I don’t know why you didn’t tell me you were pregnant. I’m not sure what you intended. I just know I can’t handle losing a second child. It’s simply too devastating.
I’m leaving London today. Fausch has sent two other NCA agents to guard the Dresdens until they’re fit to leave New York.
Please don’t look for me once you return to London.
Cole
Chapter 36
Columbus General Hospital
Saturday, 28 April
Dragging the IV stand with her, Bex staggered into the hospital chapel, hoping to find solace.
She closed the heavy door firmly on sounds of patient gurneys and wheelchairs rattling past and the fretful babble of doctors and nurses doing ward rounds. Inside it was dim, awash with light from a stained glass window. A brighter light highlighted a stylized cross on the facing wall. Several banks of comfortable chairs were arrayed in front of a wooden pulpit. Half a dozen chairs, arranged as though for a group discussion, clustered near the stained glass alcove, which on closer inspection was backlit by LED lights to give the impression of daylight.
The space was empty. Just like the hollowed space inside her own body, she thought. How was it possible to have been so attached to someone she had never met who had been smaller than a peanut?
Grimacing, she moved forward a few steps, her IV bag swinging on the pole behind her. Gripping the back of another chair she lowered herself onto the seat in front. The movement sent a jolt of pain through her torso and broken arm and she gritted her teeth to ride it out. Instead the tears came, flowing hot and fast down her cheeks. There was so much to cry for.
Zane’s unnecessary death. Her lost baby. The end of the fledgling relationship between her and Cole. She felt the losses as one devastation after another. Her heart was so lonely, she could almost feel it shriveling within her chest.
She bowed her head while the healing tears continued to slide down her cheeks and drip onto fingers holding Cole’s note. The ink blurred with the wetness and she crushed the paper into a ball.
She had no idea how long she sat before she heard the soft swish of the door opening. Keeping her head averted, she hoped whoever had come in would be on a journey of their own, happy to ignore her presence. Her body tensed, listening to quiet footsteps as worn soles traveled down the aisle, stopping just behind her chair.
“A nurse told me she’d seen you come in here. I’m sorry if I’m disturbing you. Do you want me to go?”
Bex started at the sound of Kristian’s voice. Quickly she wiped at her eyes and blew her running nose.
“Kristian? What are you doing here? I thought Neil said the hospital released you yesterday.”
“They did. Neil asked me to drive him here to see you. We’ve been sitting in the cafeteria talking to your father. He told us all the developments about…about my father.” He had difficulty spitting out the phrase. “I mean how he came to die. And he also told me you’re going to appeal the judge’s decision to get back the money he awarded to Karen.”
Fresh tears spurted from the corners of her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Kristian. If you hadn’t come to New York your mother might still be alive.”
“Yeah, the money she would’ve got from his death wouldn’t have done her any good. Karen was my mom, but I didn’t have any illusions about her. Once we hit New York, she started spending up big time on drugs in anticipation of the windfall. Her lawyer told me she’d already dug into my trust fund. I told Neil if the appeal doesn’t go your way, I don’t want the money.”
“That’s very generous of you.”
He scowled at her as though the compliment pained him. “Mom had a right to his money, but I don’t want it. Hell, I never even knew the man! I told Neil I don’t want it, but he said I should come and tell you myself.”
His words were rapid and erratic and he was breathing as heavily as if he’d run a marathon. It was obvious that coming to see her had taken every ounce of his resolution. Bex gave him a practiced glance. She had dealt with way too many kids who had no one to lean on growing up, so they learned to count on themselves. It showed her that Kristian had a conscience and a heavy-duty sense of responsibility, no doubt born of living with a dysfunctional parent who needed more care than he received in return. Kids like Kristian either developed trust issues or never stopped looking for validation. She pegged Kristian in the former category.
He stood with his legs spaced apart, his hands bunched into the pockets of his windcheater, his body trembling as though static electricity was running through it. “I thought you could use the money to continue running the halfway house.”
At his words, the lump in her throat grew so large she could barely swallow over it to speak.
“Thank you, Kristian, I will, as long as you keep the trust fund for your future. Your father wanted you to have that.” She cleared her throat. “I’m happy to answer questions if you ever want to know anything about Zane.”
