by Nathan Adams
“We both know these things take time to get over. You’re not thinking clearly about this. You have to admit that,” he said.
“Didn’t you just say yourself that there’s something there? How long does it take for you to realize how you really feel? How long does it take for you to understand that people have to move on sometimes?” I asked.
He looked up and let out a deep sigh before closing his eyes. “Wendy, how can I be sure you actually love me? You’re in a scary situation back home. An abusive brother-in-law who took all of your money is the only home you have, and you have a young son you have to take care of. Not to mention the fact that it hasn’t been long since you got the news about Jacob. Then here I come sending you letters. It’s not hard to believe that a woman would think she was in love in this situation,” he said carefully.
I frowned deeper still. “I can’t believe you. You think this is all fake, that I don’t mean a word I said to you. You think I’m just using you,” I said. I felt the hot tears streaming down my face. “I took a chance. With God on my side, I did what I knew was right. He was telling me I didn’t need to suffer anymore with Nathan. He told me my son deserved better. I always felt so warm when I got a letter from you, especially when we began to realize how we might feel for each other,” I said, bashfully playing with a piece of hair. “He would never steer me wrong, David. You’re the one for me. I need you to help me and love me all at once. It’s not one or the other. I feel so strongly for you, and I need you. You can’t let me down now,” I said as I wiped tears from my eyes with the back of my palm.
Suddenly I felt arms around me as David embraced me in a comforting hug. His chiseled features melded perfectly with my frame and gave me the deepest sense of comfort this world could afford. Something about the simple gesture hit me at my deepest levels, and I couldn’t help but let all of my pent up emotion flow freely. I cried for Jacob and what I’d lost when he left us. I cried for all the murkiness in my life. I prayed for God to deliver me from the darkness and show me the light. I needed his guidance more than ever.
David kissed my cheek. “Wendy, we’re going to be all right. I think we should just take this one day at a time so we know what we’re getting into. I can’t deny that what I said in those letters was all true—every last bit of it,” he said. “I don’t ever want you to think I didn’t care. I should have done the right thing and come and got you. I started the letters just to get to know you better. I needed someone who understood what I’d lost when Jacob died, too. My best friend left right in front of me. He knew he was going to go, but he was smiling the whole way,” David said, looking thoughtful now. “I got so wrapped up in the letters I nearly forgot what my real plans were. Then I started falling in love with you. I was supposed to bring you here, but then I got worried that I was stepping into territory I shouldn’t be. God knows that if Jacob was here, I would’ve never thought about something like this. I guess I’m still having trouble letting go, too,” he said.
I could understand his point of view now. Sometimes it was hard for me to remember I wasn’t the only one that had suffered a loss. I forgot that David was the one who saw him die. David was the one who was with him for the better part of four months straight. They had a bond, too. “David, you’re not betraying him by loving me,” I said quietly.
David looked off into the distant night not saying a word for a time. “It’s hard not to feel like it, but I can’t decide what to do with myself right now. You are a beautiful woman through and through. When I saw you on my doorstep, I nearly jumped out of my skin. I couldn’t believe it. You were more than even my imagination could conjure up,” he said as he finally stood.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“I think I need to pray on this, Wendy. Maybe then I’ll know what path to take,” he said quietly. His expression seemed pained, and I felt a mild guilt begin to seep in as he left me alone on the porch.
It gave me time to think about what had just happened, but truth be told, I didn’t want to. I was terrified of thinking about it from his point of view, yet I began to realize it could be seen as betrayal.
“Jacob, what were you thinking that day when you told David to look after me?” I asked the heavens. My only response was unsettling silence. I didn’t fight against that silence. I welcomed it. I needed the time to think, and so did he, but I hoped we wouldn’t lose what we already knew was there.
Chapter 4:
Valentine’s Day morning I walked downstairs as I normally did to get started on the cooking. I felt like a ghost in this house. David was much busier than normal because it was peak season for his business. I couldn’t tell whether I was coming or going. Maybe it was Valentine’s Day making me feel even more distraught. It was supposed to be a day of love, but it just wasn’t.
I got downstairs, and that’s when I saw it: On the table was a pretty card. It was decorated with fine ribbon and gorgeous lac and handwritten in fine calligraphy. Sitting beside it was a box of chocolate chip cookies. I wondered for a moment if my eyes were betraying me. Was it David, or perhaps Thomas had asked him to take him to get it? As much as a valentine from my son would make me grin ear to ear, I wanted it to be David’s doing. I wanted something to tell me that this would change.
I sat down at the table and looked at the card for a moment like it was a rattlesnake I’d just spotted in the grass. I was almost afraid to open it, but I finally reached for it and let my fingers trace over the beautiful details. Whoever put the card out for me had a good eye.
I opened it to read what it said and immediately I knew who it was who’d written this Valentine.
Wendy,
I know our time together has been bleak and filled with a lot of uncertainty. Although I know I’m working more often than I’d like and the days go on without much from me, I haven’t forgotten you. I never do.
