by K. M. Scott
I had to know he wasn’t the Tristan I’d seen that night at Top, and I had to tell him about Gage.
Tracing my fingertip over the tattoo above his heart, I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. Forcing a smile onto my lips, I sat up and began. “Tristan, I want us to be completely honest with one another. I need to know a few things and have some things to tell you. It’s important to me that this time we’re truthful with everything.”
He knitted his brows as he always did when he was concerned and turned to face me. “Things to tell me? Like what?”
“I’d rather begin with what I need to know from you. Like, for example, I need to know that whatever was going on with you at Top that night I found you there isn’t going to be a part of our life together. I can handle a lot of things, Tristan, but being in love with a cokehead isn’t one of them. I need to know that isn’t going to be part of us from now on.”
His expression softened, but his eyes filled with pain. “I’m sorry about that, Nina. That’s not who I am or want to be. Coke was a way for me to lose myself for a long time. I’m not going to lie. I got lost in that again when I was away from you, but I made a choice to not be that person.”
“Okay. Now I need you to promise me you’ll tell me the truth, no matter how awful it is. I know you like to handle things on your own and think you have to protect me, but we won’t work if you lie to me.”
Shaking his head, he grimaced. “I can’t promise all of that. I love you, Nina, and to me that means I’m supposed to protect you. The world you’re in now is full of people who would think nothing about hurting someone to get ahead. I’m going to shield you from that as much as I can, but if I can’t, then I’ll protect you from it, and that might mean not telling you everything.”
His insistence on protecting me like I was some unknowing child filled me with frustration. I just didn’t know if I could be that kind of girlfriend and someday, wife. Sighing, I shook my head. “Why do you think I always need protecting? I’m not a little girl, Tristan. I’m a grown woman who knows the man I love. Do you think I don’t understand people at your level?”
“It’s not like that and you know it. This has nothing to do with social class. It has to do with me protecting the woman I love, Nina. Why is that so bad?”
“Because it gives you carte blanche to lie to me! We just spent all those months apart and now you’re telling me you can’t promise you won’t continue to lie. How can we be together like that?”
He sat up and leaned against the headboard, pushing the hair out of his eyes. “Nina, I can’t change who I am in this. I’m not the bad guy because I won’t dump all the shit in my world on you. Most women want a man to protect them.”
“From bad guys and people wanting to kill them. Not from everything else. I just want you to say to me that you’ll treat me like a full partner in this relationship and not some second class citizen who’s forced to react when you make decisions and I have to deal with them.”
“This is about me leaving you alone for months.”
My mouth fell open. “Of course it’s about that! You left me here, all alone, and never once answered any of my messages. All those times when I was missing you so much all I wanted to do was curl up in bed with one of your shirts, I texted you and waited for you to answer but you never did.”
“I couldn’t answer, Nina. I was trying to protect you.”
“Again with the protecting me! Would it have been any less protection for me if I was with you, wherever you were, so you could keep me safe and not break my heart?”
I tried to stop the tears from coming, but it was no use. After the sweetness of our reunion the night before, the reality of how much he’d hurt me was right there in front of us in the harsh light of day. I couldn’t go on with Tristan if our life together was going to be like this.
He took my hand and squeezed it gently. “I know I keep making these mistakes. That you’ve stayed with me this long still amazes me. I hate that what I do makes you sad. I just don’t know any other way to be.”
Wiping the tears away, I looked at him sitting there, his beautiful eyes so full of sadness. There had to be some way to make him see what I meant. “I love that you want to protect me. If there’s ever a time that someone’s trying to mug me or kidnap me, I want you to jump in and rescue me. But you’re not keeping me safe when you leave me in the dark. I sat in that house surrounded by people and barely alive because I missed you so much. You left me and I didn’t know why. Was it me? I didn’t know. It doesn’t matter if I have bodyguards if you’re the one who keeps hurting me by breaking my heart.”
“I’m sorry. I never meant to do that. I did what I thought would keep you safe, but now I see that I’m the one who was hurting you the most. I’m sorry, Nina.”
He looked away, but I gently tugged his face back toward me. “I just need you to promise you’ll protect me from the bad guys but still tell me about things. I want to be your wife, not some childish girl you keep around.”
Closing his eyes, he said quietly, “I promise. No more keeping things from you.” He opened them and stared into mine with a gaze so direct I feared what he might say next. “I lied and hid things out of fear that if you knew about them, you’d never stay with me. I just want you to know that I come with a lot of fucked up shit. I didn’t know if you’d want to be my wife knowing all of it.”
I cradled his face and pressed my forehead to his. “I know what you are, Tristan Stone. No matter what bad things you think you have inside you, I know the man you are is good and kind. I love you, and that means all of you. The good, the bad, and the ugly.”
He nodded and for the first time in our conversation, smiled. “I love you. I always have, Nina. From that first night we drove up the Taconic, you’ve been the one person I knew I couldn’t deal with losing.”
“You’re not going to lose me, Tristan. I promise.”
He leaned back away from me, and I saw the icy veil he wore so often descend over his features. “So what things do you have to tell me?”
