The letter also included a folded envelope with a large number of addresses of shipping companies. This was the reply from Captain Bruhns. But somehow I didn't want to go out to sea, now that everything was so nice.
My work, Uschi, good money, a nice apartment and nice friends - what more did I want?
At this moment I really believed that the idea of the sea journey was over for me. But faith means not knowing - it is just having faith! As so often in my life, everything was thought of but was not done accordingly. The disaster came at my next meeting with Uschi. She wanted to marry me without the knowledge and the support of her parents and move in with me, so that she did not have to move to Ulm. She said she loved me and that everything else didn't matter. She would stay with me, period! How could I explain to her that it wouldn't work out that way? I had to think of something without offending her too much and or even losing her love but what could I do?
Since I had a couple of days off and had wanted to spend them with Uschi before she moved to Ulm, I had an idea. People lied all the time and there were so many liars, so that it more or less didn't matter so much I told a lie. So I decided to tell her that my mother was seriously ill and I had to go home. Of course, I had my hidden agenda that when I returned she would already be in Ulm. She believed me and I really travelled home to my parents. But this was only because a letter from Bremen waited for me to be replied. My mother would forgive me for the small white lie.
I also took the list with the addresses of the shipping companies with me - it appeared to me that they were all the addresses that were available. But at that moment they weren't so very interesting as were only recently, because I had Uschi. I was so in love that I felt no desire to be without her.
Back to Frankfurt, I found out that Uschi and her family had actually moved to Ulm. Somehow I was relieved, but also very sad. We wrote the most ardent love letters to one another and I visited her in Ulm. I could not sleep Uschi's house, since supposedly there was no room available there. But in reality the parents feared that I would seduce their little Uschi. I had to look for a guesthouse and take a room there. If they only knew who seduced whom!
During my next visit I took a room but without the parents' knowledge that I was in Ulm. So we had the whole day for us. Nobody disturbed us in our love life, which we thoroughly enjoyed. Some parents don't see the real danger due to a lot of worries about their daughters. So it was with Uschi. If we had slept in the house of the parents, there would have been no chance at all, to devote ours to our love without restraint. Indeed we did nothing else but that for three days.
Little Uschi was always at home at night, what a sweet girl! Our love story ended after three months and a very sad and lonely time began. I had then reached a low point, even my friends couldn't make me any happy. I had to go through this alone and no one could help me with my great heartache. It was over and done with but nothing had even really started. We wanted to marry - I had given up my dream of seafaring. And now everything should be a thing of the past, just like that, without even having given it a chance? It was my fault that it had taken me fully by surprise by me being so unprepared.
Since I was really very lazy in writing I had not replied some of Uschi's letters. Instead I wanted to surprise her with a visit. I stood at the doorstep of my sweetheart uninvited one day. I was informed by her mother that Uschi was on holiday in Italy with her fiancé. I had to first digest this piece of news - and I needed a long time for it.
I spent my trip home to Frankfurt in a state of unconsciousness. For me, the route Ulm-Frankfurt was as if I was traveling for three months. The time in fact, in which I had been together with Uschi. A piece of earth broke under my feet. It is indeed a huge hole in front of me and I sank into my work, my friends, my sport and my dream of seafaring. I don't know why, but I was ashamed to be there at all. Was I responsible for this dilemma? What had I done so wrong? I had not written! And even if it was true, was it such a serious crime, which deserved such a harsh punishment? My despair was huge. I was still so young, and still had a lot to learn. Even in love, it is not always everything, as it seems. In the following weeks I was good for nothing. My friends made life as beautiful for me as it was only possible in my vale of tears. But without Uschi, my life wasn't as nice and as valuable as with her. I needed a whole weekend, to write to twelve shipping companies and to offer them my manpower as confectioner.
My childhood dream is fulfilled
My dream to go to sea became stronger once again. But I received 10 rejection letters from the 12 shipping companies because they did not take passengers and did not need a confectioner in the team. But one letter from Bremen gave me hope. It arrived from the sender "D. D. G. Hansa. Schlachte 6“. This shipping company wanted to employ me under the following conditions: 1. Due to my age, I was to bring a letter of consent from my parents. 2. I had to undergo a course for four weeks in a hotel managed by the shipping company. After that I could start as a kitchen-boy. If I had taken a training as a baker or as a butcher, it would have been such much easier. I would have been able to start immediately as a cook's mate or as a second chef. But I did not ruminate too long but instead I accepted the offer as a kitchen boy! So I would start as ‘Moses’ - those are the boys, who did not have any profession and started an apprenticeship only on board. Even they could go on up to being a captain - of course with school in the harbor, trips to see and back again in the school. All this for a few years. So that is how it went. But I had a different profession - and still had start as ‘Moses’. I was confectioner and not a cook - so I had learn once again. My goal was still to become a ship's cook.
