"I do have to tell you something though. I don’t know why I feel I have to tell you, but there are no more secrets between us now. We are both running for our lives with the same enemy and if we are always together, we both have the same amount of time left unless we get this guy soon. I just feel like it’s important especially since you asked about my sexuality to tell you. I have always been attracted to women. I remember the first feelings I had for one of my teachers when I was in grade school. I was too young to know what that feeling was, but I learned and understood what it was some years later. When I went to linguistic school in Monterey at the Defense Linguistic Institute, there were a few women that I wanted and wanted to be with but I was afraid. Being with a woman takes a certain type of confidence in a man, confidence I never had. The women in class only liked me because of my grades and because I helped them with theirs but belittled me behind my back because of my impediment. Sometimes the women in my life were as cruel as the men but for different reasons. You are the only one that actually treated me like an equal from the very beginning of our assignment, but I longed for you well before we ever worked together. I used to walk by your desk to smell the fragrance of the day or to see what you would be wearing, but you probably didn’t know I was alive at the time. I guess that was okay with me because that was better than you knowing I was alive and still completely ignoring me or making fun of me. As a grown ass man I know this sounds more like a teenage confession, but not much has changed for me since my teenage days. I’ve always been curious about the warmth of a woman, but I have never gotten that chance," Mason said embarrassed again with his eyes closed.
"So you mean to tell me you have never been with a woman before? Is that what you are saying to me?" Orinda asked. She was relieved because his initial reaction brought fear to her mind that maybe he had a past similar to Stockton’s. No man had been ever able to turn her down before, ever. Mason shook his head yes to her question and then took another drag from his cigarette. Another confession made to Orinda.
If this investigation did anything for them, it allowed her to understand him more than ever before. She asked the right questions needed to chip away at the case, but also she asked the right questions to help Mason reveal more about Mason. This allowed him to finally remove the weight, the stigma that came with his anxieties. The secrets he could tell no one else because they would either not listen or they would not care. She had helped him in more ways than one.
"I think I’m beginning to understand you more and more Mason. I’m sorry all of that stuff happened to you. Sometimes we women think we know what we want, but we don’t know what it means to have what we need. You’re a great guy. You’re very smart and you’re a great journalist, an amazing story teller but it seems that those traits are only made available to someone you allow to get close to you. Your shyness is what’s more obvious about your personality. That’s not a bad thing though, Papi. It’s a good thing. You have personality! Some guys, like a lot women, have none and depend on their physicality to mask what their lack in; let’s call it ‘a cerebral balance.’ You don’t have that problem and I mean look at you. You are in great shape with your chiseled face and your brown skin. That makes you a treat to look at and from what I felt last night, you have more than enough to make and keep a woman happy if you know what I mean. You have a complete package," she said as she tried to make him feel better.
But she knew he was right, it does take a certain confidence to be with a woman. If a man lacked confidence, there was nothing that would make a woman stay with him regardless of smarts and physical ability. She didn’t want to remind him that he wasn’t confident because that would defeat him. She wanted to build him up and remind him of how much he brought to the table in hopes that would allow him to be more confident in his abilities. Not every man with confidence had the same ability that he did, so she felt it was her job to remind of him of that.
"You really think all of that about me?" Mason asked her. He had never in his life had a woman tell him anything of the sort. When Orinda confirmed, whatever spark he needed for confidence was ignited. He didn’t think about his mouth that tasted of liquor and cigarettes, he acted on the impulse he felt. He didn’t wait for a moment of truth or acceptance because that would leave Orinda with the opportunity to decline his advance. He responded to her with action. He turned to her with his eyes already closed and found the side of her face to guide him. He tilted her head back with one strong move of his hand and conquered what he wanted from her. He kissed her the way he wanted to and in the reality of it all, it was better than any fantasy he ever envisioned. It was better than anything ever felt in his life but what felt even better was that Orinda let it happen. She didn’t react in a way that would embarrass him nor did she want to contradict her own advice about a woman’s attraction to confidence. She couldn’t because she was just as aroused as she was last night. Not because she wanted to seduce answers out of him but because she enjoyed the strength of his toughness and the passion of his aggression. She even enjoyed the Slivovica’s foul taste of plum combined with cigarette smoke. She wanted to fuck him right there, but she had to resist her urges.
When he finally pulled back from her, he gazed at her but said nothing. She was paralyzed by ecstasy with her head still tilted in hopes that he wasn’t done because she wanted more. So did he but this time he kissed her gently. He kissed her the way she didn’t know she wanted. She received them both equally. She had always been a slave to her urges, to cradle between her legs the girth and length of a man and this was no different. She wanted him and he needed her.
They were far removed from the colleagues they were just days earlier because the heat of passion made them a different kind of pair. This relieved Mason’s anxiety until Orinda revealed her own secret that sent him down for a head spinning spiral.
"I slept with him," Orinda revealed as Mason pulled back in a state of bliss turned disbelief. "I slept with him a few years back, and I thought I should tell you this now that we are here," she said.
