I sighed. “Yeah, everything is fitting me like this lately. It seems like my stomach suddenly popped out over night.”
Annie was still staring at my middle. “It’s weird,” she finally said.
“Gee, thanks, Ann,” I muttered, pouring myself some orange juice.
“Sorry. I mean, you totally look cute, it’s just strange. Like you said, it seems like it happened overnight.”
“Right?” I asked. “I’ve been feeling like a fatty for ages, but now it looks more preggers, and less chubby, ya know what I mean?”
“The dress is cute,” she said. “Did you get that at the maternity place?”
“No, it’s actually just plus size. From Macy’s.”
Annie laughed. “You got paid last week, didn’t you?”
“I did indeed! First paycheck.” I couldn’t help smiling. It had felt great to earn that check. It had been a while since I had gotten a legitimate check from a business, rather than under-the-counter babysitting money. It wasn’t great pay, but it did come with insurance. Plus, I loved working at the book store. Really, really loved it.
“I have to say, it’s nice to see you getting dressed up,” Annie said, joining me at the kitchen table. “When you were nannying it got pretty depressing to see you in yoga pants and sweats every day.”
She had a point about that. When I was nannying, I was unhappy. Unhappy about Josh, unhappy about my job. Those feelings were totally reflected in how I dressed. Which was kind of sad, if you think about it. I was a fashion girl, always had been. I loved doing my hair, putting on make-up, trying to look cute. I shouldn’t have let anyone change that about me.
“I’m feeling better,” I said to Annie. “When I feel good, I like to look good.”
She smiled. “Well, I’m happy to see it.”
* * *
As I drove to work a few minutes later, I thought about my conversation with Annie. It was very true, what I had told her. I was feeling much better these days. Work helped. Like I said, I enjoyed it. I got to spend my days talking with customers about books— what could be better than that? I also enjoyed the office work I was doing for Luke. It was calming for me to sit in front of a sheet of orders, making sense of the numbers, creating order from chaos.
The people I worked with were great. In addition to Luke—who, I had discovered, was funny and nice, as well as hot—there was Beth, the friend of Annie’s mom who had helped me get the interview. Beth was very sweet. She spent every minute she wasn’t with a customer reading well-worn romance paperbacks. She had worked as a librarian for years—you could tell she adored books just by looking at her.
There was also Jack, a skinny college-aged kid with bad acne. Jack was pretty quiet and kept to himself for the most part, but he was always polite when our paths crossed. There were a few other staff who worked nights and weekends, but our schedules rarely overlapped.
Work wasn’t the only thing making me happy these days. Since the day I had felt the baby move, I had been almost delirious with happiness every time I thought about him. My extreme indifference prior to the ultrasound had completely melted away—now I couldn’t wait for this baby to be born.
Shortly after the baby had moved, I made up my mind that Josh was off-limits. I wouldn’t let anyone mention his name and I wouldn’t let myself think about him. Or, at least, I tried not to. The baby helped. I knew this kid was going to be the most amazing little guy ever to be born. If Josh didn’t want to be a part of that, he clearly wasn’t worth my thoughts.
I got to work a few minutes early. That was another thing: I was sleeping better, and waking up for a nine thirty job was so much easier than the seven a.m. start time at the Conrad’s. Plus, waking up for something I actually enjoyed made me happy and gave me energy.
The store front was empty when I walked into Just Books. Luke had been pleased enough with my training that he no longer needed to be at the store with me all the time. Usually I split my shifts pretty evenly with him and Beth, who was supposed to be in today. Jack would show up in the afternoon, when we would usually be a little busier. But, so far, I appeared to be the only one here.
“Beth?” I called, heading back towards the stock room.
“Hey, Ginny, I’m in here,” yelled a voice from the office. It was Luke.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, walking into the office. Luke was sitting at the desk, rustling through papers in an irritated sort of way.
“Beth called in,” he answered, his voice somewhat curt. “Her grandson is sick or something.”
