by Iona Rose
I felt bad about this. “Of course you will,” I said. “I won’t be with him all the time.” I hoped.
“You’re allowed to spend the nights with him but when I ask you to come explore with me during the day, you’re not allowed to say no.”
I gave her a solemn nod, “I’ll do my best.”
We all turned to glance at him and found him watching us. He raised his hand for a wave, and the girls returned one to him with smiles on their faces.
“God, he’s so hot,” Anne drooled. “Are you sure I can’t even kiss him? This thing between you both is temporary right?”
“Anne, behave,” Tracy scolded as she sighed in defeat.
I had nothing else to say, but then I remembered his request of them joining us at our table. I chose to forgo it, not wanting anything to interrupt our time together tonight, so I didn’t bother informing them. Yes, maybe it was selfish of me, but this was about me enjoying him.
I soon returned to our table, the milk pudding I had ordered for desert awaiting me.
“They won’t be joining us?” he asked.
“No,” I replied. “Tonight, is just the both of us.”
“I love the sound of that.”
His voice had lowered to that deep sexy tone and my heart skipped several beats.
When we were done, he led me across the street to the beach. There, we indeed met a very small band playing, as well as a huge bonfire on the sand surrounded by people.
Carter led me to the snack bar and soon enough, we both had drinks in our hands.
He waited until I’d downed two full glasses of Cosmopolitans before asking me, “Would you like to dance with me?”
At first I hesitated, but then the alcohol had begun to kick in, especially from the bottle of wine that we had consumed during our dinner.
I gave my hand to him and he took it, leading me over to the back of the little crowd that surrounded the singers. He spun me around before pulling me into his arms, and I basked in the warmth and strength of his body.
His hands were around my waist as we moved our hips slightly to the tune of the music. I looked up to the star filled sky and then lost my gaze in the flames of the bonfire.
There had never been a moment as perfect as this, and it brought tears to my eyes that I couldn’t just freeze it, or somehow bottle it up and take it with me wherever I went from now onwards. I turned towards the man, and as I stared into his green eyes, wondered why exactly I couldn’t be with him beyond this trip.
He lowered his lips to mine, and gave me a soft, sensual kiss that tasted of him and of sweet, intoxicating wine.
I was heady from the man and the night, and my incredibly full heart.
Chapter 12
Carter
It was a few days later, and the evening after we’d returned from the two day trip to Pamukkale with her friends, when it began.
She started to withdraw from me.
We had three more nights together, and I could see the reality of our impending separation was slowly beginning to set in. And it shook her.
Suddenly, she didn’t fall as easily asleep in my arms anymore, and insisted more and more on going back to her hotel to spend the night with her friends.
I tried my best not to let it happen, because although I didn’t want to admit it, I was apprehensive too. Like how would I feel if she didn’t come back, especially since I didn’t have any official hold on her to ensure that she would.
Tonight, I could see she was reaching her breaking point.
We’d just finished from a shower together. I watched her, as she stood in front of the mirror, brushing out her hair to be pulled into a bun, I could have sworn I saw her hand tremble. She met my gaze through my reflection in the mirror when she noticed me watching her, and sent me a smile. Dressed in her khaki shorts and one of my t-shirts, I knew on this night, I wouldn’t be able to stop her.
“I’m going to stay with the girls tonight,” she said. “We need to start making the needed preparations to leave, so I need to be there to put my things in order too.
As if on cue, a call came in for me, so I gave her a silent nod, and picked up the phone to speak to my CFO. My eyes followed her around the room as she put her things together.
Finally, she was ready, and softly called my name. “I’m leaving,” she mouthed to me.
My heart fell into my stomach. For the few moments after, I couldn’t speak or even hear what Mark on the other end of the line was saying to me. My gaze took in her petite frame, committing all of her to memory… that was when I noticed her loosened shoe lace.
I dumped the phone on the bed and headed towards her.
She staggered backwards in surprise when I dropped down to one knee.
I held onto the back of her thighs to stabilize her. “Your shoelaces are untied,” I said.
Her smile looked shaky. “Thank you,” she replied.
I took my time, untying then re-tying the laces, and when I was done, lifted my gaze to see the tears gathering in her eyes. “Leah?” I whispered.
She blinked, as tears streamed down her face. She turned around to hide herself from me.
Too late to hide it now as a drop of her tears had already landed on my cheek. “Leah?” I rose, my hand held out but before I could grab a hold of her, she had pulled the door open and was out of the room.
I didn’t go after her, needing the space myself to think, to work out my own emotions- the turmoil slowly brewing in my stomach. My phone began to ring again, and I felt grateful for the distraction. I picked it up from where I had flung it to on the bed, and saw it was Mark.
“Everything all right?” He asked. “You just abandoned the call.”
I sat down on the bed. “I’m sorry,” I apologized. “Where were we?”
“Birnley’s coming around. He wants another meeting tomorrow.”
“Okay. Handle it and let me know how it plays out.”
“He wants the meeting with you,” Mark insisted. “He’s concerned about the fate of some of his employees after we buy the company, so he needs you to personally discuss these issues.”
His request was out of the question. “I can’t be there tomorrow, but I will be in two days.”
“He’s going to London the day after. His daughter just gave birth. I'm guessing this also has some influence on his sudden change of mind. We need to seal this deal before he backs out of it.”
