She caught the flicker of the mounted lord's green eyes glancing her way. "Actually, Lucias had him defenestrated."
The count's grey brows nearly reached the top of his head. "Truly?" He swung to face Lucias and, at first, Clara thought Farris would demand an explanation. "I do hope he wasn't too much trouble for my lord to clean up."
Lucias bowed his head. "Nothing my servants couldn't handle."
Farris peered at him, seemingly considering enquiring further then deciding against it as he also lowered his head. "Well, we best be off. Long road to travel and all." The count rested a foot on the carriage step. "And you'd be best to bear in mind what I said, my lady," he called before disappearing into the gloom, the door closing behind him.
Clara watched the carriage and its armed escort trundle out onto the Road. The massive gates swung shut as they slipped from view. This is it. She was right back where she started. Alone with Lucias and his men.
Why did the thought no longer seem quite so bad? The world certainly held worse fates, which the Goddess could bestow upon her if she so wished. But this?
Clara glanced over her shoulder to find Lucias ascending the stairs, his hands clasped behind his back. A chance. It was all he claimed to want. A single chance to prove he could make her happy. My lord, you are a fool. He was to die soon, he should've been breeding like crazy. Had he not confessed to having no time for courtship? He would've wooed me. Was it not what he'd professed? Only the Goddess knew what he thought he was doing to her now. If he'd the months to spare. How many more days were left to him?
"Clara?"
She blinked, torn from her musing by his gentle voice.
Lucias had halted at the top of the stairs and was staring down at her, his brow furrowed.
Straightening her back and holding skirts high, she trotted up the steps. "You mentioned lunch?"
One corner of his mouth curved upwards. "I did, didn't I?" He took up her hand, tenderly pressing it to the crook of his elbow. "Let's see what the kitchen has to offer."
Chapter Twenty
The massive door swung open at a gentle push. Clara halted, mindful the next move she took could easily become her last.
Lucias had left her side upon reaching the kitchen to spend the rest of the day in the training grounds. She hadn't bothered him then and she felt embarrassed to be doing so now. Especially dressed in the little she wore.
No sword lashed out to greet her. She took it as a sign to be wary. Was Lucias expecting her? Had someone else besides Tommy seen her heading towards his chambers? She peered into the room.
Lucias stood by the fireplace, half-dressed and with his back to the door, leaning a hand on the mantle.
The twitch of his upraised arm was all he gave as she walked into to room. "What is it?" He tipped his head back to drink. Firelight glinted off the glass in his hand.
Trembling, she swallowed the sudden unease clogging her throat. She'd come this far. Now to take the final step. "I've made my decision."
He straightened as she spoke, finally turning to face her. His mouth dropped open, a question touching his lips. Nothing came out.
She could almost feel his gaze raking her body, taking in the dressing gown and nightdress she wore under it. The answer to his unasked question, and her intentions, could've been no more obvious than if she had come to him naked. She already felt as if she bared far too much.
Lucias set down his glass and strode to her side. "Are you certain of this?"
Her stomach quivered at the words. No, she wasn't certain. She could never be certain. What choice did she have? I could say no. However, if she told him the truth, then the kingdom would most definitely fall. Death. Chaos. Her once beloved home in ruins. All because of her pride. "I am." At least this way, she could give the kingdom a chance.
His hands ran over her shoulders, his fingers sliding beneath her dressing gown. His touch warm against skin that had chilled during the trek from her chambers. "You know you can't go back once we have done this." The first layer between him and her slipped off to pool at their feet. The subtle chill of the room pricked at her bare arms. "She will hunt you forever if she gets wind."
Clara nodded, puzzled. She came to him, nearly naked, and he tried to dissuade her? Was this not what he'd wanted from the beginning?
She searched his face for something that would help her understand, at last catching the suspicious doubt lurking within his deep brown eyes. "Anyone would think you had changed your mind." Her gaze dropped to the sword still belted around his waist. Should she dare try to remove it? Her fingers twitched then stilled. "Do you not tire of always needing a weapon at your side?" she asked, hoping to divert him from any more questions.
