Taylor’s hand stilled on her thigh for a moment, then resumed its comforting motion. “Did he hurt you?”
“Yeah, a lot.”
His fingers stiffened.
“He didn’t hurt me physically.”
Taylor’s hand relaxed a bit, then eventually flattened out on her leg.
“The only time he bothered to talk to me was to tell me what I was doing wrong. He didn’t touch me after we got to Georgia until the day I left. Something about being in his parents’ house, but that wasn’t it.” She shot a quick glance over at Taylor who was staring at his hand, gently stroking her thigh. “He woke up one morning and chewed me out for something… I don’t remember what. Overcooked eggs or something stupid. He lost his cool and raised his hand like he was going to hit me. I ducked, but instead of carrying through, he smiled and then hugged me, which was something he hadn’t done since we moved in with his parents. It was like my fear made him happy or something.”
It looked like Taylor had stopped breathing.
“I was stupid enough to marry Gary, but I wasn’t stupid enough to stay. All those warnings Jane and Fiona had given me hit home that morning. Once he left for work, I packed a few things, left my wedding ring on the dresser, walked to the road, and hitched a ride to the closest town. I called Fiona, and she wired me money. From there, I caught a bus to Atlanta and flew home.”
Taylor wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. “That’s one of the bravest things I’ve heard.”
She rested her head on his shoulder and relaxed into the motion of the train. She’d never told anyone about Gary because it hurt too much and she always thought she’d come off as foolish. Instead, Taylor told her she was brave. The relief was overwhelming.
Beau lifted his head when they came to a stop at a station, but went back to sleep immediately when they took off again.
“Did he follow you?” Taylor asked.
She shook her head. “No. And he signed the divorce papers right away. I still don’t know why he insisted we get married. I suspect it was a condition his dad had in order for him to get the company. I overheard his parents arguing about it one time. It certainly had nothing to do with me. He…” Dammit. She took several deep breaths and looked out the window, blinking back the heat building behind her eyelids. “He had lots of…girlfriends. He dated a lot.”
“While you were married?” Something in her delighted at the outrage in his voice and on his face.
“They texted, called, even sent photos. He’d leave his phone face-up so I’d notice.” She wiped away a tear that had escaped and straightened in her seat. “It’s like he enjoyed hurting me. I don’t get it.”
“You don’t get it because you’re not like that. You’re a good person.” He took her hand in his and laced their fingers together.
“I’m glad you left him.” His face was so sincere, it made her ache. “I’m glad not only for you, but because it put you here, with me,” he added.
For a moment, her heart squeezed and then expanded with emotion. She felt whole. Strong. Because she wasn’t afraid to be herself in front of him. Because she didn’t fear his scorn or judgment.
He’s leaving, she reminded herself. It was good he was leaving. It’s what was best for her right now. They’d had their fun and there were no strings attached. It couldn’t be better.
“Grand Central Station,” the tinny voice called from the speaker overhead right before the brakes squeaked and the train slowed.
Yeah. She’d gotten exactly what she wanted. It couldn’t be better. Perfect.
Taylor leaned over and nipped her earlobe as they came to a stop, then kissed her neck, causing her body to go all fireworks again. He kissed her lips and a deep, hot longing rushed through her, bringing back thoughts of last night and this morning.
Yeah… Perfect.
Not.
…
Caitlin blinked in the sunshine as they emerged from the subway station closest to Animal Attraction. Taylor adjusted his backpack and switched her suitcase and the ridiculous golden staff to his outside hand so he could wrap an arm around her. He’d been quiet since they’d left Grand Central. Maybe he was planning out options, like she was. Hopefully, he’d come to the same conclusion: they had to rip the Band-Aid off and be done with this.
“I want to see you again,” he said.
Nope. Not coming to the same conclusion at all, dammit.