Tonight I want us to spend some time alone and just talk. I’ve arranged for Thomas to stay with a neighboring family for the evening. Of course, this is all pending your permission, but I know the Jansons well. They’re good people that would treat him just like family.
If you’ll accept my offer, then I’ll be waiting tonight. We’ll make ourselves whole again one step at a time. That is my promise to you.
David
His words hit me like a bullet. I was shocked because it had come out of nowhere. David was a quiet man. He didn’t speak much, and he was mostly business. Maybe trying to distance himself from me was no longer working. That was the only thing I could think of in all of this.
I smiled brightly and hugged the valentine close to me as I squealed in delight. After all this time, I finally saw some light on the horizon.
When evening came, I made sure to keep my agenda clear. I had even paid special attention to what I was wearing and how I wore my hair. I’d pinned it up tonight—it was normally down—because I wanted to wow him before he even said a word.
It turned out to be the opposite when I saw him, however. He stepped out freshly shaven and clean-faced. His clothing was clean and pressed—not his usual workwear that I’d grown accustomed to seeing him in all this time. There was something endearing about how he looked whenever he’d just gotten done with a day of work, but this look on him made me blush and turn my head. You’d have never known this was a man who herded cattle and tended the land. He looked like a real gentleman. I knew he must have had this planned for quite some time. A getup like what he was wearing wasn’t something you just found.
The smile on my face couldn’t grow any wider, and I stood up to greet him. “David, I don’t know what to say,” I said as I looked him over once more before meeting his gaze again.
“Don’t say anything then,” he said with a chuckle as he walked over. He embraced me once more before his eyes met mine. I felt enraptured yet again, taken by his bold and masculine energy. “I guess you’re wondering what this whole day has been about,” he said with a smile.
“I can’t say I haven’t,
” I said.
He smiled and sat down. “This might be awhile. Better pour us up something good to drink,” he said with a grin.
“Cold water it is,” I teased as I moved over to get the pitcher. I felt so much more natural around him right now. I attributed that to the thoughts going on in my head. I was envisioning us cuddled closely and becoming a real family, not the strange and divided household we were right now.
“I got your money.”
The simple statement made me freeze. “What?” I asked in disbelief.
“I had Nathan hand it all over. I got the lawyers on it. They’re hounds for sure,” he said with a chuckle. “What good am I if I can’t fix simple problems like that?” he asked, grinning.
I moved over to him and sat his water down, but I was still in shock. “Then I’m finally done with Nathan for good,” I said.
He nodded. “Sure are. He won’t be messing with you anymore. I got the account set up in your name and everything down at the bank. You don’t have to worry about a thing.”
I placed my hand on his. “I thought I was bothering you so much, David. I didn’t know you … ”
“Now wait a minute. I’m not done,” he said grinning at me.
I stopped my sentence abruptly, but I couldn’t help but smile at him. “All right,” I said.
“You must have thought I was going to just abandon you and Thomas. Well, I want you to know I have no intention of doing something like that,” he said softly. “I shouldn’t have been so hesitant. We’ve been around each other for weeks now, and I’ve been a bit of a fool. A good woman is sleeping in the room next to me, and I can’t even bring myself to tell her how I feel,” he said sheepishly. “I guess I’ve never really been good with women. Jacob used to make fun of me about it. He said I could use some classes,” he said with a chuckle.
I couldn’t help but laugh, too. It sounded exactly like something Jacob would have said.
“I’ve never been with a woman in any kind of serious way. I’ve been a loner, and I thought I always would be one. I’ll admit it took me longer than it should have to warm up to the idea, especially considering the circumstances, but now I’m ready,” he said.
My smile began to grow. “So what do you mean?” I asked as the anticipation in my heart grew.
“I mean, I think I’m ready to stop being such an oaf and actually show you how I feel,” he said.
His hands laced with mine, and I could feel my heart speed up its rhythm. His lips suddenly met my own. I fell easily into his kiss. I had been waiting on this for so long. My every worry was cleansed. I knew now that David and I really did have something for each other. I wasn’t going to suffer anymore with Nathan, and my son would continue to live in a home he was happy in.
Our kiss lasted for a long time, but eventually we parted ways. Our eyes met for a brief moment before we both donned goofy expressions from having done something so intimate for the first time.
“Wendy Reins, I want to make you my wife—if you’ll have me,” he said suddenly.
I didn’t think I could grow anymore shocked, but when I saw him settle down on a knee and take my hand in his, I knew he was serious. “David?” I asked.
He pulled from within his pocket a ring. It was beautiful, glimmering and crystal clear. I’d never seen anything like it. Because we were such simple people by nature, I rarely wore jewels. This was a step I had never taken before. Even when I married Jacob, I never got a ring because we were so humble. But David wasn’t Jacob.
He had a hopeful yet nervous look on his face as he waited for my reply.
After I’d gotten over my initial shock and elation, I lifted my hand, and he placed the ring on my finger. It fit perfectly. I smiled at it, and then him, before I embraced him in a tight and sudden hug.
