Suddenly, the comprehension of that statement is evident.
“I haven’t given it much thought Todd, but you’re absolutely right. This could change everything for you guys. It is what you’ve all worked so hard for, though; isn’t everyone hoping to make it big?”
“Yeah sure we are. It’s just that, when you realize that this could be our make it or break it moment…”
Ash offers his words of wisdom, “Todd, if this is meant to be, you guys will make it. I have no doubt. You’ve all got the talent, and you just needed someone to have a little faith in you and take you under their wings. With the Devil Dogs, I think you can get the exposure you need. They’re hot right now and if you guys just work hard, I know you’ll be there soon.”
“Yeah, Mr. H I think you’re right. We were pretty much in the right place at the right time, with that deal. I just hope to hell it all works out. Look, I gotta get the amp and head out. Tommy’s probably wondering where the hell I am. I’ll catch up with you guys later.” He bends down to grab his keys, shakes his head, and smirks, “What a fuckin morning. Jesus!”
Ash follows him upstairs, and helps him bring the amp down. I watch him helping Todd load the amp in the van, in nothing but his boxer shorts, and I have to laugh.
I playfully pat his butt, as we walk inside, “Talk about getting caught with your pants down, Mr. Harper.”
He cackles, “Yeah, how bout that?”
“That was quite the show. Guess I didn’t know how impressive the Giant would be to other people. I’m pretty partial to him, you know.” I bite my lip and wink.
***
That night when I get home from work, I drop my purse and keys on the entry table. I hear Ash in his office, talking on the phone. I discreetly stand outside eavesdropping, hoping he doesn’t see me.
“Yes, if we could leave on the twelfth, that would be perfect.” He props his feet up on his desk and scoots the chair in. “I’m really not sure if she does. Mine’s current. I’ll have to ask her, when she gets home. Yes, business class and we’d like to return on the 20th.”
He’s scribbling on a notepad. “Very good. You work your magic, and I guess we’ll talk tomorrow. I’ll email you some things I’d like for us to do, and thanks Mary Beth. I appreciate it.” He takes his glasses off, and is startled to hear me walk in. I put my arms around his neck and kiss his cheek. “Hey handsome. Who were you talking to?”
He looks up at me, grinning, “Well Miss Nosey, if you must know, I was talking to my travel agent about my birthday trip. I originally thought about going to the Caribbean or Costa Rica, but then I had a better idea.” He scoots his chair back and pulls me into his lap. “Ever been to Paris?”
My eyes light up with excitement. “Paris? Seriously? No I’ve never even been out of the United States.”
“Would you like to go?”
I scream, “Of course I’d love to go! How long would we be gone?”
He looks at his calendar, “Ten to fourteen days, is what I was thinking. I’ve got my travel agent checking on flights for us.”
“Two weeks? Gosh, I’ll have to see if I can be gone that long from work. We’ve been short-handed, and I don’t want to put Sarah in a bind without notice.”
He cocks his head, and confidently assures me, “Sarah won’t mind, trust me.”
“That sounds wonderful. I’m so excited. But I don’t have a passport.”
“I wondered about that, but it’s no big deal. We can get you one. So you’d like to do it?”
I clap my hands, and then hug his neck. “I’d love to go!”
“You’re gonna love it, Liv. I can’t wait to show you Paris. It’s so beautiful and romantic.”
“Tell me what you’ve got planned!”
He shakes his finger at me, laughing, “Oh no Sunshine, I’m not spilling my secrets. You’ll just have to wait and see. I’ve got several surprises brewing, all of which you’ll love.”
Just before we turn in for the night, my phone rings. I don’t recognize the number, so I reluctantly answer. “Hello?”
An emotional voice speaks, “Olivia? It’s Kathleen.” Her voice cracks. Kathleen is Alan’s older sister, who I haven’t talked to since before the divorce. Ash asks who it is, and I mouth the words Alan’s sister.
“Are you there?”
“Yes, I’m here Kathleen. You sound upset...is everything okay?” Ash looks at me with a puzzled look, and I shrug my shoulders.