“That’s a bummer,” I said, leaning against the desk. “Did you have plans today?”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “But duty calls.” I couldn’t help but note the bitterness in his voice. I had often wondered why Luke owned this place. He seemed to enjoy talking with customers and recommending books to them—but he clearly detested the business aspect of running the store, and there were days he seemed to resent being there.
“Oh well,” he sighed, more mildly, as he turned towards me and smiled. As he looked at me, I noticed a small raise of his eyebrows behind his glasses. “Wow,” he said. “You look great today!”
I felt a rush of warm pleasure shoot through me. Luke’s compliments always seemed so genuine. “Thanks,” I said. “I did a little shopping with my first paycheck.”
He laughed as he stood up, leading me out towards the store. “I’m glad to hear it,” he said.
We got to work cleaning up the store, restocking books from last night and putting away a new order. As we worked, we chatted comfortably. Josh had lent me the first book in a Stieg Larsson series, and we had differing opinions on it. He was trying to convince me to continue on to the sequel but I was refusing.
“How can you judge something when you’ve only read one third of it?” he challenged.
“There are too many wonderful things to read to waste time on something I don’t like,” I responded.
Luke snorted. “What a limiting viewpoint.”
I shrugged. “I’m a busy lady.”
“Fine. What are you going to read instead that’s so much better?” he demanded.
I smiled at him dreamily. “Sense and Sensibility.”
“Oh my God, you have got to be kidding me,” he said.
“Nope, I’m going to read Sense and Sensibility for the twentieth time. And it will be heavenly.”
He merely rolled his eyes at me.
“What, you don’t like Austen?”
“No, I don’t like Austen. I don’t like books about girls who obsess about marrying rich men.”
I stopped what I was doing to glare at him. “You clearly had no understanding of what you were reading.”
“Oh, someone is defensive about her favorite author!” he laughed.
“You bet your ass I am,” I replied. “How many Jane Austen books have you read, anyhow?” I asked.
“Um…one?” he answered. I laughed.
“Seriously? You’re going to judge something when you’ve read less than one sixth of it?” It was Luke’s turn to laugh. “Austen was a social commentator. Yes, she wrote about the need for women of that day to find security with men, but she also wrote women who were strong enough to refuse to settle for less than true love, even when they were poor. She was brave and visionary, and men with such a ‘limiting viewpoint’ should read before they judge.”
“Okay, okay!” Luke held up his hands in surrender. “How about I read Jane Austen and you agree to finish the Larsson trilogy?’
I smiled, and held out my hand for him to shake. “Deal.”
Chapter Nineteen
The rest of the day continued along the same lines. It was slow in the store, and Luke seemed in no hurry to send either of us to the office for paperwork. Luke and I shared an easy banter, and it was so enjoyable to just chat with him. There was no pressure here, no agenda. It was nice.
Once Jack and the evening staff arrived, I headed to the office to collect my purse and coat. It was
unseasonably cold for March. I was really looking forward to spring; my pea coat barely fastened over my growing stomach anymore. Luke met me on my way out of the office.
“Hey, I’m starving. Wanna grab a bite to eat?” he asked.
I felt my pulse begin to quicken. Though Luke had been consistently friendly, even somewhat flirty, at work, we had never hung out beyond the walls of the store. The idea both excited and terrified me.
“Sure,” I said, trying to keep the stammer out of my voice.
“Great,” he smiled. “There’s a place around the block. Do you like Mediterranean?”
“Absolutely,” I replied, hoping the baby felt the same way.
Luke and I walked in silence to the restaurant. I tried to talk myself out of the nerves. This is not a date. He is your boss. Plus, you are the size of a small hippo, I reminded myself. But I couldn’t help recalling the appreciative look in his eyes that morning when he told me I looked great…
The restaurant was small but looked pretty nice, with linen table cloths and tea lights on every table. It possessed an intimate feel and it was pretty busy for so early in the evening. I hoped that was a sign of stellar food. The waiter led us over to a small table near the window, and I was quick to note that Luke held out my chair for me.
