by Iona Rose
“Amazing is a stretch,” Anne countered. “It’s noisy with all the chatter and rushing water… and those egrets on the—”
“You’re the only one that would have a problem with egrets on the water.” Tracy cut her off.
“Hey!” I scolded. “What is it with you both not getting along during these trips? You’re inseparable at home.”
“That’s because she likes doing things at home,” Tracy snapped.
“That’s because it’s real life, not a vacation,” Anne shot back.
Tracy’s tone rose. “You’re meant to explore during vacations!”
Anne just baited her for the fun of it. “No, you’re not.”
“Are you serious right now?”
She wasn’t, but Tracy was too worked up to see it.
I leaned back against the cushions our pergola was surrounded with and looked away to survey the scene a bit more as we waited for our food.
They kept at their banter, but my mind zoomed out as I watched the people surrounding us. The other pergolas were filled with families and friends, both the town’s locals and quite a healthy number of tourists.
I’d been a bit skeptical when Anne had gotten us the deal for the trip, but now, despite the hiccups thus far, I was glad I came.
Until… I spotted him.
At first, I was certain that my eyes were playing some kind of trick on me. Maybe it was the setting sun and the dimly lit ambience. But I was wrong.
There… on the opposite end of the river, and in a pergola with a handful of people, was the man that had refused to get off my mind.
The day had been good. I’d already managed long hours without thinking about him per se, but the sex haunted me as though it was a crime I had committed.
The flashes and the brutal pangs that came with them—of him ramming into me with complete abandon. They’d left me breathless and parched, starved with the need for him.
Now, he was right here, and staring directly at me.
I’d expected him to have left the town… to have concluded his business and returned to Minnesota by now—yet here he was.
I returned my gaze to my friends, and the distinct sounds of their chatter began to register once more.
“We need to visit Pamukkale before we leave,” Tracy said.
“Isn’t that six hours away?” Anne asked.
“Yes, but it’s worth it. We could make it a two day event, our trip within a trip.”
“No, thank you,” Anne said as she lifted her gigantic glass of Bay Breeze to her lips.
“It’s literally the eighth wonder of the world!” Tracy exclaimed.
“That’s not true.”
“Leah!” Tracy called to me.
My body jumped at her call, my heart missing a beat.
“This place has travertine terraces and thermal pools,” Tracy went on. “It’s literally a cotton castle. We cannot leave without going there.”
I had no clue what she was talking about and for a long time, I just stared blankly at her. All I could see and think of was the man seated with his party just a few feet away from us. This had to be the most goddamn fucking smallest place on earth.
“Leah?”
“What!” I snapped, so goddamn fucking wound up that I could barely breathe.
Her gaze softened then. “Are you okay?”
No, I wasn’t… My chest was heaving. “I need some air. I’ll be right back.”
* * *
Carter
I got out of the pergola the moment she did.
I knew I was pushing boundaries here, as she had explicitly told me she didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, but I needed to meet her one more time, and nothing would stop me.
I followed her closely and watched as she asked for directions from one of the waiters holding a massive tray filled with food.
He pointed towards the cliff.
I could see he was directing her towards the enclosed restaurant there.
She thanked him and made her way towards it.
When I got in, I saw the large space, filled with a handful of guests, preferring to enjoy the scenic views of the valley from the safety of an actual built structure, rather than the exposed pergolas.
I looked around for her, but my cock was already stirring with anticipation. So I stopped for a moment, my hand against the wall as I tried to regulate my breathing.
This is not what this is about, I reminded myself. You’re just going to speak to her.
But how could I forget the way she had tasted in my mouth, and how her pussy had milked my cock of more pleasure than I’d ever thought was possible. During those moments, the delusion that she was made for me had been much too easy to latch onto. So now, it was a notion I couldn’t seem to let go of.
When I arrived at the women’s bathroom, I stood waiting outside the door, and in no time, it was swung open.
She walked out, her hand brushing her curls out of her face, and she didn't see me.
“Leah,” I called out.
She froze.
My heart kept pounding in my chest as I waited for her to turn around.
It took her a few seconds, but when she finally did look at me, many emotions seemed to flash across her face. “Hey,” she said, politely.
I straightened and slipped my hands into the pockets of my slacks. “Can we talk?”
She stared at me, her gaze boring into mine and then she shook her head as if to clear it. “No,” she said. “There’s no need.” With a smile, she turned around to leave.
My hand shot out and caught her slender arm.
“Carter!” Her tone was low, but sharp.
I ignored it. I was going to speak to her today, no matter the consequences. I pulled her with me into the bathroom and locked the door behind us.
“Hey!” She lashed out. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m leaving tomorrow,” I said. “So, let’s talk about what happened between us.”
This seemed to calm her, but her chest still heaved, rising and falling heavily as it tried to catch up with her breathing. “What’s there to talk about?” She asked. “We fucked and that was it. Isn’t that how it’s meant to go?” Her tone had gone cold.
