Monstrous (Blood of Cain Book 1)

by J. L. Murray

  The raven was silent.

  “You have got to be fucking kidding me,” I said. “I’m fucking working for Abel? He’s real, too? He’s the one who dies!”

  “I can assure you this world is much more nuanced than its portrayal in the Old Testament,” said the raven.

  “That creature was your kid. And Cain threatened to hurt its mother. So who the fuck are you?”

  “All in good time, Frankie.”

  “No!” I said, my voice breaking. “The wraiths have been peddling that bullshit for six months. I need answers. Tell me who you are!”

  “One who has your best interests at heart,” said the raven. “One who always has.”

  “You’ve been watching me, too?”

  “Not as such,” she said. “But I...hear things.”

  “You’re not a raven following me around?”

  “Not outside of this world. Sadly, I am trapped here. I’m not really even talking to you right now. I’m there.” The raven motioned to the towering house in front of us, jet black and seeming to suck what little color out of the landscape that there was.

  “In that black house?”

  “It’s not a house,” she said. “It’s a prison, obsidian laced with magic to trap me in this world.”

  “By Cain?” I said. “This is crazy. Why would he trap you here?”

  “I wanted revenge,” she said. “On God, on men, on everyone. So I gave myself to the dark things of the world. In those days, there were so many. Such sublime darkness. And I birthed monstrosities, horrible creatures that struck fear into the hearts of men. In time, though, I saw that man made his own horrors, he was his own terror, and I regretted what I had done. I wanted to stop my children, and myself. So I made a deal.”

  “A deal?” I said. “Everyone’s got a deal, don’t they?”

  “Mine was a trade with someone powerful. Stronger than Cain, stronger than Abel. He would bury my children deep, but in exchange, I had to do the thing I wanted least. I had to beg my oldest enemy for forgiveness. I did so, and he forgave me. But his sons were not so benevolent. They put me here. In that tower. And I’ve been here ever since.”

  “Sons?” I said. “Cain and Abel? So your enemy was...”

  “It was a long time ago,” she said. “But the power that holds me in the tower is weakening. Cain has broken the pact I made. My children are buried no longer, and his power over me grows weak.”

  “Who?” I said. “Who did you make a deal with?”

  “It matters little. But you were a surprise, Frankie. A surprise to us all. They will want to use you. They will try. Sometimes they will succeed. Everything you love will be used against you. It’s important you know.”

  “I don’t love anyone,” I said.

  “You’re very bad at lying for someone who does it so often.”

  I thought of Dekker and it hurt.

  “He’s yours, Frankie,” said the raven, seeming to read my mind. “You can find peace in a person. You can find a home in another. They will want to take him away from you, though. They will want him dead.”

  “Why?”

  “Who has repeatedly warned you to stay away from your lover, Frankie? Even though he’s the only person who seems to be on your side?”

  “The wraiths,” I said. “And the reflections.”

  “The reflections are Cain’s, the wraiths are Abel’s,” said the raven. “But you must understand they are different sides to the same coin. This is a game. A game they’ve played throughout eons of time. Abel always dies. But now they have escalated. They’re involving the entire world in the fun. They will kill him if they can, Frankie. They want you alone. They want your power to fight for them. And your lover, his is a different kind of darkness. You will want to run from him when you find out his secret. Perhaps you will succeed. But you and he, your game is a bit like Cain and Abel’s.”

  “Dekker and I aren’t playing a game.”

  “But you are,” she said. “You will always find each other. Death, blood, smoke and ice. Nothing will stop you from coming back to each other again and again. You are drawn to his flame, Frankie Mourning, and he to yours. It is your strength and your weakness.”

  “You’re saying we’re toxic to each other.”

  “On the contrary,” said the raven. “You are both toxic on your own. Together you are a chemical reaction. Together you are stronger. If you don’t burn each other to ashes.”

  “You know so much,” I said bitterly.

  “I do,” she said. “I am the oldest thing you will ever meet. We are linked, you and I.”

  “Who are you then?”

  The raven flapped her wings. “He’s coming.”

