“And you made this arrangement before anything happened with her?”
“Yes. I never really planned on anything happening. I just wanted to help her,” he said uncomfortably.
“But it did. Eventually.”
“I spent a lot of my free time with her on subsequent trips. Nothing happened until the third trip, almost a year after I had first met her. I did care about her, Ava. But I didn’t love her. I may have thought I did at the time, but I didn’t. I liked having someone to spend time with on my trips. She didn’t have to live a sordid life, and I wasn’t alone when I went overseas.” He paused to let her absorb what he had revealed so far. “A year or so later, I met Ruth and we started seeing each other regularly. I took Ruth with us the next trip, and Elyse was not happy to see me with someone else. I guess I looked at our arrangement as more of a humanitarian deal than she did. I went to see her that night and tried to talk to her, but she was furious that I had brought Ruth and demanded that I send her home. I told her that was ridiculous, and I would still try to spend some time with her before I left.
“The next night, I told Ruth I had a meeting and went to another hotel where Elyse was waiting. She was acting strange, demanding that I marry her and take her back to America. I told her I couldn’t do that, and she said that if I didn't, then she wanted our arrangement to end. I told her I would end it, if that’s what she really wanted, and that’s when she went hysterical again and I walked out.”
“That’s when she went to Aryl looking for sympathy,” Ava assumed.
“You know about that, too,” he said with an uncomfortable laugh and ran his fingers through his hair.
“We girls tend to talk.”
“Apparently. I did see her one last time that trip. I spent most of the night talking to her after she explained her erratic behavior. She told me that on my previous trip, two months earlier, she had found out she was pregnant.”
Ava froze, staring at him with wide eyes. He could see her shock and gave her a minute before going on. She stood up clumsily, spilling her teacup on the floor where it shattered, opening her mouth to say something but couldn’t find the words.
“Ava, listen to me. Let me finish, please. Just let me finish,” he pleaded. “Please sit back down.” She continued to stare at him. “Hear me out. Please.” He sighed heavily and forged on. “She told me that’s why I had to marry her, why I had to take her with me. I told her I couldn’t do that, but I promised her that I would see to it that she and the baby had everything they needed. She told me if I didn’t marry her then she would get rid of the baby. I begged her not to do that. But she laid down her ultimatum.” He stood and walked over to Ava. She was still visibly shaken. “I didn’t love her. I couldn’t marry her. So, she went to the doctor and took care of it,” he said solemnly. “I ended the agreement with the brothel and she refused to see me after that. She was still angry at me for what she felt like she had to do. The next time I saw her was after I married you when I went alone. She came to my room and tried talking to me, but I stopped her cold. I told her I was married and everything we had was in the past. She screamed and yelled, threw a few things at me and then left. I never spoke to her again after that.”
“So, why is it that you were so defensive of her? If you didn’t love her and didn’t want to marry her?” Ava asked.
“Because that’s not who she was. I spent a lot of time getting to know her, and she was a good person. And I still feel very guilty over what she had to do.”
“But that was her choice, Jonathan.”
“I know. But I still feel responsible. So, that’s the whole story,” he said, letting her mull it over and waiting for her questions. She didn’t want to talk of Elyse anymore and went on to the next concern on her list.
“Ruth told me something that day in the park when I confronted her,” she started. “She told me that you felt sorry for me, and that’s why you married me. Is that true?” she asked.
“No. Absolutely not,” he said. He took her hand, led her to the couch, and pulled her down onto his lap. “I never felt sorry for you. I fell completely in love with you. By the time I took you home late that night, not only were Ruth and Elyse the farthest people from my mind, but I knew you were the one. I knew I would marry you.”
She leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder, relaxing somewhat. He sighed with relief and locked his arms around her.
“But you still dream about her.”
“These last few weeks I spent a lot of time thinking about the past. Most of it was too painful to revisit, so I thought a lot about Paris and the fun I had there. Not so much about Elyse,” he added quickly. “But me and Caleb and Aryl. It was sort of my escape, thinking about those times,” he explained. “I spent so much time in those memories, some of which were combined with guilt. That’s actually what that dream was about that night. I wasn’t dreaming about what you think. I was begging her not to get rid of the baby again.”
“But if she kept it, you’d always be linked to her. And if you didn’t love her–”
“I know. I just felt that it wasn’t the baby’s fault. And as shallow as this may be, if it had come to light after I met you, I most likely wouldn’t have felt so strongly about her keeping it. That probably makes me a horrible person.” He put his head down on hers and waited for the next question.
“No, it doesn’t,” she assured, although she loathed herself for a moment, being glad he would have chosen her over Elyse and their unborn baby.
“I’ll tell you anything else you want to know, Ava,” he said after a long stillness. She shook her head against his chest.
“No, that’s enough for tonight,” she said, feeling there had indeed been sufficient explanation for her to feel confident of her place in his heart again, and she would sleep soundly.
Ava slept through Jonathan’s alarm the next morning and he quietly dressed for work, kissing her on the forehead before leaving.
