Seer

by Ashley Maker

  “Whoa.” I laugh. “Is that thing supposed to come off?”

  “No.” Kade grins and swings it around. With a grunt, he lowers the mantel onto the coffee table, turning it over in the process.

  The wood facing up looks different than the rest. Brow furrowing, I step closer to get a better look. My breath catches as I take in the intricate carvings covering the mantel. Trees and vines and leaves weave from one side to the other, creating a frame around three faces carved in the center. I don’t have to ask who the people are.

  They’re his family. His father with a crew cut and grim smile. His mother with soft eyes and a shoulder-length bob. Between them is a little girl with a long braid. Somehow, Kade managed to capture the innocence of her bright smile.

  “I’ve had to redo their faces a few times. I can’t get their features right.”

  I run a finger over the bumps in the delicate braid. “This is incredible, Kade. When did you learn to do this?”

  He wraps both arms round my waist from behind. “My dad taught me to whittle when I was a kid. I just kept practicing. He was a lot better at it than I am.”

  “It’s beautiful.” I grin and cover his arms with mine. “I never would have guessed you’re a closet artist, sneaking away to illegally carve on school property.”

  Kade laughs and presses his lips to the side of my neck, flooding the sensitive skin with shivers. “You’re the only person who’s seen it. Are you gonna turn me in?”

  “No,” I say breathlessly, turning and linking my arms around his neck. “Your secret’s safe with me. I owe you one of those anyway.”

  His eyes darken. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers before leaning in and kissing me with a tenderness that makes my head spin.

  I close my eyes and get lost in the vertigo. In the soft blend of pounding heartbeats and uneven breathing and the warmth of touching skin.

  A clouded, heady feeling floods my senses, until I’m burning, melting, pressing against him, all thought shoved away by the magnetic pull melding us closer. As close as we can get, and it’s still not close enough.

  “Clare,” Kade whispers against my lips, grabbing my hands.

  I brush closer and kiss his jaw. “Mmm?”

  He groans, fingers tensing on mine. “This is too fast. I don’t want to rush things with you.”

  I freeze, lips still touching his skin. Deep down, I know he’s right. I’m not ready for things to go any further. Not looking at him, I awkwardly pull my hands out of his and rub a thumb over my swollen lips, trying to catch my breath.

  “Hey,” Kade says gently, cupping my face with both hands. “Are we okay?”

  The pronoun makes my heart jump. All the unasked questions burst forth in a single word. “We?”

  His slow grin tells me he knows exactly what I’m asking. “If that’s all right with you?”

  I can’t help it. With a quivery smile I can’t hold back, I stand on tiptoes and kiss him again. The space between us vanishes, staying gone even after the kiss ends. I don’t have to think about the answer.

  With all my heart in, I smile and say, “Yeah. We’re okay.”

  34

  Towel-drying my damp hair, I sit cross-legged on the bed and wait for Kade to come out of the bathroom. After about a minute, the water cuts off, followed by the fumbling sounds of him getting dressed.

  The door opens and he steps out. Droplets of water glisten in his hair with a few dripping down his neck. He sets the bag of clothes he used in the infirmary on the floor and runs a hand through his hair, scattering the shimmery droplets.

  My mouth goes dry, and I have to swallow about a thousand times. I can’t believe he’s really going to sleep in my room with me. Alone. With the door closed. There won’t be any nurses coming in to check my vitals or adjust a machine. There won’t be any interruptions at all, and the whole situation is so not the way I imagined my first night with a boy to go down. In fact, not a single teen magazine prepared me for what a girl’s to do when her brand-new boyfriend is told to sleep in her room, and by an authority figure of all people.

  Not that I’m complaining.

  Having to hide our relationship sucks. Dinner in the cafeteria was pretty much us staring and smiling, then looking around to see if anyone else noticed we couldn’t stop staring or smiling. I don’t think anyone did, but it was still kind of awkward. If Mathias wasn’t such a massive jerk, none of this would be a big deal. We could hold hands and sneak kisses and take part in all the disgustingly adorable public displays of affection that every other couple does.

