The Secret Admirer Romance Collection

by Barratt, Amanda; Beatty, Lorraine; Bull, Molly Noble

As he collected them from his drawer, he counted them to ensure he hadn’t dropped one and accidentally kicked it under the display case. He expected four, yet counted five.

  With confusion mounting, he unfolded them and laid them out on the counter. There were five. The most recent one said:

  Your smile brings sunshine to my life. Oh, that I could become your wife.

  He slumped on the stool, his gaze glued to the notes. Over the course of their delivery, the author spoke of love, trust, and marriage. Yet she had gone into his private drawer in secret. Where was the trust in that? Or, was that the confession she had warned about when the third note had read:

  I’ve loved you longer than you can guess. Love me, trust me, and I’ll confess.

  If the author had no respect for privacy, what else would she do? Was she a raving lunatic? He had to find out who it was before the farce went any further and destruction of property or worse happened.

  He numbered the notes in order and then swept them together. Not all of Miles City would be at the church picnic, but there would be enough to start him on his quest.

  Chapter 7

  Janet chose to sit beneath the old apple tree that grew close to the church instead of on a blanket like most of the congregation was doing. She had an ulterior motive in that she wanted to keep an eye on the street in case Adam came along. From the way he acted with Pastor Keyes in the store, however, she didn’t expect him to show.

  She wished she had the courage to ask him how he stood on the important things of life. If that lesson had been offered with the other social graces, she would have attended for sure. Could her feelings really be love if she didn’t know who he was inside?

  She withdrew the note she’d spent most of the night composing—the boldest she’d written yet, where the dullest of men would have no cause to misunderstand. With his sharp business acuity, Adam was anything but dull, yet after weeks of dropping visual hints she was no closer to him than any other customer in his store. Would God place such a man on her heart if there was no hope of a future together?

  As the service began, she tucked the note into the folds of her skirt where her pocket was located, while turning her ear to the pastor’s voice before it dissipated in the breeze. His message was a familiar one on remorse and redemption, meant to heal wounded hearts and replace despair with hope. Pastor Keyes often used the outdoor service for this message as he could reach people who would normally never step into a church without being pushed or pulled through the doorway.

  It wasn’t a surprise then, to see nonparishioners listening on the fringe of the gathering, but no matter how often Janet looked, Adam wasn’t one of them.

  Neil joined her at the conclusion of the service. “Hey, Janet, I thought I caught sight of Hazelton over this way.”

  She had prayed for guidance, hoped Adam would appear to give her an indication of what she should do next. What she didn’t want was Neil telling her what she ought to do. “As you can see, he’s not here.”

  He gave her a sharp look. “What’s all this about? I know you’re sweet on him—”

  “Shhh.” She swatted his arm. “What does it matter if I am? I know nothing about him, and he doesn’t even see me.”

  “Of course he sees you—”

  “Not in the way I see him, Neil. Not in the way Em—oh, never mind.” Horrified, she stared at his boots. In her misery, she’d almost told Neil that Emily had her eye on him, while knowing that Jack had his eye on Emily. She’d never been inclined to play matchmaker and wasn’t about to start now. They could sort out their own love interests like she was doing.

  The crowd wavered before her. “Just leave me alone.” Her shoes crunched on the twigs and stones under the tree’s canopy as she ran toward the outhouse—the only private place around where she could wallow in her misery.

  Adam heard the voices and laughter of the picnic before he reached the church grounds. Within seconds, his stomach growled in response to the tantalizing smells emerging from the laden tables where the women worked. His gaze scanned the crowd for a familiar face. If no one stepped forward to welcome him, he’d walk on past as if that had been his intention all along.

  The flash of a blue dress in the corner of his eye caught his attention. Janet had worn a similar one to his store, once. Instead of finding Janet, however, he spotted Neil standing alone beneath the apple tree.

  As Adam headed toward him, Neil bent down and retrieved something off the ground. Adam caught sight of a folded sheet of floral notepaper similar to the ones in his pocket. Perhaps the day would prove fruitful after all. “What you got there, Neil? Someone sending you love notes?” he asked.

