by Martin Allen
“Most certainly and rest assured, the saving of the souls of the unfortunate is my primary concern, although I never thought my previous profession would ever be of assistance in that regard.”
“All rise.” Came the call from the guard by a small door at the side of the courtroom. “Judge Jesse Schultz presiding.”
The onlookers and the advocates alike rose to their feet as the judge entered the room and retook their seats as she motioned for them to do so.
“I find myself at something of a loss here. I was, until last night, scheduled for sentencing hearings all day. It would appear that something or someone managed to re-arrange all trials in this building in the early hours of this morning. This is not behaviour that I am happy with. It normally takes several weeks to even be scheduled for a trial in this court, it has it appears managed to somehow skipped the queue. I see the respondent is represented by Mr, or should I say Father Page. The applicant does not appear to have arrived. Given that my schedule was so rudely re-arranged I would assume that this hearing would have been of some importance to the applicant, as it does not appear to be so I have no problem with finding for the ….”
“My apologies your honour. I was merely doing some last minute polishing on my submission. I do hope that I haven’t missed anything.” said Mephistopheles appearing in a brief puff of smoke at the applicants table.
“So much for that plan,” muttered the judge. “ Please proceed Mr Mephistopheles.
“I object your honour; I do not believe that Mr Mephistopheles is in fact a lawyer. As it appears that he does not have rights of audience in this court he cannot represent the applicant, one Lucifer and the application should fail.” Intoned Father Page slowly rising giving the air of a kindly uncle gently correcting a child.
“Ah, that is somewhat true, I am not qualified as a lawyer. That being said the contract is between one Dr Fautus and a corporate body, I am by happy co-incidence an employee of said corporate body, Hell Holdings, and am authorised by the body corporate to represent it at today’s hearing. I am somewhat surprised at Father Page’s objection as I know he is not qualified in Brawley but in New York and England, I question his involvement in today’s hearing.” Mephistopheles gave a self-satisfied smirk at having turned the argument back on the priest.
“Ah, well, I must insist that as the sale of souls is entirely conducted under ecclesiastical law then the interests of God must be represented in this matter, as a clergyman and a lawyer, albeit not sanctioned by this state’s bar I am uniquely qualified to represent the two respondents, Miss Beck and Dr Fautus. I would point out that a qualified lawyer from another state bar may represent should the judge in the trial deem it to be acceptable. I would further point out that as the contract was conducted in Wittenberg, a feudal principality which is no longer extant, the closest surviving relative of the Elector was of the House of Hanover, from which the English royal family is descended, therefore an understanding of English Law, in which I am also qualified would be most helpful in determining issues with the contract itself. I await permission from your honour to proceed?” Father Page asked pausing for the judge to make her decision. In the pause the Judge nodded and Father Page returned to his seat.
Mariah exhaled, a no score draw. It could have been worse, neither side had yet drawn blood, and she wasn’t too keen on being named as a respondent either. She settled down for the prospect of protracted legal argument. Mephistopheles as the applicant was afforded the opportunity to present first and he entered into a lengthy discourse into the sanctity of the rule of law and the operation of contract. Essentially as long as one side offered terms, the other accepted, there was a flow of consideration (i.e. money, goods or services) and both parties intended to create legally binding relations then the contract would be deemed to be correctly agreed to and binding. The points raised were not new to Mariah having read many such judgements in her studies. Her head started to droop as the soporific tones of Mephistopheles started to lull her gently to a drowsy condition. Mariah was, even with her soul on the line, bored to tears with the legal issues concerning contracts and was itching for Father Page to raise the Supernatural Equal Rights Act, which she had been so instrumental in bringing to life. Mephistopheles, finally finished with the law relating to contracts started going through the various terms to which Dr Fautus had agreed. The unlimited amounts of magic and knowledge, he even pointed out that angels had tried to warn Dr Fautus of the folly of agreeing to such terms but he had rebuffed their warnings. Mariah was convinced that the Equal rights act would be the cornerstone of the case but based solely on the contract law that had been quoted things didn’t look too good right now. The judge was even nodding along with Mephistopheles’ speech.
“The respondents will seek to argue that a human cannot be classed as property under law, that position is misguided. A human body can be classed as property as per the Canadian case of R v Smith, not American law I hasten to point out, but persuasive in the absence of anything else. A human body if subject to an industrial process can be property, and in fact is the property of the individual who performed the process. Hell Holdings as a corporate person has performed a number of industrial processes on Dr Fautus over the 428 years he has been resident in Hell. As Dr Fautus was deemed dead in Wittenberg, these processes can only be considered to have been performed on a cadaver. He does not therefore class as human or even Supernatural. He is the property of Hell Holdings and should be returned as such.” Mephistopheles sat, looking inordinately pleased with himself and Mariah snorted with derision at the absurdity of his argument.
