Jesse’s attention shifted to the arena when the M.C. announced the next event: bull riding. At least I knew the official term for it.
“Don’t you compete?” I asked while Jesse watched the arena.
“I used to. Up until I was ten or eleven, I competed in team calf roping.”
Judging that the term “bull riding” perfectly described the event taking place, I made an educated guess on what calf roping entailed.
“Why did you quit?” I guessed there was some tragic reason behind it. One he probably wouldn’t open up about.
“I didn’t quit, Rowen,” he replied as his eyes latched back onto mine. “It’s what I do every single day. I just don’t need some shiny belt buckle to prove I can rope a calf from twenty yards.”
I peaked an eyebrow. “My . . . Either you’re rather full of your calf roping abilities or you’re really just that good. Which one is it?”
“I’m all right,” he said with a small shrug.
“Which means you’re the best there is,” I said under my breath.
His smile pulled higher. “The point is, even if I wanted to rodeo, there isn’t time for it, and at the end of each day, I feel like I’ve competed in my own personal rodeo. It’s not as novel when it’s your life.”
“So why are you here?”
“Because in case you haven’t noticed, there’s not a whole heck of a lot to do around here,” he said, counting the reasons off on his fingers. “Two, because rodeo night is like a family reunion. You don’t miss it unless you want everyone else talking about you. And three . . . I had to swoop in and save the day in case Garth Black forgot to leave that ticket he promised you.”
My eyes narrowed a bit at him. I wasn’t sure if it was because of his number three, or if because I knew number four was that posse of pretty girls still batting their eyes at him from ten rows back.
“Why don’t you like Garth?” I asked, wanting to get to the bottom of it.
Jesse’s shoulders rose and fell slowly. Then those eyes of his flashed with something I couldn’t make out. Whatever it was made me shift in my seat though. “Why do you?”
Answering a question with a question was a familiar defense mechanism. I was its number one fan. “I’m not sure I do yet.”
Jesse’s whole body visibly relaxed. “That’s good, Rowen, and I know I’m probably the last person you want to believe when it comes to Garth, but you should steer clear of him. Really. I wouldn’t tell you that if I didn’t mean it.”
Jesse’s voice and expression held so much sincerity. I didn’t doubt what he said was what he believed, but I wasn’t so sure he was in a position to warn me off guys that were no good for me. I knew what was no good for me, and I was staring at him.
“Says the guy who asked me out and winds up having a girlfriend.” That I didn’t say under my breath.
His eyes didn’t leave mine. “And if you would have given me two minutes to explain everything to you, like I tried a hundred times this past week, you’d be feeling pretty silly making that accusation right about now.”
“The only reason I’d feel silly is because I almost said yes to you.” Those words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.
Jesse’s eyes widened. “Wait. You were?” His forehead lined. “You were going to say yes?”
“No!” I snapped, my voice an octave too high. He gave me a look and waited. “No, I wasn’t.” His look got more pronounced. “I don’t know. And now we’ll never know, so it doesn’t matter anyways.”
“It matters to me.” His voice was soft and almost silent.
Why was I having this conversation? I avoided those kinds of heart-to-hearts the way I steered clear of baby pink in my wardrobe.
“If you don’t drop the whole girlfriend, date, did-I-didn’t-I conversation right now,” I lifted a finger and leveled him with my own look, “I will hop up in my seat and scream ‘OBAMA RULES’ at the top of my lungs.”
That got Jesse’s attention. As it should have. I didn’t need to see the voting cards of the thousands in attendance to know I’d be strung up and left for dead for saying something like that.
There was so much red in the room I could barely breathe.
“You’re funny, Rowen. You know that?” was Jesse’s amused reply. “And by the way, I voted for Obama. I would have the first time, too, if I was old enough to vote.”
I rolled my eyes. Of course he did. The red-blooded cowboy through and through voted for the blue as blue can be Democratic president. The ironies just never ended in Nowhere, Montana.
“You’re such a dichotomy, Jesse Walker.” I tapped the front of his hat so it covered his eyes.
