“Neomi…”
“No, let me speak,” she stopped him, leaning her head against his chest, her arms sliding around his back in a tight embrace. “I have been a fool. Please, forgive me.”
Forgive her? What did she need forgiveness for? “Neomi, I don’t understand.”
“I have wronged you, Edric. When I came to you and told you that I felt nothing, I was not being truthful. I thought it was best for both of us to leave the other behind but I have found that to not be accurate. Since that day I have not stopped thinking about you. You were hurt by my foolishness and I cannot bear the thought of letting you continue to think I care nothing for you.” Her voice was nothing more than a soft whisper, conscious of the others still somewhere nearby. The enclosed space would cause their voices to carry. They needed to be careful.
Edric didn’t know what to say. She spoke the words he’d wanted to hear for so long and now he found himself speechless. She had lied to him. Somehow he’d known. He suspected that to be the case ever since those hurtful words fell from her lips. The lingering question was why. Why would she do something like that? Why torment them both when they suffered enough, knowing that they shouldn’t share those feelings for one another?
She watched him, almost desperate the way she stared into his eyes. It was too perfect. He wasn’t convinced that he hadn’t fallen asleep and was dreaming the whole thing into life. “Why?” he whispered; finally finding his voice to ask the question burning in his mind. “Why did you tell me those things? What made you think it was better that way?”
“My father,” she lowered her gaze, ashamed. “He knows there to have been impropriety between myself and a member of the Vor’shai in the company of my men in Isavo.” Edric’s heart skipped to hear the news, opening his mouth to speak. Neomi’s finger pressed against his lips, silencing him. “He was angry, but he also recognized the debt he owed to you and your General for saving my life. Without you, I would have perished, and he knows this to be fact. He informed me that he would overlook my behavior and not ask for the identity of the man in exchange for my promise that the affair was finished. I gave him my word that it was nothing he needed to concern himself with, but he made it very clear… if I was to continue with my impropriety, he would find you and kill you.”
“So you thought if you told me you never loved me that I would cease my desire to pursue you?”
“It was my hope, yes.”
“And Enapo? Were you ever really promised to be his wife?”
Neomi grimaced at the question. “My father entered into the negotiations with him in hopes that a union between me and a member of our own people would quell the rumors whispered amongst the warriors. Enapo agreed, though only under specific stipulations which I was not willing to accept.”
“Stipulations?”
“Yes,” she nodded. “You know my reputation is not desirable for marriage – especially not for the brother of the man I failed to produce an heir for.”
Shaking his head Edric stared at her, confused by what she was saying. It didn’t make sense. There weren’t any stipulations which would make her more likely to conceive a child. “I don’t understand,” he frowned. “What did he require? Was it coin he demanded?”
“If only his request had been purely monetary, I very well may have been convinced to go through with the arrangement. However, he wanted something more. A guarantee of an heir.”
“Such a thing cannot be guaranteed…”
“It can be if the child is conceived prior to the vows.”
Edric fell silent, his heart growing cold at Neomi’s response. Prior to the vows? He didn’t want to think Enapo would suggest something so indecorous. He’d been the key to their survival against Ewei in their journey to Nahedu. Edric thought him an intelligent man. One worthy of higher regard than what Neomi implied. “Are you saying he demanded rights to your bed before he would agree to matrimony? And if no child was conceived, what then? He would turn you away? Use you for his own pleasure only to discard you when he grew tired of the game?” The look on her face was all Edric needed to know that he had hit upon the truth. She was miserable. He could see it in her eyes, filled with shame, their usual brilliance dimming, avoiding his angry stare. It was too disgusting for him to accept. “What of your father? Tell me he did not approve of these… stipulations.”
“He gave consent only if I agreed as well,” she replied quietly, her embrace tightening around Edric’s rigid form. She was distraught. Although she displayed it differently than other women Edric was accustomed to, he could sense it in her movement, the way she clung to him, desperate to ease the tension which had taken over him. “You should know that I turned him away. I was such a fool… I nearly gave in until I realized that I could never be with him. Before I met you I might have been convinced to accept his ridiculous request but you have shown me that life doesn’t have to be so meaningless. I can still be loyal to my people without having to subject myself to utter misery. When he…” she faltered, swallowing hard before continuing. “When he kissed me, I felt nothing the way I do with you. I kept seeing your face and I knew then that I was making a mistake in letting you go. I rejected Enapo and came to find you so I could tell you everything and beg your forgiveness but by the time I reached the camp, you were already gone.”
“How did you find us? Few people knew which direction we were headed.” He knew the answer before the words finished forming on his lips. Callum. No one else would have provided her the information. Neomi knew how to push Callum to get what she wanted, yet he wasn’t convinced that Callum hadn’t provided their whereabouts willingly.
Tilting her chin up, she gazed into Edric’s eyes, the sight of her in his arms easing his muscles. How could he stay angry when she looked at him that way?
“Moinie told me that you had left,” she whispered in response. “She mentioned who you were in the company of and I was horrified to discover Ewei to have been granted a position in the search party. His treachery should have placed him in the darkness of the prison cells. Not out here where he would be free to continue his betrayal. But Moinie would tell me nothing else. When I found your Captain, I was surprised to find that he was equally concerned for you as I was.”
