She whimpers, “I don’t know, Olivia. I’m so...so confused right now.”
I make one last attempt to convince her, as I clear my throat. “Todd’s a private person and he’s not used to sharing his feelings. It’s kind of a front he puts up. He has a hard time opening up to people, and he’s not going to share something, if he doesn’t have control of the situation. In this instance, he definitely felt he’d lost control. I don’t expect you to fully understand, but at least try Kyra.”
Reluctantly, she agrees to wait for me to come pick her up. I let Todd know that I’m going to the airport in a cab and that Kyra has agreed.
He throws his head back and puts his hands over his face, exhaling a sigh of relief. His face lights up. “I’ll go with you. Let me grab my wallet.”
I hold my hand up, “No, Todd. She agreed for me to come get her. You stay here and go to Brian’s room. You and Ash need to take care of him. I’ve got this under control, I swear.” I put my hands on his shoulders in an attempt to convince him. “You’re emotional, she’s emotional and together you two won’t do anything productive. I’ll text you when we’re on the way back.”
His shoulders start to relax. “Fuck Olivia, I owe you so damn much. Why do you put up with all my shit? I owe you my life and I just want her back. Let her know that I’d never cheat on her. I love her goddammit. Can you do that for me? Please?” The pleading in his voice makes me all the more determined to get back here with Kyra.
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. “You wanna go smoke while you’re waiting on the cab? I really fucking need one. Bad.”
I laugh and slap him on the arm. “Yeah, let’s go have one. Even though it’s only seven, I’ll have one with you. Call me a cab and you’re paying for it.”
We’re smoking, as the cab pulls up. He puts me in, gives me a thumbs up, and taps the roof as the car pulls off.
Kyra’s waiting outside the terminal, as the cab pulls up. Looking distraught, it’s evident she’s been crying and her eyes are swollen. As I take her into my arms, she sobs. I hold her tight and feel her despair. I take her face into my hands and smile. “Honey, Todd is a good man. And I know in my heart he would never ever cheat on you. He loves you so much, so please don’t be hard on him.” I wipe her tears with my thumb. “Look, I know you’re hurting, but this is killing him and I want you two to work things out, so just give him a chance that’s all I ask.” She nods and puts her head on my shoulder.
On the way back to the hotel I’m curious, so I call Ash. “What’s going on? How’s Brian?”
“Liv, he’s in pretty bad shape. I’d venture to say he’s been using for longer than we think. The kid needs help. Look, when you and Kyra get back to the hotel, I don’t want either of you to come to this room under any circumstances - understand? You don’t need to see this. Just take her to our room and later, Todd and I will come to you. We’ve got some major decisions to make, and the rest of the guys need to be in on this as well. We’ll figure it out. Jesus. This is bad, Liv.”
Once we get back to the hotel, I take Kyra to our room. Ash has sent coffee to the room, so Kyra and I sit and wait for Todd and Ash to come in. We curl up on the bed, make small talk and I can tell Kyra is hurting. She asks me if I know about the argument they had, and I confess that I did. “Kyra, I did hear. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help it.”
Her eyes are closed, as tears fall from her eyes. “When I saw him standing there...half naked with wet hair…I just… I thought.” Her breathing is labored, as she gasps while crying. “I...I didn’t want to think he was with someone else, but he left me in the room for hours. I just...” I stop her and take her hand. “I know honey.”
Soon Ash and Todd come into the room. Todd and Kyra stare at each other, at a loss for words as Ash and I look at each other wondering, should we stay or go? Ash whispers in my ear that we should give them some privacy. As we turn to leave, Todd asks us to stay. “Mr. H, Olivia - I have nothing to hide. I want you all to know that.” With tears in his eyes, he makes the first move and takes Kyra into his arms. She’s crying, as he envelopes her body in his arms, caressing and kissing the top of her head. Clearly he’s not afraid to speak in front of Ash and I.
“Baby, I’m so sorry. I just couldn’t tell you. I fucking love you so much.” He tips her chin up to where he’s looking her in the eye. “Please don’t be mad at me. I need you so goddamn much Ky and when you left, I just wanted to die.” He grabs his chest, “All the life was sucked out of me. Can you even forgive me?”