It instantly seemed to make me want to show her otherwise. “Alright. So how about one for the road?”
I could see her steel facade crumble then, her eyes filling with moisture. “No, thank you,” she said and marched to the door.
Again, my hand shot out, and held it shut just as hers closed around the handle.
“Carter,” she said. “Don’t turn this into a scene.”
“Kiss me,” I urged. “Kiss me and I’ll let you go. What we had was casual wasn’t it? So this shouldn’t be too much of a problem.” Without even realizing it, I had surrounded her. Her back was pressed against the door to get as far away from me as she could, while I towered over her, my hand holding the door in place above her head.
“I don’t want to,” she said, but her tone sounded completely breathless.
I searched her face, stared into the fiery depths of her eyes, and found the lie. If I were to touch her right now, she would completely melt, but my pride wouldn’t allow me. She had pushed me away once… So this time around, she had to be the one to come to me.
And if she didn’t, then so be it. I had my moment with her… and that would have to be enough. So I stepped away and lifted my hand from the door. “Ok,” I said, my gaze on her lips then I raised it to meet her eyes.
* * *
Leah
My hand was white-knuckled against the door’s handle.
He’d stepped away but he was still too close, because at any moment now, I was going to lose my head and reach for him. I had to put an end to this, especially now that he was leaving. So I unlocked the door, and nearly ran from the bathroom.
When I returned to the pergola, the first thought in my brain was to leave with the girls, but as I settled back unto the cushions,
I began to calm down.
I had done the right thing.
I’d been so close, especially after he’d said he was leaving, to throwing myself once again into his arms. But I managed to resist. I felt safe and strong, so I told the girls what had happened.
Tracy patted my arm in consolation, but Anne however, looked very unhappy with me.
“What are you so afraid of?” she asked.
Caught off-guard by the question, I shrugged. “Let’s not talk about this anymore.”
She pressed on. “Have you ever been in love, Leah?” She asked.
“Let’s move on.” I groaned.
“That’s exactly what we’re doing,” she said. “This is not about Carter. Marcus and Gordon… those are the only two guys you’ve ever dated, and you were with them for about four years in total. They did everything right by the books, didn't they? They were attentive and kind and never showed up late… so why did it end? And why weren’t you madly in love with either of them?”
“Anne let it go,” Tracy warned.
She refused. “I’m not going to.”
“Not everyone can be as emotionally detached as you, Anne,” Tracy said.
Anne laughed out loud. She looked at the both of us with incredulity. “Do you think that’s the problem here? Emotional detachment? She dated these guys for two years each and the day she broke up with them, she asked me the same question. ‘Why don’t I feel a thing?’ But let me tell you something… the day I broke up with David, whom I only dated for four months by the way, I thought I was going to die. I still haven’t recovered from him and it was three years ago.”
“Is that what you want to happen to her?” Tracy asked. “You want her to open her heart to him and then have it broken?”
“Yes!” She whisper-exclaimed. “I was hurt by David but if I had the chance to do it all over again, I would, with all of my heart. And I would gladly get hurt all over again, because during that time, I knew what it meant to truly be alive. To give yourself so completely to someone, to have your heart set on fire. To be fucking awake!” She turned to me. “What are you so fucking afraid of? I can see just how much this man affects you. What if there’s something here? It doesn’t have to be a lifetime, but what if with him, you’ll get to experience the most amazing week of your life, or month, or even year? He’s already given you the most amazing night, I’m sure. I have never seen you this floored by someone in all the years I've known you. And you’ve only known him a few days. Leah, be honest with me and yourself… has anyone ever fucked you the way he did?”
I couldn’t respond, but her words were eating me up inside in a way I couldn’t seem to dispute. “Anne,” I stated with gritted teeth. “If you don’t stop right now I'm going to leave.”
“I’m almost done,” she said. “So listen carefully. You should have kissed him in that bathroom, and if nothing else, it would have brought you some closure but yet again, you pushed him away. And now, you’re always going to wonder about it.” She nodded as if she were confident of her little speech. “What an amazing life of what ifs you’re racking up thus far,” she concluded. “Keep it up.”
Just then, our food arrived and it all came to a close… our discussion and our light heartedness for the evening.
Chapter 10
Leah
Later that night, I went to bed battling demons and by the next morning, I was ready to completely get rid of them.
“Let’s go paragliding,” I said to the girls at breakfast.
For a moment, they both stared at me like I had gone crazy.
Then Anne agreed with a shrug. “Sure.”
Tracy’s gaze shot towards her, eyes filled with horror. “Are you out of your mind? I’m not doing that!”
“Oh…” Anne’s fork clattered dramatically to the plate. She leaned back against her chair. “So now you don't want to explore?”
“I’m not jumping off a mountain for no goddamn reason.”
“But yet, you want me to stand on a damn flat board and paddle across the sea. What’s the reason for that?”
My sigh was heavy. “You both need to calm down.”
“Oh, I’m calm,” Anne said. “Tracy, if you don't come paragliding with us, I’m not participating in anything else that you want to for the remainder of this trip.”
