by Regina Cole
“She’s not my problem!” I yelled the words at the ceiling fan, which kept up its lazy twirling despite my argument. “I know she’s upset, and I know it’s about school, but I don’t know why it’s not better yet! I can’t help. She’s not my problem. She’s my apprentice, not my fr—”
I stopped because I couldn’t finish that thought. I hadn’t wanted this, but she was my friend. Lying to myself wasn’t any good.
Sinking onto the couch, I crossed my arms and stared straight ahead at the black TV screen.
She’d become my friend sometime in the last couple of weeks. Talking, laughing with the guys, even with the customers. She’d draw little cartoon animals on the corners of the reports she ran for me every day, making me laugh with the clever characters. In the shop’s downtime, I found myself leaning against the counter, chatting with her as she worked on her drawing or on the shop’s social media marketing. We’d talked about music, shows, favorite foods; hell, I even knew that her first pet was a rabbit named Beanie.
I’d had enough of her being sad. But what the hell was I supposed to do about it?
With one last glare at the clock, I got up and headed for the door. As I locked the deadbolt behind me, a thought struck me. Simple, but it might work to help her smile again.
Rounding the corner of the house, I walked to the shed that housed my garden tools. The clippers were in a drawer at the back, and my final destination stood only a few yards away, in my neighbor’s yard. Pulling a little Mission Impossible, I sneaked to the property line, glancing around to make sure no one was looking. All clear. Reaching up with the clippers, I cut a huge magnolia blossom from the tree. They had several more; they wouldn’t ever notice this one was gone.
I trotted back around to my driveway, careful to stay in the shadow of my house. Cradling the blossom gently, I tucked it inside my backpack. There. I’d tell her it was a test, for her to practice drawing. But I knew it’d make her smile.
As I cranked the bike’s engine, I shut my eyes for a second. Everything had been way too dark lately without the sunshine of her smile.
Chapter Fifteen
Hailey
I was more than relieved to leave campus at lunchtime on Friday. Ever since that weird conversation with Dr. Fields in the dining hall on Wednesday, I’d felt like a rat, scurrying across the campus, trying like hell not to be seen. I’d emailed him to say there had been a problem with my grant paperwork and I’d had to go to the registrar’s office instead of meeting with him as he’d asked—well, demanded. His reply had been short, almost curt, but he hadn’t called my bluff, thank God.
On the bus to the shop, I ate a bag of pretzels, trying to crunch quietly so as not to disturb the people sitting around me. I could have gone to the dining hall—Courtney and Lily would have been there, probably—but I couldn’t face being in there, scared I’d run into Dr. Fields again. I wasn’t supposed to work for several more hours, but I was going in anyway. Even though things at the shop weren’t exactly perfect, it was much better than holing up in my room and going stir-crazy.
As I bit into another pretzel, a gale of laughter from the seat behind me made me jump. Wishing I could feel that happy, I looked out the window. As the bus passed through an intersection, a shiny black motorcycle caught my eye. I started to smile, but the expression stopped dead before it could appear, reality snatching the momentary joy I’d almost felt.
Neill.
He’d been more distant than usual since I’d come in on Wednesday. I’d managed to haul ass into the bathroom to try to pull myself together, but apparently, I hadn’t handled it well. Somehow my awkward way of dealing with emotion had put even more space between us.
I sniffed as I crumpled the empty bag and stood, the bus squealing to a stop. I’d seen depression before with Mom, knew what it looked like, and right now I seemed to be dancing a whole lot closer to that cliff than I’d like to be. As I descended the bus steps and tossed the plastic bag into the trash can on the corner, I stiffened my spine and remembered what my grandmother had told me only a year or so before she’d succumbed to cancer.
Sometimes life is shit. But it’s those times that you find out what you’re made of.
I walked through the shop’s front door as a motorcycle’s engine roared in the alleyway. Whatever was going on with my parents, with my tuition, my classes, my life? I’d face it all, because I had to. I had no choice but to deal with all of it.