“There is no reason for you to be concerned. As you can see, I am still standing.”
“For now.” The expression on her face fell in a way that Edric wasn’t sure how to read. It was worse than mere sadness. She looked anguished at whatever thoughts plagued her, the tightness of her embrace increasing. “Edric,” she breathed his name, the sound striking him in a way he’d never felt before. Chills coursed through him, not from the cold, but from the pleasure he took in hearing her speak it, wishing he could hear her say it a hundred times more. “Callum shared something with me which has caused an ache in my chest ever since.”
Gently he kissed her on the forehead. Whatever she feared, he wanted to make it go away. “You do not have to worry, Neomi. We are here now. Together. Is that not enough to ease your heart?”
“No,” she shook her head, pulling away slightly. He stared down at her, taken aback by the change in her demeanor. Her stubbornness had returned, the glow of her eyes flashing brightly as she gazed back at him, unwavering. “Your friend believes you have come on this mission with the intention of sacrificing yourself. Tell me this is not true.”
Of all the things Callum could have told her, why did it have to be that? But now what? He couldn’t lie to her. She would be made aware of the truth soon enough and when she learned it, she would hate him for his dishonesty after she had gone through so much to make amends for her lies. It would be a slap in the face if he repaid her with anything less than the truth.
How could he explain it? No one would understand his reasons. Not even Neomi. If she cared about him to the extent she claimed, she would do everything within her power to convince him not to go through with it. But he wouldn’t be manipulated. He had already made up his mind. Not to mention the simp
le fact that there was no one else. He just needed to find a way to make her see it the way he did. That it was the only choice.
Inhaling a deep breath he brought his hand up to brush a stray strand of hair from Neomi’s face, hoping to break the news to her gently. She wasn’t an emotional woman, but she had let her feelings lead her here. There was no way to know how she would react if he didn’t ease her into the truth. “I have considered a number of things which brought me to the conclusion that it must be me,” he said softly.
Neomi’s face contorted into an agonized grimace, shaking her head in disbelief. “No,” she whispered. “No, this cannot be the truth. Why would you do such a thing?”
“I do it for you,” he smiled, cupping the side of her face tenderly in his hands. This was his chance to let her know exactly how he felt. He wasn’t going to let anything stand in his way. “I love you, Neomi. Nothing will ever change that. The day you came to tell me you no longer cared about me, it had been my intention to ask you to marry me. If I thought things could be different, I would do so even now.”
“But things can be different,” she gasped, staring at him in horrified desperation. “We can run away together. If marriage was your intent then ask me now. I assure you I will not spurn your offer.”
“You would be alright with that kind of life? Constantly on the run, never able to see your family again? Your father would never accept it and your brother would see me dead before he saw you as my wife.”
“I would do anything you asked if it meant having you with me.”
Her words stung. From the lips of any other woman they might not have had the same power but from her it was different. She wasn’t prone to such statements. The Ovatai didn’t believe in love, and though she hadn’t used the word, her proclamations said it more clearly than she might realize. And it was tempting. That was the worst part of all! But no. He had to do this. His people were counting on him to prevent the Avaern from encroaching upon Tanispa while Neomi’s kinsmen were already dying in wait of them to return with the weapon. It would be selfish to change his plan now simply at the thought of his own happiness. Still, the temptation nagged at the back of his mind. She wanted to marry him. It would be so easy to take her in his arms and run away, leaving this damnable cave behind.
He couldn’t make her the promise of marriage. It was more than he could guarantee at a time like this when so much relied on him to stay firm in his decision. His time was too short to offer her anything more than his love until they found the weapon and his spirit was torn from his body to appease the magic cast upon it by the ancient shaman.
Lowering his arms he removed the glove from his right hand, the glow from Neomi’s body catching the diamonds on the face of his ring, glinting in the dim light of the passage. With a heavy heart he slid it from his finger, tilting it from side to side, letting the light play off the gemstones. The Levadis family crest. A symbol of the highest honor in Tanispa. It would only go to waste if he held onto it now.
Lightly taking her left hand in his, Edric pulled the heavy leather glove away that she wore, placing the ring on Neomi’s middle finger, knowing it would be too large for any other digit. It sparkled in the light. He couldn’t remember ever having seen his family’s crest look any more beautiful than it did against her pale skin. “It would bring me great honor if you would wear this. No matter what happens, I want you to keep it.”
The pain in her eyes deepened, her fingers clutching at Edric’s hand to keep him from pulling it away. “That does not sound like a proposal of marriage. Is it the custom of your people to make the request in this fashion?”
“Our engagement customs are nothing like this, but you are correct in it not being a proposal,” he sighed. There was no gentle way of saying the truth. “Neomi, I need you to understand that it would make me the happiest man on Myatheira if you were to be my wife… I simply know that the path I have chosen would only bring you despair if I offered a commitment that I am not capable of keeping.”
“Why can you not keep it? If you want me to be your wife, then let it be so.”