“Whoa. Was that just a ‘dichotomy’ you just dropped on me?” The hat still covered the top half of his face, but his smile and those damn dimples were visible. “How can a girl who supposedly barely passed high school drop vocab like that and think she’s got us all fooled?”
I hated having him next to me as much as I loved it. As far as my relationship with Jesse went, that was pretty much par for course. “You know, you hovering in the middle of the aisle is creating a fire hazard.” Since it didn’t look like he would do it, I tilted his hat back into place. His eyes were just as amused as the rest of his face. “So why don’t you get back to your harem and leave me alone?”
“Nah. They’re good without me,” he said, glancing back at his empty seat. “And I’ve left you alone enough this week.” His voice was full of intention. He’d left me alone, somewhat, like I’d asked, but apparently he was done with “alone time.”
I groaned and tried to elbow him. He dodged it easily and chuckled. “How did you get here?” he asked, thankfully shifting the conversation back into the acceptable range.
“Would you believe me if I told you I hijacked your horse?”
“Nope. No, I wouldn’t,” he said. “Sunny only lets me ride him. Not once in ten years has he let another soul on his back.”
“Your horse must be partial to the depraved,” I muttered.
“Maybe. But then he would have let you hijack him like you mentioned.”
“I took Old Bessie.” I focused on the arena so he wouldn’t see my smile.
“Ha! I’d believe you charmed Sunny before you climbed into Old Bessie—willingly—and drove her here.”
I couldn’t slip a single thing past Jesse. “I walked.”
“Sure you did.”
I lifted my eyebrows.
“What? Really? You walked?” he said in disbelief. “It’s, like, five miles from Willow Springs to the fairground.”
I lifted a shoulder.
“You walked?” he repeated again, like it was inconceivable.
“Yes, I walked. You know, one foot in front of the other? Arms swinging gently at the sides?” I said dryly. “I’ve been doing it for a while now. Almost seventeen years. I’m pretty good at it.”
“I sure have missed that attitude of yours this week,” he said in such a way I wasn’t sure if he was being a smartass or serious.
Before I could reply with my own smartass comment, a gate inside the arena flew open and a bull the size of a tank busted out of it. As if that wasn’t frightening enough, a guy was on top of it holding on to the bucking and twisting animal with only one hand. I’d thought the sport was insane based on the name alone, but watching it in real life, I thought insane was thoroughly inadequate.
“What the hell is this?” I asked, utterly stunned.
It didn’t seem possible a creature that stocky and large could move and jump the way it was. Something having to do with the laws of gravity. How the dude on top could stay upright seemed like yet another slap in the face of physics.
“Some people call it bull riding. Other people call it a death wish,” Jesse replied as a buzzer went off. The guy on top of the bull leapt off and tumbled to the ground. A couple of guys dressed like clowns clapped and moved to get the bull’s attention while the rider righted himself and sprinted for the exit.
“Have you ever done that?” I asked, still in shock. I didn’t know what I’d just seen, but I’d never forget it.
“Nope. I’m one of those crazy people that likes the use of all their body parts.”
“After just watching that, you are not the crazy one.” Another guy was getting ready at the gates, but I couldn’t watch another ride yet. Garth wasn’t up, so I looked back at Jesse. He was back to smiling at me.
I gave up and smiled right back. It was that infectious.
When I caught sight of the person who’d stopped behind him, my smile died on the spot.
She was even prettier up close.
“Hey, Jess, I’m heading out,” the drop-dead girl from ten rows back said, resting her hand on his shoulder. Then she smiled at me, and as much as I wanted to dislike her because she had her hand on him and had a special nickname for him, I couldn’t. Girls didn’t normally smile warmly at me. Girls didn’t even smile coolly at me.
“Oh, okay,” he said, rising. “Are the rest of the girls taking off with you?”
“No, they’re going to hang out and see about either getting your attention back or some other poor, unsuspecting cowboys’.”
“Sounds terrifying,” Jesse replied. “Thanks for the heads up.”