She sniffles into the phone, “Look, I’m so sorry to bother you, but there’s been a horrible accident, Liv. Alan’s in the hospital. Kelly and the baby…” She’s sobbing uncontrollably.
I gasp and sit down. “Oh my God Kathleen, Kelly and the baby what?” I’m dumbfounded and numb.
“Kelly and the baby are dead.”
“Oh no!” I gasp. “Is Alan alright?” I jump up and start to walk around aimlessly, as she goes into details.
“He’s out of intensive care, and he was actually very lucky. The wreck happened on Monday. They were on their way to Nashville to see her folks, when the driver of an eighteen-wheeler fell asleep at the wheel and hit them head on. It was horrible, Olivia. Kelly and the baby were killed instantly. Kelly was decapi…” She breaks down again.
I’m sobbing, as I think of how tragic this is. What a horrible way to die. Kathleen regains her composure and sighs, “I’ve been here since Monday night, but I can only stay till Friday, because I’ve got a business trip. The funeral’s on Saturday and I know this is a lot to ask in light of what’s happened, but could you come for it?”
I’m caught off guard and unsure how to answer. I nervously bite my thumb nail, “Kathleen, what about the rest of the family? Isn’t anyone else there?”
The disappointment in her voice is evident. “Honey, no one else came. We’re still not fully recovered from what happened with you guys.” Her voice quivers, “Alan’s got broken ribs, and a lot of lacerations on his face and arms. Please Olivia, I’m asking you as a friend.”
I exhale and throw my head back. “Oh man Kathleen, I’ve got so much going on, and I have a job now. Give me an hour or so to see what I can do, and I’ll call you back. I can’t promise anything, though.”
Her voice sounds relieved, “Thanks Liv. If you can’t, I understand.”
When I get off the phone, I’m in a state of shock. I’m holding my side, crying uncontrollably.
Ash looks concerned, “Dear God honey, what’s happened?”
I relay the details of the accident, and I’m torn wondering what I should do.
He puts his hands on my cheeks and presses his forehead to mine. He exhales, as if what he’s about to say is difficult. “Liv, if you think you need to go, then you should.”
I put my hands on his arms. “Ash I’m so confused. What should I do? Should I go?” I desperately look to him for an answer.
He looks puzzled at my question, as he traces his fingers along my arms, “Honey, I can’t tell you what to do. I wish I could, but this has to be your decision. If you feel you need to go, then you should.”
I feel guilty for even considering it, and I don’t even know why Kathleen feels my being there would make a difference. Part of me is angry that she even had the audacity to call. Her goddamn brother walked out on me after thirty years of marriage, and now she’s asking me to show compassion? It boggles my mind even more that only one of his five siblings came to the hospital.
Ash looks eagerly into my eyes for my answer. “Well?”
I shrug my shoulders, “I guess I could fly in on Saturday, and come back Sunday morning.” I look to him to tell me if that’s the right decision, but he doesn’t. Instead he pats my back. “Let’s get online Sunshine, and get you a reservation.” He leads me into his office and I sit on his lap, while he handles all the details. “You’d better call Kathleen and tell her you’ll be there.”
Once she knows I’m coming, she’s both relieved and grateful. She tells me that Alan knows about Kelly and the baby, whose name is Anabelle.
>
For some reason, the next day at work, I dread having to ask for time off again. I first tell Sarah all about our Paris trip. She’s been so tolerable, and just seems to work around my schedule. I suspect she knows Ash too well and probably doesn’t want to ruffle his feathers.
She confidently laughs, “Olivia, of course you can have time off. You can set your own schedule, and I’ve told you that. I just wish you’d find me a handsome debonair man to take me nice places, and spoil me rotten. You’re so lucky, and the envy of every single woman in this town, believe me.” I then tell her about my trip to Nashville on Saturday and about Alan’s wreck.
“Oh shit, that’s awful. So is Ash okay with you going to the funeral?”
“I actually think he expected me to go, and he seems to be okay with it. He’s booked my flight and a room for Saturday night. I’m really pretty nervous about going, especially since I’ll be going by myself. You know how I am.” I roll my eyes.
“Well, Olivia you’re a better person than I am. I’d have told his sister to kiss my ass.”
