by Jeff Siamon
Stupid idiot, stupid idiot ─ the rhythm of her horse’s trot protested.
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“We camp here,” Hille called out to Connie. They were on a ledge of a mountain trail. On one side, it opened up into a shallow cave along its side. Just large enough for the two of them and their horses. On the other side, there was a drop of several hundred feet. They had been on the trail all afternoon. Now the sun was edging towards the horizon. A horizon that ran across the valley below. Up until the ledge, the trail had been an easy one to follow. At least for Hille. The Con-nee man knew less about riding mountain trails than he knew about horses. Which was to say nothing. But the trail farther on up to the summit was more difficult. The horses would need rest to safely make the trek.
Adelhard had shown her the trail over the mountains between their two villages. The cave was a place for them to meet in secret when they had been young. Adelhard was supposed to take for his wife Evald’s daughter. While Hille’s father had promised her to a man of her village.
She was thinking of those days of innocent passion as she watched the Con-nee man’s horse trudge up the trail. Both horse and rider looked exhausted. She had not chosen well, she realized, when she had picked the Con-nee man’s horse. The horse was old and could easily go lame on the journey. And then what? There’d be two idiots on one horse.
Connie hadn’t heard what she had called out to him. Hadn’t heard much or thought about much the last hour or so. It was all he could do to concentrate on staying on the horse’s back. Especially every time he felt the horse’s hind legs slipping on the precipice side of the trail. And it didn’t help his concentration that his aching wrist made it difficult to grip the horse’s man. Or that he could still feel the hot metal burning his forehead.
“We camp here,” she repeated. She pointed to the ground and then got off her horse. When the Con-nee man didn’t seem to respond ─ his blank expression greeted her ─ she indicated the mouth of the cave. “You idiot! We stop here for the night.”
He got her tone of voice. Understood what she was saying. He dismounted ─ this time without a childish tumble. And though his legs felt as light-headed as he did, he managed a smile of triumph at his remarkable feat.
She didn’t smile back as she watched him clumsily back into his horse. She was about to give him another one of her “Idiots” when the horse suddenly reared back dangerously close to the edge of the trail. Hille rushed to the horse, pushing Connie aside, just as its hind legs were about to dangle into space. She grabbed its head and pulled with all her strength. Thankfully, after a few breathless moments, the horse managed to scramble to firm ground.
“Idiot!” she called out to Connie, passing him as she led his horse inside the cave.
“Right,” he said to himself. Her horse gave him a nudge like it agreed and both of them went into the cave.
“Idiot! What kind of man are you that you act like a stupid child?”
He raised his eyebrows to her words. To the angry look he could feel rather than see in the dark of the cave. But he was getting the gist of what she had been yelling at him. Dumb-cough. Dumb, indeed.
They eyed each other for a moment. Neither could see the other’s face clearly, but each could sense the tension in the other. Still there was nothing he could do about the way Hille felt about him. He had offered to go his own way. He shrugged and went to one side of the cave and sat.
She noted his shrug and watched him as he tried to find a comfortable spot on the ground and against the side of the cave. She didn’t feel like shrugging anything off. She kicked a stone that was against her foot. “Idiot!” She had been a fool and an idiot for helping this Con-nee man.
As a child and as a young woman, she had never learned to control her temper. She would lash out at anyone whom she thought was trying to put her in her place. Adelhard used to laugh at her tirades. His laughter always calmed her. Brought back some sense to her emotions. But the recipients of her scorn never laughed. They were intimidated by her fierceness; and because she was the Lord’s mate. There were those who respected her ─ both for her strength of her character and her prowess in wielding a sword as well as any man ─ but it was a respect kept at a distance.
Now there was no one to laugh when she became angry. No one to tamp down her impulses. If Adelhard had been alive, he would have cajoled her into not helping the stranger. The man was a matter for the tribe to decide. Not Hille. Or Adelhard.
But Adelhard was not here. Only the Con-nee man. The glare she gave the cramped cave confirmed that.
