An odd expression passed over Callum’s face, clearly contemplating Edric’s plight. Lifting his hand he gestured toward the crowd, indicating a group of women gathered in a circle a few feet away. “That is an interesting predicament,” he nodded. “The problem is that I find it difficult to believe there are no women within this ballroom capable of challenging your intellect. Shall we test your theory?”
It was comical to consider. Edric had no doubt he would prove his concern correct. Regardless of which lady he chose to approach, he would be the victor in Callum’s challenge. “By all means. Which of the girls before us do you wish me to make a fool of for your amusement?”
“If I wanted to be cruel and win this bet without effort, I would direct you to speak with my sister. I’m a man of honor, however. There must be some poor girl I can set you upon.”
“There are plenty to choose from. Simply point.”
Stroking his chin thoughtfully Callum observed the room, taking his time on the decision. At his side Edric remained waiting patiently, curious to see who would be chosen. “There,” Callum pointed to a woman in a soft violet gown, her brown hair curled tightly against the back of her head with tiny ringlets framing her heart-shaped face. She was physically pleasing. Edric hadn’t lost his appreciation for the appearance of the ladies at court. If only they could open their mouths and not ruin the perfect image.
Edric grabbed at his collar, making sure it was straight and centered before making his approach. This would be too easy. Had the thought come to him sooner, he might have been compelled to wager a few coins on the matter.
Skilled at the art of hiding his true emotions, Edric replaced the scowl on his face with a lighthearted smile, sweeping forward amongst the group of women with Callum at his side, catching the hand of his target in his own to gently kiss the back of it. “Good evening, Lady Dilaes. I trust you and your friends are enjoying the party?”
“Quite so, Your Highness,” the lady curtsied. Her face was positively glowing at the attention he gave. The jealousy of the other women around was practically palpable from Edric’s close proximity to the group. He felt like a mouse trapped in a lion’s cage.
“Perhaps you could settle a conversation the Captain and I were just having,” Edric continued. “We were discussing the inclusion of dancing at these functions and how utterly boring the activity is. Swaying back and forth on the floor until you have worked up a most dreadful sweat. So unbecoming, especially for a young woman such as yourself.”
“Oh, I must agree, Sir. It is a terrible thing. I for one would prefer dancing no longer be permissible on the grounds that it is inappropriate. People of any standing should not be subjected to such strenuous and frivolous acts.”
Edric let his eyes shift between Callum and the girl, stepping closer with an inquisitive gaze. “Ah, that is too bad. You see, I was arguing with the Captain about how wrong he is in that observation. I believe dancing is a beautiful way of expressing oneself. Artistic. I truly wish more of our guests would participate. It is too bad you disagree. I was thinking we could show the Captain the grace of a waltz this evening, but if you are disinclined…”
“Your Highness,” the girl stammered, flustered by her folly. Her friends fought their desire to laugh at her expense, their enjoyment raised with the deepening shade of red which covered her cheeks. “I misunderstood the argument,” she breathed. “Had I known you referred to a tasteful dance, like that of the waltz, my opinion would have been far more pleasing. The waltz happens to be my favorite. I think everyone should be required to dance it at least once at every ball.”
“I think I prefer the group dances, personally. It forces one to be more involved with their peers.”
“Yes, group dances are far superior to the waltz in that regard...”
“While at the same time, the waltz is much more artistic, like I was saying. I suppose it depends on what aspect you are attempting to achieve. There is something pleasant about watching two people glide in perfect time across the floor.”
“Yes, I enjoy the artistic nature of the waltz.”
“On second thought, perhaps the Captain is correct,” Edric smiled charmingly. With a dismissive wave he started to turn away from the young girl, having heard all he needed from her to prove his point. “Let us further our discussion elsewhere, Captain. I think I will not dance this evening after all.”
“But Your Highness, did you not say you wished to demonstrate a waltz with me?”
He paused, slowly twisting his head to glance over his shoulder at the woman. When he first approached, a feeling similar to guilt had crept over him at what he intended to do. Seeing this woman standing there now, frantic to say anything that might regain his good favor which she believed to have lost, he suffered only pity for her inability to have her own opinion. “Perhaps another time. I am not in the mood to sweat at the moment. Good evening, ladies.”
Making no move to look back, Edric waited for Callum to fall into step at his side. Once they were a safe distance from the women he burst into a miserable laugh, unsure if he really found the situation humorous enough to merit the gesture.
“You were right,” Callum frowned, his eyes straying to look over his shoulder at the girls still staring at them in disbelief. “That was painful to watch. How difficult would it have been for her to simply state her personal preference? Can conversation not be made between a man and woman if they don’t share the same view? What fun is there if they bend to your every thought?”
“That is exactly my point. None of these women interest me. Sure, they are pretty. At one time that was all I cared about but now – now I want a wife. I want a family, Callum. How am I supposed to find someone suitable amongst these sheep? Am I doomed to be as I am forever? I do nothing but take up space in these walls. Just once I want to feel… something. No one here is even worth the silk they’ve wrapped themselves in. Like an unwanted present being thrust in my face.”