Though the shop looked empty, Frankie’s country music was already playing from his studio. It was always nice in here this time of day, sunlight pouring through the long front windows and illuminating the lobby, bouncing off the shiny chrome accent tables. Just the kind of peace I’d been looking for today. Maybe here, in the quiet, I could get some of my anxiety out.
I had just tucked my bag in its cubby when Neill entered through the back door, humming to himself. This weirdness between us couldn’t go on. I’d be as nice as I could, and maybe that would help fix things. I pinned a smile on my face, standing by the edge of the counter as he passed. “Hey. Nice day out, huh?”
“Yeah,” he called back to me as he deposited his helmet and bag in his studio. “I thought so, too. Almost warm enough to head to the beach.”
“I love the beach,” I said, hoping the wistful note in my voice went unnoticed. “Maybe I can get out there this year.” Neill turned slowly, both hands cradled under something. I started to look away, but my curiosity wouldn’t let me. “What—what’s that?”
He laughed and looked down at the floor, almost like an embarrassed kid. “It’s your lesson for today. A magnolia blossom. Here.” He came across to me and grabbed a blue plastic cup from behind the counter. “I thought you might like it. You know, to draw.”
Something uncurled in my chest. “I love drawing flowers. Did I tell you that?”
Neill shook his head, his hair tousled from the helmet, which only strengthened the boyishness of his appearance. “No, but I guessed.”
Looking at him still did things to me, despite the way I’d been voluntarily friend-zoned over the past couple weeks. Even though I knew that was for the best, I still wanted him as more than a mentor or a friend. Especially right now.
“I should get some water for this. I’ll be right back,” Neill said.
I watched as he disappeared into the break room. A smile broke out across my face, the first genuine one since Wednesday. He’d thought of me. I didn’t really believe that he’d only brought it so I could practice drawing. After all, I could have Googled pictures of a magnolia blossom and used them as a reference. Glancing down at my toes, I sighed to myself. He cared more than he let on. Maybe he kind of wanted me like I wanted him? Did he have some kind of relationship fear, too? It would make sense . . . I stopped my musing when he came back around the corner, the blue cup brightly contrasting with his dark shirt.
“There,” Neill said, placing the cup on my desk with a flourish. “Your new muse.”
“It’s beautiful,” I said, bending to it and dragging a deep breath in through my nose. “And it smells amazing.”
“I thought you might like it. To draw. Yeah, I said that already.” Neill cleared his throat and snapped a serious expression into place. “Well, I should make sure my station is, you know, prepped and stuff.”
He turned and walked away. Almost guiltily, I let myself enjoy the sight. God, that ass should be against the law.
With my sketchbook opened to the first blank page, I took in the magnolia blossom. Creamy white petals, huge and curved softly, a yellowish center. As I’d been taught, I pictured how it would look on skin.
“Too much white,” I mumbled to myself. “Better try it in black and gray.”
I dug through my bag for my pouch of sketch pencils. A text chimed while I was digging, so I checked my phone.
Hey Hales, want to hit the club tonight? You’ve been working too hard! Lil & Court
I hesitated before answering. It would be fun to go and blow off some steam
, but . . . I glanced into my bag. If I was going to do anything tonight, it should probably be catching up on some homework. Music started up over in Neill’s studio, drawing my gaze. We’d made some progress today. And I still wanted to know him better, wanted it desperately. Maybe I could spend some time with him, non-work-related, that is.
Sorry, I typed back. Can’t go tonight. U guys have fun tho.
A tiny knot of disappointment lodged into my throat, but then I glanced over at the flower and smiled.
It was beautiful. And so was he. I’d make it up to the girls before the semester was over, just a few weeks now. But things with me and Neill might finally be turning around, and I wanted them to so badly. I wouldn’t feel right going out to a club and pretending to be interested in the guys crowding the dance floor, looking for tail. If Neill didn’t want to hang out with me tonight, I’d maybe go hit the library. Or go to bed early. The thought of nine or ten uninterrupted hours of sleep was pretty damn tempting.
The early afternoon wore on, and I drew that magnolia at least five times. Different angles, different styles, trying shading techniques and positioning. I even drew it on a drawn figure, as if tattooing the paper itself.