The horses were huddled at the far end. She had let them have a long graze before starting up the mountain. That would have to do until they got to the other side. At the summit, there still might be some snow, but hopefully only old winter slush. Con-nee man’s horse should be able to make its way through if she took the trail slowly. What she was going to do, or say, once she reached her village ─ she hadn’t thought that far ahead. That would come tomorrow when they were safely on the other side of the mountain.
Connie was inspecting his cracked cast when she looked over at him. He was on the opposite side of the cave from her. In the growing darkness inside the cave, he didn’t seem to her to be much of a hero warrior. Huddled like he was. Worrying over a wound on his wrist.
“You!” she called to him. She stood up and walked to him. “You!” She pointed to the ground. “You keep your butt … HERE. Con-nee. Understand?”
When he nodded, she took that as a “yes.” She left the cave and paused at its entrance to make sure he wasn’t going to follow her before continuing on up the mountain.
She needn’t have worried. Connie’s state of exhaustion and the level of pain throughout his body was in no mood anyway to go anywhere. For anyone. He stared at the mouth of the cave after she had disappeared, thinking if worse came to worse and she didn’t come back, he’d always had the horses. It was a lame joke. Like all his jokes to himself. He didn’t laugh. But Hille’s horse whinnied as if it understood.
There was a lookout ledge a score of yards above the cave. From there the valley below could be seen. That was where she had waited for Adelhard’s white horse to appear down below. When they had to meet in secret. If he was alone, they would meet in the cave. If there were other horses with him, it would be a hunting party and she would return to her village.
That was before he had defied his father and Evald by announcing that Hille was to be his mate. Knowing the furor this would cause in both of their families, they had decided to leave the land if either family wouldn’t accept their union. But in the end, Adelhard’s father was unwilling to lose his only son. Hille’s family, a daughter.
Hille would go there now. If Evald and his warriors had discovered her ruse of riding up the creek, they would come to the valley. There was another trail farther down the mountain that also led to her village. That was where the searchers would look for them. She would wait until dark. If no riders came by then, they would likely not arrive before mid-morning. She knew of Evald’s superstition about riding through forests at night. By mid-morning, she and this Con-nee man would be down the other side and nearly at her village.
What she was going to do with the Con-nee man while she went to her village, she hadn’t decided. There were few places to hide in the valley and fields that led to her village. Perhaps she could leave him at the base of the mountain. Or better yet, maybe he should stay in the cave. And if the idiot decided to wander around, well ─ maybe he’d fall and break his neck.
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Hille knew the path well so it was not difficult to scramble down to the ledge at the mouth of the cave. It was a moonless night. Dark except for the stars. If by chance there were riders in the valley below, she wouldn’t be able to see them now. But she would be up before light to check just in case. She had gathered some wild carrot while she had waited. Not much for a dinner but that would have to do.
“Con-nee,” she called to him as she entered the
cave, careful to keep her voice low. She didn’t want to startle the idiot. Her wrist was still painful from when he had grabbed her. When he didn’t answer, she assumed he was asleep again. Some brave warrior! she thought.
That was exactly the state Connie was in. There had been nothing but his hurts to keep him awake while he waited for her to return. But they weren’t enough to keep his eyes open. He was asleep by the time she had reached the lookout. In a dreamland of knife wielding assassins, skin-scorching fires and unapproachable maidens.
She called out his name again. Louder this time. But all she heard was Connie’s heavy breathing and the stirrings of the horses. Just as well, she thought. If the Con-nee-man was asleep, he wasn’t likely to do anything stupid.
She gave each of the horse a carrot stalk, ate a few for herself and then settled on the ground opposite the sleeping idiot. In the morning, she’d let the man feed.
She was exhausted, too. More so than she was willing to admit. Yet she couldn’t fall asleep. Not for many minutes. Once there was nothing for her to do ─ no one to flee from, no idiot to watch over ─ too many memories of the last hours flooded into her head. This nightmare of hers had begun with her argument with Evald and Medard over the captured prisoner. It would have been a return to barbarism, she had shouted at them, if they had burned the man alive. To have the Con-nee man suffer the same fate. Slavery would have been what Adelhard would have chosen. And Evald knew that.
