by J. L. Murray
“What the fuck, it wasn’t loaded?” I said.
Dekker had his big hand around her throat, though, the rifle discarded.
“Don’t kill her, you idiot!” Bea was yelling. I was standing, frozen, my knife held stupidly in my hand. I was watching Dekker, afraid of him for the first time. The look on his face was the thing that paralyzed me. He looked just as I’d felt killing the sheriff. Pure joy.
Bea pushed past me and shoved the shotgun into the back of Dekker’s neck. He finally seemed to take in his surroundings. His eyes widened as he realized what he was doing. He took his hand from Roo’s throat and fell back.
“Don't kill her, stupid,” said Bea. “She can help us.”
“Help us?” I said. I was still staring at Dekker, who had pushed himself away from Roo and sat with his back against the wall. He was looking at his hands.
“She can tell us where the girls are,” said Bea. “Am I the only one with a functioning brain here?”
I shook my head and looked at Bea. “How do we know she won’t warn Ruth?”
“She won’t,” said Bea. “She wants to go back. I’m the only one who can help her right now.”
“I’ll tell you whatever you want,” said Roo. “If you send me back, I’ll help you. I’ll do anything. Please.”
“Where are the kids?” said Dekker, his voice shaky. He was getting to his feet, seeming to find his own body unwieldy. He staggered a little, but managed to stay upright and took a few wobbling steps toward us. “Tell us where the kids are.”
“Or what?” said Roo, smiling. “You’ll wring my neck again?”
“Manners,” said Bea, pressing harder with the shotgun. “And mine won’t be empty.”
Roo’s smile faded. “They’re at the bar.”
“The Pinecrest?” I said.
“My friends are waiting for Frankie,” said Roo. “They expect her to be alone. The other bavuah, they think we’re going to capture her, to give her to Cain as a gift. But not Harishona.”
“She wants to kill me,” I said.
“You killed the other Harishona, and the power went to the closest bavuah. But Ruth, she loved Rebecca dearly. Our kind does not feel such things. We fuck and kill and hurt and laugh, but we are soulless, loveless. Harishona won’t let it go, even if it kills her. She wants to feel you die.”
“Rebecca was the Harishona,” I said. “I saw it, I saw Cain lift her up. But Cain wouldn’t let her have me.”
“Because you’re his,” said Roo, derision in her voice. “Cain makes Harishona do such things. She’s the only one who can travel. He’s forced her from the mother.”
“The monster in the lake,” I said.
“It hurts us,” said Roo. “It feels like dying when we stray. And Harishona has to go so far away. You may as well have burned her, too.”
“What does he have her doing?” I said.
Roo smiled, malice in her eyes. “Waking the other children, of course. My mother is only one of the creatures Cain has unbound. There are so many more. The children of Lilith have been set upon the earth and Harishona has come home.”
“Lilith?” said Bea, going pale.
“I don’t know any more than that,” Roo hissed. “I’m just a messenger.”
“So it was all down to chance,” I said. “Just pure chance that Becky was the one the monster found. Chance that Cain saw me for the first time.”
“There was never a chance for you.” Roo was laughing, the sound filling the house. “The ravens are a symptom, you stupid girl. There is so much more to come.”
“What’s to come?” I said, remembering seeing myself as a child. Seeing something black running through my veins.
“Shouldn’t we go save your precious twins?” said Roo. She wasn’t laughing any longer, but she was still smiling a malignant smile. Dekker crossed over to her, his handgun in his hand. He crouched next to Roo and for a moment I thought he was going to try to kill her again.
“Tell Frankie what she wants to know,” he said, his voice soft and calm.
Roo looked scared now. I’d never seen the reflections, the bavuah look afraid, but Dekker scared her.
“I don’t know what you are,” she admitted, watching Dekker. Her eyes shifted to me. “But there is only one other who the ravens are loyal to.”
I thought of the raven guide in the mirror world. For a moment, I wanted to run. I didn’t want to hear.