“So,” the girl said, looking between Jesse and me, “are you going to introduce us anytime soon, or have you forgotten your manners altogether?”
Jesse’s forehead creased. “Uh, yeah. Sorry. This is Rowen. She’s—”
“Helping out at Willow Springs,” the girl finished as she continued to smile at me. “I’ve already heard a lot about you. It’s nice to finally meet you, Rowen.”
I didn’t know who’d been talking about me or what had been said, but it made me nervous that the girl with a sweet smile had already “heard a lot about me.” In the past, whenever anyone had heard anything about me . . . Let’s just say it wasn’t for being on the honor roll.
However, I did my best to think positive. “Thanks. It’s nice to meet you . . .” I stared at Jesse and waited, but he looked like he’d suddenly been struck mute. Finally, I elbowed him and gave him an anytime today look.
“Rowen,” he said, before clearing his throat, “this is Josie.”
Of course she was.
Jesse couldn’t have looked more uncomfortable if he’d wanted to. I don’t think I could have felt any more awkward. And I don’t think Josie could have looked more oblivious.
So what did I do when the girlfriend of the guy I liked smiled at me like she didn’t know me from Adam?
I kept my smile plastered in place and glued my hands to the armrests so they wouldn’t misbehave. “Nice to meet you, Josie.” I sounded as contrived as I’d feared I would.
“You know, if you’re ever looking for some place to escape to, my parents’ place isn’t all that far from Willow Springs,” Josie said. “You could come hang out anytime.”
Just what I wanted to do: hang out with Jesse’s girlfriend. As friendly as she was being to me, I knew she didn’t have a clue about the thing between Jesse and me. No girl could be that gracious to the girl who’d almost become “the other woman.” No girl could smile at the girl who had a thing for her boyfriend. Whatever that “thing” was, I didn’t know, but it was most certainly a thing. A serious thing.
A serious thing I was trying to eviscerate.
“Thanks, Josie. That sounds great, but the Walkers keep me pretty busy.” In the body and the head. When I wasn’t up to my elbows in scrambled eggs, my mind scrambled about over two boys.
“I can imagine. But if you do ever find yourself with nothing to do on a free night, give me a ring.” She shoved at Jesse lightly. “This guy’s got my number.”
Yeah, I figured that.
Jesse stayed silent the entire time Josie and I chatted. In fact, he was so still he could have been a statue. It wasn’t quite the caught-with-my-pants-around-my-ankles expression I’d seen a few too many times, but it was close. Jesse knew he was treading on thin ice with his girlfriend and the mistress-that-could-have-been talking it up like old friends.
“I’m out of here before it turns into a blood bath out there.” Josie gave an exaggerated shudder at the arena where the last rider had just been thrown a good ten feet from the bull. He’d landed in a way that wasn’t natural. “Nice to meet you, Rowen.”
I nodded and reminded myself to be nice before replying, “You too, Josie.”
She nudged Jesse again—the girl really liked nudging him. Not that I could blame her. What I’d felt of Jesse’s body, I’d want to nudge up on it, too. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
Naked in bed later.
“Are you by yourself?” Jesse spoke up finally.
“I came with a couple of the girls, but like I said, they wanted to stay and hang.”
“Let me walk you to your truck,” he said. “I don’t want you in a dark parking lot by yourself.”
Josie beamed. I’m talking full on I-just-won-the-sash-and-crown beaming. “That would be nice.” She waved at me as she continued on down the steps.
“Are you going to be here when I get back?” Jesse asked me, not quite able to look me in the eyes.
Guessing that whole, smooth “I’ll walk you to your truck” routine was so he could have a quick roll in the bed of it with her, I slouched down in my seat and looked away. “Probably not.”
I felt Jesse’s eyes on me, studying me, and then he sighed. “Okay, we’ll talk later. But if I don’t catch up with you first, make sure you find my parents for a ride home. Do not, and I repeat, do not walk home alone. Not safe and not smart. Okay?”