She dissolves into tears and whimpers through her words. “Babe, I’m so sorry too. I didn’t know. I didn’t know.” She puts her face into her hands. “I thought you cheated on me and I wanted to believe that you didn’t, but the way you were dressed - you just left me in the room for hours. What was I supposed to think?”
He gets down on his knees and looks up at her, while taking her hands into his. He’s rubbing the top of her hands nervously, as he professes. “Kyra, in front of Mr. H and Olivia, I swear to you on my life, on my parent’s grave that I didn’t cheat.” Exasperated he holds his hands up, “Why in the world when I have you, would I even think of being with anyone else? This shit with Brian’s fucking tearing me up. I can’t fix this and I’m so mad at myself. I fucking can’t fix this, Ky. Brian has to go somewhere for help. But I didn’t cheat baby. I love you.”
She takes his head into her hands and looks down at him. “Todd, I love you. The thought of you being with someone else… I couldn’t take it. I’d just die if you cheated, babe. I’m sorry, but I just thought you did.” She shakes her head and sniffs, “Seeing you dressed the way you were and hiding something from me… just made me think the worst.”
He rubs the tears from her face and looks at her adoringly, “I know baby, I know. You don’t have to worry about me cheating…it won’t happen ever.” He crosses his heart. “I swear.”
I’ve got tears in my eyes from witnessing this. He loves Kyra with all his heart and clearly he’s at his wit’s end with Brian. Letting this secret out, has got to be a tremendous load off his mind.
Todd and Ash talk for a while and he tells Ash that there is a guy from New Orleans they can call to fill in for Brian, if he’ll agree to go into rehab. Rowdy Joubert is his name. The next thing will be a band meeting, an intervention, which Todd says he’ll organize. Before Todd and Kyra leave for their room, they thank us. Kyra goes for her bag and Todd stops her. “I’ve got it babe.” He looks at me and holds my hand up showing Ash the thumb I’ve picked to pieces. Laughing, he remarks. “Mr. H., make her put a band aid on this would ya, or get her a glove to wear. She’s deadly on that thumb.”
I swat him, “That’s what you kids do to me when you fight.”
He cocks his head and grins, “Oh so now you’re saying it’s my fault?”
I shake my head, “Yeah, something like that.”
With Rowdy flying in tomorrow, the plan is for Kyra and Emily to go to the airport to pick him up. He’ll come back to our room and wait for Todd and Tommy to send for him. I don’t envy Todd one bit, having the dreadful job of talking to the guy.
We all go to the venue, and I feel guilty keeping the secret from Tommy and Emily. They, like the rest of the guys, know nothing. Soon enough, the secret will be out and hopefully, Brian will agree to get the help he so desperately needs.
Tommy and Emily innocently ask how we slept and Ash nods, then mouths, great. No mention about Brian or Kyra. Tommy and Emily’s room was on another floor from ours, thank God.
Before the show, Todd introduces us all to members of Devil Dogs and they’re a seemingly nice bunch of guys. Equally as tatted and pierced up as our Avenue guys and I loved meeting them. One of the guys, Tank, who plays drums, walks up to Todd and I as we’re talking. His head is shaved and he’s wearing a red t shirt with the sleeves cut off. In a provocative manner, he looks at me while asking Todd, “So who is this little lady? I missed the introduction.”
Rather curtly Todd answers him. “This is Olivia.”
In a low husky voice he responds. “Ah, nice to meet you. I’m Tank.” He winks and touches my arm, pulling me in for a hug.
Uncomfortable with his forward manner of introduction, I move away and extend my hand. He takes it and laughs, as I excuse myself, and head to the restroom. When I come out, I see Tank and Todd in the hall talking. Todd looks upset and has Tank by the arm. They don’t see me and I listen to their conversation, hiding behind the door frame. “Dude, that was not cool at all. She’s soon to be Tommy’s fucking step-mom, you asshole. Show some respect.” Todd says.
“Yeah, but she’s definitely a MILF, dontcha think? Haha!”
