“I never imagined seeing you again. I had let it go, accepted that I would only ever have this career instead of the relationship and babies thing that everyone else did. I told myself it was just as good, better even. I got a million downloads faster than anyone else, sold out my first concert tour faster than anyone else. And after spending one evening with you and Mateo, I understood just how hollow it all was. I want you to know that I have never stopped loving you. And this time I won’t fuck it up. I’m not going to hide anymore and I’m going to put you and Mateo first. If you’ll let me.” She gazed at Maddie, biting her bottom lip, the desperation in her eyes pinning Maddie to the spot.
“Don’t say things you don’t mean. I can’t—”
“I mean it.” Sofi interrupted Maddie with another demanding kiss. Maddie closed her eyes and then found the strength somewhere to put a hand on Sofi’s chest and push her away.
“I can’t be hurt again. And I can’t let you close to Mateo if you don’t mean it. I’m not stupid, I know it won’t be easy, I know that everyone will hate this, but I need to know that this isn’t just you fucking around, that you mean for us to have something somehow.” Maddie felt a tightness in her chest that matched the tight, shivering feeling low down in her belly.
“I.” Sofi kissed her behind her ear.
“Mean.” She bit softly down on Maddie’s neck and her skin turned into a sea of goose bumps.
“It.” She put a hand on Maddie’s cheek and looked into her eyes. And the way Sofi looked at her told her that she did mean it. And she decided it was enough.
Maddie put her hand at the nape of Sofi’s neck and used it to pull her into a kiss. She gloried in the feel of Sofi’s lips, moaning when their tongues touched. She moved her other hand up Sofi’s leg, under her dress, and past the top of her thigh until she could cup her beautiful ass. Sofi moved to grind against her, and Maddie felt herself get even more wet.
“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. And I’ve spent an indecent amount of time tonight thinking about taking off that dress.” Maddie sounded smoother than she felt. She swallowed. Her mouth was dry suddenly and her heart was about to burst out of her chest.
Sofi smiled a smile that told Maddie she had just said absolutely the right thing. She threw her coat on the chair and bent to remove her shoes while Maddie did the same. They were toe to toe now, next to the bed.
“Sofi.” The thickness of her voice completely betrayed the desire Maddie was feeling. Sofi responded with a hungry kiss, her tongue darting inside Maddie’s mouth in a way that had always driven Maddie wild. All the time, Sofi’s hands did not stop moving along Maddie’s body, grazing her breasts through the fabric of her dress, caressing Maddie’s shoulders, running her hands up and down her back and across her ass. Maddie felt herself surrender. She was hot, she was wet, and all she could think about was getting naked and having Sofi underneath her.
She pulled Sofi to her, kissing her hard and then stepping back. When Sofi reached for her, she moved farther away, out of her reach, putting her hand up as if to ask Sofi to give her a moment. Sofi’s eyes were wide and wanting. Maddie teasingly reached behind herself to slowly unzip her own dress, pausing before she allowed it to fall from her shoulders so that she could enjoy Sofi’s reaction and then letting it fall down her body to the floor. She stepped out of it and kicked it to one side, then faced Sofia in just her underwear, glad that she had chosen something lacy and black.
Sofi moved to take off her own dress and Maddie stopped her. She took hold of Sofi’s hands and kissed them both before placing them on her hips. They stayed there for about three seconds until Sofi moved them to Maddie’s breasts, stroking them through the soft sheer fabric of her bra. Sofi undid Maddie’s bra and let it fall to the floor next to the dress. Maddie leaned her head back and enjoyed the feel of Sofi’s hands on her breasts, bolts of pleasure landing between her legs every time Sofi grazed a nipple and then, when Sofi bent her head to take a nipple in her mouth, they both moaned and Maddie felt her legs get a little unsteady. She was so close to just letting go, and she knew that if Sofi’s hands strayed any closer to her center than their current position at the edge of her panties, she wouldn’t be able to hold on.
