‘Fine. I’m driving anyway so I won’t be drinking much,’ Ben said comfortably. ‘And Anna can’t drink because of the baby.’
‘So that lets you off the hook, doesn’t it, Mr Forgetful?’ Beth teased, earning herself another quick kiss. She sighed as Adam left the room to fetch their drinks. ‘Actually, it’s no wonder he forgot about the drinks. I have to leave him to do most of the shopping and it can’t be easy, remembering everything after a hard day at work.’
‘Adam told me about Hannah,’ Anna put in. ‘I imagine that your time away from the house has been rather limited recently.’
‘Tell me about it!’ Beth groaned, flopping down onto a chair and kicking off her shoes. ‘I’m developing a severe case of cabin fever but it’s been worth it. Hannah’s consultant told me on Friday afternoon that she should be able to go back to school just before Christmas.’
‘That’s brilliant news!’ Ben declared.
‘Isn’t it just,’ Beth began, then stopped as the door opened and a little girl shyly crept into the room. ‘Come and say hello, darling,’ she urged, holding out her hand to the child. ‘You know Uncle Ben, and this is Anna who works at the surgery with him and Daddy.’
Anna smiled as Hannah stared at her with huge, solemn blue eyes. She couldn’t help thinking how adorable the child was with her halo of soft black curls. ‘Hello, Hannah. It’s lovely to meet you.’
‘Hello,’ the child murmured, then hurried over to Beth and squeezed onto the chair beside her.
‘I brought you some of those cards that you love to swop,’ Ben told her, taking a couple of foil-wrapped packets out of his pocket.
Hannah’s face instantly lit up. ‘Oh, thank you, Uncle Ben!’ She knelt on the floor beside him and quickly opened the packets, exclaiming in delight when she saw the cards. ‘I haven’t got any of these.’
Anna couldn’t help noticing that the child wasn’t at all shy with Ben, but she’d noticed before that he had a wonderful way around children. Fortunately, Adam came back with their drinks just then and in the ensuing hubbub she had no time to dwell on the thought, let alone wonder why it made her feel a little sad. The thought that Ben wouldn’t be around to develop a relationship with her child after it was born wasn’t something she wanted to think about.
Beth served lunch in the conservatory a short time later and Anna enjoyed the company as much as she enjoyed the delicious roast beef that was served. It was good to be surrounded by so many nice people, people who seemed to have accepted her. She helped Beth carry the dirty dishes into the kitchen after they had finished the main course, pausing when the other woman turned to her.
‘I just wanted to tell you how much I admire what you’re doing, Anna. Adam told me about the baby and everything, and I think you’re simply wonderful.’
‘Why, thank you,’ Anna replied, feeling a lump come to her throat.
‘Oh, dear, I hope I haven’t upset you,’ Beth exclaimed in concern. ‘That was the last thing I intended to do.’
‘No, of course not…Well, I’m not really upset, just touched,’ Anna confessed honestly. ‘I’ve been wary of telling people the truth about the baby because I wasn’t sure how they would react. It is rather an unusual situation.’
‘It is and that just proves how brave you are,’ Beth assured her. ‘Not many women would have done what you’ve done.’
‘That’s what Ben keeps saying,’ she admitted, then flushed when she heard the wistful note in her voice.
Beth picked up the plates and started loading them into the dishwasher. ‘Adam mentioned that you and Ben seem to get along extremely well,’ she said artlessly.
‘We do. He’s a good friend,’ Anna agreed, trying her best to keep her tone level. She bit her lip when the other woman treated her to an old-fashioned look.
‘Just a friend?’
‘Yes, that’s all.’ She took a deep breath and looked Beth firmly in the eye. ‘It’s more than enough in the circumstances, wouldn’t you say?’
‘Meaning that you don’t intend to let the situation develop into anything more because of the baby?’ Beth shrugged. ‘Does Ben know that? I was watching him while we were eating and it’s obvious how fond he is of you, Anna.’
‘I’m fond of him, too—as a friend,’ she added quickly, needing to make sure that Beth understood the facts.