Mason could not disguise the anguish and neither the confusion. One moment he was in charge of the world and indulging the sweetness of her kisses. He finally had the nerve and enough liquor to aid him, and the first words she said afterward was that she slept with someone else. Not the response any man who needed confidence in himself and his abilities wanted to hear.
"What are you talking about? You slept with Chandler?" Mason asked.
"God, NO! Not Vernon Chandler. I slept with State Officer Highland of the New Jersey State Police. It was a few times while in school and some time ago after college as well. We kept in touch over the years. When this case came about, I had no idea I was going to be sitting here with you with the feelings I have. Mason, I’m sorry. Initially I only thought you and I would be colleagues with a common goal, but this case has changed a lot of things for me. It has changed a lot of things for us. Please don’t be upset," Orinda pleaded.
There was a long pause followed by more silence. What was he supposed to say? The news was new to him, and the story that came with it was all past tense, but it couldn’t have come at a worst time because the confidence she wanted him to have in order to get what he wanted escaped, completely syphoned from the car’s cabin. He knew if he showed his emotions, she would feel like her past criminalized her future, but if he didn’t react, he wouldn’t be true to himself.
In fact if he didn’t react, he wouldn’t be true to her. So he sat. No words were said. He just sat there now with his eyes in a gaze out the passenger window. She waited for something. Though she told him a woman wants a self-assured, confident man, she needed a reaction from him to assure her that he did care.
"Will you say something to me please? You can’t just sit in silence like that. Do you realize how hard that was for me to say to you? I mean look at us here. We’re together. I just didn’t want to go any further into whatever this is without being completely honest with you. I like you a lot and for the first time, I think there
is a man who actually likes me for Orinda and not for my body or because he wants to fuck my brains out. You do something around me I have never had before. You open up to me, you protect me and you make me feel safe. Even with death lurking, I feel safer with you because I know you will never hurt me. I just needed to get my secrets off my chest, too. Does that make your feelings for me change?" she asked.
"No, my feelings for you haven’t changed, but it does remind me that I’m not where I should be as a man. How am I supposed to be with you and please you and keep you happy when I have no idea what I’m doing? You have better options than to be with me. Once you see that I’m not what they were, you will leave me and then I will be back to where I was before you and I became we," Mason said not sure if he made sense to her but it made sense to him. How was he to compete with her experience?
"Don’t think about it like that. I’m not with those guys for a reason. I don’t want to talk about every experience, but I will speak on this one because we are in Trenton, and we are on our way to sit and speak with him to get help. I wouldn’t feel right knowing I had a physical relationship with him and not tell you about it while all three of us are together," she said but Mason still thought about the others though he had never seen them.
He thought about Detective Griffin and his advancements towards her. He even thought about last night and how she had cupped him in her hands. This was before he revealed how he felt for her. She made no attempt to be discreet because she enjoyed how a man made her body feel, so he couldn’t be that upset with her. He was disappointed that she reminded him of her promiscuity and her sexual prowess with another men that was not him. Another man who had more experience pleasing her, experience he didn’t have. Another confident man that wasn’t him.
"I’m glad you told me even though I kind of wish you didn’t. I may not be where I should be in confidence, but I do have the pride of ego. That’s what made me stand up for you with Griffin. My feelings for you make me proud of the woman that you are regardless of your past. In turn that makes me proud to be with you. If I’m going to be with you in a room with another man you have slept with, how am I supposed to know you didn’t make him feel the same way?" Mason asked. She understood his point, and she didn’t mind reassuring him.
"Papi, look at me. No one has ever made me feel the way you do when I’m around you. I want you to understand that. If we didn’t need to talk to Highland regarding this case, I can assure you that he and I would never talk again regardless if this works out between us or not. He never ever made me feel as special as you do. You allowed me into your home when it wasn’t safe for me travel to mine. You cooked dinner for me and allowed me to see you in your most vulnerable state. You showed me your scars the world hasn’t had the privilege to see and you also gave me the stories of their origins. That made me want you more," Orinda confessed. The reason she told the truth is that she knew Mason was making every attempt to be that confident person she wanted.
"Then why are we going to see him? Is it because of his superb investigation skills, or is it because you want to ensure that we have law enforcement protection?" Mason asked. The question was a valid one. At first she opened communication with Highland because she was lacking the feeling a man brought to her, but he was also her ally, providing the inside track and permission to access all notable newsworthy stories in the entire Garden State. But…that was before. She had no idea when Chandler paired them together, Mason would surpass whatever feeling Highland ever gave her.
The sole purpose of the trip now was to be able to have another pair of eyes to analyze all of the details in order to determine the next move to catch the killer and to solicit protection. Protection from a killer who was potentially trying to come out to the world with another secret of his own.
