“I’ll pour you one for the road, and you can drink it on your way up the stairs.”
“Well, maybe we should think of a way to help Jon out of this mess?”
“Aryl. It’s my week. Go home.”
“It’s your week and you’re the only one who’s not in trouble. How do you rate?” he said, seeing himself to the door.
∞∞∞
The next morning, the men were exhausted on the walk to work. Jon and Aryl slept poorly from silent tension that hung heavy in their homes, and Caleb had hardly slept, trying to make the most of the safe week.
“You know she’ll come around, Jon,” Caleb said out of the blue. Jon didn’t answer, still angry at him for slamming the door in his face.
As they walked into the shipping yard, there was a restless look on many faces and a nervous bustling as everyone hurried about their work. Caleb noticed it right away and suggested Aryl go talk to Roman to see what was going on. Aryl went to his office only to find him in a meeting. Roman looked very upset and was extremely animated in whatever he was trying to convey to the suits.
Aryl walked back out to the work area and stopped a couple of guys.
“What’s going on?” he asked, looking around at all the uneasy faces and the noticeable lack of day workers being let in the side gate.
“There’s talk of layoffs. It’s got everyone on edge. Saturday work isn’t going to resume any time soon either.” They continued on their way and left Aryl with a fresh worry to add to his pile.
∞∞∞
Jonathan and Aryl quietly worked together. Close to lunchtime, Jon turned to Aryl.
“You know, I was thinking about the night I got jumped. I was pretty lucky, I guess, with Sven being there and all.”
“Yeah, I guess you were,” Aryl agreed.
“But what if there’s a next time? And what if I’m not so lucky?” Jonathan asked calmly.
“There isn’t going to be a next time, Jon. Don’t worry about it.” He went back to pulling bags of flour off the top of the pallet.
“But what if there is? I got to thinking; I wondered what would happen to Ava if something happened to me? I never really thought about that before.”
“Nothing is going to happen to you, Jon. Except maybe get fired for talking when you should be working,” he snapped.
“Okay, but what if?” He went back to slinging bags of flour while he talked. “If something did happen to me; I get jumped, hit by a bus, an accident at work. It would be nice to know that Ava would be taken care of. I mean, you would, right? Take care of her like a sister until she remarried?” Jon asked outright. Aryl was visibly uncomfortable with the topic.
“Of course, Jon.”
“I mean, I’d do that for you. Take care of Claire like a sister, if anything ever–”
“I know you would, Jon. And I would take care of Ava.”
“You promise?”
“Yes, I promise, Jon. Now please get back to work before you get us both fired.”
“Okay.” Jonathan doubled his pace. “Hey, don’t say anything to Caleb or anyone about this, okay? I guess I’m just a little paranoid with what happened recently.”
“I won’t say anything,” Aryl promised. “Lemme ask you something. Say, for example, after Ava found out about Elyse, she then told you about something similar that she had been hiding. How would you feel?”
“I’d probably feel a little strange if she’d kept a woman in Paris.”
“I’m serious, Jon. Say you stepped out and begged her forgiveness, but then she told you about her stepping out as well. You’re both guilty. What would you do?”
“Jump up and down, thank my lucky stars.”
“Dammit, Jonathan, I’m serious!”
“So am I. If it were even, it would be over. We would have to forgive each other to be forgiven. All the chips wouldn’t be on her side of the table. I wouldn’t be stuck trying to figure out a way to convince her of something I have no way to prove. I’d take even ground any day. She says she’s going to Maura’s after Christmas,” he said. Aryl searched for what to say.
“She’ll come around, Jon. She’s just angry. Caleb and I can talk to her.”
“Nah. It won’t do any good.”
∞∞∞
Claire spent the morning working on the mural. She had finished Shannon’s angel, wrapped it in brown paper, and set it against the wall by the door. She had run out of black paint but she found that the cooled embers from the previous night’s fire worked well as a substitute for the paint. She spent the entire morning extending the storm front until it completely surrounded the lighthouse and loomed over the beach cottage menacingly. She amplified the torrent of the white-tipped waves to show them churning and swirling out in the open ocean, thrashing the sandy shore and painted the crashing water higher around the rocks at the base of the lighthouse. The once vibrant light from the beacon was made dimmer and extended now only a few inches before being swallowed by the storm.
After admiring it for a few moments, she felt satisfied and then decided to visit Ava. She debated all morning whether or not to go, knowing that Ava needed a shoulder right now, but also knowing she would learn details about Elyse that she wasn’t sure she wanted to know. She washed the black soot off her hands and changed out of her painting smock.
∞∞∞
Claire sat with Ava on the couch while she cried and told Claire everything.
“You honestly don’t believe him? That nothing happened?” Claire asked.
“No. And even if I did, he felt sorry for me the same way he felt sorry for her, and I can’t live with that. Ruth said he was always taking in pitiful things he felt sorry for. It’s no wonder he acts like he does around me and then dreams about her,” Ava said with a sniffle.
“I don’t think it’s you, Ava. I think it’s this life that makes him act this way.”