  Neil turned slowly. He stared at Adam for what seemed like minutes. “It was here, on the ground. It’s pretty plain it’s meant for you, not me. Here, read it.”

  Adam took the note and read:

  You run your store with your own hand while my finger aches for your wedding band.

  “Why do you think it’s for me? I’m not the only storekeeper around. I’ve never even been here before.”

  “Uh-huh. Well, the girl who wrote it was just here.”

  “You mean you know who wrote them?”

  “Them?” Neil looked around. “There’s more of them?”

  “Yes, here.” In his hurry to present them, one floral paper escaped from Adam’s hand. Neil snatched it in midair before it hit the ground. Adam handed him the rest in silence.

  Neil took his time reading them. “What’s this mean?” He pointed to Adam’s scrawl in the top right of each corner.

  “It’s the order I found them.”

  Neil read them again in order. “Where were they?”

  “Here and there among the shelves and things in the store. One in my coat pocket. Oh, except for the final one, which was actually in my private drawer. I’m not too pleased about that one.”

  “And you haven’t guessed who it is?” Neil’s tone held amusement, as if Adam was a dunce for not figuring it out.

  “Not yet. It’s why I came today. I want to know who’s been playing games with me.”

  Neil handed the pile of notes back. “She’s not playing games, Hazelton. Even I guessed it weeks ago.” He grinned. “I am enjoying this, however. Might even keep you guessing.”

  Adam shoved all the notes back into his pocket. “You’re not going to tell me?”

  “Calm down.” Neil’s expression sobered. “That’s my sister’s handwriting. She’s the poet.”

  “Your sister?” Adam held his breath as his heart skipped a beat. “You mean Janet, right? You don’t have another sister off at school somewhere like your brother, Sam?”

  “Nope. Just Janet.” He gestured to the people lining up for the food. “I’ll leave you alone to chew on that, while I get a plate of the real stuff. I’ll be here if you need support.”

  Support? Why would he need support? Again, he sought out Janet. His heart jumped as he found her sitting on a blanket with some other women. He was about to go to her when he spied the two vixens who’d cornered him in the store sitting on a blanket nearby. They looked his way.

  He hurried after Neil. “Wait up. I can’t think when my stomach’s growling.” It wasn’t the support Neil meant, but it was what Adam needed at the moment.

  The frenzied tapping on Janet’s forearm knocked the ice cream off her spoon. “Hey, watch it.” She fumbled to scoop the creamy lump off her blue dress.

  “There he is, Janet, with your brothers.” Emily’s nudge dumped the melting blob back in Janet’s lap.

  Her attempt to sponge up the sticky mess spread it in a wider circle. Giving up, she followed Emily’s sight line to where Adam relaxed beside Neil and the rest of her family. Had she seen him there earlier, her elation would’ve shot to the moon.

  Emily leaned into her shoulder as she always did to impart confidential information. “Neil said that Adam wouldn’t let his name go on the eligible bachelor’s list. I wonder why.”

  “I don’t k
now, Emily. Could be that he doesn’t want to marry.” A sudden, horrific thought exploded in her mind. “Perhaps he’s already married.”

  “He can’t be as no one has ever heard of a Mrs. Hazelton.” She peered at Janet with narrowed eyes. “Have you?”

  “No, I can honestly say I don’t know anything about him other than that he owns the most interesting store around.”

  “Look, Janet, he’s coming this way.” Emily rose to her feet. “I’ll ask him myself.”

  “No, Em.” Janet tugged at her hand, trying to pull her back down.

  Emily ignored her other than to whisper, “Mind your manners, Janet.” She stepped away from the blanket to stand in front of Adam. “Mr. Hazelton. Such a pleasant surprise to see you here today. Would you care to join us?”

  Adam tapped the brim of his hat. “Another time, perhaps.” He stepped around her, his eyes on Janet. “Miss Smith, would you walk with me?”