"I want him to help us with this case, Mason. That’s it and there is nothing more, but if you don’t feel comfortable after what I revealed, then I understand. If that’s the case, then you tell me the word, and we will not step foot into his office. We are close to solving this. I feel it, but it means nothing to me. If you’re uncomfortable with the methods of doing so, then we won’t. We will do it ourselves. Just know that I can’t help protect us. I’ve never fired a weapon before nor have I ever had the desire to."
"Well, that’s you and I respect that, but I have. I served in the United States Marine Corps not just as a linguist but as a marksman with a rifle and small arms. I can definitely pick a target and shoot. I was trained by the some of the best in the world. If protection is all we need while we figure out who this fucker is, then I would rather do it than trust a man who I never met but knows more about my woman than I do."
His ability to take charge turned her on even more. If she had any doubts about if he was willing to give his life in order to protect hers before, those doubts went out the window like the smoke from his cigarettes.
Suddenly, there was a ring of Orinda’s cell phone. It was inside of her purse which was sitting on the passenger side floor. Both reached down to pick up the purse at the same time almost butting heads. She was able to finger through and found her phone. There was no number listed on the caller ID, and it only noted the call as private. Who in their right minds in this day and age calls from a blocked number and expects to receive an answer she thought to herself, but she decided to answer anyway.
The voice on the on the other end was one of surprise, but after the awkward salutation it made them both cautious about their surroundings. Being a marksman with a weapon only allowed you the ability to hit a target you can see straight on, but if you don’t have someone to have your back and watch the perimeters, you’re good as dead.
"Love birds, how long are you guys going to sit in the parking lot making out like teenagers? Don’t you know your lives are on the line?" said the familiar voice on the phone. Afterwards there was a flash from a pair of headlights reflecting in the rearview mirror. She knew who it was but had no idea this person was watching, following them once they left Pennsauken back to Philly, back past Trenton into the Ewing Township. It was Detective Griffin.
"You two must have a death wish because you didn’t listen to anything I said. Tips to save your life will do just that if you listen to them," Detective Griffin said.
"Detective, how long have you been watching us?" Orinda asked. She put her ear closer to the phone as if it would help her hear him clearer. Mason tried to get closer to hear as well before she finally put Griffin on speaker.
"I’ve been watching for as long as you were in the car. Obviously I didn’t want to blow my cover and follow you inside of your office building, but I’ve definitely been watching while you made out in a grocery store parking lot. You’re just lucky it’s me and not someone else if you know what I mean. Now what are you two doing way up here? You live in Delaware and Mason in Philly?" Griffin asked.
Orinda didn’t want to tell him about her wanting to consult with another law enforcement officer, but what could she say?
"We came here to...to," she said but couldn’t say another word. Thankfully Griffin stopped her before she uttered a lie.
"It doesn’t matter. I gave you specific instructions to ensure your safety and being in Ewing or Trenton was not one of them. I need you to follow all of my instructions in order to save your lives and the first is keep your covered grounds small. The chances of your being harmed are greater the longer you stay away from home. Haven’t you heard about the other Marines killed? They weren’t found in their homes. They were all in remote places," Griffin said. He had a point and the point was taken.
"Let’s head back to Philadelphia and Mason’s place. I want to go over some things. I gave you my word that I will protect you, but you have to let me," Griffin said and then the line went dead.
There was another flash of the headlights from the unmarked car to the rear of them emphatically signaling. Griffin was ready to go. It was a good thing they didn’t stop in Trenton to see Highland because Griffin was tailing the entir
e time. It would have been hard to explain.
As they made their way back to Philly, Mason felt another relief. They were still victims of being targeted, but he would rather that than to sit with a man who indulged in Orinda’s sweetness to seek his help. Mason owed Detective Griffin more than he could give, but his pride knew the price.
Chapter 15
"What do you mean you’re close to finding out who’s behind the killings? I don’t understand and for Christ’s sake, will you PLEASE stop peeking out the window. I have more than one pair of eyes watching this place," Detective Griffin said to Mason as he paced from the middle of the room to the window and then back. This was the first time he had been back home since receiving the letter and after opening the envelope he tried to avoid.
In a sense, he still wished he hadn’t opened it. The words written in a riddle for him to establish who wanted to kill him made the matter worse because it took their collective minds off the matter at hand. Did it matter as much who was trying to kill them as much as it did that they prevent it?
Mason and Orinda settled their issue of recruiting one of her ex-acquaintances, a man she used to fuck, to help them with case on the way back to Penn Landings, this time with a noticeable Detective Griffin tailing no more than two car lengths behind them.
Back in Mason’s home, both gave Detective Griffin a status update on where they were with their portion of the investigation. When it was mentioned to Griffin the envelope had a letter that mirrored the one found with Stockton’s body, it seemed to damage him. How on earth did he not ask them to open the envelope?
What did it matter anyway? They already knew Mason was a target, and the new letter didn’t say anything different. It only meant that the perpetrator was watching them and was close. It also meant Orinda was as much a target as Mason was, but the commitment they made together to each other meant they wouldn’t have it any other way.
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