Two in a Zoo

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Two in a Zoo Page 6

by Oliver Herford and Curtis Dunham


  CHAPTER VI

  Food never drops out of a clear sky. When the sky is dark with clouds, it sometimes rains toads; that is different. I have yet to hear of a barbed iron hook being concealed in the flesh of a toad. Insects and other morsels that float down the brook into the pool come to us in the regular course of nature, and may be swallowed without question.

  --_Maxims of Grandfather Pickerel._

  Toots went back to the boulder by the river's margin that sameafternoon, and resumed his observation of the Pickerel Family at home.Reginald was taking a nap on the grassy slope of the river bank, andthe Princess was tenderly waving her handkerchief over his face to keepoff the flies. On a rainy day not long afterward Toots gave her thefollowing account of his observations:

  Mother Pickerel was worried. She expected company, and everything wasat sixes and sevens. The little pickerels were quarrelsome, and wereconstantly getting in her way. She cuffed them with her fins, and askedthem what they supposed their Aunt Bass would think of their conduct.The little Pickerels loved their Aunt Bass, she was so amiable andentertaining. They chattered about her with their noses close togetherunder the rocks where the brook entered the pool. Aunt Bass was notfierce and greedy like Uncle Pike. Sometimes she came over to the poolat sundown, and amused them by leaping far out of the water to catchfireflies. And she would tell them such lovely stories of all she sawin the strange upper world, where there was nothing to swim in. Shewas delightful. The little pickerels disputed angrily about which ofthem should go to meet her. They chased each other about and blunderedrudely into the corner where Grandfather Pickerel was trying to have aquiet nap. The old fellow grumbled so loudly at this interruption thatMother Pickerel had to leave her work again. She cuffed them right andleft, saying:

  "How often have I told you not to disturb your grandfather when he istaking his nap? And his stomach troubling him so! Don't you know itrained last night? Oh, you bad children, to worry your grandfatherafter a rain when his stomach hurts him so."

  Just then Father Pickerel came home. Hearing what had happened, hewent at once and apologized to Grandfather Pickerel. Presently MotherPickerel joined them. Baby Pickerel sneaked up near enough to hear whatthey were saying. After a little she rejoined her brothers and sisters,looking very important.

  "What are they talking about?" demanded the other little pickerels, ina chorus.

  "About Big Brother," said Baby Pickerel. "I just knew that was whatwas the matter. He's been gallivanting again after that ill-bred MissCatfish. He can't be found anywhere. Uncle Pike's gone after him, andpretty soon there's going to be a regular picnic, I can tell you. Allthe relations are coming. I expect Big Brother's going to catch it thistime."

  Miss Pickerel turned up her nose disdainfully. "The idea of Brotherrunning after that Catfish girl. What shocking bad taste! Did younotice what a horrid big mouth she has?"

  "And she hasn't got a decent suit of scales to her back," chimed in thenext to the youngest Pickerel.

  "She actually eats mud," said Baby Pickerel. "I saw her do it only theother day. When she noticed that I saw her, she looked ashamed andsneaked away."

  "I am very glad to hear that she is not lost to all sense of shame,"said Miss Pickerel, with a toss of her head.

  "For my part," said one of the little Pickerels who had not yet spoken,"I'd about as lief be a low-bred catfish as a greedy, quarrelsome pike."

  "S-s-s-h!" said Miss Pickerel, warningly, "the Pikes are ourrelations."

  "I don't care if they are. Uncle Pike is perfectly disgraceful. Hesnatches the fattest tadpoles and gulps them down at a single mouthfulbefore any one else has a chance at them. He has the most enormousappetite. It's unnatural, too, I'm sure. Yesterday I saw him sneakingabout after Baby. Do you know, I have an idea he could tell what becameof little Cousin Bass last summer. It made me shudder to see himwatching Baby with his big, greedy eyes. I went and told Grandfather,and they had some warm words about it."

  As they listened to this gruesome tale, the other little pickerelsturned pale and were silent. They did not recover their accustomedspirits until Aunt Bass bustled in among them, giving each a pat withher gentle fin. She was closely followed by Uncle Pike, who wasdriving before him Big Brother Pickerel and Miss Catfish. Big BrotherPickerel kept a protecting fin spread above Miss Catfish, and his boldfeatures bore an expression of defiance. Miss Catfish was pale andtrembling.

  "If I were in her place," whispered Miss Pickerel to her brothers andsisters, "I should want the earth to open and swallow me up!"