“You’ve met her,” said Roo, smiling again. “I knew it. She does like to wander. She’s Cain’s prisoner, but she’s too powerful for him. He can barely contain her.”
If what the raven said was true, he wouldn’t be able to control her at all soon enough.
“Who is she?” I said again, my voice harder. I knew, though. The raven, talking about the monster in the lake, calling it her child. Children of Lilith, that’s what Roo had said.
“I know,” said Bea. Her face looked sickly. She lowered her shotgun and looked down at the shattered mirrors. “I think I’ve always known.”
“What are you two talking about?” said Dekker. “Would you like to share with the class?”
Bea was watching me closely. She sat down in the chair again, once again using the shotgun as a cane.
“Frankie, when I prayed before, I knew. I saw you and the raven, walking on water like fucking Jesus. I’ve seen that raven, or one like it. It’s why I chose her as my goddess.”
“What are you talking about?”
“My goddess is Lilith,” said Bea, sounding suddenly very old. “And has been since the day I met you. I can’t explain it. I met Frankie that night in the forest. And the next morning I was changed. There was a black feather on my pillow and Lilith’s name tumbled from my lips. I’ve prayed to her ever since. I’ve kept Frankie close ever since. I was a fool to think they weren’t connected.”
“Come on. Cain, Abel, Lilith. This can’t be happening,” said Dekker. “And she keeps speaking Hebrew.” He glared at Roo.
“How do you know that?” I said.
“My mother’s Jewish.”
“You know who Lilith is?” I said.
“She was Adam’s first wife,” said Dekker, looking at me. “She came before Eve, before Cain and Abel. She was made of the same clay as Adam. But she wouldn’t obey him so she left Eden. Then God made Eve out of Adam’s rib. That's the story.”
“But what happened after she left Eden is the most important part,” said Bea. “She traveled the world. She took demons and dark things as her lovers. She had children...”
“Children,” I said.
“Yes,” said Roo.
“She made a deal,” I said. “She told me. She felt sorry for humanity and in return Cain made her a prisoner.” I looked at Roo. “How did Cain bring them back here? What did he do?”
She grinned, seeming to enjoy telling us her secrets. “He opened a door to Hell. Humanity will scream.”
“Shut up,” said Dekker. Roo went silent.
“But why me? Why am I a bird magnet? I’ve met Lilith and even she didn’t know what I was. Or she said she didn’t know.”
“It really was her,” said Bea, her eyes wide in wonder. “She spoke to you.”
“She told me secrets,” I said. “Like an old friend.”
“What the fuck is even happening here?” said Dekker, his eyes wild. “Are we believing this Garden of Eden shit?”
“You don’t have to believe,” I said. “You just have to trust me.”
“An hour ago you kicked me out of your car in the middle of nowhere.”
“To save you.”
“To save yourself,” he said, anger in his voice. “Because you’re afraid.”
“I am afraid!” I said, suddenly shouting, surprising myself. The room went silent. “Of course I’m fucking afraid. You nearly killed her with your bare hands. I killed the sheriff like it was nothing. People die around us. And the raven—Lilith—told me about you.”
“What did she say?” Bea whispered, rapt.
>
I didn’t look away from Dekker as I spoke. “She said we were cursed. We would always find a way back to each other, no matter who we hurt or what kind of damage we did, to each other and to the world. We would consume one another. We were like Cain and Abel, trapped in our own game. And I shouldn’t fight it.”
“She said you shouldn’t fight it?” Dekker said, his voice soft, forgetting to tell me how ridiculous it all was.
“You have a chance for a life,” I said. “You might be able to go back, to live. Goddammit, Dekker, just run away. Get the fuck away from me.”
“I can’t,” he said.
“Why the hell not?” I said.
“I’m already here,” he said. “We’ve already started. You’re in my blood and have been since the beginning. The first time I saw you, Jesus, I felt alive for the first time in my life. I can’t walk away, not anymore. I’d shrivel up and die if I walked away. What kind of life would I have? It would just be sludging through shit after knowing you. How could you ask me to do that?”