I rolled my eyes. Romeo had a Juliet waiting for him a few stairs down. “Bye-bye, Jesse.” I flicked a wave at him and hoped he’d take the message that I was done talking.
After a few more seconds, he did take that message. I couldn’t help it. My eyes shifted back to him as he lumbered down the rest of the stairs toward another girl.
I needed something to get my mind off of Jesse. I needed to forget about the way he made me feel. I needed to forget the way he’d just followed after his girlfriend, his female equal. Not just in the looks department, but in the everything-else department.
I didn’t have the looks, the friendly aura, the sweet smile, and I sure as hell didn’t have the not-a-care-in-the-world outlook. In fact, what Jesse and Josie were, I was the opposite. I doubted I could get any more opposite if I tried.
I needed something to make me forget.
Or someone.
Lucky for me, I caught sight of Garth’s black felt hat bouncing above the gate. Sitting on top of one of those bulls.
My stomach barely had time to drop before the gate swung open, and out charged, I kid you not, the biggest bull of them all. He was the Zeus of the bulls, and dammit if he wasn’t out there proving it.
Garth’s body bounced and flailed about like a rag doll’s as Zeus kicked his back legs a few times before spinning. The bull had barely made a full revolution before Garth flew off. Well, it was more like ejecting. Everything about it was violent: the way his arms and legs grabbed at the air, the way his face looked, and the way his body slammed into the dirt. Nothing about this sport wasn’t brutal. Gentle was checked at the gates.
The bull stopped spinning as soon as Garth had been bucked off. He stood for a minute, his entire body heaving, as he and Garth seemed to have some kind of stare down. Just when I couldn’t decide who would be the first to charge, those crazy-ass clowns intervened and got the bull moving toward the open gate at the end of the arena.
The crowd applauded when Garth stood, but that only seemed to make him angrier. I’d seen plenty of shades of pissed, and Garth’s expression definitely made the top ten list. Stomping over to where his hat had landed, he dusted it off before settling it low onto his forehead.
Without
so much as a wave or even a look of acknowledgement into the crowd that was still clapping for him, Garth powered out of the dirt arena.
I’d known zilch about bull riding coming into the rodeo, but I’d picked up enough to know his ride hadn’t made it to the buzzer. I wasn’t sure if that meant he received a reduced score or no score, but either way, I knew he wouldn’t leave with a shiny, new belt buckle.
I knew what failing was like. If I was an expert at anything, it was failing. I wasn’t sure if Garth wanted to see anyone right away, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. I’d seen enough bull riding for one night, and I certainly didn’t want to be in that seat when Jesse came back with a flushed face and a satisfied smile. No, thank you.
I was out of my seat and down the stairs in a flash. I didn’t know exactly where he’d be, but I headed in the direction of a bunch of cowboy hats bobbing above the gate on the opposite side of the arena. I was pretty sure one of those black ones had to be his.
I got a few curious looks as I wove toward the pack of cowboys with numbers on their backs. Maybe I was heading into an “off limits” area, but since no one stopped me, I kept going.
Ducking under a rope, I headed for a familiar back. Sporting his signature color on everything from his boots to his chaps, his body was still rigid, but he had a beer in his hands. All had to be somewhat well in the universe.
There was a good-sized crowd around Garth, all about the same age and sipping on their own beers, likely commiserating the woes of bull riding, when I stopped a few feet behind him.
“I don’t know who looked more pissed off out there,” I said. “You or the bull.”
Garth twisted around. He had a serious scowl on his face. That was, until he took one look at me. His eyes skimmed up and down me once, then repeated. When his eyes finished on mine, they were ice. “This is a rodeo, sweetheart. Not the circus.” His voice was just as icy.
I flinched. At least on the inside. It took everything inside of me to keep from wincing on the outside. “Excuse me, Garth I-can’t-stay-on-a-bull-for-longer-than-two-seconds Black? And thanks for remembering to leave me a ticket, asshole.” I was about to spin away and get the hell out of there when a single chuckle rolled out of him.
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