He jerked his head in acknowledgement. His lean, rangy frame reminded her of some photos she had of Zane in his early twenties. Despite his eyes being the mirror image of Zane’s, the rest of his face was a blend of features from both parents. If Karen had stayed in New York, Bex would have taken the role of Kristian’s step-mother because Zane would have wanted her to be part of his son’s life.
“He loved your mom once, so if you want to bury her near him…”
“Nah! I already told Neil, she wouldn’t want to be in the ground. I’m going to scatter her ashes so she’s free to keep roaming.” He paused, his feet shuffling. He gave her a shrewd look. “You really loved my father, didn’t you? I mean, that’s why you married him, not just for his money?”
“Money?” Bex frowned. “Your dad worked for the police force. That’s not a career known to make you rich. I’d trade all the money from his life insurance just to have him back for one day so he could see you grown into a fine young man.”
Kristian scuffed his shoe against a chair leg. Bex could see both pleasure and pain pumping through him in the ebb and flow of color in his face.
“How do you think you’ll get on with Neil?”
He gave a half shrug. “Okay I guess. He’s dope for an old guy. At least staying with him won’t suck as much as state care.”
Bex realized that in Kristian’s mind he had traded one parent to be looked after for another. As great as Neil was, his age would make it difficult for him to care fully for the teen. Bex’s heart constricted at Kristian’s philosophical attitude about the price he had to pay to stay out of the system and still have a place to call home. What would happen to him if Neil died before Kristian became an adult?
On impulse, she blurted, “Kristian, I know we’re almost strangers, but I’d like to get to know you better. If your mom had stayed in New York we would’ve gotten to know each other through your father.”
The red flush betrayed his confusion. “Why would you want to do that?”
“Because I think you’re a pretty cool customer. You kept a level head when it counted.”
The flush deepened at her praise. “Nah, you were the one who held your shit together.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. You were willing to sacrifice yourself to save everyone else in the hospital. Let’s just say, we all ran that show together.”
A knot appeared in his jaw as he raised his eyes to hers. “Would you take me to my father’s grave one day?”
His words broke her heart.
“Yes of course. Maybe you could help Neil and me plant the Zane Wynter rose seeds I brought back with me?”
He gave a choked laugh. It was obvious her words had startled him. “There’s a rose named after him?”
“There is now. Roses are hardy and live a long time. It’s a good way to remember your dad with something living, don’t you think?”
The tension faded from his eyes, replaced by a yearning look. “Neil will like that.” Then his brow creased. “I thought he said you lived in Engl
and.”
“I do. But right now, I’m here in New York.”
When she stood up they were eye to eye, but she thought he still had some growing to do. Despite losing Cole’s baby, despite never having conceived with Zane, she knew she craved a family bond with Kristian. And in the process she would keep a big part of Zane alive in her life.
“Can you help me back to my room?”
She let Cole’s note tumble to the floor. When Kristian bent to pick it up for her, she stopped him.
“It’s not important,” she said.
She slung her good arm around his shoulders while he gripped her IV pole. Together they supported each other as they shuffled out of the chapel.
THE END
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Want more from Elleby Harper?
Detective Bex Wynter Files
Driven to Death
She came to London to escape a painful past, but her first case opens old wounds and could end her career.
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Driven to Death is a thriller with an ending that will have you gasping. If you like realistic police procedurals, intriguing characters, and emotional plot twists that leave you breathless, then you’ll love Elleby Harper’s suspenseful crime novel!
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Courting Death is British crime with an American twist! This is the third book to feature American Bex Wynter at the London Met with the Youth Crimes Team. While each book in the series can be read as a stand alone, the story will be enhanced if read in sequence. That way the development of relationships between the characters can be understood and better appreciated.
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Death for Sale
Are some crimes beyond forgiveness?
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London 1888. Miss Virginia Grimm is used to dead bodies. As an apprentice undertaker, they serve as her bread and butter. But when she prepares the murdered Earl of Elderbury for burial, she discovers his rampaging ghost threatens not only her own ambitions but all of London’s safety.
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Bex Wynter Box Set 2 Page 59