  “Who?” I said.

  But the raven was in the air, flapping her wings above me. I looked toward the mist to see a figure emerge. I recognized the shape of the silhouette: a massive goat’s head resting on a man’s shoulders. He began walking toward me.

  “Frankie,” I heard him whisper in my ear, though he was still at least fifty feet away. I wiped frost from my earlobe, backing away. Then I recognized the voice I’d heard at the lake.

  “Cain,” I said. He stopped, bowing again.

  “You are clever, Frankie. More clever than you should be.” He reached up and lifted the dead goat’s head by the horns. A human face looked back at me across the misty plain, and as I watched, antlers rose up off his head, growing until they spread out far above him. He smiled, dropping the goat head on the ground and taking slow steps toward me.

  “You should not talk to strangers, Frankie,” he said. I could see his dark hair, come loose from a plait running down his back. His skin was darker than mine, his nose long and straight. He was beautiful. He looked up at the raven who was flapping her wings hard and fast and going nowhere.

  “Leave her alone,” I said.

  “I need to keep a better eye on my prisoners,” he said. “You were not supposed to find her.”

  “She found me.”

  “Of course she did. I’m not angry at you, Frankie. I blame her.” His smile faded and he looked coldly at the bird. I watched as black wings turned white with frost, black eyes pale with death. The bird fell from the sky, breaking into a dozen frozen pieces as it hit the ground.

  “Stay away from me,” I said.

  “She gave you something,” said Cain.

  “No she didn’t.”

  “She did,” he said. “I’m going to let you keep it. I don’t want to be enemies, Frankie. I want to be your friend.”

  “You could have just sent a fruit basket,” I said. “You’re not very good at making friends.”

  “No,” he said, chuckling. “I suppose that’s true. But I know you will come over to my side, Frankie. You work for my brother now, but you are a survivor, aren’t you?”

  “I’ve heard that said.”

  “I wasn’t looking for a weapon when I found you. It was divine providence, if such a thing still exists. I was simply setting the monsters free.”

  “What’s her name?” I said.

  “Who?”

  “You know who. Who do you have locked in that house?”

  “She didn’t tell you?”

  “You interrupted us,” I said. “Then you killed her.”

  “I killed no one. Just a bird causing a nuisance. You’ll come to me one day, Frankie Mourning. And you’ll beg me to take you in.”

  “Fuck off,” I said.

  “On that note,” he said, cocking an ear as if listening. “Your time here is almost up. But first, I’d like to show you something.”

  “I’d like to show you my knife in your throat.”

  “Always charming,” said Cain. “But you can see now, can’t you, Frankie? One little monster, causing such a ruckus. Imagine what a dozen would do.”

  I blinked as shapes emerged on the field, formless at first, then coalescing into people. They all blinked dumbly at me, their faces blue and haunted. I saw my mother, who put a hand out, as if asking for h
elp. Roo and Shawn were there, Shawn’s wife Ellie standing next to him. The sheriff and other familiar faces: people I’d seen in the Pinecrest and around town. Old, young, parents, children. The people of Helmsville. I looked for Beatrice and Dekker and was relieved when I did not find them. But one face made my guts turn in a knot.

  “Julia,” I said.

  “Yes, she is rather new,” said Cain, smiling. “Only just arrived. Look how confused she is.”

  “Where are the twins?” I said. “I don’t see the Kroger twins.”

  “You’ll have to hurry,” said Cain. “He thinks he’s saving you. It’s sweet, really. Too bad you’re going to end up killing him.”

  “Who?”

  “Your sweet lover. I’m not a jealous man, Frankie, don’t worry about that. But this gift my prisoner has given you: It’s going to drive a wedge between you.”

  “Don’t talk about him,” I said. “You disgust me.”

  “Perhaps you feel that way now,” he said. “But in time, well, you may never love me. But let’s be honest here: it hardly matters.”

  I felt a hot wind pulling at me and the people in the field disappeared. The mist was rolling away.

  “What gift?” I said. “What are you talking about? What did she give me?”