“Your honour, I move for a finding of no case to answer.” Said Father Page “The applicant is clearly trying to justify humans being property and that is contrary to the abolition of slavery. No human, and thus by extension no Supernatural person can be classed as property.”
“Overruled, much as I hate to admit it Dr Fautus is dead, and thus is not a person under the eyes of the law. I cannot find any law to support your contention that Dr Fautus can be classed as a human. I know that this is a very technical point, but I am sworn to uphold the law as it stands. I do not like it and I would point out to Mr Mephistopheles that it would give me great pleasure to find against him on an equally technical point simply from the moral position I hold on condemning someone to Hell. It must be taken as read that Dr Fautus readily agreed to the conditions and after his death certain procedures were performed on the cadaver to make his body property. Unless you can argue anything that undermines the facts or Mr Mephistopheles argument, with specific, rather than moralistic arguments then these points stand. This has been a long morning with very detailed legal argument and thus I shall adjourn this hearing for lunch. The parties will return for 2pm.”
Mariah shook her head in amazement, Mephistopheles was winning. Her prized Supernatural Equal Rights Act had just been completely nullified. The entire basis of her case was gone and she was now facing an eternity in Hell.
“I wouldn’t worry overmuch, my dear Mariah.” Father Page stated over lunch “I still have another string to my bow. I intend to attack the mindset of Dr Fautus when he made the contract; devils are notorious for influencing the minds of humans to endanger their souls. I know from Marlowe that Dr Faustus was attended to by a number of devils in those negotiations.”
Mariah stared at her “ultimate breakfast sandwich” in despair, normally the sight of such a masterful combination of ingredients would have her watering at the mouth, but now she felt it would taste as ashes.
“I call Dr Fautus to the stand, as he is still under Medical Supervision a video link has been prepared to allow him to testify remotely” began Father Page.
A television and a series of microphones were wheeled into the courtroom by the bailiffs and arranged so that the judge and the two advocates could speak to Dr Fautus in the hospital. The television and the various pieces of equipment were turned on and the image of Dr Fautus appeared on the screen.
“Can yo
u hear me Dr?” asked Father Page.
“Yah, this is wonderful instrument you have.” Dr Fautus genuinely seemed to be enjoying himself and Mariah wished she could be as carefree as the Doctor.
A series of basic questions were thrown at the Doctor to establish the basics of the contract and circumstances that surrounded it, they did not really make a difference to the case but it set background for the judge and Mariah started to zone out again. Inactivity grated on her, especially when she was powerless to act, normally she would be conducting the examination of the witness but as the old adage went, a lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client.
“You say that devils advised you on this supposed contract?” Father Page asked “Surely that is rather irregular?”
“Objection, unless Father Page wishes to allege that pointing out the advantages of the services on offer were somewhat improper then my minions were merely acting as salesmen. This is not a basis for challenging the contract. I would also ask that the court direct Father Page to ask whether there were angels at this discussion who similarly advise Dr Fautus as to the disadvantages, thus negating any one-sidedness as to the negotiations.” interjected Mephistopheles.
“So ordered,” intoned the judge.
“It is true, the angels sealed my arm so that I could not sign the contract in blood as had been my intention, even after they explained the consequences. I signed anyway.” Dr Faustus hung his head.
“But did not the devils counsel you on how to use your powers, thereby encouraging you to waste their use on frivolous things, such as placing large antlers on the head of a knight with his head sticking out of a window?” asked Father Page determined not to be put off.
“Objection! The use of his powers was entirely up to Dr Fautus, again could the court direct the good Father to ask if also angels were at all of these other events attempting to talk the Doctor out of using his powers in such a childish manner. I would also point out that wasted or not the powers were used and thus supplied. The contract was fulfilled. The manner in which the respondent used said powers is not a matter to render the contract invalid. Unless Father Page can find an argument, which is pertinent I would, move that this witness be dismissed and we move to closing arguments. I grow weary of this prevarication.”
“Father Page, I shall adjourn this hearing until tomorrow. I warn you, you are in danger of losing this case unless you change the tack of your entire argument. Please bear this in mind for tomorrow.” The judge banged her gavel and left the courtroom.
Mariah banged her head off the table in frustration. All of the arguments put forward by both Father Page and Artax seemed completely hopeless and were becoming more and more ridiculous as the evening progressed.
“Perhaps we should call Steve, there might be something he can do?” asked Artax, looking at Mariah.
“No way, I don’t want him doing something as stupid as I’ve done. All it takes is one wrong word and he’s caught up in this. You saw how easily I was trapped; I’m supposed to know better.” Mariah shook her head, this was her problem and she wasn’t going to let the head of the Supernatural Law Enforcement Agency fall headlong into it as well. Artax and the Father, while not doing her much good at the moment, were at least savvy enough not to drop into the obvious traps Mephistopheles may place in front of them. Mariah was painfully aware that she was the reason the vampire and the priest were not doing much good, her and her big mouth. In other circumstances she would have found the situation to be rather like a joke, a vampire and a priest working together to save the soul of a were-beast from the Devil. Mariah felt sure there was a punch line somewhere.