Todd’s reached his limit and pushes him up against the wall, with his elbow at Tank’s throat. “Don’t you EVER fucking call her a MILF, you mother fucker, you understand? That’s Tommy’s mother and she’s off limits to you and your fucking remarks, you sick fuck. You so much as lay a hand on her, or talk disrespectful, and I’ll beat your fucking head in. You got it? We clear?”
Tank looks at Todd in dismay, raising his hands in a surrendering manner. “Dude. Chill, I just made an observation. Jesus Christ, don’t get all fucking postal on me!”
Todd points his finger in Tank’s face and talks through his teeth, “Just giving you a head’s up, asshole. She and all of the other women in our group are OFF limits, Tank. Don’t make me have to remind you.” With that, he slams Tank into the wall.
I walk out and Todd grabs my arm, as he quickly ushers me to our table. The look on his face tells me he’s angry.
“That Tank guy is weird.” I say.
He scowls and shakes his head, “Yeah, he’s a fuckin piece. I want you to stay away from him, Olivia. Promise me?”
I nod my head and point my finger at him. “But he’s not worth getting into a fist fight over.” When we get to my chair, I look up at him and ask, “So what’s a MILF anyway?”
He pounds his fist in his hand. “You don’t fucking want to know, Olivia.” He has a disgusted look on his face, as he shakes his head.
“Yes I do - what is it?”
He rolls his eyes and exhales through his nose, as he puts his arm around me. “It means ‘mom I’d like to fuck’ - okay? Look, he’s an asshole and I want you to stay as far away from him, as you can. I don’t need to be beating the shit out of him and believe me I will, if he fucking comes on to you. So please just stay the fuck away from him, would you?”
I shake my head in disbelief and I’m pissed off. “That’s just disgusting. I don’t look like that.”
He looks back at me and grumbles, “No shit Sherlock. He’s a fucking perv. Just promise me you won’t talk to him.”
I nod, as he pulls me into him, giving me a hug with a conciliatory look on his face. “Jesus. Fuck I’m sorry, but I lost it when he said that. I’m protective of you, in case you haven’t noticed.” He rubs his forehead with his fingers. “This whole scene is full of sex and drugs, and sometimes I just wish we were all back at The Bank, doing our thing, going home every night. Just living a normal life.” He throws his head back in frustration, “Do we really even want this? I fucking don’t know any more, Olivia. It’s not what it’s cranked up to be. It’s fucking traveling, being away from family and our loved ones. Shit. I just don’t know anymore.” He runs his hands through his hair and lowers his head.
I put my arm through his, “Todd, sometimes you have to go through hell to get what you want. Kinda like the song…You go through hell to get to heaven.” I grin. “You guys are so talented and your career is just taking off.”
He looks at me with a doubtful look on his face and I reassure him, “We’re all here for you and you know it. Before long, you’ll all be home and you can decide what you want to do. Let’s just get Brian taken care of, and things will be fine.”
He takes a swig from his beer and loudly burps from the side of his mouth, “So let’s change the subject, when are you and Mr. H headed to Paris?” He laughingly slaps my arm. “You haven’t even fucking told me about it. Aren’t you even excited?” I can tell he’s trying to change the subject to lighten his mood.
I slap him back. “I’m so excited! I’ve never flippin been out of the United States.” I want this to be a good birthday for Ash. I think to myself about the surprise I have planned for Ash on the night of his birthday. I’ve secretly been taking cardio strip tease classes…yes strip tease classes! I signed up for private lessons, because I just can’t do this as a group, but I felt this was something Ash would love. I’ve gotten really good actually, and it’s fun.
Ash and I go back to our room after the show, which I might add was packed. Avenue was amazing, and it seems every performance adds more and more fans. On the elevator back to our room, Ash embraces me. “Liv, the boys are awesome. I’m so damn proud of them.”
He puts his hands up to his temple and shakes his head, “Jesus. What if they really make it big? This could be huge. Their music’s finally getting noticed.”
I pull his face into mine, “Proud papa, when they make it big we’ll be there every step of the way, you can believe that.”
***
Once we get back to the room, we see who can strip out of our clothes first. Ash walks out of the bathroom and I giggle at the sight of his erection, standing at attention.
“You up for a little late night performance?” He looks at me and then down, grinning.
