Keeping My Pack

by Lane Whitt

  “Can we go home now?” I ask Remy, interrupting whatever grandfather was going on about,

  The subject of my stare looks back at me, a frown in place. “Your home is with your people, your wolves, in Colorado.” He tells me.

  I shake my head slowly. “No. It’s with the men who cared for me without asking anything in exchange. I already have a home, with them.”

  “Kitten…” Remy says my name softly. “We should probably talk about this before you dismiss them entirely. You’ve been through a lot and have learned a lot today, you don’t have to decide now, but know that whatever you chose, wherever you go, we’ll go too.”

  I think over his words for a few moments before I decide that my head hurts, and I’m done with today. “Fine, we’ll talk about it, but I want to go home, for a little while at least.”

  Grandfather splutters. “The pack will want to meet you…”

  I cut him off. “And they will, maybe. I need some time to think things over, and I need to talk about this with my family.” I emphasize the word family, looking for any reaction from Maksim, but there is none.

  He frowns harder and crosses his arms over his chest. “That’s something else we need to talk about. Your name. Kitten is not a proper name for a wolf princess, let alone an Ivaskov. Katerina would be better suited for you; it would explain the nickname and your grandmother was named Katerina.”

  “I already have a name and its Kitten. It’s a name I’ve earned, and I’m keeping it, suitable or not.”

  “You earned it? What does that even mean?” He scoffs.

  I sigh and close my eyes, leaning my head back against the couch. “If you knew anything about me, you’d know that I was first raised a cat by a mentally challenged woman. You’d know that I was left alone my entire life up until I met Ash and Tristan and the others. I took care of myself, taught myself everything I know and ignored the rest of the world. But you don’t know that because you don’t know me. You’re just part of a family that decided I was trash.”

  “Well…I-I didn’t…” He started.

  “It doesn’t matter. Now, if you’d excuse us, I want to leave. Unless you plan on making me a prisoner like your son had?”

  Maksim looks confused and angry, but he gets to his feet and brushes off imaginary dirt off his pants. He meets Remy’s eyes and jerks his head to the door. “A word?” He asks him between gritted teeth. He stalks off, slamming the door behind him.

  “Well, that went smoothly. The rest of you get packed up and ready to go. Jace, make the arrangements, something private. I’ll be back in a few.” Remy instructs before following him outside.

  I sit patiently as Logan tries to untangle my messy hair. Jace offered to start on my bangs while he did the back. I feel like a gross monster in front of these perfectly styled boys. Tristan had brought in a platter of cheese and crackers for me to snack on while I was to be poked and prodded, but the sight of it alone had my tummy upset. Great, wracking sobs came out of nowhere and took me by force. The guys instantly went on alert, and I tried to explain what had me so upset, but it is hard to manage through all of the never-ending crying. After my explanation of why the sight of food caused such a reaction in me, my boys wore expressions of horror, heartbreak, and sadness. Tristan’s generally cheerful and soothing features transformed into something I can only describe as murderous rage and was enough to scare me into calming myself. He had closed his eyes and breathed deeply for what seemed like forever, and when he opened them again, the look was gone, replaced by a look of determination. He instructed Jace and Logan to move to either side of me while he sat in front of me on the bed and offered me a cube of the cheese from between his thumb and forefinger. I shook my head at first, Adam’s voice ringing in my head, telling me if I eat, he gets to touch me. Tristan laid his forehead against mine and whispered so low I couldn’t understand the words, but the soothing effect his voice had over me was there, as was the electric sparks from earlier. My eyes closed of their own accord and I just listened to him. Eventually, I felt the slide of the cheese over my lips, and my tongue flicked out to taste it on instinct. My mouth flooded with saliva, my body telling me I really wanted that bite of cheese, and Tristan’s voice was convincing my mind that no harm will come to me if I eat it.

  I opened my mouth, taking in the small bite of food and chewed it slowly, moaning deeply as the delicious flavor washed over my taste buds. Then. The tears came again.

  “Oh, Sweetie.” Tristan sighed brokenly.