And when the shop got too busy for me to keep drawing, I put my sketchbook away and smiled, charmed customers, helped the artists, but always out of the corner of my eye, I kept glimpsing the flower.
It was beautiful.
It was mine.
It had come from him.
And that really was all that mattered.
Neill
I waved off my last customer, my hand tingling and nearly numb from the constant tattooing of the day. It had been a long one, but fun nonetheless. Hailey had adored the flower, as I’d hoped she would. At my last count, she’d shown me three drawings of it, each one more beautiful than the last. I couldn’t help smiling as I loaded the autoclave. I’d made the right call by bringing her the flower. Whether or not it complicated things between us didn’t matter. It had brought back the spark inside her, the one that had been missing these past few days.
I was nearly finished cleaning, the fresh scent hanging heavy in the air, when Roger slapped the doorframe.
“Hey, boss man, me and Luce are heading up to Aquanauts. You coming? They’ve got Dogfish on tap tonight.”
I didn’t look up from my cleaning while I answered. “I’d love to, but I probably shouldn’t. I’ve got a drawing to finish before tomorrow, customer coming in at four to check it out.”
“Four? Fuck, man, you can do that in the morning. Come out with us.” I straightened from putting away my cleaning supplies as Roger shouted into the lobby, “Hey, kiddo, you’re legal, right?”
Hailey came into the room with a small stack of papers that she passed over to me. I smiled down at the cartoon bullfrog on the cover. It was clutching a little magnolia blossom.
“I’m nineteen. Not drinking legal,” she said.
Roger slung his arm around her shoulder in a friendly, casual way. “Well, good! You can be our DD.”
Hailey laughed, shoving at Roger playfully. “What do I get for hauling your drunk ass home?”
“You get my everlasting love.” Roger shot her loud, smacky kisses.
“I turned down going out to the club tonight with some friends. I’d kind of feel bad about going out anyway.” She wrinkled her nose.
“There’s twenty bucks in it for you.” Roger waved the bill in front of her nose. “Come on, Luce wants to meet you.”
“Well, if it’s for Luce . . .” She nodded, kicking Roger’s shin lightly. “Keep your money. I was going to go do homework, but this sounds more fun. I’m in.”
“Last chance, boss man. You in or out?” Roger dangled the car keys high. “What’ll it be, fun? Or wooooooooork?” He lowered his brows and growled the last word.
I rolled my eyes as Hailey laughed again. “Fine. One beer. Then I have to get home and finish this piece.”
Roger slapped my back. “That’s my man! A beer it is. Come on, Luce’ll pick us up. Frankie has a date, so he’s out.”
I followed Roger and Hailey from my studio, and with the three of us working, we had the studio clean and ready for the next morning within twenty minutes flat. As I punched in the alarm code, Hailey tapped my arm. “Neill? I’m going to leave my flower here tonight, is that okay?”
I gave her a half-smile. “It’s yours. You can do whatever you want with it.”
“I just wasn’t sure if you wanted it back or whatever. If you had someone who needed a magnolia tattoo and you were just letting me use it.” She shifted from foot to foot, and I had to fight not to laugh out loud. She was fishing, and fishing hard.
“It’s for you, I stole it for you, so it can have free rein of the shop tonight.” The alarm keypad beeped, signifying it was armed, and I moved toward the door, hesitating when Hailey didn’t follow. I turned, and she was standing there, her eyebrows high and her mouth open in shock.
“You what?”
“I stole it.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the door, the touch of her hand on mine more shocking than the tingling pain that afflicted me there. It was a delicious sting, the warmth of her skin. “I committed a crime so you could continue learning your craft.”
“Neill, you shouldn’t—”
I shut the door behind us, ensuring that Roger was far enough away not to notice us. “I can commit tree felony if I want to.” I dropped an impulsive kiss on her upturned nose and double-checked the lock. “It’s my neighbor’s tree, but part of it pokes into my yard. I doubt the cops saw me.”
“Hey, guys, Luce is here!” Roger waved to us from the mouth of the alley. “Come on, she hates turning around in this tiny lot.”