"Hmm?" Lucias followed her downward gaze and touched the heavy brass buckle. "To be honest, half the time I forget it's still on." His eyes lifted, narrowing at her as he sucked on his bottom lip. "If you are certain..." he whispered, his breath a shuddering rasp. "Come." Taking up her hands, he led her to the bed, where he seated them both on the edge. "Clara, I..." His fingers slid under her chin, softly coaxing her head upwards.
Her lips parting ever so slightly, she waited for what would come next. She'd never been kissed before. Kissing led to other things and her father had been far too protective of her to allow either to happen to his unwed daughter.
Sighing, Lucias pushed her back. "You're not ready for this. I can see it on your face."
She glanced away from his piercing gaze. Neither of them was wholly undressed and already her cheeks felt afire. "You've not the luxury of waiting until I am," she mumbled.
"Wh—"
Clara pressed a finger to his lips, stilling whatever words he wished to say. If she let him speak another word, then her resolve would waver. "You need to sire an heir." She leant against him, the bare skin under her touch warm. "The kingdom needs your child."
By the light of the fire, she saw his jaw tighten. "The kingdom."
"I can give you that babe."
His face darkened further. "So that's all this is about then?" He lunged forward with frightening speed, flattening her onto the bedcovers. A single hand wrapped about her wrists and pinned her arms above her head. "Yes, the kingdom needs my heir," he snarled. "Do you think it wouldn't be easy enough to get one? I could have forced the task upon you." Her nightgown slid up her legs, stopping as the hem reached her thighs. "I could've done the deed the first day you were here."
He jerked upright a little ways. The jingle of metal spoke of his belt unbuckling. A leg slipped between her knees, parting them with a gentle nudge.
The pounding of her heart filled her ears. She was well aware he could force her, whether through magic, as his father had done with Lenora, or through more mundane means. Like right now. He had settled firmly between her legs, his bare waist sitting just above her knees. It wouldn't take much for him to complete the deed. Rumour told her of how it was done. A few deep thrusts and... Rape is rape. His own words. She prayed he remembered them.
Lucias leant over her, a monstrous shadow framed by the firelight. "I don't think you quite understand how badly I've yearned for this, Clara, for you." Heat rolled off his bare skin. It burned through the thin cloth of her nightgown. "But is this what you want?" he breathed. "Do you truly want me to take you here and now? To fill you with my child?" His free hand caressed her cheek, sending a chill jolt through her gut. It pooled there, slowly growing warmer. "Do you want this?" He inched forward, pushing her legs further apart.
She shuddered, the sudden ache in her chest clashing with her fear. I don't know. A part of her screamed to say yes. Another part, spearheaded by the piece of her that still recalled the chill avoidance of her would-be rapist, just screamed. "I—" She tried to close her legs, a whimper escaping her lips as her knees met resistance in his strong, warm flesh.
Clara squirmed, trying to find purchase on the bed to haul herself free. Her shins scraped against the supple leather still encasing the thighs of another. Had he not...
But she'd heard a buckle and yet... He was still clothed!
"Shall I tell you what I don't want?" he muttered, the breath of his words hot in her ear. "Let's start with your pity. Do you think I want to be remembered like this?" He thrust his hips forward. Leather rubbed against her thighs and drew a trembling gasp from her lips. Shaking his head, he released her arms and stood back. "No," he murmured. "You will not offer yourself to me because you pity me."
Clara sat up, hastily brushing her nightgown back down. Clutching her knees to her chest, she watched as, his back to her, Lucias retrieved his sword and the belt it hung from. The only item he had removed. "Then what do you want?"
He straightened in silence. "What I can't have," he whispered, the words all but lost to the jingle of metal and the faint crackling of the fire. The glitter of an eye was all she saw as he glanced over his shoulder. "For you to come to me."
"But I did."
