by Ashley Maker
“I think I saw through the wall.”
Kade’s brow furrows, but he doesn’t challenge my words or tell me such a thing is impossible.
“Did you see it?” I ask eagerly, because if he saw it too, then at least I know I’m not crazy.
He shakes his head no, and my heart falls until he adds, “But I believe you. Your eyes turned gold again, and I could tell something more was happening.”
There’s no hesitation in his words, no doubting. He really does believe me, and that’s what tells me it’s real. This is all real.
The fragile calm shatters, and the tears crank up until I’m blinded by them. Kade must know easy assurances won’t help this time, because he doesn’t even try. He pulls me into his arms, and I cry onto his jacket, choking on sobs that quake through my chest. His arms are tight around me. They make me feel like he can keep the Sniper-Sight—if that’s what it is—out. After a while, the tears slow and stop. I shudder-sigh and begin to push away, embarrassed that my emotions always seem to go haywire around him.
He lets go and stuffs both hands into his jacket pockets.
Wiping at my puffy eyes, I say, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to lose it like that.”
“There’s nothing wrong with crying.”
“Right,” I say with a nervous, half laugh. “‘Cause it’s normal to meet a guy through a mirror and then cry on his shoulder in the same week.”
He smiles almost hesitantly. “That’s what I keep telling you. We’re not normal.”
I snort. “Oh trust me, you guys have perfected not being normal.”
“It’s not so bad. You’ll be able to do things normal people would kill to do.”
“But that’s not what I want! My mom kept me away from this for a reason. She hid me away, and I have to keep myself hidden, even if all I can do is keep the others from finding out what’s going on.”
Kade frowns. “You still want to do that? I’m not sure it’s the best idea.”
“I’m sure. I don’t want anyone to know. But how am I supposed to hide it when my eyes spaz out and change colors?”
His frown deepens. “Keep your eyes down when it happens.”
“Right, because nobody will see through that.”
“I’m sure you can improvise.”
“What if I can’t?”
The lines between his eyes furrow to the point he looks almost angry. My hand starts to rise automatically, drawn by the desire to smooth out those lines. I clench my fingers around the scratchy fabric of my windbreaker pants instead.
“If someone figures it out” —his gaze locks on mine— “pretend like it’s the first time it’s happened.”
I nod, a little unsure if my acting abilities are up to it, but it’s not like I have a ton of options. As I stare into Kade’s eyes, gratitude rushes through me, settling deep in my chest. He may have let me down before, when he knew little more than my name, but that’s changed. He’s helping me now, and somehow that changes everything else, too.
“Thank you,” I say with a tentative smile. A real smile. “For keeping it a secret with me.”
“I’m still not sure it’s a good idea.”
“Then why are you helping me?”
He jerks a hand through his hair and slumps onto one of the stools. “Because I know what will happen if I don’t.” Almost like he’s talking to himself, he says, “You’re going through enough right now. You can’t keep it a secret forever, but maybe by the time it comes out, you’ll be ready to deal with it.”
His words chill me, and I repress a shudder. I can’t help picturing laboratory tables, needles, and other sharp things. That must be what Mathias meant when he said he’d test me if I started showing signs. There’s no way I’m going to let that happen. And who knows? Maybe Kade is wrong.
Maybe if I’m careful, no one else has to find out at all.
20
“Why is all of this happening now?” I ask. “Why can I see through a wall now, and not a year ago? Or five years ago?”
Kade reaches out, and I let him take my hand. He tugs gently until I sit on the stool across from him. “The expertus comes on faster when you’re surrounded by your own kind. That’s one of the reasons the compounds were designed, to make it happen sooner. Initial phasing can also be triggered by extreme heightened emotions.”
Well, I’ve definitely had enough of that lately. But maybe….
My heart leaps. “So if I left, the phasing would stop? I’d be normal again?”
“I’m afraid not. Once the expertus is set in motion, it can’t be stopped.”
I let out a slow breath. “This is really happening, then.”
He rubs his thumb across mine, leaving behind a trail of tingling skin. “If you gave it a chance, you might like it here.”
“I doubt it. I just need to lay low until I can get out of here. Speaking of here, what do you guys actually do? We’re in the mountains. At a” —I make air quotes with my fingers— “compound. What does that mean? Who are you people, and why are you hiding away up here playing drill sergeant to a bunch of teenagers? What are they even training for?”
Other than a raised eyebrow, Kade’s expression remains the same. He doesn’t answer me.
I pull my hand out of his. “Well?”
His brow wrinkles. “First, you tell me what you think we’re doing up here.”
My ponytail swishes when I shake my head. “Nope. Not until you answer my questions. I’m sick to death of being deflected.”
Kade looks both annoyed and impressed. “Touché.”
“Questions. Answers.”
“All right, I’ll tell you. You’re going to find out soon enough anyway.” He reaches for my hand again like holding it is the most natural thing in the world. “Just because we’re different from humans doesn’t mean we’re inhuman monsters, although that’s pretty much what the Rogues have become. We’re not like them. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Logically, no.” I shrug and add, “But considering the things that have happened, yeah I guess so.”