  I never thought I’d want that, but I do.

  My life has become so messed up, but Kade makes me feel normal. Undamaged. Or maybe not undamaged, but whole. Because he sees all the messed-up parts of me making up who I am, and he’s still here. I want to be alone with him. I want to kiss him just because, and I want to curl into his arms and talk about anything and everything.

  His lips twitch like he’s trying not to smile, and our eyes meet.

  “We should get some sleep,” he says.

  A fluttery feeling fills my chest. Bubbling with excitement and nerves and a boldness I’ve never felt before, I say, “Or you could kiss me.”

  His smile breaks through a millisecond before mine does. “Oh yeah?” Every nerve ending sparks into a frazzled mess when he steps to the side of the bed and takes the towel out of my hand.

  “Like a kiss good night, you know?” I gesture between us. “I’ve been told that’s how this works.”

  The smile on Kade’s face widens. My pulse jolts when he grasps my hand. I edge onto my knees as he pulls me into his arms. Then he kisses me, slow and somewhat exasperating, until I’m burning for more.

  “Did I do it right?” He teases my bottom lip between his.

  “I don’t know.” I wrap my arms around his neck. “I think you should try it again.”

  Kade laughs, and my heart aches with how much I care for him. Our lips are almost touching again when someone bangs on the door.

  I squeak and grip Kade’s neck tighter.

  “I’ll get it.” He kisses my cheek and unclasps my hands.

  He doesn’t sound worried, but I don’t miss the sudden dark look in his eye or the way his hands flex and clench on the way to the door. I glance at the clock on Laila’s nightstand. 9:42. After curfew.

  The banging stops abruptly when Kade opens the door a few inches, body blocking my view. I stand to get a better look but can’t see over the tight muscles of his neck and shoulders, visible through his white cotton T-shirt.

  “Where is she?” a voice demands.

  Tarry?

  Kade’s voice is tightly controlled, “What do you want?”

  “For starters, you need to get out of my way,” Tarry snaps. “Or I will make you get out of my way.”

  Kade counters, “You think you’re big enough to make me?”

  “Stop. What are you guys doing?” I grab Kade by the waist and tug, but his feet are planted and I end up staggering back. “Kade, it’s just Tarry. I’ll be fine.”

  Kade glances over a shoulder, lips set in a straight line. His eyes search mine before he steps away from the door. “Make it quick, Blaydell.”

  Tarry immediately shoves past him, barreling into the room. He sighs when he sees me and pulls me in for a bear hug. “I’m so glad you’re all right.”

  I’m pressed too tightly against his shoulder to say anything, so I nod.

  “I wanted to see you after what happened, but my parents wouldn’t let me until they figured out what was going on.”

  “It’s okay,” I mumble against his shirt.

  He steps back but keeps both hands on my shoulders. “It’s not. I really wanted to see you. Piper and I actually snuck to your room, but you were asleep” —he jerks a thumb over his shoulder— “and he told us to leave.”

  My eyes snap to Kade’s, and I frown. “They came to see me? But you never said anything. I just thought…I thought…”

&nbs
p; I thought they didn’t want to come see me. Or that they blamed me like Mathias did for what happened to Laila.

  “Dr. Miles said no visitors,” Kade says softly. “You aren’t supposed to get stressed.”

  My brow tightens. Of course Kade would do what Dr. Miles said, but he should have at least told me. I was so worried my friends didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. And he knew that….

  Tarry glares at Kade. “Oh sure, that’s what you say now. Why are you even here?” He points at Kade’s bag on the floor. “That better not be what I think it is.”

  Kade’s clenched knuckles are turning white. The hard look in his eyes is directed at Tarry, who tilts his head back and forth, like there’s a crick in his neck.

  I rush to get out an explanation before the two of them start going for each other’s throats. “Don’t freak out. He’s supposed to stay with me until Laila’s better. Your dad doesn’t want me to be alone.”

  “That is not happening. Come on.” Tarry grabs my arm. “We’re going to talk to my dad. He is not staying with you.”