"Because you wanted to?" He swung to face her, stilling the lie forming on her tongue. "Or was this for the kingdom?" A sneer twisted his lips. "Do you think me a fool? That I wouldn't question this sudden change of heart?" Anguish warped his face. "The last thing I wanted was for you to wake in the morning and regret this action or—and may the Goddess flay me to death if I even considered it—think I took advantage of you." His fingers raked through his hair. "What difference did you think this night would've made with what is to happen anyway?"
"It might have saved the kingdom," she mumbled.
"It would've cost you your life." He leant over her, his hands resting on the mattress either side of her legs. "If she finds you without your virginity intact, it would mean your death even if you hadn't conceived. I'm out of time, Clara. It seems I was when they brought you here and there's little point in you dying alongside me."
He sighed, the heat of his breath dancing down her exposed cleavage. "I was going to tell you this in the morning, but you might as well hear it now. A plain carriage has been procured for your passage to Endlight. It should arrive in the next few hours and be prepared to leave at dawn. Who knows, maybe you'll catch up with the count's entourage. If you do see them on the way, give my apologies to Farris and Thad, although I'm sure the former won't understand."
"A carriage?" she parroted, barely able to grasp the one fact. Her vision blurred as she tried to focus on his shadowy figure. "Y-you're letting me go?" Not once had she believed he spoke the truth of letting her seek out her own path in the world. To Endlight? Any closer to the border's edge and she might as well be in another kingdom. "You're exiling me." Of course he would. Nowhere within this realm would be safe after his death.
"Not at all, although do I strongly advise you seek to leave the kingdom entirely." He stood up, his shoulders stiff and square. "Several kingdoms away would be more prudent. The area around Endlight is usually guarded by nomads, so the path through there should be the safest. If you take the western roads after crossing the border, you'll stand a better chance of evading the advancing troops. They should stick to the caravan trails, although I cannot guarantee it."
West? "But—" Where could she go after leaving the border city? In a plain carriage. Like those from the village? Riding in one of them, she could be mistaken as the daughter of some well-to-do merchant. Except... "Travelling beyond Endlight will put me under the eye of Ne'ermore."
Lucias sat beside her, slowly nodding. "The safest city in the world."
Her brow lifted. "Safe?" But, of course, the city had never been breached. In an unmarked carriage, bearing naught but herself as cargo, she could slip straight through the gates. "For anyone?"
"Everyone but me." His smile was small, almost apologetic. "You won't be taking the journey alone. Tommy and Gettie will be travelling with you and I've made sure you'll have enough money to settle wherever you wish."
"Gettie?" she echoed numbly. "Why would you send the Gutter of Neardim with us?" Would the woman not go mad like the others once released?
He shook his head and chuckled. "Did you never wonder about the men she'd earned her title on? About what they'd done to deserve it?"
"Not exactly." The old stories certainly didn't touch on the nature of the slain men beyond their gruesome deaths. Often, they were explained as hapless victims whose only crime was being in Gettie's path. "Weren't they merchants?"
"You could say they were." Lucias scrubbed at his chin, the dull scrape of fingers over unshaven skin loud in the chamber's tomb-like silence. "Although you could also say they ran a rather exclusive trade."
Clara frowned. Neardim was on the western border. There would've been a large number of skirmishes back when Gettie was young. Not like the wary peace they had now with the southern and western realms. However, such battles became an open market for slave traders. Their men would slay the kingdom's men and, in retaliation, the kingdom chose to imprison theirs. "They traded in prisoners? Wasn't it common along the borders?"
"Not prisoners. At least, not one's I'm aware of. They were a little more select."
"Women?" Such atrocities also weren't unheard of. Although reports of such happenings generally came from the east or the ports where women fought alongside their men.
"Closer." Silvery-blue light flashed in his eyes for a heartbeat. "They took children. More specifically, girls." His refined, and oddly handsome, jaw twitched. "From what I was told by my father, the men took Gettie's baby sister. I cannot say what exactly happened to the girl, but she..." He frowned and shook his head with a blustery sigh. "She died and, in seeking her vengeance, Gettie earned her unfortunate moniker. By the time the truth was discovered, my grandfather had already taken her soul and, once taken, it cannot be returned. I should know; I tried."