Three hours later, the three of us were riding up the mountain in a Safari jeep.
As we bumped along, towards the point where we would take-off, about a thousand meters above ground level, we all remained extremely quiet, deep into our thoughts and contemplating the adventure before us.
To Tracy, however, it seemed to be more of an ordeal. “I feel nauseous,” she said.
“It’s the car,” Anne mocked her with a smile. “When you’re thousands of feet above the air in nothing more than a balloon attached to some cables, you’ll feel better. The air too will be fresher.”
I smacked her across the knee, while Tracy gave her a deadly stare.
After we arrived, we received the needed instructions and met our pilots.
Then Tracy began to tremble. Her knees were knocking together so badly that I had to settle her down on the ground.
“I can’t do this,” she muttered over and over again, especially after we saw another patron jump off into the air.
“It’s okay,” I told her. “You don’t have to. Anne and I—”
“Actually, none of us have to,” Anne came out of nowhere. “I just wanted to torture Tracy and my goal has been achieved. So let’s leave a big tip for these pilots for wasting their time, and go over to Cleopatra Beach. I have a lounge chair and a Mai Tai with my name on it, waiting for me.” She took off her helmet.
Tracy jumped to her feet.
I couldn't leave. I needed to get rid of my demons. I didn't know how this paraglide would even help me do that, but for once, I wanted to jump, especially with the belief I felt I would feel completely free afterwards. “You guys can go ahead,” I said. “I want to do this. Funny enough we’ll be landing at Cleopatra Beach, so save a bed for me, and three Cosmos. I’m going to need it.”
They both gazed at me, looking stunned by my decision.
Tracy stared at me with concern. “Leah—”
“It’s fine,” I said. “And it’s safe. I’ll have a great time and then I’ll come tell you both about it.” I turned around and walked away before either of them could change my mind.
In no time, I was strapped in with an instructor strapped to my back, so we could jump off the mountain. My heart kept pounding so hard in my chest I thought I might just pass out.
I shut my eyes the moment my legs lifted off solid ground, and all that came to mind was... Carter.
His almost boyish grin, but with that intensity raging in the depths of his glare.
Why am I doing this? I kept chanting to myself, until my instructor called out to me.
“Open your eyes,” he urged. “It’s incredibly beautiful right now.”
It took me a little while longer to find the courage to, but I eventually did, and my breath was stolen from me in a whoosh.
In the distance, I could see the clear, blue waters of the Mediterranean Sea, then the lush undulating green treetops and fields of the landscape. The only alternative way to such a view would be through an airplane, but nothing could compare to being right in the midst of it. The gentle wind caressed my face, but I hadn’t forgotten its inherent ability to plunge me straight to my death
The instructor pulled the strings to control the glider aircraft, so that we soared and sailed with the direction of the wind like a feather floating along in the breeze.
It all seemed too surreal to completely take in, but thankfully the driver gave me twenty minutes to enjoy this state of complete tranquility and freedom. From up here, everything else seemed so small and inconsequential… a perception that being in the midst of it all would never have allowed.
I had been so scared to do this, but then here I was, flying and feeling more a
t peace than I had in a long time.
Anne had been right… what was I afraid of?
The world was cruel, and so protecting yourself from hurt became necessary, but why did that have to mean never taking jumps that might be potentially fatal… never giving yourself the opportunity to soar, even if it would be just for a little while.
Tears rolled down from my eyes. “Could we land a little bit earlier?” I asked the pilot.
He granted my request.
Anne and Tracy were waiting for me on the beach.
But the moment I landed, I didn’t take the time to speak to them. “I’ll be right back,” I said, and ran to the nearest taxi I could find. My heart was painfully full, with longing and regret. I needed to catch him before he disappeared out of my grasp forever.
He had never mentioned when his flight would be, so I was queasy with the fear that I was too late, that he had already flown out of the country. I tried calling his number multiple times but then it would ring to disconnection and he wouldn’t pick up.
When I arrived at his hotel, I ran straight up to his room and pounded on the door. “Carter!” I called out. “Carter…”
No response.
With a sinking feeling in my stomach, my legs gave out and I melted down into a puddle on the floor. I thought of what to do, now beyond panic as the realization I had been too late set in.
I looked at my phone and at the unanswered calls. It wasn’t too late. I was still able to reach him. So I peeled myself off the floor to head down to the reception. There, I would be able to confirm if he had checked out yet or not.
I hurried away from the door, but had barely gone a few steps when I heard his door click open. I scrambled to a halt, and then spun around to see him.
He stared at me with groggy sleepy looking eyes. “Leah?” he called, surprised.
Staring at him, my knees nearly gave out. “H-hey,” I stuttered.
He didn't say a word, but it was impossible to miss the frown that dug into his forehead at the sight of me.
I placed my hand on the wall of the hallway for some stability, and forced my legs to move towards him. “I umm… I wanted to confirm if you had already left.”