Maddie lifted Sofi’s face to hers and kissed her. Seeing Sofi’s desire made Maddie even more aroused. She turned Sofi gently so that her back was to Maddie and unzipped her dress slowly, letting her fingers follow the zip, tracing a line down the soft skin of Sofi’s back. She felt Sofi shiver under her touch, and Maddie let the dress fall to the floor, before gasping at the sight of Sofi almost naked in front of her. She stepped toward Sofi and unhooked her bra, then let it fall to the floor. Maddie kissed the back of her neck, gently at first and then not gently, biting her skin. She peppered kisses along Sofi’s neck and shoulders, before reaching around Sofi’s body, moving her hands onto her breasts, pinching her nipples gently. Sofi’s moans telling her all she needed to know about whether she liked it.
She pinched harder. Sofi arched her back and pushed herself back against Maddie. Maddie dropped one of her hands, her fingers playing with the edge of Sofi’s panties, darting in and out of the waistband until Sofi took hold of Maddie’s hand and lowered it into her panties with a low moan. Maddie smiled and bit down on Sofi’s neck as she felt just how wet Sofi was. She began to stroke the wetness, finding the spot that she knew Sofi needed her to touch and enjoying the feel of Sofi grinding her ass against Maddie’s own aching center as her pleasure built.
“Maddie.”
Maddie was so far gone that she barely registered Sofi saying her name. But when she did, she stopped and pulled away, worried that Sofi wanted her to stop. Sofi groaned instantly.
“No, no, don’t stop,” Sofi pleaded.
Maddie turned Sofi around to face her, needing to understand what she wanted. Sofi moved Maddie’s hand back to where it had been, but at the same time, she moved backward toward the bed, sinking slowly onto it and pulling Maddie down on top of her. She used her hands to push down her panties as far down as she could reach.
“I want you inside me,” she whispered into Maddie’s ear.
Maddie kissed Sofi hungrily, never stopping her rhythmic stroking through the soft wetness between Sofi’s legs. She moved her mouth to Sofi’s breast, feeling Sofi react with a gasp to the feel of her tongue flicking across her nipple, Maddie entered Sofi, moving in and out slowly, and then, as Sofi responded, lifting her hips from the bed to meet Maddie’s fingers, quicker and harder. Fucking her in the way she wanted, in the way they both wanted. Sofi’s hands were all over her—on her breasts, in her hair, on her ass.
Maddie lifted her head from Sofi’s breasts to kiss her, knowing she was close to coming. Sofi had a pleading heavy look in her eyes, her lips full and red betraying her arousal. The sight was electrifying to Maddie, and she felt the throbbing between her own legs grow even stronger. As if reading her mind, Sofi reached down and slid her fingers inside Maddie’s panties, dipping them into the swollen wetness with a sigh of pleasure. As soon as Sofi touched her there, Maddie felt her body react. She lost possession of herself and, for a moment, ceased the in and out strokes that Sofi was straining for.
“No, don’t. Don’t stop.” The pleading words from Sofi brought Maddie back into the room. She wanted to hold on. She willed herself to not to give in to the explosive orgasm that she knew Sofi’s touch was about to create in her. She continued to plunge her fingers deep into Sofi, glorying in the sounds that Sofi was making on every stroke, and she pushed her own center against Sofi’s hand. She wanted to come so bad but also wanted to wait, wanting them to come together.
Finally, she felt Sofi arch as she let out a soft elongated “f-uuu-ck,” and Maddie knew she was coming. She let herself go in response, her own wave of pleasure taking her breath away, better than anything that had gone before and leaving her unable to do anything other than collapse on top of Sofi. Sofi bucked against her, murmuring curse words over and over as she rode o
ut the orgasm. Her eyes clamped shut. When she opened them, Maddie could see they were wet.
“Hey.” Maddie moved onto her side, stroking Sofi’s cheek softly. “Are you okay?” Maddie didn’t dare breathe, her own orgasm had barely subsided, her body still trembled, but she wanted, needed, Sofi’s tears to be of happiness and not of regret. She couldn’t bear that. She watched Sofi swipe her eyes, seeming annoyed that the tears were there.
“I’m more than okay, Maddie. That was incredible. Goose bumps everywhere.” She moved Maddie’s hand to her thigh to stroke her dimpled skin. She shook her head with a look of embarrassment. “It’s just, I waited a long time for you, for this.” She kissed Maddie softly. “And I didn’t dare imagine that you would ever be mine again.” Sofi’s eyes were dark, watery, and full of feelings, and Maddie thought they were beautiful.