  I shook my head quickly, offering him a smile as well. “It’s not that, I promise. It’s just so good.” I hiccupped, giggling at my ridiculousness.

  Tristan smiled too and offered me another bite with his lean fingers. Logan and Jace resumed their brushing, and we fell into companionable silence. I felt odd at first, knowing I was being fed like a baby but accepted his offerings anyway. Somehow, him offering me the food instead of me reaching for it myself made it easier. I’d be embarrassed once my belly was full for the first time in months.

  “There you go Doll, pretty as ever.” Jace states as he sits back and Logan fluffs my hair. I blush a little at his compliment but tell him thank you. He turns his cheek and leans closer, so I give him a quick kiss, blushing further. My emotions are all over the place, and it’s hard to remain calm. Just this morning I was being stabbed to death, and now here I am, being taken care of again by the people I cherish most in the world. It feels unreal, and I’m still waiting to wake up any second, broken and bleeding on the cold, concrete floor.

  Remy steps back into the small house and scrubs a hand over his red hair. “So, we ready to go then?” Logan asks through a mouth full of crackers, getting a few crumbs on Tristan, who just brushes them off with a roll of his eyes.

  Remy scratches at his eyebrow with a thick finger. “I suppose we are. Though, I’ll be escorting the prisoners to the pack house before I return home, along with some of the soldiers we brought with us. If you don’t mind, Kitten, I’d like to kill them as quickly as possible, and I’d like for you not to have to witness it.”

  “Okay,” I answer him, even though it wasn’t a question. I’m not sure if I really want to watch that anyway. I just want to be done with them.

  “Okay.” Remy nods. “I promise to do the job myself; they will cause you no more harm. I will only be a few days, but when I return, we’ll uh, well, we’ll have some guests.” He states reluctantly.

  “Guests,” Ash repeats with a raise of his brow.

  “Maksim agrees that Kitten needs some time to recuperate, but he’s asked for himself and Albert to stay with us as guests so he can get to know his granddaughter and for Albert to tutor her, and us, on wolf policies and politics. Even if you choose to walk away from it all, Kitten, you can’t control what others do, and the Ivaskov pack will still look to you to lead them, it’s in their nature.” Remy explains with a shrug.

  “And you thought this a wise idea?” Finn asks warily.

  “I do,” Remy states confidently. “The rest of us either had to choose to leave our families or were chased away from them. Kitten has an opportunity that none of us had, and I think she should be given the chance to know her family. I won’t force the issue, but he’ll be around if she changes her mind.”

  “I understand,” I told him, meeting his eyes. I saw no judgment in them; he really did just want me to have the option.

  “Right then,” Logan jumped to his feet. “Let’s blow this joint!”

  Kellan

  The first few days back home were interesting, to say the least. To the ignorant eye, Kitten appeared to be just fine. She smiled when she was supposed to, laughed when she was supposed to and was around people when she was supposed to. When she thought no one was looking though, her gaze would drift away, and she’d shut down. She swayed between being too busy with lessons with Finn and yoga with Reed and car maintenance with Ash, to locking herself in her room for hours, lying in bed where sometimes we could hear muffled crying.


  At a loss for what to do and how to help her, my brothers and I kept ourselves busy as well. There was a lot to be done after having been gone for so long. The entire house needed a good dusting, groceries needed to be thrown out and new ones purchased, mail needed to be sorted, things of that nature. There were also our professions to be dealt with, but no one wanted to leave the house for any length of time, so we left our businesses and practices in the capable hands our employees.

  I sit up in bed with a sigh. It hurt my heart that someone I care about is suffering, and there’s no medicine or medical procedure to cure her of her pain. I slip on a pair of my favorite faded jeans and a white undershirt, determined that today will be the day that I get through to Kitten. I pass Tristan on my way to the kitchen, looking forward to my first cup of coffee of the day.

  “Is that for her?” I ask, indicating the plate of scrambled eggs and toast he’s carrying.