If only she had stopped there.
47
Aflick of a shadow passed across Connie’s dream state. Something felt wrong. He was travelling up a mountain in his dream. Great boulders were falling from higher up and he was trying to push them back. The shadow made it difficult to move his limbs. Difficult to dodge the hurled rocks. He thrashed in his sleep. Something was not right.
Suddenly his eyes opened. He had the sensation that there was someone in the cave beside Hille and him. It was still night so except for the few stars he could see out of the cave’s opening, total darkness surrounded him.
The horses seemed restless. He could hear their movements. He would have called out to Hille, but hearing her breathing, he didn’t want to wake her. He listened for other sounds. Strained his vision as he tried to peer into the black of the cave. But when the horses stopped moving, his vigilant muscles relaxed. He lay back. It was only dream anxiety. He knew all about that. When his eyes closed, dreams came rushing back into his sleep. Now it was swirling waters that his dream self struggled against. Nothing more.
Not so the next time his eyes blinked open. His senses went on alert before he fully awoke. A shadow had passed through his dream and now, his eyes open, he could see its dark image moving across the cave walls. Just briefly. Until it seemed to be absorbed by the surrounding rock. An illusion or something to fear? He wasn’t awake enough to decide.
It was dawn. The mouth of the cave opened onto the bluish-warmth of a sunrise. Framed in this light, he saw Hille. Her silhouette gave him a feeling of relief. It had been a dream sensation, he thought. Nothing more.
“Hey-la,” he called to her.
When she didn’t answer or turn around, he sat up. She hadn’t heard him. So rather than raise his voice, he’d go outside and greet her properly. He stood up but kept his body rigid. His sudden movements seemed to have agitated the horses. They had been huddled together but now were whinnying and stomping on the ground as they moved back and forth. He pressed himself against the side of the cave. The last thing he needed was to get trampled by these beasts.
Hille still hadn’t turned around although she must have heard the horses. Connie called out again, “Hey-la. The horses.” When she didn’t respond, he wasn’t surprised. She probably thought he was saying something “dumb cough.”
He glanced at the horses, slowly moving his torso so as not to surprise them. They still seemed agitated. “Okay, you guys,” he whispered to them. “After you.” He backed up until he felt the wall of the cave. And waited. But it didn’t seem like they wanted to leave. Okay, he thought. She’ll have to deal with them.
“Hey-la. It’s me, Con-nee.”
This time, on the sound of his voice, she looked at him. Twisting her upper body, rather than turning around. Even before her sudden scream, he knew something was wrong. Terribly wrong.
He jumped at the sound of her voice, hitting his head on the rock wall. The horses began to stomp their hooves and move about violently. At the same time, Hille arms flailed at the air around her as if she were being attacked by a swarm of bees.
Her scream had stunned him but not so much that his body didn’t react. He started for the opening of the cave but before he could reach it, the frantic breaths of the two horses blew across his back. The next instant, he fell hard to the ground as they pushed him aside on their way to cave’s mouth. Then they dashed around Hille, and without hesitation, leapt over the side of the ledge. As they fell, Hille’s cry of terror matched those of the horses, while the sky began to darken, extinguishing its warm glow and eventually muting all sounds.
Connie had banged his head when he had fallen. He was slow in getting up. But not so for his senses. He knew what was happening. The thing had returned. He could feel its presence as if a hand on his shoulder pressed down on him, attempting to keep him from moving. For when Connie tried to rush to Hille ─ she remained motionless now, her hands down by her side, her head stooped ─ each step he made took many seconds to complete.
And if that wasn’t enough of an impediment, whispers suddenly entered his thoughts and made him feel even more lethargic. You’re tired, the whisper told him. Sleep is what you need. Sleep. That will make you feel better. Both of you feel better. Yes, he was tired. Hille could manage without him. He did need more sleep. For his journey. For their journey.
The darker the sky became, the heavier his eyelids grew. Yet some urgency in his muscles remained. They propelled him forward as if his body had a will different than his thoughts.