I have to say, things like that really do it for me. I know that I’m supposed to be an independent feminist and all of that, but show me a gentleman who practices chivalry and I’m pretty much done for.
“So, Ginny,” Luke said, smiling at me over the menu. “How are you enjoying your new job?”
“I love it, Luke,” I said eagerly.
“And you’re not just saying that ’cause it’s my store?” he asked, grinning.
I laughed. “No! Not at all. Seriously, I love working there. I never knew how much fun it would be to talk about books all day.”
“I’m glad. It seems like you enjoy it, but I wondered if I was reading you right.”
“What about you? What made you decide to buy a bookstore?” I asked, wondering if I would finally find out the reasons behind his apparent antipathy toward his job.
“Oh, I didn’t buy it,” he said quickly. “It’s actually my dad’s place.”
I didn’t bother to try and hide my surprise. I’d been working there for several weeks and I had never heard anything about his father. “Really? So your dad is my boss?”
“I guess,” Luke answered, scratching his neck.
“So why haven’t I met him?”
Luke sighed. “He had a heart attack six months ago.”
I gasped. “Oh, Luke, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
He smiled. “Don’t worry about it. Of course you asked; you work there. Besides, he’s doing fine now.”
“Oh good,” I said, relieved.
“But the doctor said he had to retire, take it easy. His whole life was that store, it was too much stress.” Luke’s forehead wrinkled. “So I stepped in and took over the day to day stuff.”
Ah. Well, that explains a lot. “Let me guess,” I said, hoping I wasn’t overstepping my bounds. “This wouldn’t have been your first choice if nothing had happened to him.”
He smiled at me. “How’d you know?” he said.
“Just a hunch.”
Luke laughed. “Have I been that obvious?”
“No, I just get the sense you don’t always want to be there.”
Our food arrived then, and conversation diminished for a while as we focused on our meals. I had ordered a stuffed meatball called a kibbeh, which I had never had before. It was delicious. I hoped the baby would agree—he had a tendency of keeping me awake all night when he wasn’t happy with my food choices.
“So, Ginny,” Luke said eventually, once we had slowed our eating a bit. “Can I ask you something personal?”
“Sure,” I shrugged, leaning back from my meal and taking a drink of pop.
“This baby…what’s the story there?” Luke sounded kind of awkward—and really curious.
I swallowed my pop. “What do you mean?” I asked.
He definitely looked awkward now. “I was just curious. You’ve never said anything about a guy, and you don’t talk about the pregnancy much. I wasn’t sure if you were excited, or…” Luke’s face was getting red, so I decided I would put him out of his misery.
“The father is my ex-boyfriend. He’s not involved with the baby.” I tried very hard not to think about those words as I said them. “I’m kind of scared, because I’m doing this on my own. But I’m very excited about the baby.”
“You must be pretty brave,” he said, shaking his head. “I can’t imagine doing something like that alone.”
“Well, I guess I’m not really alone,” I clarified. “I live with my two best friends, and they help me out a lot.” I smiled, thinking about the girls. “Actually, I would say that they’re a lot better to have around than a clueless guy.”
Luke chuckled softly. “So this ex…is he a total bastard, or what?’
“I never would have thought he was,” I said, wishing he hadn’t brought it up. “But all evidence now seems to point that way.”
Unexpectedly, Luke reached over and grabbed my hand. “I’m sorry, Ginny,” he said softly, and his eyes did that flashy thing I loved so much. “But I have to say it. If this guy is willing to give you up, regardless of the circumstances, he’s insane.”
I felt warmth spread through me, right from Luke’s hand into my chest. “Thanks,” I said.
He grinned again. “Just stating the obvious.”
