Keeping My Pack

by Lane Whitt

  Kitten’s eyes reveal a hint of pain, but I see no judgment there, and that gives me encouragement to continue. “I wish I could tell you that becoming a wolf made me smarter or more selective in that regard, but it only made me worse. I had led a common woman away from an event my father was holding, and into the forest that surrounded his property for some privacy. We came across the wolves and the next thing I know, I’m alone and in an immense amount of pain in the dark forest.” I close my eyes briefly and shake the memory off. It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about it.

  “Anyway, even after I learned what I had become and chose to leave home before anyone found out, I still tried to remain the person I was before. Believe it or not, I was a lot like Jace, just with less formality and arrogance.” I smile ruefully at Kitten and shake my head. Kitten doesn’t look disgusted, just curious. I take that as a sign to continue.

  “I resented being a wolf. I went from having more money than I knew what to do with, men and women alike vying for my attention, invitations to the best events in all of Europe, to being some… nameless, homeless freak. Women still found me attractive, and as time passed, I realized that I wasn’t even aging. And, while I had never allowed myself to have affections for any of my previous dalliances, it was becoming apparent that I couldn’t even if I wanted to. There were no feelings to be had from spending time in a woman’s company, no intimacy, even when I sought it out. Older women, younger women, married women or maidens, it didn’t make a difference.

  “Somewhere along the line, I grew disgusted with it all. Disgusted at myself. I continued to need a woman from time to time, as there is a physical pleasure to be had, but it was never the same. It wasn’t until after the guys found me that I learned it’s a wolf thing, and later, we all learned that the only person to change that for us, would be our mates.”

  I blow out a breath and suck in some courage to look at Kitten.

  She seems curious and a tad saddened by my confession. “I’m sorry, Logan. That sounds so lonely.” She looks sad I realize that I’m a complete idiot. Here I am, trying to bond with her, and I’m running my mouth about shit that don’t matter anymore.

  I sigh deeply, “It was, and I was stupid for acting the way I did back then. It got better once I met the guys, I had them then, people who were like me, who understood me. Jace had just been turned around the same time as me and came from a similar background as I did, and we worked through it. The point of telling you any of this is because it’s all changed now. You changed everything. I can feel you, Kitten. You make me feel. Things I’ve never felt for anyone, pre and post wolf. It’s intoxicating and exhilarating, and I’m just…happy.”

  “I’m happy too, Logan,” Kitten replies with a soft smile.

  “You’re special to me; that’s what I was really trying to say. Bond or no bond, mate or no mate, I am yours.” As sappy as it sounds, it’s true. I wonder if she’ll even let me mark her now. I should have just bit her, then told her she’s stuck with me now. Nah, that seems like an Ash thing to do.

  I feel Kitten’s body shake before I hear her soft giggling. I groan and flop myself back on the bed as I realize I must have said that last part out loud. “Are you laughing at me right now?” I question her even as I grin despite myself. I can’t help it, she looks happy, and I like her happy.

  “No!” She says adamantly. “Not at you, but that does sound like Ash.” I watch as her soft giggling turn into full blown laughter, and she falls onto the bed beside me.

  I growl playfully at her and get up to toss her further up the bed. She squeals and I pounce on her, tickling her sides until she’s breathless.

  Once I figure she’s had enough, I lay beside her again and shove a pillow under my head, relaxing as she catches her breath, cuddling into my side.

  “I’m happy you told me more about yourself. I want to know everything about you, Logan. The good and the bad. It may be your past, but it’s part of you and I…I love you. Every part of you.”

  My breath hitches and I turn my head to find she’s already looking at me. She’s biting her lip nervously like she’s said the wrong thing. Crazy girl, those were the best words she could have ever said to me.

  I roll over and throw my leg over hers. I press my lips to hers until she opens for me. I taste of her until she has trouble breathing. “I love you too, Kitten. And I always will.” Before I can say anything else to screw this up, I place my mouth over her neck and suck on her skin. My canines shift down, and I bite as gently as I can. My eyes close of their own accord as I take in her blood. It should be gross, but she simply tastes like everything I’ve always wanted.

  Kitten grips at my arm, and I let her have it. I distantly feel her press a light kiss to my wrist before I feel her teeth scrape over my pulse point. She bites down, and it’s like we’re both floating in a world of fire. Not burning, just soothing warmth cocooning us and taking us to a distant land. It feels magical, and heartbreaking and fucking hell am I turned on!

  I release Kitten’s neck to see if she’s feeling what I’m feeling. Her eyes are bright, and her face is flushed. Oh yeah, she’s feeling it. I peck at her lips and smirk down at her. To my surprise, she smirks back. Her small fingers find the skin of my neck and she trails them over the exposed skin there. Lightning follows her movements and sends shockwaves throughout my body. I do the same to her and her breath hitches.

  We lay like that for a long time. Her touching me and me touching her. As arousing as it is, I just want to revel in her touch for now. I remove my shirt and let her explore my chest before she tells me she intends to play a game. Only Kitten would feel like this and still want to play. She really is the perfect girl for me. I roll over onto my stomach as she instructs and I sigh contentedly as her hands smooth over my back. She removes all but one fingertip and starts tracing over my skin. It takes me a moment to figure out she’s spelling something. Electric love. I laugh out loud, and she giggles. Turns out I picked the perfect song after all.