  He opened his mouth as if to speak, but the force pulling at me was growing stronger. The hot wind was blowing hard in my ears, drowning out all sound, making me dizzy and weak. And as though someone was shoving and pulling at me at the same time, I felt myself carried, and I fell. Cold surrounded me, as if I was encased in ice, then I fell through, and found myself warm again. I panted, trying to catch my breath. I couldn’t move my arms.

  I screamed in pain as the feeling returned to my body, prickles flowing down my nerves. My eyes were wide and I couldn’t get my bearings. I couldn’t make myself understand. A mirror was in front of my face, shining a reflection back at me. A normal reflection. No screaming or pounding on the glass. Just a reflection in a mirror.

  “What the fuck!” I said, hoarse and out of breath. “What the fuck was that?”

  The mirror lowered and Dekker was looking at me, narrowed eyes, angry. I tried to move my arms again, but they clinked against the headboard of the bed I was lying on. I looked up to see handcuffs. My legs were tied to the mattress with what I realized was a sheet, ripped into strips and tied together.

  The motel room. Dekker. The mirror. I looked at the television, smashed by my boot.

  “Frankie?” said Dekker, the hate fading from his face, and being replaced by a dawning hope.

  “Jesus Christ,” I said. “What the fuck just happened?”

  “You went into the mirror, I think,” he said. “Is it really you?”

  “Uncuff me,” I said. “Or I’m going to kick your ass.”

  “Yep, that's you. Are you okay?” He was fumbling with a key and reached up to take the cuffs off.

  “I just spent I don’t know how many hours in a fucking mirror world. Maybe days. Does that sound okay to you?”

  He stopped and stared at me as I massaged my wrists. I hurt everywhere.

  “Frankie,” said Dekker. “You were only gone for ten minutes.”

  “What?” I said. “Are you sure?”

  He was untying my legs, his face set like stone. He avoided looking at me. “Pretty sure,” he said, releasing my legs. I pulled my knees to my chest, holding onto my ankles. “It’s not even checkout time yet.”

  “Beatrice,” I said. “Jesus, we have to go. Dekker, I think she’s in trouble.” I stood, my knees giving out. Dekker caught me.

  “Just slow down,” he said. “You were really freaking out. Before, I mean.”

  “I have to get back there,” I said, a note of panic in my voice.

  “You can’t get there if you’re falling over,” he said. “Frankie, I gotta tell you, I’m not used to all this supernatural shit.”

  “Well, it’s not like it ever gets easy.” I massaged feeling back into my calves. “But my friend is in trouble.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I saw things,” I said. “It’s hard to explain.”

  “How do you know they were really happening?” He still wasn’t looking at me. “You were saying things to me. When you were...”

  “That wasn’t me,” I said.

  “Are you actually you now?”

  “What’s with you?” I said. “I’m telling you Bea is in trouble. Julia is one of them. I saw her, in that...mirror world.”

  “What else did you see?”

  “Weird shit. Memories. I saw what happened. I know what I need to do to stop it.” I didn’t even know how to begin to put it into words. “I saw the ghosts of people the reflections took. My mother, the sheriff, Shawn and his wife.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Roo was there,” I said. “She didn’t know me.”

  “I saw that one coming,” he said. “But maybe it’s just a mindfuck. Maybe they’re just trying to lure you into a trap.”

  “Maybe,” I said. “But Bea is the only one who stood up for me. Ever. And I’m not about to let her die.”

  “Because you have a history.”

  “Because she cared,” I said, growing angry. “She’s the only one who cared. She’s the only one who...”

  “The only one who what?” said Dekker, finally looking at me.

  “The only one who believed me,” I said, my voice almost a whisper. I felt my lip tremble and it pissed me off. I ground my teeth and looked away from Dekker’s dark eyes, full of something I didn’t understand. “When my father died, Bea was the only one who believed me.”

  “Tell me,” he said.

  “In the car,” I said. When he opened his mouth to protest. “I’m going with or without you. So either stay here and be weird, or come help me. I’m not arguing about it another second.

  “I’m worried about you,” he said.