Hille hadn’t moved from her stillness but she lifted her head as he emerged from the cave. When she looked into his face ─ her eyes wild with terror, her mouth open in a silent scream ─ a tremor like a jolt seized him. It shook away the whispers and his senses became warrior alert. But it wasn’t only Hille’s look of fear that had aroused him. It was what he saw at her feet. At the ground surrounding her. The jelly-like substance, bubbling and pulsating as if it were emitting the breaths of some great beast beneath its surface. Hille stood in this ooze. Her legs sunk into its treacle that was now inching up her calves, turning them into its ooze.
For a frozen moment, Connie didn’t know what to do. This wasn’t his invasion. There was nothing for him to battle. No shadow in his head to ward off. Nothing now attacking him to repulse. Yet he couldn’t just stand there and watch her being consumed.
She was several feet from him. Several feet from the edge of the cliff. He reached out a hand to her and took a step forward. Her expression became more agitated when she saw what he was doing. To reach her, he had to step onto the bubbling mass. He held his breath as his foot came down upon the bubbling ooze. But when he did, when his foot touched its surface, something strange happened. It immediately hardened into solid ground. At the same time, the sky began to lighten. Another step of his restored her legs, freeing them from the retreating slime. It also restored her voice. When his hand nearly touched hers, she screamed. A scream of absolute terror. She screamed again when their fingers met. And a third time when he tried to draw her to him. With her fourth scream, she pulled her hand free and backed up towards the ledge.
Connie was confused. He called out her name and stepped towards her. But all that did was to elicit another scream. Another step backwards. He stopped. The crazed look on her face told him that this dance they were doing wasn’t going to have a good end. He tried on a lopsided smile and pointed to the cave. “Hey-la?” She took a step backwards. Now only a few steps remained until she fell off the edge. So perhaps the best thing he could do w
as to go back inside the cave and wait for her to calm herself down.
He turned back to the cave, but a glimpse of her body in sudden motion stopped him. She was still backing up towards the edge of the ledge. He spun around and hurled himself at her retreating figure just as her feet left the safety of firm ground. When his hand grabbed her wrist ─ with his sore wrist hand ─ the weight of her body hanging over the side of the ledge brought him down to the ground. And there she dangled while he held on, struggling against his grip. His wrist burned from the effort of holding on to her. More so when her body became limp.
The sky darkened again until it became midnight black. Then storm clouds formed out of this darkness. They erupted into a wind-driven force of snow. So much snow that the dark sky was transformed into an icy blizzard of whiteness.
He dug the toes of his feet into the ground, searching for something to stop his body from moving forward. He wasn’t going to let her go. She wasn’t going to be another person taken from him. He could feel himself slipping towards the edge. “Hey-la!” he yelled into the thunder of the snow storm.
It was now or never, he realized. He gave her arm a fierce pull. It was a dangerous move, he knew. When he did this, his body began to slide more quickly. Still it was all he could do. If he just held on ─ with the snow acting like a slick of oil on both the ground and her wrist ─ one or both of them were going to fall into the abyss.
He pulled with all the strength he had. Closed his eyes on the pain he felt. Concentrated with a fierce sense of will. He would not let her be taken from him. No shadow was going to stop him. He bent his elbow like a weight lifter’s curl. Slowly. Very slowly he raised her closer to him. If he could get her hand over the rim of ledge, maybe she could grab onto to its rocky outcropping. The effort opened his eyes. It also seemed to lessen the snow. To lighten the sky. But it also slid his body forward so that his elbow was now dangling in mid-air.
It was a hopeless attempt. The jagged rock below his upper arm cut into his skin. Together with the throbbing of his wrist, the pain was unbearable. He had to let her go. But he couldn’t. Wouldn’t. In the flash of a moment, there eyes met. Not in terror or fear. But in a silent nod of their fate. Their end. So that when they began to fall, neither cried out. Neither felt anything but the calmness of surrender. Their hands locked onto each other. Their eyes closing so that the plunge became something of a dream. Only aware of each other’s touch. Not the whiteness that had suddenly surrounded them. Or their fall into its endless vortex. Two birds soaring in the air.