  This morning is all business as Remy wakes us up for breakfast as the crack of dawn. Last night had been wonderful. After I played my game on Logan’s back and he fell asleep, I decided to take a quick shower in his bathroom. It must have woken him up because he joined me shortly thereafter. He made love to me in the shower, then pampered me with brushing my hair and blow drying it for me. Afterward, he showed me just how talented the French were with their tongues.

  “Daydreaming about me already, Crazy girl?” Logan asks hotly in my ear, nipping at my lobe.

  “No.” I lie, sure my blush is giving me away, though.

  “Sure you’re not.” He winks at me, whistling as he takes a seat across from me.

  “I was lying in bed last night, trying to figure out the easiest way to accomplish the most, in the shortest amount of time.” Remy starts. “There are some issues within the pack that require our immediate attention, so I thought we could forego the elaborate Alpha ceremony, and just do the blood exchange this morning.”

  “We do currently have the entire pack here.” Albert agrees.

  “I’m good with that.” Ash puts in.

  Remy makes sure all are in agreement before continuing. “The past two nights, the people from the camps have shifted to their wolves and piled into the ballrooms, but I’d like to find them more permanent quarters today. We can have them help with any rearranging of furniture and cleaning so that part should go quickly. The real issue will be getting enough beds and bedding here before nightfall.”

  Jace raises his hand in the air. “I can take care of that. I’ll need at least two men to come with me, though.”

  Remy nods a thanks to him. “I’ll see that you have helpers. Next issue is food. There’s no plan in place to feed the amount of people that now reside here because they simply didn’t feed everyone here before. We also don’t have enough cooks, serving sets, and cookware. This needs to be dealt with as soon as possible, any ideas?” He throws out.

  Tristan lifts the
pen he was chewing on, offering his services. “I can use my contacts in the restaurant business and have the dishes and cookware here asap. I’ll also ask around for more help in the kitchens, see if there’s an aspiring chef or two among them. At the least, we can get a rotating schedule going. As for the food itself, once we’ve got a menu, I can start placing deliveries.”

  “That brings me to our next issue. With the delivery of goods coming in, we make it easy for our enemies to gain entrance through the gates, and even into the house. There wasn’t much going on here before, but we’re talking what, a once a week type deal Tristan?” Remy looks for confirmation.

  “At the least.” He agrees.

  “I was going to check out what kind of security they were running anyway. I can set something up, even if we have to unload and reload at the gates. It’s not perfect, but it will do for now.” Ash shrugs.

  “Yes, that will do for now. Until Tristan gets regular shipments of food arriving, let’s look into purchasing our own delivery vehicles, and shopping at the bulk supply stores, so the humans won’t ask questions.” Remy suggests, gaining a nod from Ash, who will probably be the one to buy the trucks.

  “I have a question,” I speak up. Everyone looks my way, so I go ahead and ask. “What do people think this place is now? I mean, even if all the wolves didn’t live inside the house, they were still here. So that’s way too many people for one house or one family. You know, normally.”

  Albert looks up from where he’s taking notes for us. “Actually, the property is listed as a private resort. The towns are far away, and you own the entire mountain, so nobody questions how many people are coming and going. Also, a lot of the camp wolves didn’t leave the property often. They ate what they could catch and harvest.” He explains.

  “There’s something I would like to bring up as well.” Finn jumps in. “I was already going to tutor Mikey, but I’d like to educate the other children as well. My issue is with the adults. I realize that the outlying Ivaskov communities allow their members to work in society and explore different routes of education, and I’d like to offer that here as well. I know we’ll have a lot of expenses heading our way, but the better educated the pack, the more they will be giving back in the long run. Not to mention they deserve to do what they love.”

  “I agree with that statement, and will sign off on the cost for anyone who seeks higher education, but they should be contributing what they can, even if it’s just a couple hours in the kitchens a week, or babysitting the children.” Remy states.

  “I have no doubt that our members will appreciate that, and they will help out whenever possible.” A man named Yarley speaks up for the first time. He’s one of the commanders of the army Remy invited to join us.

  “Thank you for supporting the idea, but the problem lies with enrollment, logistics and everyone having the same address.” Finn points out.

  Remy sits back in his seat, thinking it over. “We could think about getting a bus system going, heading into different towns and into the city. That way more people will have access to shop on their own and do other things, like attending schools, possibly for work. Let’s find out how many people are interested before we worry about the address issue; it may not be a problem if we spread them out in the schools. We could always say they are family members of the live-in staff.”

  Finn nods in agreement, and Remy moves on. “Now that the important things are out of the way, for now, I want to talk about the soldier housing.”

  “Yes, that shit needs to go!” Logan demands.

  “I agree with you there, Logan. No matter what we put in that location, it’s going to look atrocious and become a security threat, so I was thinking I could draw up plans for a series of single-family home communities to be spread out on the property. Not only would that solve the appearance problem, but we would then have soldiers in several areas, making it nearly impossible to attack them all at once.”