Lost in his thoughts Edric let his eyes settle on the floor. It was a waste of time. This party was no different from any other. If he stayed there much longer, it would only wear on him more. He needed to find an excuse to get away. Illness always worked for his sisters. Maybe if he suddenly feigned a headache he could escape the hovering females that had taken up a constant circle around him in hopes of catching his eye. Vultures.
“But what of Count Mirlu’s daughter? Lady Abril? I was under the impression the two of you were becoming quite serious over the past year. Aiva and I even suspected the two of you would marry. Would it be out of line to ask what happened? Was she not a suitable match?”
At the sound of the name Edric inhaled sharply, a sense of humiliation making it impossible to look his friend in the eye. Lady Abril. That was a woman he hadn’t spoken of in months. Another skeleton in his closet best left covered and hidden away. “She was not suitable at all,” he replied quietly. Why did it hurt him so much to think about that woman? She was in his past and he intended to keep her there. No one knew the circumstances of their separation other than Count Mirlu. Discussion of the matter was far too sensitive to risk being overheard by the keen ears of those at court. “This is not the place to speak of it. Perhaps we could talk of Lady Abril another time.”
It was uncomfortable how suffocating an open ballroom could feel. Spacious yet somehow restricting. He couldn’t say or do anything without someone overhearing. An opportunity finally presented itself for him to speak with Callum on the issues that had been troubling him for so long and these people were standing in his way.
Callum’s gaze remained steady, ignoring the uncertainty which was obvious in Edric’s every gesture. “This is your sister’s party. I doubt anyone would miss us if we stepped out to take a stroll through the courtyard. I could use some fresh air anyway.”
Oh, how tempting the thought was. No one would know he was gone. Not right away, anyway. “I suppose I could use some fresh air as well. Just walk slowly. We shouldn’t draw attention to ourselv
es.”
Nonchalant, they made their way through the crowd, smiling and nodding with exaggerated pleasantness to everyone they passed. The most prominent people of Tanispan society were in attendance, dressed in their best, indulging themselves in the latest gossip. It seemed like that was all anyone did these days. Everyone knew the business of everyone else better than they knew their own lives.
When they reached the door to the ballroom Edric felt a wash of relief. Something about that room gave him terrible anxiety. For so long it had been more of a torture chamber than a place of celebration. He was grateful for the cooler air of the foyer, walking at Callum’s side toward the privacy of the inner courtyard.
Now that they were free, he was beginning to second-guess whether it was a wise idea to say anything. He didn’t doubt Callum’s trust. The issue lay in what Callum would think of him after he heard the terrible secrets that had built up over the years. As children the things they hid from the public were simple. Harmless. The affairs of adulthood were far more incriminating. Edric couldn’t bear the thought of losing Callum’s respect. But he had no choice. Callum was already expecting him to talk. There was no backing out of it now.
He said nothing while they moved through the long hall, opening the door to the courtyard to let in a light, chilly breeze. The coming spring could be felt during the daylight hours, though now that the sun had sunk below the horizon, the lingering cold of winter remained. Edric found himself wishing he’d thought to bring a cloak before they found their way outside. It was too late now. They were already stepping onto the cobblestone path, surrounded by the bitter wind. There was a noticeable moisture in the air. It smelled of rain.
“So,” Callum said suddenly, cutting through the silence with the question Edric had been dreading. “Tell me what has happened. Your hesitance makes me nervous. I hate to think what you might have done to bring this melancholy upon yourself.”
Did he dare answer? The topic was one Edric had never spoken of to anyone. He’d born the secret alone for so long. It left him uneasy to consider dredging up such painful memories when it had taken months to finally push them from the forefront of his mind. But he had to tell someone. He couldn’t deny how badly it had eaten away at him to keep it to himself. To suffer his shame in silence. He couldn’t do it anymore. “Much has happened since you and I had an opportunity to talk. Please tell me you won’t hold my actions against me. I carry enough remorse for them without adding further insult in losing my closest friend.”
“Edric, you have no reason to concern yourself with me holding anything against you,” Callum frowned. “You remained true to me despite the mistakes I made in my past, some of which could have cost me my head. The only offense I will take is if you choose to keep your troubles inside and deny me the chance to be your friend.”
“You should know that I have gone through great pains to keep secret the things I’m about to tell you. They cannot be repeated to anyone.”
“You have my word, Edric. On my honor, your secret will not leave this courtyard.”
Distracted, Edric began to think over the events of the past few years. There was so much to say. Where could he possibly begin? “I am a fool, Callum.” It seemed the best point to start with. As long as he was able to admit this fact, it would be easier to tell of the ignorance he displayed in the past. “You mentioned my relationship with Lady Abril Mirlu, who you may have noticed is not in attendance this evening. Nor is her father. I do not expect they will be back at court for a while.”
“She has departed from court? Do you know where she has gone?”
“To the country to have her child, I imagine.”
Edric shifted his gaze to the cobblestone at his feet. He was prepared for the shocked expression that covered Callum’s face. In a way he was hoping for it. Despite his embarrassment, he took an odd pleasure in seeing Callum stammer, unsure of what words to use to express his disbelief. “Child? Edric, it isn’t yours, is it?”