“Because you’d live,” I said.
“That’s not living.”
I felt a tear slide down my cheek as Dekker looked into me.
I felt a hand on my arm and I startled. I looked down to see Bea had come over to me. It had been as though Dekker and I were the only ones in the room. I wiped my face, embarrassed.
“We have to get those girls,” said Bea.
“I still don’t trust this asshole,” said Dekker, keeping the gun pointed at Roo. She smiled at him.
“She’ll do as we say,” said Bea. “She wants to go back.”
“How do we do this?” I said. “We’re just going to walk into a bar that’s full of these evil shits? We’re outnumbered.”
“You’re going to be her prisoner,” said Bea, a gleam in her eye. “And we’re going to get them while they’re not expecting it.”
chapter nineteen
B
ea sat in the passenger seat and Dekker folded himself into the back, knees pressed up against my seat, his gun aimed at Roo, who sat next to him. When I pulled out, everyone turned their heads to follow the police car Decker and I had pushed to the side of the road, the bloody sheriff still inside.
“Maybe you should set it on fire, Frankie,” said Roo.
“Shut up,” Dekker told her.
The cabin with Julia’s dead body behind us, the cop car beside us, the misty, dark road in front of us, I drove. Bea reached out to turn on the fan and I saw something on the inside of her arm, glowing white.
“What’s that?” I said, grabbing her wrist. Bea pulled away.
“What?” she said.
“Those markings on your arm,” I said. “What is that, a tattoo?”
Bea looked at the skin where I had indicated then looked back at me.
“Did you hit your head?” said Bea. “There’s nothing there.”
But I could still see symbols glowing on her arm. Dekker was leaning forward to look. Roo was laughing.
“They won’t see it,” said Roo.
“See what?” I said.
But Roo was silent, just sat there smiling.
I glanced at the inside of Bea’s forearm again, hoping I’d been seeing things. But the symbol was still there, bright white in the dark. And when Dekker reached out to touch me, I saw the same symbol on his arm, too.
“Feeling okay?” he said.
“Great,” I said. “Super great. Everything is fine.”
“What is it, two in the afternoon?” said Dekker, looking out at the suffocating darkness. “What is this shit?”
“Harishona,” said Roo. “I told you she’s using Cain’s power.”
We drove through the mist in silence. As we passed the old Mourning property, tiny shards of ice began to tap against the windshield.
“Oh, what fresh hell?” I said, leaning forward to look at the sky. Ice was falling from the sky, plunking softly on the car and then bouncing off. But every second, the ice got bigger and heavier. From small balls of hail to shards that left dents on the hood of the car, until finally a spear of ice came partway through the windshield, smashing the glass into a million cracks. I slammed on the brakes, the car fishtailing left and right, before finally coming to a stop, the front tires hovering over the ditch.
“Jesus Christ,” said Dekker.
“There’s someone out there,” said Bea, leaning forward and squinting.
“That’s impossible,” said Dekker. “There’s fucking ice knives coming out of the sky.”
As he said it, the ice that had lodged itself in the windshield cracked. Frost like pale white moss spread out across the glass, then covered the ceiling of the car in a layer of fuzzy, crystallized ice.
“They call this hoarfrost,” said Bea.
“I’ve seen this before,” I said, lifting the door handle, putting my shoulder against it to break through the layer of ice that had formed on the inside, and stepping out of the car. I looked back and met Dekker’s eyes. “Keep Bea safe from her.” I nodded at Roo.
Ignoring Dekker’s protests I stepped out into the ice storm, chunks of clear ice soaring to the ground from the sky. They didn’t touch me, though. In fact, they seemed to veer away from me. When I was standing in front of the figure that Bea had seen standing on the road, I narrowed my eyes. A wraith.
“Are you doing this?”
The hooded figure seemed to regard me. Then, slowly, reached up and grasped the hood, pulling hard. The entire cloak came off as one and evaporated into the semi-darkness. And then Rebecca was looking back at me coolly, her skin pale and fresh, her eyes clear. Scarless.