  The Pickerel Family and all the relations drew up in line and lookedwith severity at Big Brother Pickerel, who continued his protectingattitude toward Miss Catfish. At length Grandfather Pickerel spoke.

  "Grandson," said he, "it is more in sorrow than in anger that we aregathered here. Speak. Do you insist on bringing that young person intothis respectable family?"

  "I do," answered Big Brother Pickerel, firmly; "and as for therespectability of the family, I don't--"

  "That will do, sir!" thundered Grandfather Pickerel, in a terriblevoice. "So be it. Miss Catfish, consider yourself raised to our level.Your apartment is under the seventeenth cobble-stone to the left ofwhere the brook enters the pool. Spare your protestations of gratitude,I beg of you. _Our_ feelings are too deep for words."

  At this instant the proceedings were interrupted by a dazzling objectthat dropped into the water a short distance down the stream, and cameglinting and whirling through the pool. Big Brother Pickerel made adash for it, but Grandfather Pickerel hit him such a slap with the flatof his tail that he fell back, dazed, to the bottom of the pool.

  "Idiot! Look up and see what you were jumping at."

  When the others looked in the direction indicated by GrandfatherPickerel, they saw a most amusing thing. A dapper young man wasactually trying to deceive them with some scarlet feathers and a silverbangle at the end of a line. Even Baby Pickerel knew better. BigBrother Pickerel looked very much ashamed. He tried to explain that hisnervousness over domestic matters had temporarily warped his judgment.

  Grandfather Pickerel rose cautiously toward the surface of the poolto see whether any more formidable enemy was in sight. He saw Tootssitting on the boulder, but there was nothing to cause alarm in that.On the contrary, Grandfather Pickerel regarded Toots in the light of afriend and sympathizer. He had only one reason to be at all doubtfulconcerning him. He sometimes came down to the pool with the terriblyfascinating big man in the tattered straw hat. Grandfather Pickerelfelt a dyspeptic twinge in the pit of his stomach as he recalled hisexperiences with the big man. As he sank back into the pool, the otherpickerels noticed that he appeared grave and preoccupied. This meantthat the head of the family was turning something over in his mindthat he would shortly communicate to them. So they approached in arespectful semicircle, and waited expectantly. Grandfather Pickerelcast his eye over his audience, and asked:

  "Where is my son?"

  "Father has gone to see Aunt Bass home," answered Mother Pickerel; "hewill return in a few minutes."

  Grandfather Pickerel cleared his throat, and looking severely at BigBrother Pickerel, said:

  "I must again warn you of the necessity of using care and judgment inthe selection of your food. I will pass over the humiliating scene wehave just witnessed, simply reminding you that dazzling objects whichseem to drop out of the sky should never be construed as food. Myyoungest grandchild would be ashamed to act as you have done, sir!"

  Big Brother Pickerel hung his head, while Baby Pickerel swelledwith pride to twice her natural size. At this instant the brilliantcombination of scarlet and silver again came whirling through the waterabove their heads. The whole Pickerel family gazed at it without theslightest evidence of emotion, whereat Grandfather Pickerel gave them abenignant smile, and continued:

  "As a general rule, everything that drops into the pool is to beregarded with suspicion. Food never drops out of a clear sky. Whe
n thesky is dark with clouds it sometimes rains toads; that is different.I have yet to hear of a barbed iron hook being found concealed in theflesh of a toad. Insects and other morsels that float down the brookinto the pool come to us in the regular course of nature, and may beswallowed without question."

  Here Grandfather Pickerel stopped and reflected for a moment. Presentlyhe added:

  "Regarding objects that seem to drop out of the sky, I think of oneexception--grasshoppers"--the little pickerels smacked their lips atmention of this delectable morsel--"which may either fly into the poolfrom a distance or leap in from the bank.

  "I now come," said the patriarch, "to the most deadly danger with whichwe have to deal. I refer to the powerful fascination which seems to beexercised over us by those big two-legged creatures in tattered strawhats, carrying long, crooked poles over their shoulders, who come downto the pool and lure us to destruction with grubs impaled on sharp ironhooks. I don't know how to account for it," said Grandfather Pickerel,shaking his head and turning pale about the gills, "except on thetheory of hypnotism--"

  "Oh, here comes papa!" interrupted Baby Pickerel.

  But the others were gazing in consternation at the patriarch, who wasnow white clear to the tip of his tail and shaking with terror. He wasstaring upward with wild, distended eyes. The others looked also andunderstood. The big man was there with his crooked pole. They feltthemselves drawn toward him. He was throwing something into the pool.