  “Don’t.”

  “It’s not a common occurrence for me,” he said, narrowing his eyes. He was getting angry, too. I remembered what the raven said. We were in a game, just like Cain and Abel. If I left him now, he might be okay. If I left him, I’d save him. If I left him…

  “You’re not leaving me here,” said Dekker, interrupting my thoughts.

  “Then get your ass in gear,” I said. “Let’s go. We can talk in the car.”

  “Are you sure about this?” he said. “We could go, Frankie. You and me. We could take off and leave all of this in the rear view. We could run.”

  His eyes searched my face. I wanted to say yes. Hell yes, I wanted to run away with him. For a moment, it seemed possible. The two of us alone on the road, going wherever we wanted, just us. But then I remembered the wraiths. I remembered the mirrors and the monster in the lake, and the raven whispering in my ear. I remembered Cain, lifting me up after I collapsed on the surface of the lake, setting me down carefully, as if I were valuable. And I thought of Beatrice, and my father, and my sister’s screams as she burned.

  “Not yet,” I said. “They’ll find me wherever I go. They always find me. This isn’t a life you want, Dekker. This isn’t just running from the cops, this is so much more savage.”

  “I know,” he said, reaching out to touch my face. He wasn’t angry anymore, and I wasn’t either. I was scared, and it didn’t have anything to do with Bea’s safety, the mirrors, or any of the monsters surrounding me. It was the look in Dekker’s eyes. “Frankie, I–”

  “Stop,” I said. “We have to go. Are you staying, or coming with me?”

  “I thought you were gone,” he said. “In the mirror.”

  I grabbed my keys from where they had fallen on the floor and walked toward the door.

  “Don’t you care?” he said.

  I stopped and turned to look at him. For a second, I couldn’t talk. My throat closed up, as if the reflection’s hand was still on my throat.

  “If I let myself care,” I said, “I’d fall apart. Don’t you think I’d love to ru
n, Dekker? I can’t. I died and now I belong to them. To their world. And if I want redemption, I have to stop this. These are the people, the monsters, that ruined my life. They killed my father. They turned me into this.” But even as I said the words, an image flashed in my mind: A child with tangled yellow hair standing on top of the water.. I had to stop to catch my breath. “I know you’re feeling something for me, Dekker, but you have to stop. I’m like gasoline. Everything around me burns to ashes. So whatever you’re feeling, I know it’s hard, put it away. I have a job to do here. That’s all. My safety doesn’t matter, they don’t care about my safety. Hell, maybe I can’t die. I don’t know yet. But I can’t hesitate. Because if I hesitate because I’m worried about you, it’s going to end badly for everyone.”

  “What about you?” he said. “Don’t you get consideration?”

  “No,” I said. “Weren’t you listening?”

  “Fine,” he said, setting his jaw. “Have it your way, Frankie. I’ll help you”

  “Thank you,” I said. “It’s not just Bea, you know.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Those little girls?” I said. “The Kroger twins. They weren’t there.”

  “What does that mean?”

  I shrugged. I opened my mouth to answer, but our eyes met and something inside me broke. I closed my mouth, afraid of what would come out if I spoke. I looked toward the door.

  “I’m sorry,” I managed, my voice thick.

  “Nothing to be sorry for,” he said. “Let’s go.” But I’d hurt him deeply. We were killers, both of us. But together, sometimes, we were beautiful. Through all the blood and fire and death and violence, when Dekker and I were together, I could be whole. When I was with Dekker, I could be the woman I was supposed to be, before any of this happened.

  I meant to say, “I love you,” as he brushed past me.

  But I didn’t say anything.

  chapter fifteen

  D

  ekker was silent as I raced around the corners on the road to Helmsville. I glanced at him a few times, tried the radio, but there was only static.

  “Okay,” I said. “I’ll tell you about Beatrice. If you still want to know.”

  “Tell if you want,” he said, and I saw him watching me out of the corner of my eye. “But I’m not forcing you to do anything. If you don’t want to tell me, don’t. It’s not like we matter to each other.”