***
Emily gets to the shop after class, looking overwhelmed and on the verge of tears. Between her and I, Sarah’s got her hands full. I’m stressed dealing with wedding details, and now I’ve got this funeral to worry about. If I really thought about it, I could cry myself. This has turned into one very hormonal day at the very least. With the wedding just a few weeks away, Emily’s got a lot on her plate, with her classes and work. It seems she’s unsure how to order the invitations, and get them all out before the wedding. Sarah affectionately grabs her shoulders, and offers her expert advice. Holding her index finger up with a twinkle in her eyes, she reassures Emily. “In light of the fact that the wedding’s almost here, why don’t you just consider doing electronic invitations? They’re totally acceptable these days, and I’ll even help you with a design. Come on.”
Hesitantly, Emily tearfully responds.
“Sarah, do you really think it would be all right? I can’t do a traditional invitation, because my parents aren’t the ones who request anyone’s presence at the wedding.”
Sarah gently takes her into her arms, “Emily, we can work around that love. How about we just start it out by saying something like Because you have shared in our lives by your friendship and love…”
“What a brilliant idea, Sarah!” I exclaim.
Emily’s face instantly turns from sad to happy, as Sarah takes her into her office to begin creating the perfect invitation. After about an hour, they emerge with smiles on their faces.
“Well?” I ask.
“We’ve got it all under control. Come see.” Sarah winks, and proudly says.
They usher me into Sarah’s office, and on the screen is the simplest, most elegant electronic invitation. It is ecru in color, with dark brown print, and a simple scrolling at the corner of the invitation
Because you’ve shared in our lives
With your friendship and love, we
Emily Noel Evans
&
Thomas Ashford Harper III
Request the honour of your presence
At our marriage
On Saturday, the fourth of May
Two thousand and thirteen
At 7:30 in the evening
I’m fascinated, and so pleased that Sarah came to the rescue. Emily looks genuinely relieved to have this daunting task handled. Now all she and Tommy have to do is firm up their guest list, which they estimate to be between 120 and 150 people, most of them musicians and friends of Tommy’s. Emily’s list is meager in comparison, but she seems unaffected. I find this has been the perfect distraction from my woes.
Saturday morning comes, and Ash takes me to the airport. He puts his arm around me, as he ushers me to where the skycap is waiting to take my bag. “Honey, I’ll miss you, but I love you and the fact that you’re such a compassionate woman, makes me love you all the more.”
Still unsure of my decision, I ask, “So you think I’m doing the right thing by going?”
His eyes are full of caring and compassion, as he plants a kiss on my cheek. “Olivia, I think you’d hate yourself if you didn’t. I know I have your love, and I’m not insecure one bit. As much as I hate Alan for what he did to you and the kids, I have to thank him for giving me you. Think about it.”
He’s absolutely right. If Alan hadn’t cheated and left me, I’d still be in my mundane life, and may have never known true romance and happiness.
“I’ll be here to pick you up Sunday evening, and I expect you to call me. Lots. I’ll miss the hell out of you!”
Once I board the plane for the hour and a half flight, I think about Alan. Kathleen said he would be released from the hospital, and would be at the funeral. I have no idea how I’ll react when I see him. I force myself to stop thinking about it, and get out a book to read. I notice a young woman sitting next to me, with a small baby. She’s got tattoos on her arm, and on the inside of her wrist is a musical note with a heart. She notices me staring, and smiles.
“I was just noticing your tattoos. They’re very cool.” I explain.
She tells me that she’s on her way to Nashville to meet up with her husband, who is a drummer in a band. She smiles, “They’re on the last leg of their tour, so the baby and I are gonna travel with them.”
We make idle conversation, until something catches my eye. I look across the aisle and notice an older man with an attractive younger woman, who looks like she could be his daughter. She’s nipping at his ear, playfully teasing him and I can tell he’s becoming aroused, as he discreetly places a magazine over his lap. I breathe in deeply, and put my head back on the headrest, thinking to myself that this could be Kelly and Alan. Is this how they behaved when they went on a business trip? Did she grope him? Were they openly affectionate? I turn to my left side and stare out the window, looking at the billowy white clouds, as I listen to the hum of the plane’s engines.