“Good. All of us here are from Strain A of the Experior serum. We call ourselves the Corasha, but you’ll hear the singular version Cora thrown around. It comes from the Latin word cor or cordis, meaning ‘core’. We came out of the core strain of the Experior serum—the change serum. Unlike the Corasha, humans don’t change. They stay the same—idem.”
“Whoa,” I say when he quits slinging Latin words around like they’re cute little fun facts. “Slow down.”
“Hey, you asked,” he says with a smile.
“Um, yeah, but then you turned into a professor giving a lecture on a foreign language. For the record, I only speak English.”
Kade laughs. “Sorry. Occupational hazard.”
My head tilts as I eye him. “You teach Latin, too?”
“Negative.” He grins. “I couldn’t teach Latin if my life depended on it. That’s about all I know.”
“So all you do here is help teach Offensive Fighting?”
“Mostly. Sometimes I scout the border and fill in on surveillance.”
“Which explains the whole mirror thing.”
He nods, and the air in the Tower thickens.
What would have happened if he hadn’t talked to me? If someone else had been running surveillance that day? A chill goes down my spine when I realize how differently that whole situation could have unfolded. I could still be in the padded cell right now. I’ve been so angry at Kade that I haven’t stopped to think about how much I might actually owe him. He broke the rules to talk to me that day.
Kade glances at me like he wants to say something, but looks away instead. I understand what he’s doing. He’s giving me the chance to talk about it if I want to, and he’s giving me the same chance to let it go.
So I do. Letting something end allows for a new beginning, maybe even one that is better than before.
I stare at our hands and clear my throat. “How exactly does all the karate stuf
f figure into what’s going on here?”
“Well, it’s not exactly karate, but if our combat style had to be compared to a martial art, I’d say it’s probably closest to Krav Maga.” The clueless look I give him makes Kade laugh. “It’s an intense form of self-defense taught to the Israeli Defense Forces.”
So what he’s not saying is they’re all a bunch of nonhuman, genetically altered super warriors. Yep, definitely not getting out of this place anytime soon.
“And how much combat do you know?”
Now he’s the one staring at our hands. “I know a lot. If I didn’t, I would never have been asked to intern as an assistant instructor.”
“Does it also have to do with whatever Laila was going to say in her room that first night?”
His entire body tenses. “I’d hoped you hadn’t caught that.”
“It can’t be that bad after everything else you’ve told me.”
“It’s pretty bad,” he says, voice low and filled with pain.
“I’m sorry,” I rush to say. I know all too well how it feels when someone tries to pry into something you don’t want to share. “I shouldn’t have asked. It’s really none of my business.”
“It’s okay. You’re going to find out eventually, and I’d rather you heard it from me. Besides, you need to know this kind of stuff. It’s going to be your life, too.”
A shiver passes through me. I try to wrap my head around any of the things he’s told me about being a part of my life, but I can’t.
With a frozen expression, Kade says, “I was home for the summer after my first year at the compound. It was a warm night in July, so warm my mother left the windows open. She liked to air out the house at night.” He starts to smile but stops, his face crumpling into a frown, eyes closing. “We never saw him coming. The Rogue. He killed my sister first. She was only seven. By then, my parents had woken up and tried to fight him, but he was too strong. He killed my mother next and knocked my father unconscious—put him in a coma.
“All of the noise woke me, and I went to the stairs. I had these two knives. My father gave them to me when I came home. I was so proud of them I carried them everywhere. Back then I wasn’t very good at hand-to-hand combat, but I could throw knives, and I killed that filthy assassin while he was still standing over my father.” Kade opens his eyes. They’re filled with so much pain it makes my heart hurt. “One knife landed in his chest, the other in his throat. I still remember the way he clutched at them, the way his blood hit the ground before he did.”
The back of my throat burns with words I don’t know how to say, but I know I have to say something. What he went through is way worse than how I lost Mom. He killed someone.
He killed someone.
A part of me feels like I should be afraid of him. But he was just a child, and it was self-defense. Mostly, I just hurt for him, an ache so strong I can’t help reaching over and putting a hand over his. “I’m so sorry, Kade. That’s awful.”
He turns my hand over and traces the lifeline of my palm, the touch making my skin go crazy with little sparks over each nerve ending. “That’s when this became real to me, because the Rogues are out there, and they want us dead. You and me both.”
“Why would they want to kill me? They don’t even know I exist.”
“You’d be surprised what they know.”
“Well, okay, but that still doesn’t explain why they’d want to kill me.”
Kade reaches out and touches my left temple. “You can see them, Clare. You’re one of the only ones who can detect them by looking at them. If that isn’t enough, you can do it from a distance. The rest of us have to be fairly close. But you? You could be far away. In a crowded room, you and the other Seers have the ability to pick out a Rogue like they’re the only ones there. It’s only a matter of time until one of them discovers you exist.” His fingers trail down the side of my face before falling away.
I stiffen. The air seems toxic as I try to breathe—staggered breaths that make me feel lightheaded. Not only do these crazy super warrior people exist, but they also want to kill me. Kade’s words keep echoing in my head.