“I wrote Maura and asked her if I can go to her after the holidays. I want to go now, but I won’t interrupt her family’s Christmas.”
“Ava, are you sure you want to do that?”
“Yes,” she said, resolved.
“All because he didn’t tell you about an arrangement he had long before you?” Claire asked.
“Yes. And for the reason that I will never know what really happened on that last trip.”
“I know Jonathan. He wouldn’t lie to you, Ava.” Claire said with confidence, but Ava didn’t answer. “This affects Aryl and I as well, you know,” she said quietly.
“How?”
“On the trip with Ruth. When things didn’t go well with Elyse. Aryl was there, and at some point, I guess Elyse found him. She was all broken up about Jon. Aryl told me they spent the night together,” Claire said through her teeth. Ava’s mouth fell open.
“What?”
“And then I told him about Steven.”
“You didn’t!”
“I did. And he was furious. I’m not sure anything will be the same after this. He didn’t say anything to me all evening or this morning.”
“I guess all the cats are flying out of the bag this week,” Ava said sarcastically and sat back, crossing her arms. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. All I can think of is this woman, who from thousands of miles away, managed to completely disrupt two homes.”
“Destroy is more like it,” Ava said gravely.
“Don’t you wonder what she looks like? All morning I wondered. And the more I tried to imagine her, the more furiously I painted. I had to try to think of something else when I realized my whole wall was almost black with storm clouds.”
“I need to come see your mural. I haven’t seen it in a while,” Ava said. “And yes. I wonder what she looks like.”
“I guess we’ll never know,” Claire said. “I doubt the men would give us an accurate description.”
“But you know who would? Someone who saw her several times.” They locked eyes.
“Arianna.”
∞�
��∞
“You’re the only one who will tell us the truth,” Ava said sitting at the table, waiting for answers. Arianna procrastinated by making tea as slowly as she could before sitting down at the table with her friends.
“Yes, but last time–”
“Last time I got mad at you. I know. What happened isn’t your fault. I just felt betrayed that you never told me.”
“Would you have told me?” Arianna asked.
“Yes. Absolutely.”
“You would have looked me in the eyes when I was the happiest I had ever been, when I was completely in love with someone so perfectly compatible, you would have told me?" Ava looked down, seeing her point. “I couldn’t, Ava. Even if Jon hadn’t begged, pleaded with me, and made me swear that I wouldn’t ever breathe a word of it to you, I couldn’t have done that. He was so happy, and you two were so perfect for each other. I decided the first time I ever saw you together that I could never ruin that.”
“Did you know about Aryl as well?” Claire asked.
“No, what about him?” Arianna asked and sipped her tea. Claire filled her in on Aryl’s confession, and Arianna’s eyes grew wider and wider.
“Claire,” she straightened, intent on saving at least one marriage today. “He was always so good on all the trips with us. I felt sorry for him with couples all round, and he missed you so much. There was even one time,” she began with a laugh, “when a woman did approach him. She sat down next to him at our table, clearly enamored with him. Well, he went on so much about you that she got bored and left on her own. He talked about you all the time, Claire. I don’t know what happened on that last trip, but I can reassure you, I saw nothing out of character from him all the other times,” Arianna promised. Claire was grateful for her reassurance and remembered times when her friends in Boston would groan and complain because of the amount of time she spent talking about Aryl.
“We came here for a description,” Ava reminded Arianna.
“C’mon, no good can come of this. Just please go home and try to make things right. Leave the details alone.”
Claire was willing to do that as her heart was already softening. She just wanted all of this to be over, but Ava was insistent.
“I need to know.”
“You’re not going to like it, Ava. I wish you wouldn’t make me do this,” Arianna begged.
“I know she’s more beautiful than me. That won’t be a shock,” she said, casting her eyes down in humiliation.
“No. It’s not that. That’s the thing. She looks just like you, Ava,” Arianna said with an apologetic tone.
“What do you mean she looks just like me?”
“She has dirty-blond hair, light-brown eyes, she’s the same height as you, and even her build is the same. Of course, she wore wigs and a pound of makeup, but her natural look is very similar to yours.”
She sat dumbstruck at Arianna’s table; her tea growing cold in her hands. Part of her was relieved that there was nothing to be jealous of in a physical aspect, but this revelation planted the seed of doubt that Jonathan didn’t really love her so much as he loved how she reminded him of Elyse.
∞∞∞
This new insecurity preoccupied her thoughts the rest of the evening, and she didn’t acknowledge Jonathan when he came home, as they ate, or as she went to bed early, leaving him on the couch with his far off gaze. He silently watched her walk into the bedroom and then fixed his eyes on the fire again.
He went over the small list he had compiled in his mind. He had gotten Aryl’s promise to care for Ava today, and he would easily get Caleb’s tomorrow. He knew how, but he still needed to figure out when and where. He could take a walk one evening, slip into an alley and hide behind a dumpster, but the small, tattered shred of dignity he still held turned him from the idea of being discovered by strangers, gawking with pity. No, he wouldn’t hide in an alley, he would do it here. He needed Ava to be gone. She couldn’t be allowed to find him. The only time she would be gone for any amount of time would be Christmas Eve. She would be at Maura’s for dinner and mass. It would be easy to make an excuse to catch up, and then leave a clue for Aryl to find later, so he would prevent her from coming home.
