At the kitchen entryway, he stopped again, squinting and adjusting his eyes to make sure they weren’t playing tricks on him.
“Hello,” Arianna said, smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek before turning back to the stove.
“Arianna. What are you wearing?” he asked in surprise.
“What do you mean?” She looked herself over.
“Are you wearing an apron?” he asked, incredulously.
“Yes, don’t act so shocked, Caleb.” She looked down and laughed.
“But it’s just–I’ve never seen you, never thought I’d see you, wearing one.”
“Well, naturally, I detest them,” she said with a flip of her hair. “But I got to thinking, I wouldn’t want to splash anything hot on myself and hurt the baby,” she said.
“Oh, well, okay.” He glanced over her shoulder at the full pot of potatoes on the stove. “Wow, that’s a lot of potatoes,” he commented. “Did you do all this by yourself?”
“Yes.”
“How?” he asked, trying to understand the sudden and drastic improvement in her domestic skills.
“Well, I got to thinking about it and I want the baby to have good food. I just started paying more attention to what I was doing. Oh, I met with the midwife today.”
“Oh, how was it? Is she good? Is she clean?”
“Yes on both. I’ll tell you all about it over dinner. Now, go wash up,” she ordered, patting him on the cheek.
“You’re going to eat all those potatoes?” Caleb asked, watching her heap her plate.
“Yes. Midwife’s orders. She says I’m too thin.”
“You are too thin.”
“Well, I left with a list of instructions to follow if we’re going to have a healthy baby.”
“Good. Sounds like this woman knows what she’s talking about. I want you to follow her instructions to the letter, Ahna,” he said, pointing his fork at her with insistence.
“Oh, I will. I’m none too thrilled about it, but I will.”
“Let’s get a second opinion,” he pleaded after dinner. “I’ve never heard of such hogwash in all my life. Retarded babies from–? If that were true, half the world would be retarded, Ahna! Think about it!”
“I’m not willing to take any chances, Caleb. What if she’s right? Would you honestly risk the baby being deaf or dumb or worse?” She hadn’t moved her hands from her stomach. “We have to think about the baby now, Caleb.”
He sighed long and hard.
February 1st 1930
“Where’s Arianna?” Jon asked as Caleb sat down next to Aryl, slamming his savings jar on the table next to the others.
“She’s not coming. She doesn’t want the baby to be around the noise and cigars.” He turned to Ava and Claire, who were on the couch. “She wanted to know if you gals wouldn’t mind having your meeting over there.” He turned back to the table and snatched the cigar out of Jonathan’s hand.
“What’s wrong, Caleb, a little tense?” Jonathan said and smiled mockingly. Caleb glared at him.
“You know exactly what’s wrong.” He turned to glance at Ava and Claire who were gathering up their things and waited until they left before going on. “I swear, I’m gonna lose my mind. Everything is the baby this, the baby that. Every time I turn around I hear think about the baby,” he said in a mocking voice. “She’s learning to knit. To knit! I swear, I don’t know who this woman is anymore.”
“Didn’t you always say that you wanted for Arianna to be more domesticated?” Aryl said and grinned. “Be careful what you wish for.”
“No kidding! Let’s get the cash count and checklist over with, so we can play cards. Of all the nights to not have a drink, I swear.” Caleb shook his head and dumped out his jar.
They each counted the money they saved from the previous week, and Jonathan did some quick math.
“Whew. It's gonna be close,” he said, rubbing his forehead. “We’ve got to do a little better this month.”
“We had to take money out to for pay the midwife, and we aren’t gonna be able to cut our grocery bill down as much as you guys,” Caleb said apologetically.
“No, that’s fine,” Jonathan said. “Buy whatever you need for Arianna. Aryl and I can make up the difference.”
“I'm also holding some back for a visit to Dr. Westley, as soon as I can convince her to go. I can’t get within two feet of her anymore. You wouldn’t believe what this midwife has Arianna thinking.”
“We heard,” Jonathan said grimly.
“You’ve told us three times,” Aryl reminded with a chuckle.
“Just deal the damned cards,” Caleb grumbled.
∞∞∞
“Well, isn’t that the cutest thing!” Claire said, looking over the lumpy, lopsided sweater Arianna was attempting to knit.
“Shannon is a wonderful teacher,” Arianna said. “I’m also learning to sew.” She pulled out a small garment that looked somewhat like a sleeper made from a flour sack. It was crooked and one arm longer than the other, but the fact that Arianna had made it with her own two hands was impressive enough. “After we move and money isn’t so tight, I’m going to buy some fabric. She’s going to teach me how to make diapers and bedding.”
“Wow. What does Caleb think of all this?” Claire asked, glancing at the perfectly baked oatmeal cookies Arianna had made for their meeting.
“Oh, he’s just over the moon about this baby! He’s so happy, sometimes he’s just speechless for hours and stares off into space, and I just know he’s dreaming about the baby.”
“Well, I think it’s great, Arianna.” Ava suppressed a smirk and patted her leg.