Mariah felt Artax’s strong hands shake her awake, she had fallen asleep reading Marlowe’s play. Exhausted with reading the terms of the contract over and over again she had attempted to get to grips with the closest thing she had to an impartial witness account. Still sleepy and groggy she allowed Father Page to guide her to the Courthouse as he apologised for not finding anything new to help her or Dr Fautus. He summarised that if there was any way for the judge to find in her favour then she would for it was obvious she had an intense dislike for Mephistopheles and his arguments, persuasive in law as they were.
Mariah could not help but be distracted as she sat in the courtroom waiting for the judge to arrive. She wondered if Dr Faustus had felt this wave of depression as he knew the twenty-four years were coming to an end, if he regretted the endless wave of pranks that he had pulled off secure in the delusion of his invincibility. In a few moments when Father Page admitted defeat and threw her on the mercy of the court it would all be over.
The judge entered the room, she looked directly at Father Page “Do you have a new argument in law for me or do I have to accede to Mr Mephistopheles’ petition to move to closing where your position will fall?” she asked.
“I am afraid nothing new has presented itse….”
“Wait!” Mariah shouted, “I call Mephistopheles to the stand.” Mephistopheles stared at her incredulously.
As the devil took the stand there was some whispered conversation with the bailiff, at the close of which it was allowed for Mephistopheles to simply affirm his testimony rather than swear on the bible, for obvious reasons, and for equally obvious reasons the possibility of a satanic text, which would by definition laud lying to the court, was also ruled out.
“I have three questions for you Mephistopheles, if you lie I will recall Dr Faustus to the stand as a witness to your testimony and given your standing I have no doubt his testimony will be believed over yours. Question one; does the contract provide that you will furnish Dr Fautus with the knowledge of the Universe?”
“Yes, I have said as much in my opening argument and have presented the court with a copy of the contract. Where are you going with this?” answered Mephistopheles bemused by the shift to the area on which he had previously been concentrating.
“Question two; when he asked about the physics of the Universe, what did you answer?” probed Mariah, getting into her stride, her interviewing technique honed by years as an employment lawyer.
“Per in equalem motum respectu fortius. This, translated means ‘through unequal motion with respect to the whole thing’. I fail to see how this is relevant.” Mephistopheles started to fidget.
“Question 3; does that answer, to a question honestly asked, in terms with the contract after it was signed, reflect any of the postulations in Newton’s three laws of motion? Given that the first law states: ‘When viewed in an inertial reference frame, an object either is at rest or moves at a constant velocity, unless acted upon by an external force.’ The second law states: ‘The acceleration of a body is directly proportional to, and in the same direction as, the net force acting on the body, and inversely proportional to its mass.’ and the third law states ‘When one body exerts a force on a second body, the second body simultaneously exerts a force equal in magnitude and opposite in direction to that of the first body.’ There is no scientific basis for your answer involving unequal motions within a closed system. How then did you perform the term of the contract to give Dr Fautus the knowledge of the Universe?” Mariah risked sticking her tongue out at the devil. It was childish she knew, but he had been so irritating that she couldn’t help herself.
“Rats!” Mephistopheles yelled and disappeared in a cloud of sulphurous smoke.
“Case dismissed!” the gavel hit the bench, Father Page’s observations as to the sympathies of the judge certainly seemed to be spot on the money.
A warm hand touched Mariah’s shoulder and the kindly brown eyes of Father Page gazed down at her.
“I knew you could do it my child. I never had any doubt.” A brief crinkle at the side of his mouth indicated the start of a smile.
As the smile grew white light suffused the air around him and a look of beneficent calm and tranquillity settled over Father Page.
“You are much loved my dear, never forget that.” The light formed into dancing spirals and motes as th
e calm that settled on the priest began to make its presence felt on Mariah.
For the first time in a long time she felt calm and secure, cocooned in a shell of the love of all those who knew her. She knew she was safe while all those she had affected still existed for she was indeed much loved. She stared into the brown eyes of the priest who was now execrably changing, starting from the eyes. They were no longer the elderly eyes she had grown somewhat accustomed to but now of an middle-aged, yet kind and strong gentleman. They were also shifting from the deep mahogany brown of the priest to a blue, grey that hit her gut. The speed of the dancing lights increased and they spun until they obscured the face and body of the man in front of her. Then it was gone. The lights vanished, but not all of the feeling that they had brought. Mariah say alone at the desk in the courtroom staring at the space where for a brief moment she had glimpsed…
“Dad?....” she whispered.
About the Author
Martin Allen graduated from the University of Northumbria at Newcastle in 2003 with a Law LL.B (Hons) Exempting L.P.C. Degree. He has worked in many different areas of the Legal Sector and built up a wealth of experience.