“It is not that easy…”
“Of course it is!” she exclaimed, instantly aware of her mistake. Casting a hesitant glance over her shoulder she let the light around her flicker out, concealing them in the darkness. They stood there in silence, waiting, listening, satisfied to find no one approaching. “You do not have to sacrifice yourself for me. My people haven’t shown you enough kindness to merit such a gift. Let us figure out who will be the source of energy for the weapon. I will not allow it to be you.”
“It’s not a matter of me being allowed. Name one other person who would be willing to do it. I can think of none.”
Neomi’s lower lip trembled as the light around her burst back to life, her hands working to remove Edric’s ring from her finger. “Then I will not wear this,” she stated firmly, holding it out to him defiantly. “I refuse to acquiesce in wearing this ring without a promise that you intend to make me your wife.”
His heart ached to see her look this way. When he first met her, she never would have allowed anyone to see her this vulnerable. It was a significant show of trust for her to display herself so openly in his presence. Her response was to be expected. He couldn’t blame her for being insulted that he would offer her his family ring without a request for marriage. But how could he do it? He didn’t want to give her empty promises. “Please, keep it,” he whispered, pushing her hand back toward her chest. “If by the decision of the gods I am to survive this mission, then I will do everything in my power to see you at my side. Marriage is my desire, and if you would have me as your husband; then I ask that you wear the ring.”
“I am yours, then,” she nodded decisively, slipping the ring back onto her finger. A wash of relief came over Edric to see if safely on her hand once again, a feeling of joy creeping into the back of his mind to mingle with his sorrow. Had he been able to give her the ring the first day he thought to do so, things would have been far different. He wouldn’t struggle against himself the way he did, unable to enjoy the happiness he should feel in this moment. It was hard to smile in the face of his would-be bride when he knew she would mourn his death before she could ever celebrate their life together.
Swept up in the moment he gave no resistance to her arms wrapping around him once again, their lips meeting in a passionate kiss. The world around them melted away, their bodies intertwining, holding one another tightly, as if afraid to let go in fear of finding it to be a dream. He knew it couldn’t last. The others would notice them missing soon, if they hadn’t already. They needed to get back to the group before anyone decided to come looking.
The thought had no more shaped in his head when he heard a loud commotion coming from the passageway, feeling Neomi’s body torn from his grasp, her face replaced in his vision by Onuric’s hate-filled gaze, hardened and menacing. Lifted into the air by Onuric’s strong grasp on his arms, Edric’s eyes opened wide, panic coursing through his veins. He didn’t know what to do. It was like being plucked from his favorite dream and thrown violently into his worst nightmare.
“How dare you lay a finger on my sister!”
“Onuric, stop!” Neomi shouted from somewhere behind her brother. Edric could feel Onuric’s arm shake as if under some strain, nearly releasing his hold before managing to regain control.
“Neomi, step away. This matter no longer concerns you.”
“I can explain.” Edric wanted to laugh at himself for saying something so foolish. What exactly was he going to explain? Telling Onuric the story would do nothing to assuage his anger. The truth would likely only make matters worse. “Onuric, please,” he tried to stay calm. “Let me go and I will tell you anything you want to know.”
Somewhere in the darkness Edric could hear Ehren commanding Onuric to stop. So they were all there. Everyone was witness to their private meeting. And Edric had no one to blame but himself.
Giving Edric another hard shake, Onuric th
rew him to the ground, the sole of his heavy leather boot coming to rest on Edric’s chest, holding him down. “I didn’t want to believe the rumors were true. You disgrace my family, Vor’shai. I will see you dead for this.”
The sound of scraping metal reached Edric’s ears before he saw Onuric’s hand lower to the sword belt at his hip, firmly grasping the hilt of the weapon he kept there. He didn’t want to die here. Not like this. If his blood was spilled prematurely, it would hinder their mission. “Onuric, don’t do this!” He hated how frantic he sounded. It did nothing to improve his image in Onuric’s eyes, though at this point Edric no longer believed improvement possible.
Neomi was at Onuric’s side instantly, arms outstretched, knocking him out of the way, their bodies tumbling sideways to the floor. Seeing his window for escape, Edric clambered to his feet, backing away from where Onuric was already starting to rise, throwing Neomi off him as if she weighed nothing more than a feather. A loud thud resounded through the passage where she collided with the wall, crying out from the impact of her head against the ice. Onuric looked startled by his own strength, glancing to where Neomi landed, an expression of concern on his face. Disoriented, she struggled to stand, using the wall to help her balance. “Do not do this, Onuric,” she said through gritted teeth, her expression a combination of pain and anger. “My personal business is not yours to involve yourself in. Leave it to our father to decide how it should be handled. We have greater things to worry about at the moment.”
“This will be handled here and now,” Onuric sneered. With a surge of speed he rushed forward, the wind knocked from Edric’s chest at the sensation of Onuric’s shoulder colliding against him. He didn’t have a chance to catch his balance, the weight of Onuric’s body landing hard on top of him, pinning him to the ground.
The Myatheira Chronicles: Volume Three: Crown of Ice Page 85