It’s only a matter of time…they want us dead…you and me both.
My eyes blur, and for a second I think I’m phasing again, but then a tear slips down my cheek. The saddest part is I’m so relieved. Relieved to be crying instead of changing. Because no matter what Kade says, I don’t want to change. And I definitely don’t want to be on some evil nonhuman’s hit list.
“Clare?” Kade asks, sounding worried. “Clare, talk to me.”
“I’m not—” My voice breaks and I start again. “I’m not like you. I haven’t grown up believing in this stuff. I’m helpless around you people. And I don’t know karate.”
Kade squeezes my hand. “You’ll be fine. I can teach you how to fight.”
“Yeah, and then what? What if they find me, and then what if I’m the one who’s not strong enough?”
“I won’t let that happen.” Kade touches my face again. It’s softer, more like a caress. My heartbeat spikes, the staccato straining against my ribcage. “I couldn’t save my family, but I can help you. I can protect you.”
The way he says it stems the flow of tears. Although it’s probably too soon, I believe him. I believe he could protect me. When he looks at me like that—like I’m somebody or something special—I even believe I can learn to protect myself. More than anything, I want that. I want to be untouchable. Invincible.
I don’t ever want to hurt again.
He pulls away and stands. My gaze drags across his movement. “You’ve had a long day. We should head back.”
Fatigue sweeps in like he flipped a switch inside of me. Sore and tired, I’m clunky limbs and sluggish moves that make getting down from the Tower even more terrifying than going up. By the time I finally get to the ground, I’m shaking all over and breathing hard. My eyes haven’t adjusted to the dark yet, so I shiver in the cold and wait for Kade.
I expect him to scale down the tree the same way he went up, but the black jacket stays on. Holding on to an edge, he lowers his body through, then lets go and freefalls to the ground. He crouches to absorb the impact, but there’s a horrible crunching sound, and my heart starts climbing up my throat when he doesn’t stand up. I start walking toward him, only to stop and put a hand to my eyes.
A split second of weirdness is the only warning I have.
There’s no fuzz, no blurring, just a sudden brightness in my eyes, like a light flared on behind them. Or within them.
It’s no longer dark.
Instead, the night is lit by a strange, faint white glow revealing light where shadows had been only seconds before. Kade isn’t hurt at all. He’s still crouched down because he’s burying the electronic keypad. He must have been closing the door while I was freaking out over him possibly being hurt. I can see him moving about so easily, like it’s broad daylight instead of dark night. Shock fills me. I scramble backward and fall onto my butt in the snow with a shriek.
Kade whips around and is by my side in an instant. I try to stand but stumble, and he catches me by the waist, his fingers gripping tight. My eyes latch onto his now gold-ringed eyes. The strange light illuminates his face. His eyebrows are drawn together and his lips are set in a thin line.
“What do you see?”
“You,” I say, “and you’re glowing.”
“You see light?”
“Sort of. I mean, have you ever watched those nature shows when they turn on the night cameras? It’s kind of like that.” I take in another glimpse of his gold-ringed eyes. “Except it’s in color and more detailed. Like your eyes. They look like eyes, not white orbs.”
“Amazing.”
“What? You can’t see in the dark?” I frown, still not entirely sure what Coras are, or what they’re capable of.
His gaze travels down my face, landing on my lips before coming back up. “Not that well. It’s all shadows.”
Neither of us moves
. He keeps looking at me like there’s nothing in the world outside of this moment. I begin to think he might kiss me.
I want him to kiss me.
He steps closer—I stop breathing—and reaches toward me.
Darkness swamps my senses so fast I don’t have time to prepare for it. I squeak and move into Kade, gripping his jacket with both hands. I can’t see a thing—not a single thing—and my eyes feel like I’ve just finished staring into a flashlight for half an hour.
“What’s wrong?” Kade asks in alarm. His arms wrap around me, and I’m pressed against his chest, still too stunned to move.
“I think I’m blind.”
“Blind?”
“I can’t see anything. All the light is gone.”
His hand moves up my back in a soothing motion. “Your eyes probably need to adjust. You’ll be fine.”
I’m not sure I believe him. How fine can I be after discovering I can see in the dark?
Slowly, the shadowy trees start coming back into focus. The skin where Kade held my waist feels hypersensitive. Like I’ve been pricked by a thousand tiny electrodes, and it should hurt, but it doesn’t. Not at all.
“Kade?” I pull back and look at the shadows where I know his face is. “What ended up happening with your dad? You said he was in a coma.”
“He died two weeks later.”
“I’m really sorry.”
His chest rises and falls on a sigh. “Thanks, Bambi.”
“Do you…do you think that’s what could have happened to my mom?” My eyes start to water. I blink against the tears and finally hold them back for once. “We were all by ourselves. What if a Rogue found her…killed her?”
Kade doesn’t answer right away. I wish I could see his eyes, get an idea of what he’s thinking. Finally, he says, “It’s always possible.”
Spider-like chills twine through me. “Do you think my father’s safe living alone?”