‘Well, so long as you both know the score, that’s fine.’ Beth didn’t say anything more on the subject, switching the conversation to the plans for the surgery instead. However, Anna couldn’t put the conversation out of her mind no matter how hard she tried.
Was Ben fond of her? And if so was it just as a friend or…?
Her mind stalled at that point. She didn’t want to think what the or might be.
‘It’s been lovely meeting you. Thank you for coming.’
‘Thank you for inviting me. I’ve really enjoyed it,’ Anna replied truthfully, returning Beth’s hug.
‘You must come again,’ Beth replied. ‘Both of you.’
Anna sighed when she saw the pointed look the other woman gave her. It was obvious that she hadn’t managed to convince Beth that she and Ben were just good friends. Was it any wonder, though? she found herself thinking, when she was having such problems believing it herself. All afternoon long the thought that Ben might want to be more than just her friend had whirled round and round in her head, but it would be a mistake to let herself get carried away by the idea.
‘A very enjoyable day, wouldn’t you say?’ Ben glanced at her as she got into the car. ‘You and Beth seemed to get on well together.’
‘We did.’ Anna summoned a smile, not wanting him to suspect that there was anything wrong. She had known from the outset that their relationship had to be kept within strict boundaries so it was foolish to wish that things could have been different. ‘I really like Beth. She’s so warm and friendly.’
‘Beth’s a very kind and caring woman, and she absolutely adores Hannah and Adam,’ he agreed warmly, turning the car around so that they could head back to Winton.
‘The feeling is obviously mutual,’ Anna observed softly. ‘It doesn’t take a clairvoyant to see that Adam is crazy about her.’
‘No, it doesn’t. They’re very lucky, aren’t they?’
She looked at him and frowned. ‘Lucky?’
‘That they’ve found each another,’ he explained. ‘A lot of people go through life without ever meeting that one special person.’
‘Or they meet them at entirely the wrong time,’ she said without thinking, then felt herself colour.
‘Are you speaking from experience?’ he asked, and she couldn’t help but hear the grating note in his voice.
‘It was just a generalisation. How’s the negotiations for the cottage going, by the way?’ she asked, quickly changing the subject. She could scarcely believe that she had said something so revealing and could only hope that Ben hadn’t read too much into the chance remark.
Had it been a chance remark, though? a small voice whispered. Or had it been a simple statement of fact? If she had met Ben at a different point in her life, wouldn’t their relationship be very different?
‘My solicitor seems fairly confident that we should be able to exchange contracts by the end of next month,’ he replied evenly.
‘Th-that’s good,’ she said, struggling to focus on what he was saying rather than her own wayward thoughts. The thought that she and Ben could have been more than friends if she hadn’t been pregnant was so bitter-sweet that it made her heart ache. ‘You should be able to move in before Christmas, then, I expect.’
‘I’m hoping so, not that Christmas is much of an event in my life.’ He shrugged when she looked quizzically at him. ‘It’s not much fun celebrating on your own, is it?’
‘I suppose not,’ she agreed, her face falling when she remembered the previous Christmas. She had spent it with Jo and it had been a very happy time for both of them because they’d just learned that they had been accepted for IVF trea
tment. She couldn’t help thinking how different it was going to be that year.
‘I didn’t mean to make you feel miserable,’ Ben apologised.
‘I know you didn’t.’ She summoned a smile. ‘It’s just that last Christmas Jo and I were at the planning stage, wondering how long it would take before I got pregnant and if the baby would be a boy or a girl.’ She shrugged. ‘It was all so exciting.’
‘And this Christmas will be just as wonderful because the baby is a reality.’ He laid his hand gently on her stomach. ‘You’re carrying Jo’s hopes and dreams inside you, Anna, and that will make this a Christmas to remember.’
She was so moved by what he’d said that she felt her eyes fill with tears, and he groaned. ‘Me and my big mouth! I’m obviously suffering from a severe case of foot-in-mouth disease.’