  “A fine plan.” Yarley agrees, the other two commanders also looking happy about that.

  “Speaking of the soldiers,” Logan speaks up. “Those uniforms have to go. They are ugly with a capital fucking. I’ll design new ones, better ones that actually match, but in the meantime, they should burn those things.” He says adamantly.

  “Not possible.” Charlie, another commander states with a shake of his head. “Once you become a soldier in the army, gray is the only color you’re allowed to wear. It’s all they own.”

  Jace turns to Logan before he can voice his outrage. “Do you think you can get them measured and get me a list of their sizes?” He asks.

  “You know it.” Logan answers.

  “Good. Then I can take care of getting them new clothing. The former camp members will be needing it as well.” Jace replies.

  “That takes care of that then.” Remy nods in approval. “Kellan, if you could see to the health of the pack, that would be a big help. I know born wolves are immune to some illnesses, but not all of them and some of them have been in horrid conditions.”

  “I already put an order in for supplies. I’ll be starting with the children.” Kellan informs us.

  Reed raised his hand as he senses the meeting is about to be over. “I just wanted to add that while the soldiers have shelter, someone ought to look into whether or not they have everything they need out there. Heating, beds, running water and the like. There’s no telling what’s going on inside of those buildings.”

  “Good idea Reed, thanks for pointing that out.” Remy clasps him on the shoulder. “So, there are several things to be done, and I’d like to get these handled asap. Those of you without specific jobs, just jump in with one of the others. I’ll ask the rest of the pack for volunteers after the ceremony. Any questions?”

  Nobody has any, at least for now, so we finish up with our quick breakfasts of eggs and toast and head down to the biggest ballroom.

  Grandfather joins us with Mikey in tow, and he takes over leading the ceremony for us. My guys pledge to take the Ivaskov name as their own and to defend and guide the pack to the best of their abilities. In return, the rest of the pack pledges to obey and honor the Alpha family. It’s short and to the point and I have a hard time believing that the larger ceremony Albert spoke to me about would have taken over two hours. At the end of it though, there was a blood sharing custom where each of my guys provided a drop of blood to every pack member, excluding me, as a symbol of their willingness to bleed for the pack. Each person then gave them a drop of blood back as a symbol of their willingness to bleed for the Alpha family and their children, which also allowed the guys to recognize them on a magical level that only Alpha’s ever obtained. I didn’t understand that part of it, but I guess I didn’t have to.

  That was supposed to be it, but before announced the ending of the ceremony, Remy gave a speech stating that their mate, me, will be given the same respect as them and that they would be ruling by side, not in front of or behind me. They are so sweet to me. It was all over after that. They were supposed to be crowned, but no one wanted uncle’s tainted crown, and there are eight of them anyway. Ash told me yesterday that he didn’t even want one, but when Logan begged him to make them, he reluctantly agreed and said he’d get around to it eventually.

  With our volunteers in tow, we quickly got to work. I had started out with Logan, who was measuring people to get their clothes sizes. It went alright with the kids, but when it was time for the men, it became apparent that me helping wouldn’t work. The men were afraid to get too close to me, and I simply didn’t want to touch them, which made it more than a little difficult to get the measuring tape near them. Instead, Logan taught his helpers how to get the right sizes, and I took over making the list.

  I was surprised to learn that we all have the same last name. I mean, I know the guys took my name, but I had thought that was because there are eight of them and one of me, and I couldn’t possibly take eight last names. But nope, everyone took the Ivaskov name when they joined the pack or were
born, according to Ray, who was a size medium. He said that was why our scents were so important. You could tell who a child belonged to or who a female was mated to by the scent they carried. I’m still figuring out the whole smelling thing and what each smells means to my wolf, so I have no idea if that’s true or not.

  Eventually, my hand started to hurt from all of the writing, so I handed over the list to Ray, and he took over that job. With a quick kiss to a busy Logan, I sought out another of my mates and came across Finn, who had set up a sort of office for himself. There was a line of people outside of his office, waiting to speak with him about job opportunities or school enrollment. When I went in to see if I could help, I saw that he was talking to each person one on one and trying to find the right classes at the nearest schools. Most of what he was doing was taking place on the computer, so I doubted I could help with much of that. Finn took the time to walk me back out the door though, and gave me a kiss, telling me Jace could probably use my help.

  I walked around for a while, trying to figure out where my golden boy might be, but I couldn’t find him. Eventually, I remembered my cell phone and had to call him.

  That’s how I came to be out here, looking through the trailers and apartments with Jace. We only looked through a few after getting the permission of the residents first. They had running water and heat, but the apartments were only single rooms with a toilet and a sink. There wasn’t much to them, just blankets to sleep with and personal items. Other than heating and a toilet, these guys didn’t have it much better than the people in the camps. The trailers were a little better, with actual furniture and bedrooms and a small kitchen area, though everything was old and rundown.

  “I don’t understand why no one has replaced anything. It seems as though everything in these trailers was bought around the same time.” I confide to Jace.