  "Back! Back!" shouted Grandfather Pickerel. "Back for your lives!" Butthe warning was too late. Father Pickerel, approaching from the middleof the river, jumped at the white grub, and all was over. The bereavedPickerel family saw him dangling helplessly at the end of the big man'sline, then disappearing into the unknown world where there is nothingto swim in.

  "Back under the rocks, all of you!" thundered Grandfather Pickerel."There is only one thing to be done. I must have that hook, or soonthere'll be none left to tell the tale. Thank heaven, I have two soundteeth in my head yet."

  With bated breath and quivering fins the other pickerels peered outfrom under the rocks at the desperate struggle which immediatelyensued. It was short, but decisive. The waters of the pool were lashedinto foam. The little pickerels were half-mad with terror. All at oncethey gave a loud cheer. The victorious patriarch was returning. Therewas bloody foam on his jaws, but several inches of fish-line hung frombetween them. The aged hero paid no attention to the cheering, butswam dejectedly into the farthest corner of his den. Mother Pickerelfollowed him in silence. When she returned, her eyes were red.

  "Didn't Grandfather get the hook after all?" asked Baby Pickerel.

  "Hush, dear," said Mother Pickerel, wiping her eyes with the tip ofher tail. "Yes, your grandfather has the hook safe in the pit of hisstomach along with all the others, and it is paining him dreadfully."

  The Princess was still fanning the flies away from the face ofReginald. John was cultivating corn on the high bank of the river.Every five or six minutes he turned his team near by from one row intothe next one. Toots remembered John's extra pole and line concealedbehind the old cottonwood. He went and got it. But how about bait? ThenToots had a second inspiration. He recalled Grandfather Pickerel'sremark about grasshoppers. There were plenty of them all about. At thatinstant a fat one dropped out of the tree and lay with its long legs onthe rocks at Toots' feet. The boy, as tenderly as possible, stuck iton the hook and went back to the boulder. First, he would see what wasgoing on in the bosom of the Pickerel Family.

  Mother Pickerel was asking Grandfather Pickerel if he didn't think he'dbetter take a bite of something to stay his stomach till dinner-time.

  "There's some nice tender tadpoles over in the mouth of the brook," shesaid. "Do try half a dozen raw, dearie, won't you?"

  It was at that very instant that Toots' grasshopper, with the hookthrough the small of his back, jumped out of his hands into the pool.Before the boy had time to realize what had happened, the line and thenthe pole began moving of their own accord toward the water's edge.Toots grabbed the pole and was nearly dragged into the pool. He lookedaround and saw John turning his team on the high bank.

  "I've got him, John! Come here quick!" yelled Toots.

  Reginald awoke barely in time to seize the end of the pole before itand Toots had been dragged into the water. John came tearing down thebank, shouting at the top of his voice:

  "Don't fight him yet. Give him the line! Give him the line!"

  "He's got the line," said Reginald, "and he seems to want the pole,too. Now is the time when fifty yards of silk and a good reel--"

  "Here, give me the pole," said John; "we'll see who's master this time."

  Then followed a most exciting scene. When at last GrandfatherPickerel's nose appeared above the surface of the pool, John hadn'ta dry rag to his back. The big man was amazed to see that the oldpickerel made no attempt to bite off the line. When he had him safelylanded, the first thing he did was to look in his mouth.

  "Well, I'm durned," said John. "The old sinner hasn't a tooth left inhis head."

  As Toots gazed on the form of the vanquished patriarch, all his prideof conquest was swallowed up in a great wave of pity.

  "He'll never swallow any more fish-hooks, will he, John?"

  "Well, I guess not," said the big man; "the frying pan will stop allthat nonsense."

  "It seems a pity to fry the old chap," said Toots. "He's lost all histeeth and can't do any more damage."

  "That's so," answered John, good naturedly; "maybe you'd rather put himin the spring, and keep him for a pet?"

  But Toots was thinking of the grief of the Pickerel Family. How wouldMother Pickerel be able to get along with both Father and GrandfatherPickerel no more, especially considering the doubtful character of BigBrother Pickerel, with his tendency to overturn the established orderof society? When he had thought it all over, he said:

  "No, John, I'd rather put him back in the pool, where he can continueto care for the little Pickerels."

  And thus the patriarch of the Pickerel Family, wiser than any of hisrace, before or since, was restored to those who had such grave need ofhis guidance.

 

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