Sometimes innocent people get unjustly punished. Those were the words he'd spoken upon her asking about his soul-stealing power. He'd tried to right it and could not.
Clara thought back to the conversations the lord and servant had, to the way he treated the woman compared to the others. It'd been softer. Heavy with the knowledge she didn't belong here. Just like Tommy.
She could even see the reasoning in letting the old women travel with them. If he couldn't free her whilst he still lived, he would do so in death. And, should they happen across any sort of trouble on the way, Gettie could protect them.
Clara was no longer certain she wanted to leave. The last few days had shown her a side of Lucias she hadn't expected to find. Where she thought he threatened rape, he'd meant freedom. Come to him in her own time or leave with the new moon. Those had been her choices. There had never been any others. And when she'd found herself defenceless, in need of rescuing, he'd been there to save her. Little of her original assumptions of him were true.
"You should go." The doors parted without a sound as he stood. Her dressing gown rose from where it lay in a crumpled heap on the floor, drifting across the room to lay beside her.
Clara gathered it up and slowly wrapped the thin fabric around her shoulders. Even without looking up, she could feel him watching her dress. It was strangely exciting to know she was the sole focus of his attention. "So this is it, then?"
Lucias gave a stiff nod.
This is how he says goodbye? She finished tying the front of the dressing gown shut and drew herself up. "Will I see you in the morning before I depart?" Regardless of how he felt on the matter, she didn't want them to part this way.
He pulled away from her, his shoulders hunched. "It is probably best if we do not," he replied, his voice hoarse. "I may end up changing my mind." His laughter, cold and mirthless, echoed into the dark corners. "In fact, I think if you do not leave now, I will end up making you mine."
Was it not why she'd come here to begin with? Blushing at her forwardness, she sidled closer to him. "If I am to leave before your mother arrives, would it not be better if I did so with there being a chance of an heir?"
"No." He advanced on her, his eyes glittering with flecks of silvery-blue light. "She would hunt you forever." The words came rushing out in
coarse whisper. "I could not let you go knowing that to be your fate. It is the only thing stopping me from taking you now, whether you be fully inclined or not." Standing in the full light of the fire, his bare chest heaving with each breath, he resembled some hungry beast straight from a fairytale.
Clara shook at the sight, uncertain whether or not fear drove such tremors. She stepped back, trying to think beyond the glowing creature before her, and found herself pressed against the leather chair.
Lucias jerked her closer, a gasp exploding from her lips as he crushed her to him. She pushed against the firm bulk of his chest to steady herself. His fingers wove their way through her hair.
Unbidden, her head tipped back. The quick rasp of his breath bathed her lips in its heat. Closing her eyes, she clung to him. Willing. Waiting for him to claim even this small part of her.
"Just leave," he breathed. His hands left her head, sliding down her neck and off her shoulders. "Please, before I wind up doing something we'll both regret." The silvery-blue light had left his eyes, but the stark hunger remained. It burned through her mind, crying out to be sated in her flesh. To know her as only a lover could, to bask in the paradise of such discovery. And to fill her with him.
Clara shivered, suddenly cold and empty. Hugging herself, she stumbled across the room. Behind her came the dull thump of a body. She paused in the doorway. Looking back, she saw him hunched in the chair, his fingers digging into the fallen mass of his hair. "Lucias, I—"
His head snapped up, the face it bore was one of disfigured agony. "Get out!" The words echoed through the room, blasting into her ears over and over.
Clara flinched, jumping back as the doors shook, then slammed shut. She blindly stared at the dark wood. What had she been thinking? I thought it was the right thing. Let him have her for one night and give the kingdom a chance. She hadn't counted on him refusing her. And he's sending me away. There was still a little time left to him and he was giving it up. To give me a chance. It was exactly what she'd been trying to do with him.
Dark One's Mistress (Dark One Trilogy Book 1) Page 19