  Chest tightening, I pull back and step toward Kade. I don’t want Tarry to talk to his dad about Kade leaving, but I have no idea how to make him see that without starting a war between the two of them. “It’s fine. Really. I don’t mind.”

  Tarry makes a choked sound of disbelief. His gaze pinballs between the two of us. “It’s true, isn’t it? You’ve fallen for the loser?”

  The look of accusation in his eyes makes me flinch. I swallow and can’t seem to catch a single breath. “Tarry—”

  Tarry’s face reddens, the Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “We need to talk. Alone.”

  “You’re upsetting her,” Kade says through clenched teeth. “You need to leave before I throw you out.”

  Something in Tarry seems to snap. Storming over, he grabs my arm again and jerks me away from Kade.

  I stumble to keep my balance. “Tarry!”

  Kade rushes toward us, face enraged. He slams into Tarry, hands shoving hard into his chest, knocking the hand off my arm. Tarry staggers and lands on Laila’s bed, muttering curses. I start to take a step toward him to see if he’s all right, but Kade pulls me back behind him, keeping a hand on my hip. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” I rub the blossoming red spots on my arm.

  Tarry stands and scowls.

  Kade’s voice lowers to a dangerous tone. “You’re not going to yank her around like that.”

  The intense glare contorting Tarry’s brow makes the hairs on the back of my neck prickle. I follow his gaze down to where Kade’s hand is still on my hip. The edge of my shirt got pushed up a few inches from all the chaos, and some of Kade’s fingers are pressing against bare skin.

  Body prickling all over, I fidget and yank the shirt down. Kade lets go of my hip and grips my hand instead.

  Shoulders going back, Tarry says, “I know everything, you pathetic poser. Your time yanking her around is done.”

  A muscle bulges in Kade’s neck. One ticks in his jaw. “You know nothing.”

  “You can’t hide from this one. Laila told me all about your orders. The only one who knows nothing is Clare. Unless you told her the truth. Did you? Did you tell her what my dad told you to do?”

  Shock sizzles in the air, paralyzing in its intensity.

  “Tell me what?” I demand, squeezing Kade’s hand. A sick feeling churns. “What’s he talking about?”

  “Oh, that’s rich, Kieran. Play the part till you get what you want, yeah? This is just like what you did to my sister.” Anger glints in Tarry’s eyes, softening only a little when he looks at me. “Don’t you get it? He doesn’t want you. He only wants what you can give him, and that’s to get him ahead, probably onto a tracking team.”

  Mouth opening and closing, I shake my head. “No. That’s not true. There could be—”

  The look in his eyes turns pitying. “Trust me, it’s true. The guy’s a complete fake. My dad told him to get close to you. To do whatever it took to gain your trust so they could find out if you were a spy.”

  My breath whooshes out in a grunt, and the room tunnels. Tarry has to be lying. Kade wouldn’t do that to me. He wouldn’t. But even as my heart screams no, I can’t help remembering he already did do that once, with the tape recorder. Still, that doesn’t mean he did it again—that he’s been faking this whole time.

  It’s not possible...

  Kade is glaring at Tarry, but he isn’t denying it. A sharp pain tears through my chest, scorching through every memory, every thought I’ve held so dear. I gasp from the pain and close my eyes.

  “Clare…” Kade grips my hand tight. Turns and cradles my face with the other.

  I open my eyes and stare at Kade, silently pleading he’ll say Tarry is wrong.

  He doesn’t.

  From the guilty look etched across his face, all of it must be true. The ripping pain worsens, snarling into every fiber of my being until it feels like I’m breaking from the inside out.

  How could I have been so blind? The signs were all there. Laila even tried to warn me, but I wouldn’t listen. I must have looked so stupid opening myself up to him. There I was handing over my heart, and the whole time he was probably cringing and counting the minutes until the job was over.

  A huge, elaborate lie—an assignment. That’s all I’ve been to him.

  Without a word, I pry myself from his touch and step away. Shaking my head, I sidestep when he reaches for me and bolt for the open door. A hand grazes my arm, and whether it’s Kade’s or Tarry’s, I don’t know.