  “Yeah, she still won’t reach for the food herself. I’ve tried leaving her alone with her meals, but she never touches it, and I usually find her crying afterward. Even with me feeding her, she’s not eating enough. A few bites here and there aren’t enough to keep her healthy.” He says, frowning at the plate like it’s the eggs fault.

  “I know.” I sigh. “Maybe it’s a good thing that Maksim is coming back with Remington today. She might end up needing more of his blood.”

  “Yeah, I don’t know man. Something tells me having him around isn’t going to be good for her.”

  I shrug a shoulder, not knowing what to say when I don’t have a clue what would be good for her.

  “Hey, guys!” Kitten chirps from the end of the hall. We both turn towards her to see her waving happily as she approaches.

  “Good morning, Kitten. Sleep well?” I ask, smiling back at her. Her smile falters momentarily, but she regains it quickly.

  “Sure.” She shrugs. “I was thinking that I’d go into work today. I can have my lessons with Finn when I get back and do yoba with Reed this evening.”

  I share a look with Tristan. This seems like a bad idea. “I don’t know, Kitten. Leaving the house might not be a good idea. You don’t have to worry about money or anything.” I trail off as her face falls. I don’t like telling her no. Luckily for me, there’s someone I know who won’t it a bit.

  “I’ll tell you what. You convince Ash it’s a good idea, and the three of us will go together, deal?”

  Kitten

  “No,” Ash grumbles before I even stop speaking.

  “But I want to,” I demand.

  “No, not happening.” He persists, throwing on his black long-sleeved t-shirt and getting ready like he’s not in the middle of a discussion.

  “Well, I’m going anyway. With or without you. I want to check in with Miss Annie and Mikey should be there today.” I turn on my heel and stomp from the room. Big, moody man is not going to tell me what I can do.

  “This is about the little boy?” Ash asks from right behind me. Apparently my angry strides are no challenge for his longer legs. Stupid tall people.

  I huff in annoyance. “Yes, sort of. I just want to go back to being me Ash. The me that went to work, the me that tried to help others, and the me that didn’t want to cry all the time.”

  “So the you, you were before you met us?” He crosses his arms, and his face darkens menacingly.

  “Yes…no. I don’t know.” I shake my head and bite my lip. I really don’t know. “I just feel like I need to get back to the real world for a moment.”

  His face softens, and he opens his arms to me for a hug. They’ve seemed to notice that I need it to be a choice. I walk into his waiting arms instantly, inhaling his distinct Ash smell gratefully. I rub my face against his chest, feeling instantly calm and protected, if only for a moment. “I’ll take you there, but you’re not working. We’ll just hang around for a while.”

  “I can live with that,” I tell him gratefully with a smile up at his gorgeous face. All hard angles and dramatic swooshes of his eyebrows. My scary man and protective shadow is beautiful in his intensity. “Kellan wants to come too,” I tell him.

  Walking into the building that holds the ice rink was surreal. It feels like I’ve been gone for years and years, not just a couple months. It took me a few moments to realize that the rink was exactly the same, it was me who did the changing. So much has happened since I last walked through those doors, and I somehow knew that this would be the last time I’d ever come here. I’m not the same girl; this isn’t my life anymore.

  “Well look what the cat done drugged in.” Miss Annie’s southern drawl and too loud voice were as welcoming as ever. She was simply one of the most interesting people I’ve ever known.

  “Hi, Miss Annie,” I tell her as she squeezes me in a tight hug.

  “Been ages since I seen yur purdy face ‘round here. And I see’s you gots yourself ‘nother one of tem fellas. Though those other one were a might purdyer ta look at and weren’t so….big.” She tells me as she studies Ash up and down.

  I giggle at her assessment and Ash’s responding tilt of his head and frowning face. “She means Logan and Jace,” I tell him. Ash rolls his eyes and nods his head. I know Ash isn’t offended by Miss Annie’s statement, he doesn’t try to be a pretty boy like Jace and Logan do.

  “So are the rec kids here today then? I figured the days stayed the same.” I ask the short and round woman who I’ve thought as a grandmother ever since I met her.

  “Those young’uns will be here shortly, they got the fundin’ they needed for a ‘nother hockey team, did ya hear?” She tells me happily.