Once I arrive in Nashville, I get my car and head to the hotel to drop off my things. The vision of the couple on the plane keeps flashing before me, and I now question my decision for coming. I’m angry, and the hurt I’ve put behind me, suddenly rears its evil head.
I check into the hotel and the bellman shows me to my room. I’m astounded; Ash has reserved an executive suite for me and I smile through tears, as I’m reminded what a wonderful caring man I have. There is a breathtaking view of the city from my room. As I gaze out the window, I get a text from my love.
‘You all settled in? How do you like your room? Going into a meeting. Will talk to you later. ILY! A’
Missing him already, I immediately text back, hoping he’ll get it before his meeting.
‘Has anyone told you lately how wonderful you are? BC you are and ILYB, more than you love me! Your O.’
He responds with a thumbs up emoticon, and I smile.
I call Kathleen to let her know I’ve made it. The funeral’s at three, so I have a few hours before I have to leave for the church. The service is at a historic Baptist church, which is a little over a mile from here, according to the bellman.
Apparently Kelly grew up going to this church, and I had no idea that she was strong in her faith. I would have thought a very religious woman would not also be an adulteress, but what do I know? I change into a black pantsuit, which ironically, I wore on the day of my divorce. Why in God’s name I picked it to wear today, I have no idea. The only difference is that today I’ll be wearing a kelly green silk blouse, instead of the red blouse I wore on D-day.
Again, I question my blouse selection. It’s funny how the mind works. I honestly didn’t choose the blouse because of Kelly.
The weather in Nashville is a cool 55 degrees and overcast, which makes me think that maybe God has decided this is not such a sunny day, after all. I completely dread going to the funeral. and contemplate just not showing up and just spending the whole day in this beautiful room all by myself, but realize I can’t do this to Alan. As much as he’s hurt me, I
was married to the man for thirty years. and I think I owe it to him to lend my support. He’s got to be devastated, and I can’t imagine having happiness taken from you in a split second. The radio is on in my room, playing soft rock music, when the song New York Minute by the Eagles comes on. As I listen to the words, it makes me cry. Your life can totally change in a matter of minutes, and everything can be gone just that fast. Never in a million years would I have ever thought Alan and Kelly would be in a car accident, and one that took her life.
As the time comes for me to leave for the church, I suddenly get really nervous. Where shall I sit? Should I approach Kelly’s parents? What will I do when I see Alan? Dear God, just get me through this.
Just before I walk out the door of my room, Lainey calls.
“Mom, I’m so sorry I can’t be there with you. Ash said you’re by yourself, and I know you’re freaking out.” My girl knows me so well.
I reassure her that I’m not freaking out, and that everything is okay. I ask her to call Alan later on, and offer her condolences.
“I will, but honestly Mom? I don’t know why you even went. Geez, don’t you have enough going on in your life right now? A card or flowers would have been fine.”
***
After my plane ride today, I realize she’s right. I should have just sent flowers.
I try to make light of her remarks, “Lainey I’m not going defend my decision. I’m here, and it’s done. I’m gonna grab a quick sandwich, then I need to find the church. I love you.”
I smoke a cigarette on the way to the church, to take the edge off. Once I pull up in the parking lot, I’m stunned by the droves of people filing into the church. The beautiful red brick church is massive and it is indeed, very old. The bellman at the hotel told me that the church has been in existence since 1867 and that the building, as it is now, has been around since 1907. He said that 2013 marks the 146th year of the church, which is pretty fascinating. I walk in and find the perfect place for me to sit, which is on the very last row. The sanctuary is old, but beautiful with lovely cathedral windows, adorned with ornate colorful stained glass, creamy white walls with heavy dark beams on the ceiling, and an enormous pipe organ. The pews are old and wooden, with thin brown padding. The church smells old; not in a bad way, but in a rustic historic sense. I sit in my seat and gaze around at the ornate architecture. I look up at each stained glass window pane, and in my head I recite The Ten Commandments as I remember them. I watch people extending their sympathy, to what must be Kelly’s parents. I wonder if they knew she was an adulteress. Did they know she stole my husband? Did they know she was pregnant outside of marriage?
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