He slipped his hand down her body and clasped her hand, locking their fingers together as they walked. “I’d like to take you to dinner tonight and every night until I leave. I’d like to—”
Panicked and totally unwilling to hear the rest of what he had to say, she pulled her hand away and held it up to cut him off. They could not see each other again. She was way too attracted to him, and he was the last thing she needed right now. He was dating at least two other people she knew about, which, she reminded herself, was normal and expected. Seriously, the guy didn’t owe her anything. They’d only recently met, but after what she’d been through with Gary, she knew she could not sleep with someone who was dating other people. Worse than that, though, was the distance thing. Spending more time together would do her no good at all.
She didn’t say anything for the next half block as she worked out how to best word it. Heart hammering in her ears louder than the traffic noises, she realized that there was no good way to do this, so once they reached Animal Attraction, she settled for direct. “No.”
He flinched as if the one tiny word had been a physical punch. He stood still as people on the sidewalk passed on either side of them. “We have a week before I move. I want to spend more time together.”
“I don’t.” She couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes. As she fought to keep her face neutral and her breathing slow, his words from the cabin ran through her head. “Your words and actions aren’t jibing at all.”
But despite the war she was waging with herself, she knew this was for the best. She had to make a clean break. “Look, you’re off the hook for working the Animal Attraction charity ball. You don’t owe me anything.” She stood up straighter, shoulders back, and offered him Beau’s leash, then took her suitcase. “I had an amazing time with your family. With you.”
“Caitlin—” He reached toward her, but she stepped back, and his arm fell to his side.
After setting the suitcase down, she took Beau’s face in her hands and pressed her cheek to the top of his head. “I’ll see you in the morning, big guy. We’ll hit the dog park so you can visit your favorite spots.”
A look of hope crossed Taylor’s face. Oh, no. No way. She’d never be able to resist him if they were alone again. “I’d prefer we keep the dog walking like it was before. You know, where you’re gone by the time I get there. It’s best if we don’t see each other, don’t you think?” Her words came fast like something that tasted bad that she needed to spit out.
His face had become cool and expressionless. “If that’s what you want.”
That was the real problem. She had no clue what she wanted. The only thing she knew was that she didn’t want to be hurt again. Even if he weren’t leaving, a clean break would be the right choice. She needed to study and work, not roll around in the sheets and lose her heart to some guy who already had at least two other women she knew about texting him about dates and panties. Shit, shit, shit. Clearly she was addled from her lack of sleep if losing her heart was even on her radar. A one-night fling was what she’d wanted and that was that.
She thrust her hand toward him for a handshake. After a moment he shook her hand and gave a curt nod. His lips, which only hours ago had been all over her body, were drawn in a hard, thin line.
She tugged the ring off her finger and handed it to him. He didn’t take his eyes from her face as he slipped it into his pocket. As she stared down at Beau, tears burned behind her lids. Not the embarrassing, ugly cry kind of tears that ran down the face. These were the kind that just pooled up in the eyes and mad
e everything blurry, like her thoughts at the moment.
“Thanks again,” she said. Blinking rapidly, she groaned inwardly. That sounded so…not enough. But, it had to be enough. It was the best thing for both of them. So, without looking back, she pulled out her key and walked past the entrance to Animal Attraction and unlocked the door to the stairs leading up to her apartment. Once inside, she slumped against the door and took a deep breath. She released her death grip on her suitcase handle and dropped it with a thud. All she needed were a few minutes alone to gather her thoughts and scattered nerves and then she could climb up to her apartment to deflect a zillion questions from Fiona.
Sitting on the third step, she closed her eyes and buried her face in her hands. She should be ecstatic. She’d had the best weekend of her life with no worries about what the future held. She’d gotten exactly what she’d bargained for. No strings, no drama, just full-on fun.
She needed to get her butt off of this step, go upstairs to her apartment, stream an episode of New Girl, and finish off what was left of her pint of Java Chip Häagen-Dazs. Only she couldn’t move. Couldn’t think.
You got what you wanted, she reminded herself. No. She’d gotten what she’d convinced herself she wanted. What she’d convinced herself he wanted, but she’d been wrong. “I want to spend more time together,” he’d said.