“You’re not going to have to worry again. If Nathan decides he has a problem, he can come up here, and we’ll talk about it,” he said with a chuckle.
“Now now, God don’t like ugly,” I said, pushing him a little.
We stayed in each other’s embrace for a long time. The feeling of security washed over me. I was sure now that I was forever in good hands after we’d vowed to marry on that Valentine’s Day.
Our wedding was simple with only close friends and family gathered. Afterward, Thomas was both thrilled and overly curious about marriage. About six months later, he was asking all kinds of questions. He had began to notice more about the things that went on around him now that he was older.
I was kneading some dough for rolls, and he was sitting at the table with some jam and sliced bread. “Why are you married?” he asked, not even looking up at me as he played with his food.
I had to think of a new way to explain this to him, but I was at least thankful there would be plenty of time before he was not only curious but also understood it. “Ma is married because she loves someone. Being married is how I get to show David that I love him,” I said.” Some people marry for other reasons, but for us, that was why we chose to.”
“Other reasons?” he asked.
“Some people have other reasons why they marry, but I can’t really say why. However, God smiles down on us when we marry for love. He expects us to mind his word and love the one you marry with all of your heart. One day, it’ll be your turn,” I said winking at him.
Thomas processed the answer before declaring, “Marrying is good!”
I laughed. Being a mother, I knew the many transitions he would go through when it came to girls and love. He might think girls were gross, but eventually he would understand when he met the one. I could only hope his marriage would never end as tragically as his fathers and my own. Hopefully no wars would begin any time soon, but I knew that wasn’t the only way to die. I decided it would be better to not worry for now, but it was always in the back of my head.
“You know it’s going to be different when he gets older,” David said from the doorway as he kicked off his boots.
Thomas turned around to see him and grinned. “Hey David.”
David smiled back. “Hey there. I’m glad you like what your mama cooked, but don’t forget to pick up your mess in the hallway. I don’t know about you, but train tracks and toys don’t belong in the middle of the floor,” He said pointing.
Thomas complained but after he finished his breakfast, he got up to do as he was told.
“I nearly kill myself on his toys every day I come in,” he said sighing.
I smiled. “It’s part of having a child in the house. You’ll get used to it,” I said.
He walked over and watched for a moment as I rolled the dough. I thought this might be a good moment to bring up something Thomas had said earlier in our on-and-off conversation. “You know, he asked me why I married you, and where his pa was.,” I said quietly as I continued my work.
David sighed and rubbed his hand through his hair uncomfortably. “It was bound to come up in conversation. I say we take this all one step at a time. He’s young and doesn’t understand these things yet, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”
I nodded and smiled. “Then I’ll do that. He loves you to death anyway,” I said. A thought suddenly struck me. “But is it OK? I want to keep his father’s memory alive. Jacob was a good dad,” I said.
At those works, a kinder expression crossed David’s face. “I’d never tell you to erase Jacob from his life, let alone yours. He’s a part of mine, too. God’s will was at work here. I don’t know for sure if we’ve done it all right, but he’ll let us know with time,” David said as he embraced me fully once more. This had become my favorite feeling in the world.
As he hugged me, I thought about what he said and realized just how much I believed him. Our lives had turned around completely, and I knew I couldn’t give credit to anything else in my life. He’d watched over me and delivered me through my roughest times right where I needed to be.
The End
Return to the TOC for Bonus Content
Eliza’s Baby Dilemma
The day offered promises of spiritual power and healing for those who found themselves astray from God’s enlightening path, and somehow, young Eliza Hutchins considered herself one of those people. Although her youthful purity, chastity, kindness, generosity and overall sincerity in all of her relationships potentially made her the perfect wife for anyone who had ever wished for one, it somehow didn’t happen for her.
And now, being almost 24 years of age, Eliza was starting to worry. Humbler and gentler than many other young, married women of her age, she knew that her pious, Christian behavior was the key to what she considered to be a happy, healthy marriage. After all, that was exactly what her parents had. What they tried, and what they managed to do successfully, was to imitate the humble behavior of their Savior in their every endeavor, and somehow, everything else seemed to magically take care of itself. That was what Eliza was brought up to believe: All you need to be is a good girl who obeys Christ, and you shall be rewarded greatly for your devotion.
Then how come Eliza was constantly made to miss her turn when it came to courting and marriage? Was she doing something wrong? Many a time, late at night when everyone else had gone to sleep, Eliza would kneel before her bed and address the only One she thought could clarify this confusing situation for her. What was true prayer if not a personal, private conversation with God? Even though He seemed to be quiet most of the time, she knew He was listening. She knew He was there for her. She just didn’t know exactly what His plan was for her, and she was more than eager to find out.
That afternoon, she was about to knock on the door to her parents’ room when she heard a heated conversation taking place behind closed doors. Although she knew listening in on someone else’s private conversation was wrong, curiosity got the best of her, and she caught herself cautiously leaning against the heavy wooden door trying to make out what the conversation was about. Although most of it was muffled to the point of inaudibility, she did manage to make out a few things.