“What’s that face for?” I teased, nervous about what I had to tell him.
“I’m just wondering what else you have to say.”
He wasn’t stupid. He knew I had something to confess in addition to everything else we’d already talked about. It was probably written all over my face. Swallowing hard, I said, “Just one more thing. About that kiss with Gage…”
“What about it?” he asked flatly, his eyes boring holes in me with their accusatory stare.
“Don’t look at me like that. You’re the one who made me do it.”
“I really don’t want to talk about that, Nina. The idea of another man kissing you isn’t something I ever want to think about again.”
“Fine. I can certainly understand. I don’t like thinking about you kissing that cheap waitress at Top that night either.”
I was messing this up big time. Instead of simply telling him I’d kissed Gage and it meant nothing, I’d ventured into the jealous waters of “you did this and I did that.” Never a good place to stumble into.
Tristan simply continued to stare at me as he waited for me to continue, very wisely saying nothing about the Brandi kiss. “I just want to clear the air so we never have to talk about this again. You kissed her, which bothers me, and I kissed him, which obviously upsets you.”
“Then we never have to speak of it again. It was only once, and I didn’t even kiss her back. Gage was only once, and it was just acting, so that’s that.”
I nervously bit my bottom lip and struggled to work up the courage to tell the man I loved that I’d kissed another man and it had nothing to do with acting. “It happened another time. Neither one of us meant it. I was upset about you finally texting me back only to tell me to kiss him. It meant nothing, but I don’t want this to be between us.”
When all the words had finally left my mouth, I held my breath and waited for their meaning to sink in. Tristan said nothing, but stared straight a
head, his face emotionless. I knew he’d heard me, but his lack of response confused me.
Finally, after what seemed like hours of waiting for him to say anything, he turned toward me and took a deep breath. Letting it out slowly, he shook his head. “I know I put you in that position and I know I have no right to be angry, but I am. I can’t stand the idea of you with him. I need to know just one thing. Did you sleep with him?”
“No. I swear, Tristan. It was one kiss. That’s it.”
“Then I don’t want to hear about it again.”
Never before in my life had any words sounded so final. His expression hardened for just a moment, as if he were working it out in his mind, and then he was back to being that same man I’d fallen in love with.
So ready to move on, I asked, “So, what should we do today?”
Tristan brought my hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it. “I think it’s time for my resurrection, don’t you?”
***
I followed him through the front door of the house, noticing he stopped for just a moment to look around the enormous entryway. Quickly, I headed to our room to change into some fresh clothes. Tristan changed into his usual suit and tie and waited for me. When I was ready, he grasped my hand, clutching it as if for support, and guided me to his office where Daryl, Jensen, West, and Varo sat waiting for us. Tristan took his place behind his desk, and I stood beside him as each of the men in front of us waited for him to begin. Pulling me close so I sat on the arm of his chair, he rested his hand across the top of my thigh. “Surprised to see me, gentlemen?”
I scanned each of their faces, and except for Daryl, all of them looked stunned to see Tristan sitting there before them. Daryl must not have let them in on the secret.
“We didn’t realize you were back,” Varo said quietly.
Smiling, Tristan directed his attention to the man I’d explained less than an hour earlier was the one I’d kissed. “Well, I am back, so you can go back to being merely the bodyguard. Thanks for your service, though. I’m sure Nina appreciates your diligence.”
And with that, I knew Tristan wasn’t quite as comfortable with my confession as I’d hoped. Varo understood his meaning instantly, if the look of shock all over his face was any indication. I felt bad about that. He’d been a good guy about everything. He hadn’t even been the one who did the kissing. It had been all my fault. I gave him a weak smile, hoping it made up for Tristan’s sharp words.
“And West, I’m concerned with how you guard Nina. I’ve told both of you I want you to stay in the background.”
West looked to Varo on his left and then back at Tristan. “We always are. If she hadn’t been told that we were guarding her, she still wouldn’t know.”
“Really? I watched you and your giant form spy on me behind trees half your size one afternoon recently. Didn’t realize I was Ethan, the gardener, did you? If that’s any indication of how you stay out of sight, I’m not impressed.”
West grimaced as if in pain as Tristan dressed him down. I considered coming to his defense since I’d never noticed either him or Varo around me any time I went out, but the sharpness of the rebuke told me to not get involved. Tristan continued to explain how clumsy West had been one day as he’d attempted to spy on the new gardener, delineating each problem he’d seen as the bodyguard’s embarrassment and anger simmered.
“From now on, gentlemen, you are to be neither seen nor heard as you guard the most important person in my world. Am I clear?”
Both Varo and West nodded their understanding of Tristan’s decree and quickly rose to leave when he waved his hand to signal they were dismissed. As they reached the door, he snapped, “And make sure the hole in the fence at the back of the property is fixed. You’re supposed to be our security here.”
Leaning down near his ear, I whispered, “Was it necessary to be like that with them? They’re supposed to want to save me, if I ever need it. I’m not sure after that little pep talk they’d want to get me drink of water if I was in the middle of the desert.”
Turning his face toward me, he smiled. “Don’t worry. They just hate me right now. They’ll get over it.”