It all fell together in his mind as he went over the final details of his plan. He felt a wave of relief wash over him with his final decision. He only briefly worried about what would come after, knowing the widespread belief of what happens to the souls of those who take their own lives. He remembered the truth Charles spoke on the night he was attacked. He loved Ava more than his own soul. So, he supposed it didn’t really matter what happened after the fact.
He peeked in the bedroom to watch her sleep. She would, in time, remarry into better circumstances and be happy again. He was sure of it. He quietly readied for bed and lay down at peace with his decision. It would all be over soon.
∞∞∞
Caleb trudged home, completely worn-out. He had worked at a rapid pace all day, working through lunch and breaks. Aryl had started feeling poorly earlier that morning, and Caleb had tried to do some of his share of the work, so the supervisors wouldn’t notice the lag. It wasn’t wise to stand out in a negative way or you risked being let go. With the plan Aryl had cultivated and organized this last week, Caleb knew neither one of them could afford to miss a single day of work. Aryl had everything worked out down to the penny, and it looked more promising than anything they had talked about previously.
As he fumbled for his key, he could hear Arianna’s sniffles and whimpering from the other side. He threw his head back and sighed heavily. What now? He simply didn’t have it in him to contend with her hysterics because someone was foul to her or something lovely was seen that they couldn’t afford. Every day he found patience to handle some sort of crisis or emotional outburst. But not today. He opened the door, and although it was dark, he could see she was on the couch, hugging her knees.
“Oh, Caleb!” She burst into sobs and reached her arms out for him. He stared at her for a moment with a tired, indifferent expression and turned, closing the door behind him.
He went to the deli around the corner. He hated to spend any money, but he was starving, and he knew there was no dinner at home.
∞∞∞
Arianna put on her sweater and headed down the hall to Ava’s apartment. Her knock on the door was weak, but Ava managed to hear it over Aryl’s heated debate with Jonathan. She had been sitting by the fire with Claire trying to get warm and tune out the men, both of whom they were still not speaking to. Aryl had followed Jonathan in straight from work to finish the debate that had started on the walk home. He was trying to get Jonathan interested in real estate without giving away the plan he would reveal on Christmas. Jonathan wanted no part of it.
“Arianna!” Ava gasped with one look at her. “What’s wrong?” She was leaning on the doorframe, her forehead beaded with sweat, the color drained from her face.
“I’m sick,” she started. Ava helped her inside and sat her on the couch.
“Are you in pain?” Ava asked, looking for an explanation for the tears.
“My stomach, but it's better than it was. It started this morning. I didn’t want to come here and risk making you sick, too, but I didn’t know what else to do. I don’t have the strength to chase after him.”
“Who?” Claire asked, taking her hand.
“Caleb. When he came home, I was crying, and I know he must be tired of that, but this time it’s serious. I went to the doctor today . . . but he didn’t know that, he just turned and walked away when he saw me. I don’t know where he went.” She started crying again and reached to hug Ava.
“Did he say anything? Do you have any idea where he went?” Aryl asked. She shook her head.
“He didn’t say a word to me. I didn’t even have a chance to tell him what the doctor said.”
“What did the doctor say?” Aryl asked, presuming her diagnosis was the same stomach flu that was spreading fast around work and the tenement.
“He said I have a stomach flu.” Aryl moved to the door and put on his coat. “And that I’m pregnant,” she blurted out. Aryl stopped short in the doorway, stunned for a moment, then looked back toward Arianna.
“I’ll go find him, all right?” he promised.
“Caleb should have been the first to know.” she said.
“Well, he didn’t exactly give you the chance now, did he?” Claire said, smoothing her hair. This was something they all worried about; bringing a baby into this dreadful place. But with little means beyond a calendar to prevent it, they supposed they shouldn’t be too shocked. Sooner or later, it was bound to happen to one of them.
“How are you doing, Arianna?” Ava asked.
“I don’t know. I’m still in shock, I suppose,” she said quietly. “I feel horrible. The doctor said it’s baby sickness on top of stomach sickness. A double whammy. He gave me a tonic to settle my stomach and iron pills. Dr. Westley said he was worried about my diet, under the circumstances. And he gave me the address of a midwife near here. He said she’s well experienced and doesn’t charge as much as a doctor. She can give me check-ups and see to the baby after it’s born. I hate the idea of bringing a baby home to this place. And I’m so worried that Caleb will be upset,” she said quietly.
“Well, it’s just as much his doing as yours, you know,” Claire said in defiance. “He would have no right to be angry.”
“I know, but it’s one more worry. And one more expense.”
“Listen,” Ava said and smiled. “Why don’t we help you get up to your apartment, so you can get some rest? Aryl will be back with Caleb soon.” Jonathan hadn’t moved from his seat at the table, staring at the floor. He couldn’t imagine how devastated Caleb would be, and he was grateful it wasn’t happening to him.
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