  Janet felt light-headed and wobbly, unsure if she could stand. Emily’s gape was reason enough to try it though. She accepted his hand and he pulled her up in a warm, firm grip without making her wince. A hand strengthened by years of honest work like Pa’s and her brothers’. But why was he here?

  “I didn’t think you’d come today.”

  He made a sound that could have been a grumble, or a chuckle if he’d allowed it to hit the open air. “Would you believe my stomach told my feet to march when my nose smelled the food?”

  Between his teasing voice and laughing eyes, her own stomach did funny flips.

  “Mr. Ha–zel–ton.”

  Janet dipped her lashes as she recognized the singsong voice of Diana Webb.

  Adam tucked her arm in his and began walking as if he hadn’t heard his name.

  “There you are.” Diana rushed in front of them with Doris by her side.

  Adam tapped his brim. “Ladies.” His gentle pressure on Janet’s arm directed her to circle them on the right.

  The ladies sidled over to block that way, too. Doris stepped forward, almost toe to toe with Adam. “We’re members of the Ladies Social Club and we want to know when you’ll put your name on the bachelor list.”

  “It won’t be on it. If you’ll excuse us.” His arm pressure signaled Janet to try again.

  Diana moved faster. “Why not? Are you taken?” Her eyes flickered to Janet and back.

  His hand tightened. Not enough to hurt, but enough that Janet felt his sweat soaking into her sleeve. She addressed the interlopers. “You’ve interrupted a private conversation. Mr. Hazelton was kind enough to give you an answer, and you are now on the verge of overstaying your welcome.”

  Janet took the lead to move around the two gaping women.

  “Well done,” he murmured. “But you didn’t have to stand up for me.”

  “I stood up for me. Those two were wasting my time as well as yours.”

  “I see. Am I holding you up from a scheduled engagement?”

  “No. I’d just rather spend time with—” She coughed into her cupped hand. Saying she hadn’t expected him to attend was one thing. Spilling out refrains of love was something better left for a time when they weren’t surrounded by curious onlookers.

  They reached the corner of the church property as the loud ring of metal striking metal announced that horseshoes were being pitched. She turned back to see her brothers waiting their turn. Neil glanced her way.

  Across the street, the railroad tracks glistened in the hot sun, the perfect place to maintain her good reputation where she would be seen without being heard. Before she could suggest it, however, she became aware of Adam’s stiffness. More so than usual, even as he looked down Main Street toward his store.

  To ease his tension, she placed her hand on his arm, since he had already given silent approval to do so by linking her arm in his earlier. “Shall we walk the perimeter, or cross over to the tracks?”

  His eyes flicked to her hand. “I’m not the marrying kind.”

  She snatched her hand back and tucked it in her other one. “Why are you telling me this? We’ve never even had a personal conversation.”

  His gray eyes glinted. “Because you proposed to me.” He held up the handful of floral notepapers. “Let’s see…‘hold me close and say you’re mine…Oh, that I could become your wife…’”

  Heat spread upward from her chest, tightening her throat and setting her face aflame. The papers wavered in front of her. “Stop.”

  “And here’s the most recent one…‘my finger aches for your wedding band.’”

  “Put them away.” She pushed them to his chest. “Please.”

  “What was it—a game?” He cocked his head. “You don’t know anything about me. Not once did you ask about my family, if I’m widowed, or even married.”

  “That’s not fair! You put up a wall between yourself and everyone else. You never asked how I was doing. You never even smiled at me.” Memories of how he used to be coursed through her veins like a runaway locomotive. She stamped her foot. “It’s a wonder you have any customers at all.”

  “Pipe down, you two.” Neil appeared by her side. “You’re making more noise than the horseshoes.”

  Behind him, a sea of faces in varying degrees of amusement watched their every move.

  Adam pocketed the notes. “I’m done here. Thanks for the invitation, but I don’t think I’ll be back.”

