she wasn't bitten by a brown recluse," I said simply. "I did a little research and discovered that the bite of a brown recluse turns into a swollen, bruised wound." I held up a graphic image that Betty had pulled off the internet.

  The crowd made gagging sounds. I have to admit their reaction was a bit more theatrical than I liked, but the photo was super gross, which is why I won't describe it here. You'll just have to trust me on this.

  The girls loved it. Betty had taped it up next to her bunk. Because little girls are ghouls.

  "Now I'd assumed that a retired doctor living in this area would realize that it wasn't a spider bite. And I'd also assumed that a coroner, with absolutely no medical experience…"

  Pete sniffed. "I do too. Two years of dental transcription training is medical experience."

 

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