“Of course not,” he waved dismissively. Although it would be entertaining to drag the amusement out, he recognized that it wouldn’t help his case. The subject wasn’t something he wanted to take lightly. “You will have to forgive me. I’m not entirely sure where to begin. I’ve never talked about this with anyone before.”
“The beginning is always a good place to start.”
He chuckled to himself. The beginning. Where exactly was the beginning? “Perhaps I should start by saying that I regrettably found myself suffering a sudden envy toward you and Aiva. I desire the happiness of companionship. To have a wife. A family. My greatest fear is ending up like my uncle Enaes. Before his death, he enjoyed the company of many women. I don’t think he ever truly understood the meaning of the word love. The fact is – he died alone. Though I would never say it in front of my family, he accomplished nothing during his time as the Crown Prince other than bedding half the ladies at court and tarnishing the Levadis name. Many people considered him a joke. I realized that if I didn’t settle myself soon, people would start to question me as well.”
“My father has told me all about your uncle Enaes,” Callum patted Edric’s shoulder reassuringly. “I have no fear of you becoming anything remotely like him. No one will ever compare the two of you unless you begin utilizing little to no discretion in your bedroom affairs. Given that I have heard nothing of your bed whispered throughout the crowd while here in Sivaeria, you clearly have done something right in concealing your private life from their notice.”
“Yes, well, that wasn’t always the case. Abril’s father, Count Mirlu, somehow acquired the knowledge that I was actively seeking a bride,” Edric started. His voice trailed off, staring into the distance blankly. Why was it so difficult for him to speak? It was in the past. By now it should come more easily to his lips yet it still tore at him to remember the humiliation. “When Lady Abril caught my eye, I was not quite so aware of the vacuous nature of women in society. When they expressed the same views as I did on a subject, I foolishly believed their words to be truth. But, unbeknownst to me, I wasn’t the only man who took an interest in Abril. To Count Mirlu’s dismay, she had taken a liking to a gentleman visiting from Voiene. A well arranged tryst between the two left her in a very delicate situation for a lady of standing such as herself.”
“So the child is this gentleman’s?”
“The very same,” he nodded. “Count Mirlu found out about her lack of propriety and forbade Abril from ever seeing the man again. A devious man like Mirlu doesn’t accept defeat, however. He found their misfortune an opportunity for his family. It took very little to persuade Abril into doing whatever he said once she realized her reputation was in jeopardy. So when Count Mirlu instructed her to seek my bed, she did so willingly, and I, like the imbecile that I am, was too blind to notice I was being played a fool. Mirlu figured if they could claim the child was mine, I would have no choice than to propose marriage, thus taking their name as my own and lifting their status by associating the Mirlu name with the Levadis crown.”
Callum grimaced, his gaze lifting to stare up at the evening sky. Edric tried to search his face for what was going through his head, unable to determine anything. Surely he had questions. Something to ask regarding the situation. Instead Callum remained silent. Dejected, Edric continued his story, shoulders bowed forward, the depression which plagued him worsening. “When she told me she was with child and that it was mine, I panicked. I fought with myself, knowing honor required me to marry her, while at the same time I doubted my feelings for her. When we were together her distance was obvious. Her heart was still with her lover, now returned to Voiene. The reality of my predicament brought me to my senses. Throughout the week after she told me we were to have a child, I began picking up on details that had been lost to me before. Her constant shift in opinion to match mine. The lack of happiness in her eyes when she told me she loved me. It was all lies.”
“How did you discover the child was someone else’s? The rightful father of any
child is next to impossible to prove. It’s the reason our people trust our heritage to be told by our women.”
“Perhaps I was too hard on her, but under the stress of the situation, I finally broke. I didn’t want to marry a woman who held no love for me and I very little for her. My trust was faltering.” Edric shook his head, inhaling a shaky breath. “She became impatient with my hesitance to speak with my parents. She demanded I go to my mother and father immediately and tell them of the child and insist upon a hasty marriage. Her demands were desperate. I noticed fear in her eyes that grew every time I denied her requests. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I confronted her with my suspicions and accused her of carrying someone else’s child. At the time I didn’t believe it. Not completely. It was her guilt-stricken face which told me I had hit upon the truth. Knowing her charade was over, she told me everything. Treachery of that degree could easily have been brought before the King and Queen to determine a proper punishment. For my own selfish desire to avoid scandal, I gave Abril and her father an escape from trial. If she and Count Mirlu departed from court before the week was out, I offered my silence on the matter. Their chambers were evacuated before morning.”
Edric paused beside a bench situated at the center of the garden. He had no ambition to remain on his feet. The memory was exhausting. Draining him of what little energy he possessed at the start of the evening. Defeated, he lowered himself onto the bench, leaning forward to bury his face in his hands. Silently Callum came to sit at Edric’s side, resting his elbows on his knees, thoughtful. Contemplative of the story laid out before him. “I believe I understand your trouble now,” he said quietly, making no attempt to force Edric’s eyes from the cobblestone. “Lady Abril has stolen your faith in women. You find yourself unable to trust anything spoken by the ladies at court.”
The Myatheira Chronicles: Volume Three: Crown of Ice Page 10