“I…” Maddie wanted to say how she was feeling. But the arousal, the orgasm, the feeling of Sofi naked next to her, all conspired to make it too hard. She wanted to say that she’d never stopped hoping they would find their way back to each other, that she was glad Sofi had brought her to Paris and had the courage to make this happen, but she was terrified about what came next. So, instead of speaking, she kissed Sofi all over again, moving her mouth from Sofi’s lips to her shoulder blades and then to her breasts. They had all night to talk. Maddie would find a way to tell Sofi how she felt, but right now, she didn’t have words. She felt Sofi shift beneath her, felt Sofi’s hands on her ass, pulling them closer together, grinding against her. She felt Sofi bite her skin just above the collarbone and started to throb with want all over again. She had the feeling they weren’t going to get much sleep in this lovely Parisian bed.
* * *
Sofia woke up and stretched. She felt a tight soreness in her thighs and calves—a happy by-product of hours of making love with Maddie. The memories made her heart smile and her whole body tingle. She leaned across to kiss Maddie to find her gazing up at her, her eyes wide and full of worry.
“Hey.” She placed a soft kiss on Maddie’s lips, trying not to feel panic at the way Maddie was looking at her.
“We need to talk.”
“About what?” Sofia needed to know what Maddie was thinking. “No good ever came from anyone saying ‘we need to talk.’” She pulled herself up into a seated position and pulled the covers over herself defensively. She wasn’t sure her heart would survive Maddie having second thoughts.
“I’m scared.” Maddie spoke softly, her voice a little husky.
“Of what?”
“Of what comes next.” Maddie moved to sit up, leaning her back against the headboard. “I never let myself imagine you coming back, and I’m so fucking happy about it that I’m terrified. I don’t know how I’m going to go back to Miami and pretend this didn’t happen.”
Sofia didn’t know what to say. She had always been more hopeful than Maddie, more optimistic somehow, but even she—with her belief that love was enough—could see that it wasn’t going to be easy. But she couldn’t regret any of it. They’d fought their feelings and then both accepted they had to act on them.
“I don’t want you to pretend it didn’t happen. Why would you say that?”
Maddie closed her eyes and then opened them again, and Sofia felt like she was standing on the edge of a dangerous precipice.
“Last night was amazing, obviously. I never stopped wanting you, my body never forgot the way you felt, how we made each other feel. But this last few weeks—finding you again, us spending time together, Mateo falling for you—well, it’s made me realize just how much more this is for me than simply wanting you. I know this is maybe unexpected, but I love you, and if I’m honest, I don’t think I ever stopped.”
Sofia felt her heart lift. She wanted to jump up onto the bed, raise her arms in the air, and shout with happiness. But Maddie looked like she’d just delivered some devastatingly bad news.
“I don’t understand. That’s good, isn’t it? I feel the same way. I was only ever treading water in life, waiting for you to come back. It’s why I’m tired and unhappy. I had no idea that being without the person you’re meant to be with was so exhausting. I love you too, Maddie. I always have.”
“It’s not enough.” Maddie shook her head.
“How can it not be enough?” Sofi leaned across and kissed Maddie softly, searchingly. She felt Maddie respond. She wanted to make it clear with her kisses that this wasn’t just enough, it was their destiny. Maddie pulled away.
“Today, you’re going to be leaving for a long time, and I’m going to go home to my son. And even if I tell myself I can wait, what will I be waiting for? A week at Christmas and maybe a weekend off after the Grammys if you win and everyone agrees you deserve some time off. But only if the next-big-thing in music doesn’t make a better offer. And when the focus groups tell you that coming out, ditching Noah, and hanging out with me is bad for numbers, what then?”
Maddie sounded so unhappy, but she didn’t need to be. Sofia had been worrying about the same things, and she knew they could make it work.
“We’ll find a way. I have lots of experience sleeping on planes. And I am home for a few days at Christmas. It’s only a couple of months away. And after this tour, I promise you I will take some serious time off and live in my house. I’ll even buy myself a Jet Ski.” She smiled and looked into Maddie’s eyes, wanting to let her know they could do this.