His expression was so comical that she couldn’t help laughing and she saw him smile. ‘That’s better. I love seeing you laugh like that, Anna. It’s like watching the sun come out.’
There was a throbbing note in his voice which turned the remark into something else, something that made her bones feel like liquid all of a sudden. Anna raised shocked eyes to his face and felt her heart come to a halt when she saw the way he was looking at her with such hunger, such need.
There was a moment when she thought that he was going to do or say something before he returned his attention to the road, and for the rest of the journey the conversation was kept strictly to neutral topics. However, it was a relief when they reached the surgery at last. Although the conversation had been low-key, the atmosphere inside the car had grown increasingly tense so that she could hardly wait to make her escape.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow, then, Anna,’ he said, drawing the car to a halt and turning to her.
‘Yes.’ It was an effort to keep her voice level and she saw him frown.
‘Look, Anna, maybe—’
‘Thanks for the lift.’ She didn’t let him finish as she quickly opened the car door. In her heart she knew that it would be a mistake. Ben might say something which he later regretted and she…well, she didn’t have the right to hope for anything more than she already had.
She went up to the flat and let herself in, not looking back to wave as he drove away. She went straight to her bedroom and put her coat away then made herself a cup of tea.
She took it into the sitting room and turned on the television, using the familiar everyday actions to distract herself. She didn’t want to think about what had happened, wouldn’t allow herself to wonder what Ben might have said. It was too dangerous to start dreaming about something she couldn’t have.
‘So Dr Cole has left it up to me to decide if I want to go on HRT. To be honest, I’ve felt so much better lately that I don’t think I need any pills.’
Anna smiled. She’d been on her way to the office when she’d spotted Janice Robertson leaving Ben’s room and they’d stopped to have a chat. ‘It’s entirely up to you. Although a lot of women find that they cope much better with the menopause if they have hormone replacement therapy, not everyone needs it.’
‘That’s what Dr Cole said.’ Janice sighed ruefully. ‘To think that I’d been putting off having those blood tests and coming for the results because I didn’t want to admit that I was going through the change. It seems daft now but at the time it made perfect sense. I couldn’t bear the thought that my days of having children were coming to an end because it made me feel as though there was no point to my life any longer.’
‘It’s very easy to get things out of proportion when you’re feeling low,’ Anna assured her, then frowned.
Had she got what had happened on Sunday out of proportion? she wondered. In the past three days Ben hadn’t given any sign that he wanted to further their relationship, yet on Sunday she would have put good money on it.
‘That’s why working at the playgroup has been such a lifesaver,’ Janice declared. ‘It’s really given me a lift.’
Anna quickly returned her thoughts to the conversation and smiled. ‘I’m so glad. It’s obvious that you’re great with the children. I could see how little Sam Wilkins adores you.’
Janice grimaced. ‘I felt a bit awful about that, actually. I hope that Lucy didn’t think that I was trying to take over from her. I know how hard she tries with Sam, and how much she worries about him.’
‘I’m sure she was glad of your help,’ Anna assured her. ‘Anyway, I’m really pleased that everything is working out so well for you, Janice.’
‘Thanks. And thanks for putting me in touch with the playgroup in the first place.’ Janice patted her arm. ‘If you ever need anyone to babysit when the time comes, feel free to call on me!’
‘I appreciate the offer, although I don’t know if I’ll be staying in Winton,’ Anna explained.
‘Oh, I hope you do!’ Janice exclaimed. ‘We’ll all miss you if you leave. Surely you could return here to work after the baby’s born?’
‘Maybe,’ she replied noncommittally. She sighed as Janice left. She couldn’t help thinking how hard it was going to be, moving somewhere else. She would know nobody and have no friends to turn to.
That thought naturally brought her back to Ben and she groaned. What was that saying about all roads leading to Rome? Substitute Ben’s name for the name of the city and it fitted perfectly!
Anna was in the flat, making herself some lunch, when there was a knock on the door. She hurried to answer it, feeling her heart sink when she saw Ben standing outside and realised how grim he looked.