Hailey and I walked together, not holding hands but not stopping when we brushed fingers in passing. A warm feeling, kind of like peace, spread inside my chest, and it was amazing. So much better than the worry of the past few days, the strain of keeping Hailey away, of knowing she was upset and not being able to do a damn thing about it. I’d finally done something right, and that felt good.
A green Jeep sat by the curb at the alley’s entrance, its lights casting a glow on Roger. “Come on, you freaks.” Roger waved us on faster. “They’ll be out of beer by the time we get there if you don’t move your asses!”
Hailey laughed and took off running. I was shaking my head at Roger’s attitude, but the next thing I knew, Hailey had grabbed my hand and was pulling me along toward the Jeep.
And God help me, I ran with her. Holding her hand for dear life, I ran with her. Just for the joy of doing it.
It didn’t take long to drive to Aquanauts, only twelve blocks over, but the short ride was pretty fun. Hailey seemed to get along with Luce, which made sense, since Roger’s live-in girlfriend was only twenty-five. I found myself relaxing into the plush backseat of the Jeep, able to watch Hailey in the dim light of the interior. She smiled, laughing at Roger and Luce’s playful teasing. She was beautiful, I couldn’t deny that.
When I glanced down and saw her long, delicate fingers, the nails painted a shiny shade of blue, laying there on the seat between us, I did what the devil on my shoulder whispered to me to do. I reached over, slipping my hand beneath hers, lacing our fingers together. She glanced at me, startled, but I pretended not to see, laughing at Roger’s Frankie imitation.
It felt right, having her close, touching her. My blood pumped harder every time she entered the room. But actually being able to feel her heat, smell her clean scent, rub against that silky skin?
It was heaven. And I was tired of living in hell.
I’d been fighting this so long that I was tired of the battle. This—us—somehow felt right. Even though the reasons for it being wrong hadn’t changed, something inside me had. And I couldn’t ignore it.
When Luce pulled into the crowded lot behind Aquanauts, I reluctantly let Hailey’s hand go. But she stuck close to me as we wound our way through the cars and joined the line at the door.
>
“You’ve got your ID, right, kiddo?”
Hailey nodded in response to Roger’s question. “Right here.”
“Corrupting the youth. One of my favorite pastimes.” Roger waggled his eyebrows at Luce and got a smack on the arm in return.
“Ignore him,” Luce said to Hailey. “He’s an asshole.”
“But I’m your asshole,” Roger said with a mile-long pout, pulling a cigarette from behind his ear.
Luce sighed as he lit up. “Yup. Bad habits and all.”
I shook my head at them, leaning over toward Hailey. “They never stop. You regretting this now?”
Hailey just laughed. “Nope. They’re fun.”
And then she slipped her hand through mine, lacing our fingers together once again. “I’m more glad than ever that I came. This is going to be fun. I do kinda feel bad about skipping out on Lily and Courtney, though.”
“Bring ’em to the shop. I’ll give them free tattoos.” I winked so she’d know I was kidding. But only just. Honestly, I’d probably tattoo half her damn college for nothing, to keep her by my side more often.
And with that thought, I came to a decision. I was done trying to put limits on us. That hadn’t worked, and we’d both been miserable. Now I’d just let things happen and see where that took us.
I didn’t stop holding her hand the whole time we stood in line. If Roger noticed, he didn’t say anything, for once.
I smiled as I pulled my ID from my pocket. Miracles did happen.
Chapter Sixteen
Hailey
My heart thudded harder as Neill took my hand again, leading me through the crowd toward the back of Aquanauts. I’d never been to this bar. Usually, when I went out with Lily and the others, we headed to the other end of town to the trendier clubs. This bar felt old, with dark wood walls and a lacquered floor. It had character, though.
Roger and Luce were ahead of us, laughing and talking loudly to be heard over the thumping music. A small dance floor to my right was crowded with bodies, moving to the beat of the bass. Blue, purple, and white lights swirled lazily over the crowd. At the bar, a golden glow shone down from a crazy, twisted metal arm that was suspended over the dark oak, with fancy-looking bulbs screwed in at odd angles.