  I look to Ash, and he nods his head slightly. I beam at him, happy tears threatening to come to my eyes. So even with all that’s gone on, Jace found the time to keep his word.

  “Mikey must be thrilled,” I say to Miss Annie.

  She purses her lips and rocks her head back and forth. “Shame what happened ta that boy. His Daddy done tore him up good this time. Put him in the hospital he did, and bless his no good heart, I hope he rot away in that cell for what he did ta that poor child.”

  “They let Mikey go back to his father? Why?” I ask no one in particular.

  “They’d sure did.” Miss Annie answers.

  “What hospital is he at?” Kellan asks firmly, not too happy about this news either.

  “He over at St. Joseph’s, last I heard. Those cute girls from the rec center had me sign a card to take to the poor thing.” She shakes her head again.

  “Thank you for telling us, Miss Annie,” I tell her, offering another hug because she looks likes she needs it now. I glance at Ash and Kellan, silently telling them I need a minute alone. They step away from us, but I’m sure they can still hear me.

  I take the older woman’s hands in my own and meet her pretty brown eyes. “Miss Annie, I probably won’t be coming back anymore, but I wanted to thank you for all you’ve done for me over the years. I don’t know if I would’ve made it without you and this place. I don’t know if I can ever express what it meant to me to come here.”

  “Awe, Sug,' no need ta go thankin’ me. I coulda done more for ya, and I shoulda, but I was afraid of runnin’ ya off, and I liked having ya ‘round here. ‘Twon’t be the same without ya, but I’m glad ta see ya findin’ a place in this here world. Those boys treatin’ ya good then?” She asks seriously.

  I smile shyly at her. “They treat me very well, Miss Annie. They’re my family and are very courteous and respectful to me. I wouldn’t be here if it weren't for them.” I tell her, glancing over my shoulder to look at the guys. At that moment, I realize that I’ve been unfair to them. They’ve given me so much, and all I do lately is pull away from them.

  “You’ll always be one of mines, far as I’m concerned. You go getting’ married ta one of dem boys, and I’ll be ‘spectin’ an invitation in the post, ya hear?” She says as she cups my cheek in her warm hand.

  “Of course, Miss Annie,” I tell her with a giggle. Do wolves even get married? Do I w
ant to marry just one of them?

  We finish our goodbyes, and each of the guys gets pulled into one of Miss Annie’s famous hugs before we exit the building and walk to the car. To all our surprise and my delight, Remy is waiting for us when we make it there. He looks annoyed, or angry, but I smile at him anyway and start to run over to him. I slow as I recognize the two men standing next to him and my smile turns into a frown.

  Maksim and Albert wear matching pleasant grins as they spot me, and Albert takes a step forward to bow in greeting. “Nice to see you again, my Princess.”

  I hold a hand up to wave at the both of them but quickly turn my attention back to Remy. “I missed you. What are you doing here?” I ask as I hug him around his waist.

  “I believe the question is, what are you doing here?” He asks, but when I look up at him, I realize his question is directed at Ash and Kellan.

  “Oh, I asked them to bring me. Demanded it really.” I quickly defend the guys.

  “Well, now I’m demanding that we return you home.” He says stiffly.

  I pull away from him and sigh deeply. “No can do, Rem. We have to go to the hospital now.”

  “What? What’s wrong now? And why the hospital, I can heal you myself.” Maksim speaks quickly, his lips pursed as he looks me over.

  “It’s not me, Mikey is there, and he got hurt really bad,” I speak to Remy instead, owing no explanation to Maksim.

  “The small child that you are fond of?” Remy asks, looking to the others for confirmation. I simply nod at him.

  “If this concerns a human child, then he is fine with the doctors. I don’t see why your presence is required.” Maksim states.

  I place my hands on my hips and stare him down. “He is my favorite human child and I want to go see him. You know…to make sure that he’s okay and to offer any assistance that I can, even if it’s just holding his hand and being there for him. Oh right, you wouldn’t know about that.” I sneer at him before heading to the car and getting in the back seat.