“Well, the first, and really only, order in our meeting is saving money,” Claire said, rolling her eyes. “Last month when we met, we made a list of ways to save, and now we need to see how that’s working, and where else we can cut corners.”
“Well, we started wearing clothes three or four times before washing to save hot water and laundry soap,” Ava said.
“Good idea. I’ll start doing that, too,” Claire said.
“Well, I can’t do that,” Arianna said. “I need to keep things as clean as possible for the baby.”
“We've gotten used to keeping the heat as low as possible, so we saw a dip in this last bill,” Ava said.
“We saved several dollars this month by doing that as well,” Claire said.
“I have to keep the heat a little higher, actually. I don’t want to catch a cold with the baby.”
“Aryl and I have started having meat only twice a week and that’s helped. I also only buy my canned goods from the factory seconds.”
“The midwife said I need to eat as much meat as possible for the baby, or I would do that, too. And I’m afraid the dented cans from the factory might be contaminated, and I can’t get sick with the baby. The midwife said I need variety for the baby, so I had to go back to buying everything from the grocery.”
“Well, why don’t you tell us what you have done to save money this last month?” Claire asked as they stared at her.
“Well, honestly, my expenses have gone up slightly. I mean, with the midwife insisting on a better diet for the baby, and I had to buy a little yarn to start making things for the baby. I had to buy some extra scouring powder and bleach this week because I have been trying to keep things as clean as possible, you know, for the baby.”
Once outside Arianna’s door, Claire pulled at Ava’s arm. “If I ever get like that when I’m having my baby, I want you to slap me. Repeatedly.”
“Me, too. I don’t know how we’re going to survive until June.”
“I don’t know how Caleb has survived the last three weeks. I’ve heard a baby changes you, but this is unbelievable.”
“Well, I kind of like it. She seems a little more like us now,” Ava said.
“Except with us the ending to every sentence isn’t for the baby.”
They walked into Ava’s apartment to the usual bellowing and laughing that went on du
ring card games.
“Who won?” Ava asked.
“Jon. Again,” Aryl said. He gathered the money they had used for the pretend bets and dumped it back into the community jar.
“I’ll take that to the safe deposit box on Monday.” Jonathan said.
Aryl screwed on the metal lid and handed it to him. “Thirty days and counting, we’re half way there.”
∞∞∞
“I was thinking,” Jonathan started as they got ready for bed, “and I decided that we shouldn’t wait any longer to start a family.”
“Jon, we’ve been over this,” Ava said, exasperated.
“Yes, I know we’ve been over it. Several times. And you remain unconvinced.”
“Due to the fact that we’re not ready,” she said and slipped under the covers.
“And I say we are,” he said, joining her and rolling to his side. “If we keep waiting for the perfect time, Ava, it’s never going to come. If we hold out until our life is more like it used to be, well, that’s not going to happen either.”
He moved closer to her and put an arm around her waist as she lay on her back, staring at the ceiling in the dark, unmoved by his emotional plea.
“Ava. If there is anything I have learned these last few months, it’s that things can change in the blink of an eye. Six months ago, I would have never imagined that I would be living here, doing what I do for a living and happy to be scraping together pennies toward a better life. And one month ago, I couldn’t have imagined that I would be lying here next to you at all, much less trying to talk you into having my baby.” She didn’t understand the first part of his last sentence but let him continue. “You never know when things are going to drastically change. The last few months have made my head spin. We can’t live our lives waiting for the perfect time. It’s never going to come. We have to go ahead and deal with the setbacks as they come.”
“Jonathan.” Finances weren't the only thing that made her reluctant. She took a deep breath, not comfortable speaking of Jonathan’s dark time. This would be the first time she spoke directly of his depression. “It feels like I just got you back. I don’t know where you went for those few months, but in both your heart and your head, you weren’t here with me.”
“I know and I’m so sorry. I know that was hell on you, and you have no idea how grateful I am that you stayed by my side. That time is hard for me to explain. I had to hit the bottom before I could see things clearly enough to pull myself out. But I’m not going back, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
He found her hand under the covers, pulled it up to his mouth, kissed it, and then put it over his heart.
“I swear to you. I’m not going anywhere.”
She felt his heartbeat and the warm skin of his chest and had the overwhelming urge to move closer to him. Instinctively, he moved his hand to the small of her back to hold her to him and she touched his face.
“Do you promise?”
“I promise.”
“Alright, I’ll think about it,” she relented.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
February 15th 1930
Following the instructions written on their homemade cards, Ava, Claire and Arianna walked into Aryl’s apartment at six o’clock, sat at the table and waited patiently for dinner. A sheet was tacked over the entrance of the kitchen, and jazz played on the radio.
“Whose idea was this anyway?” Ava whispered.
“Aryl’s. Since no one could buy anything for Valentine’s Day yesterday, they planned to provide dinner and entertainment for the evening,” Claire said.
“I can’t wait to see the entertainment.” Ava laughed.
A loud sizzle followed by swearing came from the crowded kitchen. Aryl poked his head out from around the sheet.