‘Is something wrong?’ she asked, opening the door so that he could step inside the tiny hall.
‘I’ve just had Valerie Prentice on the phone,’ he told her without any preamble. ‘Lucy Wilkins hasn’t turned up to collect Sam from playgroup and she wondered if I had any idea where she might be. Evidently, Lucy had mentioned something about making an appointment to see me this morning, but Eileen assures me that she didn’t phone up.’
‘Where on earth can she be?’ Anna exclaimed worriedly. ‘It isn’t like her not to be there for Sam. If anything, she’s over-protective.’
‘I know. That’s why I’m so worried.’ He sounded really concerned. ‘I’m going round to where she lives to see if she’s all right. I know it sounds silly but I have this funny feeling that something might have happened to her.’
‘I’ll go with you,’ Anna said immediately.
‘Would you? Thanks.’ He smiled at her and once again she couldn’t fail to see the warmth in his eyes.
She turned away, using the excuse that she needed to fetch her coat, but that was all it was—an excuse. She was simply trying to avoid having to deal with what was happening, but one day soon she would have to face up to it. And when she did she had to make sure that she did the right thing by Ben even if it wasn’t what she really wanted. She wouldn’t do anything that might end up hurting him.
It didn’t take them long to drive to Lucy’s bedsit above a fish-and-chip shop in one of the poorest areas of the town. Anna grimaced as she got out of the car and had to step over a pile of litter that was scattered across the pavement.
‘I didn’t realise that there were areas like this in Winton,’ she confessed.
‘This estate was built in the sixties as an overspill area for the city,’ Ben explained grimly. ‘It was the trend at the time. The logic behind it was that the two communities would integrate and the poorer folk would strive to improve themselves. The reality is that it’s hard to change your lifestyle if you’ve not got the money or the resources to do so.’
‘It must be,’ she agreed, following him into the chip shop. Ben went straight to the counter and quickly introduced himself to the proprietor then asked him if he had seen Lucy that day. Anna had guessed what the answer was from the man’s negative shake of his head before Ben came to report back to her.
‘He hasn’t seen her for a couple of days, apparently. However, he says that isn’t unusual because she tends to keep very much to herself.’
‘So what are we going to do now?’ she asked worriedly.
‘We’ll go up to the flat and knock to see if she’s in. If we don’t get a reply, we’ll need to consider our options,’ he explained flatly.
Anna shivered because she, too, was starting to get a bad feeling about this. They made their way up a narrow staircase at the rear of the shop and knocked on the door at the top, but there was no reply.
Ben pressed his ear to the door. ‘I can hear music playing so she must be in there.’
He knocked again, harder this time, but he still didn’t get an answer. Anna could tell that he was growing increasingly concerned and wasn’t surprised when he curtly told her that he was going down to the shop to see if there was a spare key available.
He came back with the owner of the chip shop, who unlocked the door. Anna just had time to take stock of the shabby furniture and peeling paintwork before her gaze alighted on the figure lying on a narrow single bed. She felt her heart turn over with fear when she realised that it was Lucy.
Ben uttered something rough as he ran across the room. Bending down, he quickly checked the girl’s pulse then picked up a small brown bottle that was lying on the floor beside the bed and started firing out instructions. ‘Phone for an ambulance. Tell them that it’s a paracetamol overdose.’
He turned to Anna as the owner of the shop hurried away. ‘We need to get her on her feet. Can you help me? She’s been drinking from the look of it. That’s why she’s passed out.’
‘Of course.’ Anna’s heart was racing as she hurried to the bed. The girl was muttering incoherently and there was a strong smell of alcohol on her breath. There was an empty bottle of cheap wine on the bedside table as well as a few paracetamol tablets, although there was no way of knowing just how many Lucy might have taken.
Ben glanced at the tablets and his tone was grim. ‘It takes very few paracetamol tablets to kill a person. Paracetamol destroys the liver unless the antidote is given. I’ve heard of people being sent home from hospital, apparently well, then turning up a few days later with liver failure.’
The Baby Issue Page 11