Dammit.
This time, the tears blurring Caitlin’s vision turned into the ugly, streak-down-the-cheeks kind.
Chapter Twenty
Caitlin grimaced when the coffee she’d purchased at Zeke’s Deli scorched her tongue. Blinking in the bright morning sunshine, she checked her phone again. Nothing. Not that she’d expected Taylor to contact her after she’d cut him off at the knees like that, but somewhere deep down, she knew the churn in her belly was disappointment.
The last text was from Jane just after midnight, asking her to come by the shop first thing this morning instead of heading straight out to her first client, Beau. Walking two doors down to Animal Attraction, she swallowed hard. What if Taylor had fired them? Jane would freak out, since Taylor’s bosses were the ones who funded Animal Attraction.
The bell on the door jingled as it closed behind her. The soothing, familiar smells of dogs, cats, shampoo, antiseptic, and floor wax wrapped around her like a balm, and she took a deep breath to calm her nerves, but it didn’t work.
“Well, you don’t look like a woman who just spent the weekend getting laid,” Jane said from the doorway behind the counter.
Shit. Jane was the last person she wanted to discuss this with right now. Fiona had backed down and stopped asking questions yesterday when she refused to talk about it, but Jane would be relentless. She’d been a lawyer before opening Animal Attraction, and once she started a cross-examination, she wouldn’t let up until she got answers. Only Caitlin didn’t have any answers.
With a sigh of defeat, she slumped onto a sofa in the waiting room, cradling her coffee between her palms and feeling more alone than she had since that flight back from Georgia.
“Oh.” There was a long pause before Jane continued. “Oh, Caity.” And rather than launch into an interrogation, Jane surprised her completely by sitting next to her and pulling her in for a hug. “I figured something was up when Taylor called last night to say he’d be dropping Beauregard off this morning for boarding.”
Stunned, Caitlin looked into her friend’s sympathetic face. “Taylor… Beau’s coming here?”
“He dropped Beau off an hour ago. He’s with us until the end of the week.”
Until Taylor’s move to Boston. Her heart plunked down to her feet.
Jane squeezed her tighter. “You okay?”
Caitlin nodded. What was there to say, really? This was how she’d wanted it, right? She’d told him she didn’t want to see him again. But somehow knowing she really wouldn’t—that he had dropped Beau off to make sure they couldn’t bump into each other, even by accident, stung. He must have been really angry to go without his dog for a week in order to avoid her.
“You want me to get someone to cover your day?” Jane asked.
With a deep breath, she stood. “Nah. I’m good. Thanks.” She wasn’t good. Not even a little bit, but she would be. Work would do the trick. With what she hoped was a passable attempt at a smile, she headed toward the back of the store to see Beau.
“Okay, hold it right there,” Jane ordered. “You can’t go moping off to talk to a dog when you haven’t talked to me yet. That’s Fiona’s M.O.” She patted the spot on the sofa Caitlin had just left. “Besides, she’d be pissed if I let you leave this waiting room before she gets here.”
“Fiona?”
Jane patted the spot on the sofa next to her again. “Yep. You’ve qualified for a genuine girl posse intervention, complete with chocolate.”
Oh, for Christ’s sake. She didn’t need an intervention. This was ridiculous. She made a grumbling sound and flopped onto the sofa, careful to not spill her coffee.
“So, dish. Start with the minute he came by to get you to the moment you got to your apartment last night. Don’t skip a single thing—well, skip some things, but not anything that won’t require bleaching my brain.”
The bell on the door jingled as Fiona came in, dark hair pulled in its usual tight knot on the back of her head. As always, she wore sneakers, scrubs, and a white lab coat. She had a green reusable grocery bag in one hand and a box from the bakery, Cupcake Love, in the other.