“Everything’s fine, but, uh, dinner will be a little later than expected,” he said and ducked back in.
Pots banged, and more sizzles, pops and swearing came from behind the sheet. The women held back laughter at the sounds of obvious struggling and shook their heads in pity.
“Maybe someone should go help them?” Claire whispered.
“No, this is good for them,” Arianna insisted with a smile.
A burnt smell floated from the kitchen and there were more fervent whispers and cursing.
Finally, twenty minutes later, each of them emerged with two plates, and the girls did their best to look impressed when dinner was set in front of them; charred bits of steak, cold baked potatoes, and carrots boiled to mush.
“It looks great,” Claire said.
“It does. You guys did a great job,” Ava said, and leaned over to give Jonathan a quick kiss.
“I don’t know if the baby likes carrots,” Arianna said, picking at her food.
Caleb visibly bit his tongue as he nursed the burn on his hand.
“Have you thought of any names?” Jonathan asked as everyone started eating.
“No.”
“Yes.”
“You didn’t tell me you’d thought of names.” Caleb looked at Arianna.
“I thought we could name it after my father, if it’s a boy, and my mother, if it’s a girl,” she said.
“Well, I have relatives, too, you know,” he said, irritated.
“Actually, it’s customary to name the first boy after the father and the middle name given for a relative,” Aryl pointed out, trying to quell Caleb’s irritation.
“Well, I decided it’s going to be a girl anyway, so all that doesn’t matter,” Arianna said and smiled.
“How do you know?” Caleb’s head whipped around.
“I just know,” she said. “Maybe I’ll name her after myself. After all, a little girl would surely be just like me.”
Caleb’s fork stopped mid-air and color drained from his face. Jonathan and Aryl struggled not to laugh and changed the subject to plans for the new building for the remainder of dinner. Arianna only interrupted three times with statements about the baby.
After dinner, Aryl changed the radio station to slower music, and Jonathan lit candles on the mantel, which illuminated Claire's mural beautifully.
“When did you finish it?” Ava asked. The bright yellow light shone through the billowing storm clouds over the churning ocean. The quaint, white cottage set behind the lighthouse, and the sky was lit with fiery shades of red and orange on the horizon behind it.
“Just the other day,” Claire said. “I’m going to hate to leave it. I think working on that has kept me sane.”
“I’m sure it will make the next tenants very happy,” Ava said. “And you can begin another one in the new place.”
The lights were turned off suddenly. Ava gave her eyes a second to adjust. Each man migrated toward the one who held his heart and asked her to dance in his own unique way.
“Would you honor me, Mrs. Garrett?” Jonathan asked and, without waiting for an answer, took her hand and slipped an arm around her waist. She smiled and rested one hand behind his neck as he placed her other, held within his, over his heart. She looked up to tell him what a sweet evening it had been, but her words caught, paralyzed by the intensity of his eyes.
She noticed many things in that brief moment; how he carried himself with dignity, his shoulders back with confidence and, especially, the way he held her like she belonged to him. She was sure he was hers again, returned from that dark, isolated place he went to, leaving her lonely and scared. She felt it was impossible to get close enough to him.
Aryl asked silently with a desirous stare that made Claire blush as he pulled her close and began to lead.
“Would you and the baby like to dance?” Caleb asked flatly. Arianna smiled, kicked off her shoes so they would stand eye-to-eye and took his hand.
Holding her close was torture as he had been deprived of her for weeks. With a strained expression, he inhaled the scent of her hair as she rested her head on his shoulder. Against his better judgment, he let his hands follow the contours of her back, waist, and hips. He let
out a ragged breath, closed his eyes, put his lips on her neck, and ignored the voice in his head that warned him he was only intensifying his agony.
One song ended and another began. Caleb wondered how long he would be able to enjoy her like this despite the fact that he would pay dearly for it later. Unconsciously he held her tighter as they danced until she pulled away. He apologized before she could scold him for squeezing her too tight. She ignored his assumption.
“I was going to tell you how nice this was. We haven’t done this in a very long time.” He stared at her lips as she spoke and then focused on her eyes.
“It is nice. Difficult, but nice.” He hesitantly leaned in and she closed the gap between them and kissed him, soft and teasing. He was the one to pull away after only a moment.
“You’re a cruel woman,” he whispered. “I can’t take much more of that.” She grinned sadistically, arched her back, slowly devoured his neck with kisses, and ran her fingers up his neck into his hair. He swallowed hard and grit his teeth. “I really need you to stop doing that.”
She ignored his pleas, toyed with his shirt buttons, and left a trail of lipstick kisses under his chin to the other side of his neck. He squeezed his eyes shut, let his head fall and clenched two fistfuls of her dress . “Arianna please, please go talk to Dr. Westley.” She moved her lips to his ear.
“I did.”
“You did? When? What did he say?” he was whispering loudly, but the others didn’t appear to notice.
Her seductive eyes danced as she whispered, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
A sharp knock on the door jolted the couples from the quiet, contented places they had found in each other's arms, and Aryl pulled away with a reluctant sigh.
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