It was a tough fight with Mother. Father was less concerned but Mother said that water did not have any beams. And, besides, what could happen there in the water. She said she knew about it from the war - many had been drowned as it happened in the case of "Gustloff". Her father had been a technician on the "Wilhelm Gustloff". The ship had drowned with about 9000 people on board. Now it was clear to me why they did not want to allow me to go out to sea. She had never spoken about her father before. Sometime, somewhere I had read a report on this tragedy. No one knows exactly how many souls were on board as the Russian torpedoes caused the ship to sink. It was in the Baltic Sea off the Polish coast. Till date, no one prefers to even mention this whole matter concerning
"Gustloff".
What did it matter if it were a few thousand German refugees and a ship's crew, they were all Nazis anyway. So it is more appealing to talk about a "Titanic". Those were "poor millionaires" who were killed tragically. The location of the sinking of the
"Gustloff" has been known as Obstacle No. 73 in the navigation charts but who cares about it today? But they were only 9000 refugees from the east, who lost their lives. They were certainly even the constructors of the concentration camps. It was like that those days during the war.
But now there was no war any more, at least not in our immediate geographical surroundings. There was and is war always and at any time in the world, only you don't hear about it at times.
I fought against this kind of conversations and I defended the new world of seafaring. I could die anywhere and I did not have to go out of the house for this. Many people die even in their beds.
Once I had seen statistics, in which the most dangerous animals in the world and the most deadly attacks worldwide per year were listed. So I told Mother that a million people die from malaria, transmitted by mosquitoes. Another forty thousand people die through snakebites, because of crocodiles and worldwide almost two hundred thousand people due to avalanches. Two hundred people are killed by hippopotamuses, fifty people by tigers - all, which are terrestrial animals. But only about fifteen or twenty die due to shark bites - animals that live in water. This is why life on the water is so much safer. Now even Mother had to smile and she said that I was very well prepared. In order to add emphasis, I also deliberately focused on and reminded her the fact that I would be twenty-one soon and that I coul
d then do what I wanted without her consent. To this Mother said that I was already doing what I wanted. Whether it was due to my moaning and complaining or whether due to my threat that I would go away and never come back that it had clinched it for me at the end, I cannot say - but Mother surrendered and I got her blessing. My resignations was easier than I thought it would be. The bakery manager only said that someone who wanted to travel should not be stopped. That wouldn't benefit anyone.
The farewell to my friends made me a bit sad, but I promised to send all of them postcards from all over. At the same time I knew exactly how lazy I was in writing letters. I also noticed that some of my sport comrades were a little jealous of me. I was able to spend a week at my parents' home, then I packed my little blue suitcase, which had already accompanied me for the past five years.
The longest train journey, which I now had to make alone, brought me to the main railway station in Bremen on the 8th of September 1960.
From there I took a taxi to Schlachte 6. I introduced myself to one Mr. Willman, who took care of personal data, and who guided my next steps. Then we went to the floating hotel, where I was to spend my time for the next weeks. It was called "Alibaba" and was anchored on the river Weser. As a training ship, it didn't go anywhere. I worked with a cook's mate, who was waiting for a new ship. He was an older cook, whom the shipping company retained because he had been there even before the war.
During the war he had been in India, or more precisely in Goa in detention and had married a local woman. He later remained there until his wife died and had returned to Germany. But because of his age, no one wanted to have him on board any more. And so he eked out a living during his twilight years on the "Alibaba". We were then probably something like Alibaba's thieves - though we were not forty in number, but we cooked for at least over thirty people.
I had to bring my papers together as well as visit a doctor and a dentist. It was purely a precautionary measure so that I would not have to go to a doctor already in the next port. I bought many cook books and butcher's guidebooks because I had a lot of catching up to do in this area.
I was called to the office and given a ticket to Hamburg and a Crew Members' Certificate of Hire for SS "Freienfels", which was docked in the port of Hamburg and which was getting a heaving maintenance.
I reported to the watch-keeping officer, who sent me up to the cook. There were some shipyard workers on board and a small team, for whom we prepared food. We - i.e. the Chef, the cook's mate - a butcher from the hotel and yours truly, the cook's / baker boy. If someone had called me a baker during my teaching time or even during my apprenticeship, I would have flipped out. There was a difference between bakers and confectioners and it was important for me that people were aware of this. Bakers work mainly with flour and confectioners with sugar. I also enjoyed making the following statement: Please note the last two letters: Schust-er (shoe-maker), Schrein-er (carpenter), Metzg-er(butcher), Bäck-er (baker), Bettl-er (begger), all have the same last letters! But now listen to this! Profess-or (professor), Dokt-or (doctor), Direkt-or (director), Kondit-or (confectioner) also have the same last letters! Please note this difference. But slowly I realized that there was a much stronger hierarchy on a ship.
As a "Moses"(cabin boy), you were just a tolerated being. Without any rights, not even with permission to be at the same table with an experienced sailor. But somehow it was different with me. People respected me because I already had a career. In addition, it was perhaps expected from me that I would put my knowledge as confectioner to use on the trip.
Which sailor could resist it, if there was a delicious cake on the table during the afternoon coffee time. And no one wants to make enemies with the kitchen-gang. There was some friendly teasing already because I was not from the coast but was a country mouse from Frankfurt.