∞∞∞
Insistent pounding on the door woke her, and she stumbled to the door, wrapping herself in her robe. She smiled when she looked through the drilled hole and saw Maura’s dark, auburn hair piled high on her head, still in her uniform and looking rather impatient. Ava opened the door and hugged her before she could fully step inside.
“Thank you, Maura. Whatever you said, whatever you did, thank you so much,” Ava said, squeezing her tight.
“I dint do a thing, Miss Ava. ‘Cept lose half a day’s wages to come help ye bring yer things to me house. Yer still movin’ in with me, are ye not?” she asked, breaking Ava’s hold on her neck. Her face was stern but her eyes smiled, already knowing. Ava closed the door and turned to Maura, smiling.
“No, Maura. I won’t be leaving, after all.”
“Well, imagine that. Ye seemed pretty intent on leavin’ last week. Twas it some Christmas miracle that changed your mind perhaps?” she teased.
“Something like that. It was whatever you said to him on the way to the church, Maura. It completely changed his attitude and outlook, and last night he was so sweet, he was more himself and he explained–”
“Hold on, Miss Ava,” she said, waving her hand to hush her. “First of all, I don’t believe I had much to do with it a’tall. Tis my belief that it was what happened before and after my talking that brought about the change.”
“No, Maura–”
“I’m not finished,” she interrupted. “Lord Almighty, yer manners, morals and schedule have gone to hell without me around to look after ye! Now I want ye to tell me all about it, but first, go get yerself dressed proper and wash yer face. Ye look like ye just crawled out of bed what with the linen lines all over your face, and it’s almost noon!” she scolded.
Ava touched her face self-consciously and admitted she had, in fact, just woken up.
“Go. I’ll put on some coffee.”
Ava huffed her breath impatiently, wanting to tell her all about the talk with Jonathan, the whole story about Elyse and thank he
r a thousand times more. She went to dress quickly, washed her face and ran a brush through her hair and fairly ran back out to find Maura sitting at the table with two mugs.
“How did you make that so fast?” Ava asked, stunned at the fresh, steaming coffee waiting for her.
“Irish magic,” she said flatly. “Now sit down and tell me everythin’. I know yer dying to,” she said with joyful eyes and Ava began her long and animated narrative, including details about the new building at the end. “Well, Miss Ava, I am truly glad for ye. I was beginnin’ to worry about the two of ye,” she said, shaking her head. “But I won’t be takin' any credit, so stop thankin’ me. Now I need to go see yer friend, Miss Arianna.” She lifted a bag from the floor that Ava hadn’t noticed her bring in. “Point me in the right direction, would ye, darlin’?” Ava saw Maura out, telling her Arianna’s apartment number and hugged her twice more, making her promise to come back again soon.
A moment later, Arianna opened her door and Maura held out the tapestry bag. “I dropped by to bring ye some things, Miss Arianna.” Arianna welcomed her inside and invited her to sit, curious as to what was in the bag.
∞∞∞
“Hey, Aryl, are we getting together for New Year’s Eve?” Caleb asked, tearing into his sandwich. The three ate lunch outside, standing in between a stack of boxes and the building to block the icy wind.
“I’m not sure. I’m pretty sure there’s work the next day, at least, I hope they don’t furlough it,” he said, slightly worried. He looked around at the men who broke for lunch, and their numbers seemed to be dwindling.
“Well, we always spend New Year’s Eve together,” Caleb reminded him. “It’s no big deal to lose a little sleep, is it?”
“Let’s do it at my place,” Jonathan offered.
“Yeah?” Aryl asked, pleasantly surprised.
“Sure. Why not?” He shrugged. “It won’t be a big ordeal, but we can have a few drinks, listen to the radio.”
“Are there any more drinks to be had?” Aryl asked.
“I have a full bottle of brandy at home,” Jonathan said and smiled. “I guess I hadn’t felt like celebrating much these last few months.”
“You know what we could do?” Caleb asked excitedly. “We could have a Charleston dance-off, and we could come up with a prize for the winning couple.”
“Well, what prize do you want because you and Arianna always win,” Aryl said sarcastically. “I stopped competing with you guys a long time ago.”
“Who would judge?” Jonathan asked, liking the idea even knowing he would lose.
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe Shannon and Patrick would want to come over, too,” Caleb suggested. “Or Ian and Maura.”
“I don’t know, I only have the one bottle of brandy and if Maura comes…” Jonathan teased.
“It’s about time to get back, fellas. We can talk more about this on the way home,” Aryl said, tucking the cloth that had wrapped his sandwich in his back pocket. “And don’t forget,” he reminded, “we still need to get together to do an official cash count. And we need to agree on a place to hide it. I’m not so sure opening a bank account is the best idea at this point.”
“Neither do I,” Jonathan added. “But we could get a safe deposit box. And we could put it in one of the girl’s names.”
“Good idea,” Aryl said, pointing at him. “Would you mind looking into that? Hopefully it won’t cost too much.”
“Well, it may cost a little, but what’s it worth to protect what we’ve saved and what we want to do?” Jonathan debated.
“He’s got a point.” Caleb turned to Aryl. “We need to start protecting this now.”
“Okay. It’s agreed then. And you’ll take care of that, Jon?” Aryl asked.