Chapter Twenty
Twenty-four Weeks: Your baby (and your bump!) continue to grow at a phenomenal rate! At this point, your baby probably weighs more than a pound. Your stomach is getting more and more prominent. As he watches your body change so drastically, your hubby may be wondering how he can be more involved in the pregnancy. Don’t be afraid to ask him for help! Have you involved your husband in decisions about how you will decorate Baby’s room? There are few ways better to get your hubby involved in the preparations for your little one’s arrival!—Dr. Rebecca Carr, A Gal’s Guide to a Fabulous First Pregnancy!
“It looks like a stork exploded in here,” Annie said disdainfully.
I had to agree with her. We were standing in the entrance to Baby and Me! and it was definitely very overwhelming.
“What did you expect it would look like?” Jen asked. “It’s a baby store. Did you think they would have camping gear?”
I laughed as we moved further into the store.
“What exactly are we looking for?” Annie asked, picking up a weird U-shaped pillow. “And what the heck is this for?” We all peered at it in confusion.
“Hello!” said a bubbly voice behind us. We turned as one to face a cheerful woman whose nametag identified her as LeeAnn. “Are you looking for a boppy today?”
“What the hell is a boppy?” Annie asked.
“Fifty cents!” I cried. Annie flipped me off.
LeeAnn looked flustered for a moment, but soon glued her toothpaste ad smile back on. “That pillow is a boppy. They’re very popular.”
“But what are they for?” Jen asked, puzzled.
“For the baby!” LeeAnn enthused. “You can sit her up in it, or use it to prop her for nursing. They have tons of uses!”
“Well, we’re not really in the market for a bop thing today,” I said. “We were wondering where your cribs are.”
“Oh, you’re expecting!” LeeAnn gushed, looking me over for the first time. “How exciting! How far along are you? Eight months?”
I glared at her as Annie stifled a laugh. “I’m twenty four weeks.” LeeAnn had the good grace to look uncomfortable.
She led us quickly to the crib section and then disappeared to help someone else, probably afraid of me and my inappropriate, boppy-incompetent friends.
The crib section was overwhelming. They had every make and model imaginable. Cribs that turned into beds, cribs that cost 2,000 bucks, white cribs,
wood cribs. “Jesus,” I muttered. “I have no idea what I’m looking for.”
Jen, ever prepared, pulled out a computer print-out from her purse. “I found these recommendations online,” she explained, passing me the paper. “It says the best crib for safety doesn’t have to be very expensive. We just need to look out for those factors.”
I looked at the sheet she had given me. It was full of information about slat distance, drop sides, safety seals. “Jen,” I said, passing it back. “I have no idea what any of this means.”
She rolled her eyes at me but took the paper back. “Why don’t you find one you like, that fits your budget, and we can go from there.”
We walked around the crib section. Annie tried to convince me to buy a Vera Wang designed crib, but it was definitely not in the budget. The budget, in fact, was pretty pathetic. I had been saving a bit of money from all of my paychecks, but it wasn’t much. I planned to get as much baby gear as possible from garage sales and resale shops, but Jen had insisted some things needed to be new—apparently safety was an important aspect in items like cribs and car seats. Who knew?
Finally my eyes came to rest on a simple, maple wood crib. They had it set up with the most gorgeous bedding—shades of blue and brown, patterned in polka dots and stripes. No cartoon animals, no sports themes or airplanes. It looked sophisticated and darling at the same time. The bedding was perfect. It was also obscenely expensive. The crib, though, was reasonably priced.
I called Jen over, and she consulted her research. “It looks pretty good to me,” she said finally. “But we should probably ask someone…” She set off to find LeeAnn, who quickly confirmed that the crib was, in fact, very safe. Better still, it was on sale. We bought it immediately.
I couldn’t get that expensive bedding out of my head as we waited in the checkout line. It was exactly what I would have chosen if I had an unlimited budget. The blue matched my own comforter perfectly, which was important because the baby was going to be living in my room—our rental house was only three bedrooms, so we didn’t exactly have space for a nursery. I was fine with it, to be honest. I was already starting to have anxiety dreams about the myriad of disasters that could befall my baby. I was sure I’d be able to relax more the closer he was to me.
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