“Hey.” Fiona put the grocery bag on the counter and brought the bakery box to the coffee table. “I figured something named Chocolate Doom was a good choice.” Without meeting their eyes, she opened the lid and placed the box of delicious looking confections on the coffee table. Fiona was one of the smartest, kindest people Caitlin had ever met. She was also the shyest. As a little girl, she would take her toy, plush cat, Mr. Mittens, with her everywhere. When she’d feel overwhelmed, she’d talk to Mr. Mittens, asking him to speak for her. “Tell Caitlin I like her dress.” Or “Ask Jane if she knows the answer to problem thirteen.” Extreme shyness had always been a part of who she was. Something that made her seem mysterious and special when they were kids growing up, but her parents hadn’t thought so. Because she’d always seemed to communicate with animals more easily than people, being a vet seemed a perfect fit for her.
“What did I miss?” Fiona asked, taking a cupcake out of the box.
“Nothing. There’s nothing to tell,” Caitlin said, pulling out a cupcake and licking the icing from her finger. Dark chocolate, heaven bless the woman. She may be timid with strangers, but her cupcake choice was bold.
“Yes, but you see, Caity, ‘nothing’ isn’t the reason your eyes were red and puffy when you made it to our apartment last night,” Fiona said in her gentle voice.
“Or caused a client to drop his dog off uncharacteristically,” Jane added.
She didn’t know whether to be flattered they cared so much or irritated. “It was just a weekend. I pretended to be his fiancée and that’s it.”
“Sex?” Jane asked.
“Wait. What?” Caitlin sputtered, spilling a few drops of coffee on her jeans.
Jane and Fiona gave each other a knowing look. “Yep,” they said in unison.
“Start from the beginning,” Jane said, lifting her cupcake from the box. “And make it good. It’s too early for bullshit.” She took a big bite of her cupcake and crumbs spilled down the front of her silk shirt. “Oh my God. It’s not too early for chocolate, though.”
Or friendship, Caitlin thought. This is what she’d so desperately needed when she’d been isolated by Gary. Someday, she’d need to fill her two best friends in on the details of that, but for now, she’d settle for describing the weekend. And so, fueled with chocolate and caffeine, she launched into a recounting of her weekend, from the stuck ring; to texts from multiple women, including Felicia and her wayward panties; to snowball fights; to CliffsNotes-style vague mentions of kisses and non-specific allusions to their scorch
ing hot night in bed together; to her decision to rip the Band-Aid off as quickly as possible; to his request to keep seeing her; to her “no,” which resulted in the meltdown on the stairs last night.
“He’s moving,” she said in closing. “So, a fling is perfect. Easy, clean, over.”
Fiona and Jane gave each other pointed looks, the meaning of which flew right over her head.
“What?”
“Remind me again why you can’t be together?” Jane said, running her finger though a bit of icing on the cellophane window of the box and licking it off her finger.
Caitlin tamped down her outrage. Had they not listened at all? “Other than he’s leaving?”
Fiona closed the lid of the box and took it to the trash can. “Yes. Because that’s not a real reason. You said you weren’t sure the move was permanent, and Boston’s not really all that far away, especially since he’ll probably be coming back here on and off because Anderson Enterprises is headquartered here.”
“Stop it,” Caitlin said, pushing to her feet. “He’s totally wrong for me.”
“Oh, yeah. Tall, hot, and gainfully employed. Totally wrong,” Jane said, replacing a clip in her bright blond hair.
“Right,” Fiona added. “Nobody likes a guy who treats his dog like a family member and adores his grandmother and little sister. Completely and totally wrong.”
Caitlin picked up her bag, ready to storm out of the waiting room, but then realized she had nowhere to storm…and really no reason to. Her friends were trying to help her, but she’d made it too hard. They knew nothing about what had happened with Gary.
“He’s not wrong for me. I’m wrong for him.”
Both of her friends moved back to the sofa, and for the next thirty minutes, she told them about her co-dependent relationship with Gary, her isolation, and his affairs. And it felt good. So good to tell her friends about her mistakes and fears. She should have done it years ago. But she’d been embarrassed, and her pride had made it seem like a secret she should keep to herself.
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