“And truthfully, I don’t know what the hell is going to happen when this video drops, at the same time that people find out I ‘broke up’ with Noah, but with you by my side I know I can find a way to be brave. I’m so sick of hiding, and if Felix is right and it ruins my career, then maybe it’s time to find a new one.”
Maddie sat staring at her. She wasn’t sure if she’d said the right thing or the wrong thing. But at least it was the truth this time.
“If I’m by your side, it’s going to be worse. They’re all going to come for me—not just your people but your fans, his fans. I don’t want that, for me or for Mateo.”
“That’s what Tanya said. But she also said that if I told everyone the Noah thing was fake, that I felt like I had to stay in the closet, then maybe it’d be okay and people might not blame you.”
“You can’t do that. It’s career suicide.” Maddie’s voice was small, uncertain. “You told Tanya about us?”
“Yeah. I had to tell someone. I’m sorry. I needed advice.”
“And you chose Tanya?” There was the glimmer of a smile on Maddie’s face. “Interesting choice. What did she say?”
Sofia chanced moving closer. She knelt in front of Maddie.
“She said that she’d always thought we were end game. And she said life is way too short to not kiss the girls we wanna kiss.”
“That’s—”
“I know, I know,” Sofia murmured the words into Maddie’s mouth, stopping her from speaking by pulling her into another kiss, deeper this time. “I don’t know how this is all going to play out, but I promise you’ll never regret giving us another chance.” When she pulled away and looked at Maddie, the unmistakable need she saw on her face made Sofia’s insides tighten. She stroked strands of hair away from Maddie’s forehead and marveled at the feeling. Maddie shivered at the touch and her eyes grew wider. Sofia tilted her head and pressed her lips to Maddie’s, and when Maddie parted her lips slightly, Sofia’s tongue darted softly inside. Maddie moaned and opened her mouth a little wider, taking it in. The warm wetness of their kiss was so delicious that Sofia couldn’t help but groan with desire. Maddie pushed her onto her back, her hands on Sofia’s breasts, pushing her leg between Sofia’s. Her hands moving naturally over Sofia’s breasts, her palms grazing the nipples. Sofia’s breathing became a little ragged. She was mesmerized by Maddie’s hands, moving across her stomach, into her hair, caressing her breasts, never keeping still. Maddie’s lips moving from her mouth, to her neck and traced soft kisses across her collarbone. Sofia felt like she was made of liquid, not sure how she
was still breathing.
“You’re so beautiful.” Sofia traced her fingers across the warm curves of Maddie’s breasts, enjoying the shiver that her touch created in Maddie. She closed her mouth over one and then the other, using her tongue to tease the spot just under each nipple that left Maddie writhing with pleasure above her. Sofi flipped Maddie onto her back and moved her mouth back to her breasts before tracing her tongue down Maddie’s torso and across her ribs. As she moved her mouth along Maddie’s abs and into the hollow beneath her stomach, she left gentle fluttering kisses on her skin. She looked up at Maddie, seeing nothing in her eyes but want, seeing a pleading that was all the answer she needed.
She moved off the edge of the bed and knelt in front of Maddie, gently pushing her legs farther apart and leaning up on her knees to tease kisses from Maddie’s navel to the inside of her thighs, allowing herself to softly graze her fingers across Maddie’s center, enjoying the feeling of Maddie writhing beneath her. She felt Maddie’s fingers in her hair, urging her not to wait any longer. Sofi didn’t want to. She wanted to taste Maddie again more than she had ever wanted anything else in the world.
She stroked the length of Maddie with her tongue as Maddie lifted her hips, pushing herself closer to Sofia’s mouth. She circled Maddie’s clitoris, flicking her tongue across the swollen tip and hearing Maddie gasp every time. Maddie’s breathing was rapid now, her body grinding into the bed to the rhythm of her tongue, one hand grasping the bed sheets tightly and the fingers of the other wrapped in Sofia’s hair.
Sofia could feel that Maddie was close to coming. She reached up a hand to pinch her nipple, before rubbing her palm across it roughly. Sofia closed her mouth over Maddie’s center, gently sucking, until she felt Maddie’s orgasm crash in, heard Maddie cry out her name as she came. She felt Maddie shuddering beneath her and waited for her to come back down, for her body to grow still.
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