Like she’d never been burned.
“Hey, Frankie,” she said. “Enjoying the show?”
“Stop it,” I said. “You’re going to hurt someone.”
“By someone do you mean that fucking car? God, do you know how much I hated that car? Almost as much as I hated you.” She rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She waved her hand and the ice stopped almost abruptly.
“Is this you?” I said. “This darkness? It’s the middle of the day.”
“Me,” she said, smiling, “and others. You’re a very popular girl. I never saw that coming.”
“Why are you talking like that?” I said. “What happened to your faith?”
“Faith?” she said, laughing. “You’re judging me now? Oh, Frankie. The stories I could tell.”
“What did you do, Becky?”
She stepped toward me, swiveling her hips as she walked.
“I made a deal,” Becky said in a stage whisper. She reached out her index finger and touched my chest. I gasped as my skin froze, as the ice spread from the tip of her finger. I grasped her wrist. I could have snapped it. But I let go at the waxiness of her skin, the coolness of a corpse. Becky giggled.
“What is this?” I said. “What are you doing?”
Becky leaned in until her nose was almost touching mine. Her breath felt frigid on my skin, but I refused to shudder.
“I’m not allowed to hurt you,” she said. “You’re his, that’s what he says. Though I don’t know what he sees in you. Something about you being...precious.”
“Precious?” I said. I couldn’t help but laugh, and Becky narrowed her eyes. I could see she was angry.
“He knows what the gift was,” said Becky. “That’s what he wanted me to tell you. So you know he knows. He’s concerned you might think you pulled one over on him.”
“Why don’t you say his name, Becky? Is it because you’re ashamed? Because you’re basically working for the devil?”
“Cain is not the devil,” she said, her pale eyes flashing. “He’s sacred. The first child born on this earth.”
“The first murderer.”
“And you’re here, on the opposite side of the mirror. You’re not in Moledet. That’s because of me. I agreed to switch sides, and Cain agreed to let you go.”
“He was going to let me out anyway. He wants me on his side. I think you got a raw deal
, Becky.”
“He knows what your gift is,” she said, scowling. “I’ve delivered the message. I’ll leave you to Mother now. Cain will destroy her if she kills you, but she doesn’t care. All she thinks about is your death. Revenge. I don’t think she really believes Cain will hurt her. But he will. She’s foolish, I’ve seen his power. I’m using it now, and it is glorious.” She looked at her own hands in wonder, then met my eyes.
“He’s lending out his powers like a room by the hour,” I said. “You know that’s not really Mom. She calls herself the Harishona..”
Her lip curled in a sneer. “I’ve seen her on the other side. She’s stronger this way. She’s better on this side, as Cain made her.”
“And the real Ruth Mourning?”
“Who am I to say what’s real?” She smiled again, but it was unconvincing, and after a moment, she let the smile slip.
There was something fragile about Rebecca. I wondered if she’d always seemed so breakable. Despite wielding Cain’s power, there was something damaged behind her eyes. I reached out and touched her arm, but she took a quick step back, away from me.
“Don’t pity me, Frankie.” Her voice was steady, but her face crumpled, as if she were about to cry. I remembered her at the lake. Praying to the sky, promising to be good.
“You don’t have to do this to yourself,” I said. “He can’t make you do anything you don’t want to.”
“He already is,” she whispered.
I heard a car door.
“Frankie, who is that?” said Dekker.
Rebecca’s eyes slid past my shoulder to look past me. “Frankie...” she started, staring at Dekker. When I turned to look, I could see Roo’s silhouette in the back seat. “They’re on my side,” she said, the vitriol gone, her voice soft and almost defeated. “Can’t you see? You’re surrounded by your enemies, just as it always has been. Even me, even back then, all those years ago. Your own sister against you.”
I looked back at my friends, the flash of the markings on their wrists catching my eye. I looked quickly back at my sister.
“That's the gift,” I said. “The markings mean they’re…”