I leaned away from him and studied this new Tristan. “Are you always like this with the people who work for you, Mr. Stone?”
Arching one dark eyebrow, he grinned. “Only with the ones who don’t understand my orders and those who’ve kissed my fiancée without my permission, Ms. Edwards.”
“Tristan…”
He angled his head toward Daryl and whispered, “Nina, we still need to talk to Daryl and Jensen.”
“Then we’ll discuss the whole situation with West and Varo later?”
“We can discuss my issue with West later, princess. Right now, we have two people waiting.”
Usually when Tristan called me that nickname, I took it as a term of affection, but now the edge in his tone said princess was just his way of expressing his jealousy over Varo. Getting the hint, I looked over at Daryl and pasted a smile on my face.
Grinning back at me, he asked, “So how are the happy couple doing today?”
Directing his attention to the driver, Tristan softened his voice from how it had sounded with my bodyguards and smiled. “Jensen, as always, I’m nothing but pleased with your service. I want to thank you for handling your job admirably, especially with what I’m sure was a stressful drive from the groundbreaking yesterday. I’ll be heading into the city soon, so I’ll let you know when I’m ready.”
Nodding his head, Jensen smiled meekly. “If I may say so, it’s nice to have you back, Mr. Stone.”
For the first time since he sat down, Tristan’s smile was genuine as he listened to Jensen. “It’s good to be back. Thank you.”
The driver was dismissed with another thank you, and we were left alone with Daryl, who seemed to be practically bubbling over with eagerness that morning. I hoped he had some information to help us figure out what the hell was going on and how we could stop Karl.
“Let’s get down to business. What have you found out about Cardiell?” Tristan asked, immediately confusing me.
“What’s Cardiell?”
Tristan looked up at me and smiled another genuine smile. “I forgot you haven’t been with us with all this.” Turning to face Daryl, he said, “For Nina’s sake, give us the Cliff Notes version of Cordovex and Cardiell.”
“Got it. Cordovex was a heart drug approved by the FDA a few years ago, and it seems that it wasn’t as good at keeping heart patients healthy as it was at killing them. Eventually, Cordovex was pulled from the market, but the company which produced it, Rider Pharmaceutical, still held the patent to it. Fast forward to earlier this year and now Rider has a drug named Cardiell out. The problem is they’re the same drug. Chemically, they’re the exact same, which means a drug which was killing people before is back on the market.”
“What does this have to do with Karl and why he wants to hurt either of us?”
Daryl nodded. “Good question. Your father mentioned Cordovex in his notebook Tristan has, so I began digging and found out what I told you. We think Karl is behind the break-ins at Tristan’s homes, all except here, and he’s looking for that notebook. Your sister gave him copies of the notes he had on Victor and Taylor’s wrongdoings, but she didn’t give him anything on those notes that come after in your father’s notebook.”
“Why?”
Tristan squeezed me gently. “Because your father didn’t make copies of those pages. Karl doesn’t know that, though, or doesn’t believe it, which is why I made sure Kim and her family are hidden away so he can’t find them.”
“Are they okay?”
Daryl chimed in. “They’re fine. The girls love playing on the beach and your sister and brother-in-law are enjoying a much needed vacation. By the way, I found out that their house has been broken into in the past few months too.”
Tristan started to say something, but my phone vibrated in the pocket of my yoga pants. Taking it out, I saw Jordan’s
name flashed across the screen. Showing it to Tristan, I whispered, “I have to take this. I hope you understand. I haven’t heard from her since she left.”
Smiling, he slid his arm from around me. “We’ll wait for you. Tell Jordan I said hello.”
I jogged out into the hallway, eager to hear Jordan’s voice again. “Hello?”
“Hey you. What’s up?” she said with hesitation in her voice.
“Tristan’s back. We just got home.”
“Oh, that’s great, Nina!” The phone fell silent, and after a long pause, she said, “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I said what I said that night. I was so out of line, sweetie.”
I couldn’t stay angry at Jordan. I just couldn’t. She was closer to me than anyone but Tristan. “It’s okay. I understand.”
“When I finally pulled my head out of my ass, I knew I was wrong. I just didn’t know how to fix it. We’ve never fought over a guy, and I had no right to accuse you of something with Varo, especially since he never even gave a damn about me.”
“That’s not true. In fact, I think he does like you. I have to get back into a meeting with our favorite mountain man, but what do you say to meeting me later this week? We can catch up and put all this in the past.”
“I’d like that a lot. Thanks for being so cool with me since I was the world’s biggest asshole to her best friend.”
I chuckled at her attempt at being self-effacing. “Don’t say that. Anyway, I guess we were due for a big fight. Most friends don’t go years and years without one, so it was time. Let me call you later and we’ll set up a time to get together.”
“Okay. I love you, Nina. Life just wasn’t the same without you.”
“Ditto. I missed you, Jordan.”
As I hung up, my heart swelled from the return of the other person so important to me. My mind raced with all the details I had to tell her, especially about Gage, who I hoped would now have the chance to ask her out. First, though, I had to be at Tristan’s side as we figured out what the hell Karl was up to and how to stop him.