  Chapter 8

  By the Saturday after the church picnic, Adam was tempted to put up a sign that only buyers would be permitted in the store. Gawkers could look through the window. Of course, he wouldn’t do it, but thinking of work took his mind off Janet and the way he’d treated her in front of the whole church.

  Their personal conversation had gotten out of hand when he’d buried his true feelings under a stern veneer. He’d callously read her poems aloud, and the painful emotions that played on her face had pulled his heart in all directions. Yet he hadn’t stopped because she needed to understand that he wasn’t a man she could love forever. If she did, sooner or later he’d let his guard down and confess his past. And she’d never look at him the same again.

  For his sanity’s sake, he couldn’t risk it.

  A wagon pulled up outside and Neil jumped down. Adam noted the empty seat where Janet sometimes sat. He’d been relieved when she hadn’t accompanied her brother on the other two deliveries this week, but had hoped he’d see her on the Saturday run.

  There were two crates in the wagon. Neil carried the smaller one inside. “I’ll need a hand with the other one, Adam, if you have a minute. What did you order this time that’s so big, if you don’t mind me asking?”

  “I got a deal on toys for the Christmas season, so I ordered enough to fill my back corner. There might be a rocking horse in here, or a dollhouse. Dolls, trains, could be anything.”

  They set down the crate between the potbelly stove and the toy display.

  Neil wiped his forehead with his sleeve. “I’ve never seen so many toys in one place. Pa says toys are for idle boys who grow up to be fools.” He eyed a train set with longing.

  “Does he say the same for girls?”

  “No, he let Janet have a doll so she could practice being a ma.”

  Adam’s heart constricted as an image of Janet cradling a baby in a rocking chair by the stove came to mind. He cleared his throat. “Some parents don’t have the money to buy toys when they have a houseful of little ones.”

  Neil spread his arms to encompass the corner. “You don’t feel bad that little kids come in here and see all these, and their parents don’t have the money to buy them?”

  “I never thought of it that way, but, no, I don’t. It gives them something to dream about. Something to strive for when they’re wondering why they have to work so hard. Besides, you walk into any shop in this city and you’ll find things priced so high only a few can afford them, but they’re still on display. At least I let the kids play with these when their folks come to shop.”

  “And speaking of sh
opping.” Neil pointed to a porcelain creamer on display. “I’ll take that one. I was rushing to get through kitchen duty last night and broke ours.”

  Adam told him the price while wrapping the creamer in a soft cloth and then in brown paper with a string around it. He cleared Neil’s change from the counter and then opened his drawer.

  “That the famous drawer my sister got into?”

  “Yes, it is.” Adam stared at the bottom of the drawer, remembering how much of a deal he’d made when no harm had been done.

  “I see you still have the notes. You want me to bring them to her?”

  Adam’s breathing quickened. If he kept the notes, there was a chance she’d stop by for them herself. He closed the drawer. “How is she?”

  “What are you asking, Adam? She’s alive, and she’s hurting. I can’t tell you more than that.” He headed toward the door but stopped halfway there to add, “Like I said before, let me know if you need my support.”

  Adam awoke the next morning with an urge to read how the shepherd David was faring. He reached for the black leather Bible before he remembered that he’d sold it to the preacher a couple of weeks back and hadn’t gotten around to ordering a new one yet.

  He read a bit from a couple of books he had on a shelf, but neither one satisfied him.

  After breakfast, he walked down Main Street as he usually did, but when he reached the corner, instead of heading west to go to the store, he turned the other way. Before long, a song from his childhood beckoned him toward the open doors of the church by the tracks. He silently sang along as words he hadn’t thought of in years flowed over him, their truth touching his soul.

  When the song ended, he strained to hear the preacher’s voice.

  It wouldn’t hurt to go in and listen to the service. Maybe sing a few songs. And then at the end, he would ask the preacher if he could buy the Bible back.

  He ignored the turned heads as he slid into the back pew. Raised in church, he knew the routine, so when they started singing the final hymn he slipped outside and around the corner until everyone had left.