There were terms that I had to learn quickly, for example: Pütz (bucket), Fulbrast (trash can), Feudel (cleaning rags), Back (bowl). But also a part of the fore-section of the vessel, and also the bells and many other expressions. The dirty work like peeling potatoes, cleaning the kitchen or the store rooms and cold storage rooms were reserved for me. Also lugging frozen quarters of beef or pig-halves from the cold storage rooms below through a steep staircase to the kitchen was part of my tasks, even during rough seas. But for now, we were still in shed no. 80 and were waiting for the completion of the repairs.
It was two days before our departure and we were equipped for the journey. Can you remember how you felt when you consciously waited for the first time for Christmas and for the distribution of the presents? That is how I felt in these days. I was excited and could hardly wait. We got supplies for two hundred days. At least everything, which was frozen and also the stock of tinned food. Fresh vegetables were always bought where they were available. But all this was not my problem.
It was the 30th of October, and it was my 19th. birthday. I had already handed out a round of beer for the kitchen, the stewards, the boatmen (skippers) and the carpenters during the 10 o'clock break for smoking. The kitchen, or the deck in front of the kitchen, was the meeting place for gossip and fun, from the first day. Like at the hair salon ashore. The 10 o'clock break was just the meeting place for a chat. Well, this was because there was hot meat broth in cold zones and cool drinks in hot zones. The "Guiampel-Water", which the seafarers called the lemonade, mixed together by us, was popular.
In my lunch break from 1 pm to 3 pm, I went to my room, which I shared with the butcher-cook's mate. I also had drunk some Becks beer with the others, which was available probably at every steamship from Bremen. I was in a good mood and wanted to relax a bit, so that I would be fit again for the evening.
A surprise awaited me, so to speak, a birthday present from my colleagues from the smoking time. The window - they were proper square ones, not the round portholes - had its curtains drawn. It was dark, and also the light switch, which I switched on and off a few times, remained so. There was a curtain in front of every sleeping berth, which you could draw if you wanted to have some peace and quiet. The lower berth was mine and the curtain was drawn. I undressed in the dark and pushed the curtain aside and swung into my berth. That is to say, I wanted to! At the moment the window's curtains opened and the light went on. And now I saw: There was a naked woman in my berth. And the crowd in front of the window bawled! There was no singing, but that it really raucous bawling, out of which I heard the "Happy Birthday To You".
My shock - I do not know whether it was due to the woman or because she was naked and the half of the crew were cheering in front of my window - passed quickly. I did the only thing that was probably right and lay down next to the strange naked woman in my berth. There was no escape, I had to go through it! But I got up once again, and closed the window and drew the curtain and lay down again next to my birthday present and reconciled myself to my fate.
They could have sent me flowers or a bottle of whiskey or a free ticket for the ghost train or simply a gift coupon for the bordello in the Herbertstraße for my birthday.
But no, it had to be on board here, so that the gossip mongers had something to talk about during the whole journey. Now I focused on my guest, and got to know from her that her name was Erna and that she worked in the guest-house Labermann as waitress. The service was good. She offered me her services for the next two hours first class and the service was perfect, as far as I could judge, since I did not have such a lot of experience yet. After Erna's "services" I knew something more about women. The boys had paid in advance and Erna was satisfied. During travels later and periods of rest in Hamburg, I met Erna more often but I had to pay her myself.
On this ship and during this trip, my birthday was spoken about often.
From Hamburg we said goodbye to one another and our journey began. I thought that I would probably need time till Port Said, to remember all the faces. But since you see a face often during the day, you remember it quickly. The steward of the crew and I shared a good camaraderie on board of the shi
p We often sat together and told each other stories of our country life. He was a clever boy and I was certainly able to learn a lot from him. He had also made some trips already on other ships. When I wanted to die of seasickness for the first time, he gave me good advice and survival techniques. We traveled to India, to the Persian Gulf, to America and back to the Gulf. After that we were to get a new route.
It was to be long trips without homeland harbor but I was happy. Finally my dream had been fulfilled. I was on the sea and on the way to India! Each shipping company had a specialty. The "Hansa" sailed to India and to the USA, "Hapag" to East Asia and Japan and the "Hamburg-Süd" brought bananas from South America. The "Norddeutsche Lloyd" was on the way to Asia and America and the "Levant" - shipping company was at home in the Mediterranean Sea. Others in turn, sailed to Africa or to the Norwegian Sea. The names of the ship and the chimneys were the identification of the shipping company. Names of ships ending with -fels or -stein or -Städte or German federal states were characteristic of each shipping company.
Our cook had already been in India and Pakistan (Hansa Special) very often and he cooked brilliant Curries.
Also the crew were obsessed with curries and that day I had the first day food for the travelers to India, so to say, for lunch. The Curry was not bad, but for me as a novice, it was too hot. I quickly learned that bread, yogurt and something sweet alleviated the spiciness. The food with curry was for lunch - now it was evening. We had arrived at the Bay of Biscay and the weather deteriorated.
My Dream to Be Free Page 5