I laugh, “Of course I am. I see you and my Giant are ready.”
“Ready, willing, and able.”
He caresses me gently and I’m tingling with anticipation. He murmurs, “Just looking at you tonight and not being able to do a damn thing about it till now, gave me blue balls, I hope you know. How do you even do that to me?”
I take the Giant in my hand, rubbing and savoring its length and readiness. “Ummm, I’ve been thinking of you all night too.” I softly blow on the happy trail and look up at him.
“Nice goods you’re packin there, by the way.” I flirtatiously say and wink.
With his head cocked to the side, he gives me a devious look as his breath hitches, “Glad you like what you feel. I’m all about the pleasure.” He nips my ear and murmurs, “Why don’t you lay back and let me drive for a while?”
He lays me on the bed and begins to caress me. First he raises my arms and starts rubbing them, slowly moving to my breasts. He lingers there, breathing softly, while playfully exciting me. I’m turned on and my reaction is evident, as he blows on my tummy, which arouses me further. He splays small kisses down my stomach, giving me goosebumps, and my back arches from reflex. This man is in total control and his sexual expertise never ceases to amaze me. How in the world did I miss out on this all these years? In the short time we’ve been together, I’ve learned so much about myself, not only as a person, but as a sexual being. He makes me feel like I’ve never felt, as my silly inhibitions are dwindling, as I willingly become more open to new things. I’m confident being playful and flirting with him. Nudging my neck while kissing it, he slowly turns me on my stomach and lays on top of me, rocking from side to side. With his knee he slowly parts my legs, and I moan as he stretches my arms out in front of me, to where I’m totally at his mercy.
He softly murmurs in my ear, as he nips at it lightly, “Liv, do you know how much I adore your body?”
My body shutters in response, “Umm.”
He wraps his arms under my stomach and carefully lifts me onto all fours, blowing in my ear, as my neck responds to the sensation. My body is tingling in anticipation, as he places his hand firmly over mine. Together we rub between my legs and I gasp, throwing my head back. The feel of his muscular body against mine is intoxicating.
His breathing quickly escalates, “I wanna show you something amazing. Are you up for trying it from the back?”
I whisper, “I’ll try, but I’ve never done it like that.”
He nudges my neck with his chin. “It’s okay honey. L
et’s just try. If it hurts too bad, I’ll stop.”
I hear a squirting sound, as I turn around to see him rubbing himself, and his breath hitches. He whispers in a low voice, reassuring me. “It’s just a little lubricant. I’m gonna get you prepared.” He rubs some of the liquid on my backside, then slowly inserts one finger, gently gauging my reaction, as I moan. “You okay?” He breathes out.
I nod, as he adds yet another finger. My body is stimulated, as my hips rock accepting them. He breathes in and exhales, while gently stretching me. “God Liv, I want you to experience something that’s so…Uhh!” I feel the beginnings of a penetration, but I’m much too aroused to resist.
He moves into me, as he groans, “Liv...I want to…”
All I can do is moan and roll my hips to accept him. “Umm.”
He lowers me onto the bed and whispers in my ear. “It’s gonna hurt baby. I’m not gonna lie to you.”
I’m actually turned on, just hearing his voice saying the words. My body’s ready and willing to try this, but still I’m scared to death. I’ve never in my life considered doing this, but I’m curious and I’m ready to give myself to him, as I nod my head.
He moans into my ear, “Okay Sunshine?”
I breathe out as I plead, “Just be patient with me.”
He grunts through his teeth, as he slowly enters me, “Oh, baby patience is my virtue. If you’re uncomfortable, or if it hurts too badly, tell me and I’ll stop.” He passionately kisses the back of my neck, while blowing softly, which brings chills over my entire body. He’s rubbing himself into me, gentle and slow, as he inches in, moving his hips. My body reacts with pleasure to his deeper penetration.
I drop my head, “Aww!” I cry out. Dear God this hurts so damn bad, but it hurts so good. Can I really do this?
He gasps, holding my hips tightly, he says, “Push out baby. As I go farther in, push out.”
I breathe out through my mouth and wince, as he withdraws kissing my neck and whispers in my ear, breathing heavy, “Need me to stop, Sunshine?”
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