“Sure,” Jon said, content to have something to do toward the venture.
They headed back to their separate work areas just as a burst of freezing rain fell, lasting only long enough to pelt their faces painfully and soak their work coats.
∞∞∞
“I brought you some baby items, Miss Arianna. A few things from when Scottie was a babe, and after I told me friends and family the happy news at the party, they all sent something as well.” Maura situated herself on Arianna’s couch and put the bag between them.
“That was very thoughtful of you, Maura,” Arianna said as she watched Maura empty the bag. She laid out two quilted blankets and several cotton swaddling cloths, a half-dozen sleeping gowns, a pair of blue, handmade, knit booties with a matching cap, and a dozen cloth diapers that, despite their thickness, had obviously served their purpose for several babies in their time. Maura added to the top of the pile two diaper pins.
“It’s not much, but it’s a start,” she said confidently. “I’ve put the word out and I expect to be bringin’ more things over the next few months. And I know it's borderin’ tackless to do, I should be asked, after all, but I was wonderin’ if it’d be all right if I gave yer baby shower?”
“I would love that, Maura,” she said, moved by her thoughtfulness. Arianna smiled at her appreciatively. It hadn’t crossed her mind that she would even have a shower under the circumstances nor had she begun to think about collecting needed things for an infant. Arianna sat, staring at the pile on the couch apprehensively. Maura stood and buttoned her coat.
“I best be leavin’, but I’ll be in touch. You take care of yerself, Miss Arianna,” she said, smiled and reached to hug her.
“Thank you, Maura. This is just so sweet of you.”
“Tis nothin’. I don’t mind a’tall,” she said.
Arianna closed the door behind her, walked back to the couch, and stared for a long time at the pile. Despite all her gratitude for Maura’s generosity, she couldn’t help but feel sad looking at the pile of used baby clothes. She had never spent any appreciable amount of time thinking about having a baby, but she was sure that if she had, she wouldn’t have imagined welcoming it into the world with so pitiful little to offer it. Her eyes misted in spite of her efforts not to think about it, and she felt irritated having promised herself that Caleb wouldn’t come home to tears yet again. She left the pile of clothes where Maura set them and went to the kitchen to start dinner.
∞∞∞
“Damn, it’s cold today,” Caleb said, shivering as he turned up the collar of his coat and pulled his hat down lower. It didn’t provide much relief; he was soaked through to his shirt from the brief but heavy rain shower after lunch.
A few blocks from home, something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye, and he stopped the others. He stepped a few feet into an alley where transients stood around a metal can, warming their hands by the fire inside.
“Hey, how’s it goin’?” Caleb nodded to one of the transients, who grudgingly moved over to let Caleb hold his hands over the glowing drum. Jonathan and Aryl eyed the scruffy men warily.
“C’mon, Caleb. Let’s get going,” Jonathan said, cold and hungry himself, wanting to see Ava and very uncertain about intruding into the group uninvited.
“Just give me a minute, Jon, my fingers are numb,” Caleb said, shivering.
“All right,” Jonathan replied, his eyes flickering over to the destitute souls who lived in this alley. They met his gaze straight on, and he looked away uncomfortably. He wished Caleb would hurry. After all, they were close to home, a place Jonathan was suddenly grateful to have to go to after spending a few minutes standing near the alternative. He stepped up to the fire next to Caleb, hoping to hurry him along and saw his hands, swollen and red with cold.
“My gloves got wet earlier,” Caleb briefly explained. Jon pulled his off.
“Here. Use mine.”
“No, you need those.” Caleb pushed them away.
“My pockets are dry. I’ll be fine. We’re close to home,” he insisted.
Caleb pulled them on, and the three started for home again.
∞∞∞
“What’s all this?” Caleb asked, looking at the pile of baby th
ings. He hunched down next to the fire, still trying to get warm. The hot bath had stopped the shaking, but hadn’t relieved the cold he felt clear to his bones.
“Those are things Maura brought by today. Baby things,” Arianna said with uneasiness.
“Really? Well, that was nice of her.” He moved the blankets aside and held up one of the gowns. “It’s so tiny. Have you looked at these?” he asked, amused at the miniature outfits.
“Just when she was taking them out of the bag,” she called from the kitchen. “Do me a favor and put it all in the box in the closet, would you?”
He put them away and sat down to dinner.
“What are you smiling at?” she asked, sounding slightly annoyed from across the table.
“You know, not touching the clothes won’t make you any less pregnant,” he chuckled, seeing right through her apprehension.
“Well, I know that,” she snapped. “I just didn’t have time to put it away is all.”
He was still grinning as he tried to cut the meat on his plate. The table shook while he sawed at the tough chunk. Finally he stabbed at it with his fork and tried gnawing off a bite.
“Sorry,” she said with a huff. Arianna sat back and crossed her arms.
“No, it’s okay. The potatoes look good.”
“I’m still learning,” she reminded him, insulted by the strained faces he was making as he struggled to chew.
“I know. It’ll get better,” he reassured and swallowed the lump of charred meat. “It’s tricky to get cheap beef tender.”
She glared at him. “It’s pork.”
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