  I race for the stairs, taking them two and three at a time, barely gaining my footing before lunging down more. The stairwell echoes with the thunking of someone’s pursuit. I run faster. Before I know it, I’m flinging open the front door and sprinting barefoot across the cobblestones.

  But I’m not alone.

  Running footsteps slap the ground behind me. Then they stop. Barely, I hear Tarry say, “Haven’t you done enough?”

  A cracking sound, followed by a groan and a string of cuss words.

  More footsteps.

  I push harder, giving myself over to the movement. The wind picks up against my flushed cheeks. My muscles stretch and pull, powering me forward in a burst of speed as I sprint down an all too familiar path into the outer reaches of the tree line. A low-hanging branch pops against my cheek and snags through my hair. Strands of black rip away as I lurch out of its clawing reach.

  “Clare!” Kade shouts from way too close behind.

  There’s no point in running now, but I can’t stop. A knot of madness in my chest has spread throughout my body. If I stop running, I’ll explode, I know I will.

  Arms close around me, and suddenly the ground is gone, the sky and trees tilting at obscene angles. The ground rushes back. We crash onto the forest floor. Pine needles and dirt scrape my face, and I cry out once before all the air is pushed from my lungs. Despite the fall, Kade doesn’t let go. His arms are wrapped tight around my arms and waist in a vice-like grip.

  I don’t know how long we lie sprawled on the grass, legs tangled together while both of us pant to catch our breath. My lungs feel like they’re bursting. Something warm oozes down my cheek. Sobs rise in my chest. Everything is blurry with tears, but I don’t want to cry in front of him. Not now.

  “Bambi—”

  The first tear falls. My heart and voice fracture. “Don’t. Don’t you dare call me that. Let go of me. Let go of me!” I thrash in his arms, pulling at his hands, attempting to loosen them.

  His arms only tighten. “You’re not going anywhere,” he says, voice thick with emotion, “until we talk about what just happened.”

  Something close to panic claws at my throat. My heart is on fire, and I struggle against him anyway before it finally becomes too much. I sob and bury my face in his chest, hating him for it. Hating myself.

  Kade holds me tight. His chest stops rising and falling. When it picks back up, he says, “I’m
sorry. What he said isn’t true. Not completely.”

  Not completely.

  “If it’s true at all, it’s still too much.”

  “Let me explain—”

  A short, harsh laugh scrapes against my throat. “Save it for someone you’re not faking it with. Why did you come after me? Why should I care about a thing you have to say?”

  “It’s not like that.” His cheek presses against my forehead. “Please listen to me. You have to listen to me.”

  “I don’t,” I sob. “I thought this was real. I thought we were real.”

  “We are. I swear we are.” His hands tremble against my ribcage and upper arm. “I made a mistake. I should have told you. I love you, Clare. Please—”

  A cry wrenches out, cutting him off. How can he say that? I can’t believe he loves me when everything between us has been built on a lie.

  Make it stop. I can’t take anymore. I can’t.

  I push away until Kade finally lets go and I roll onto my back. He sits up, and I’m glad for the distance, because even now, all I want to do is nestle against him and cry while he tells me everything will be okay. But it won’t. Not ever again. I’m not even sure I know who Kade is anymore.

  A pine needle digs into the back of my neck, but I don’t have the energy to get up. I cover my face with both hands and peek through splayed fingers at the shadowy tree branches overhead. “How could you pretend? Did you think I was too stupid to find out?”

  “I wasn’t pretending.” His voice comes out strained. “Yes, I went along with the plan, but not just because I was told to. From that first moment in the observation room, when you threw the bag at the mirror, I liked you. Before I knew what you could do or that you were a Seer. It was after I found out that I let it mess with me.”

  Like a magnetic pull I can’t resist, my head tilts, gaze shifting to find him sitting with elbows on his knees. Filtered moonlight reflects off his face. He’s staring off into the trees with a look of pain, the skin bunched around his eyes. As if sensing the scrutiny, he glances over. My heart leaps and plummets at the same time, hurting so badly I want to scream.