My head pounded at the sudden obligation. “I can’t leave here until the 17th, Mark.”
He went silent. “What’s going on, Carter?” He asked. “The deal with Desa rounded up nearly a week ago, but you suddenly extended your stay. Are you coming back with a new nose or a wife?”
The new nose was a stretch but the new wife… hit too close to home.
I rose to my feet, running my fingers through my hair. “I have a great nose. There’s nothing to change.”
“I agree,” he said. “You’re also a good boss, and we need you here to make this a homerun. We need this win, Carter. Too many people have been involved in it and at the loss we had last week, it brought the morale of the entire team down. But now they’re back to life. It’ll add at least two million in business to the agency.”
I understood the gravity and truth in what he was saying, but my heart felt the bigger threat at what it would mean for myself and Leah if things ended earlier than we’d both planned. Especially after I'd just seen how much it hurt her at the reality that we would soon be separated.
For me… I felt almost numb. I knew our separation would be difficult from the beginning, but I wasn’t a stranger to goodbyes. I’d been well aware of how time had a magical ability to heal most wounds. So unless I was planning to keep her in my life for the long term, there was really no point in pushing this any further.
Perhaps separating now would be cleaner and easier, rather than in two days when we’d have to part ways at the airport.
“I’ll get back to you,” I told him, and ended the call.
Ch
apter 13
Leah
I’d fucked up. I'd truly fucked up, and it was bringing me much too close to panic.
The moment Tracy opened the door for me I hurried in, almost breathless from my run to get to the room. “I fucked up,” I told her.
Anne was already asleep on her bed.
Tracy’s eyes also looked groggy from her slumber, but a quick rub with her fingers seemed to wake her fully. “What do you mean?”
I dropped my purse to the ground and covered my face with my hands. “I cried Tracy… I cried in front of him.”
“Let’s sit down…” she said.
I allowed her to lead me towards the bed. I sat down and swiped the tears from my face. “I’m so fucking dumb. Why did I do that? But I didn’t mean to. I was just going to leave and then he dropped down to a knee to tie my shoe laces and it just melted me. God… I hate myself right now.” I turned to look at her.
Her hands were clutching her chest in relief. “I was scared there for a minute… when you said he dropped down to one knee, I thought you were going to say that he proposed or something.”
I groaned. “That didn’t even cross my mind.”
“So what exactly is on your mind?”
I inhaled and exhaled deeply. “I knew this was going to happen… I knew I was going to feel hurt when it all came to an end. I just need to keep myself in check until Saturday. Letting out my fucking emotions like tonight was just embarrassing for everyone.”
Tracy’s smile was sad, her hand gently running up and down my back to soothe me. “Do you really like him, Leah?” she asked.
It took me a long goddamn time to reply, but it wasn’t because I didn’t know the answer. Eventually I spoke and I was honest, “I do. I really do.” Tears filled my eyes again and it made me angry. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”
“You really like him. That’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
I exhaled then, exhausted and battered by the tumult of emotions inside of me.
“Leah, why did you both decide to end things after this? If you both really like each other, then why not take things further? Connections like this don’t come around very often. Why are you both letting go?”
I settled my gaze on her… this was the same question I‘d been asking myself over and over, but I lacked the courage to voice it out loud to anyone, even myself. “We agreed on a week. That’s all that we agreed we could have.”
“Things change all the time.” She shrugged.
“He lives in Minnesota, Tracy. I'm in Indiana. How is it going to work?”
“It’s going to work if you both want it to work. How long is the flight from both states? It can’t be more than two hours.”
“It’s an hour and fifteen minutes.”
“You’ve done your research!” She beamed. “An hour and fifteen minutes every other weekend to spend time with someone that’s special to you is a lot, but it’s not that much if you really care about each other. Plus there are calls and texts… and come to think of it, even people that are married have to spend time apart sometimes.” She snapped her fingers. “People in the military have the same dilemma too. You don’t see them giving up.”
I sighed. “I’ve thought of all of that, Tracy.”
“So what’s the problem?”
It felt almost embarrassing to admit, but I had to for my own sanity. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if it's just this week that he wanted?”
“Have you asked him?”
My throat closed up again. “How can I ask him that? This was supposed to be just a fling! He has never brought up any intention of wanting to take things further. Am I just going to allow myself to be slapped in the face by rejection?”
She went quiet for too long. “Will it hurt more than losing him forever, if you don’t try? With you always having to ask yourself ‘what if’?”
I turned to her with a frown. “What is it with you and Anne calling me out on my bullshit these days?”
“Because your pride keeps standing in your way, and it only exists because you really like him, so all you can think about is protecting yourself at all costs.”
I sighed. “So, you’re saying that I should ask him?”
“Yes…” Anne groaned out of nowhere.
The sound almost made me jump.
“You’re awake?” Tracy asked, surprised.
“Well, it’s hard to remain asleep with all the talking going on. She threw the duvet from her and sat up, her gaze settling lazily on me. “You’re usually much more clear headed Leah, but now it’s like we have to lead you by the hand every step of the way.”
“She knows what to do,” Tracy said. “She’s just scared.”
“Well…” Anne sighed. “What has fear ever done for anyone? You can’t ever get something worth having that doesn’t include being afraid. Feel the fear and do it anyway… and as cliche as that sounds, you know it’s true.”
“But why hasn’t he fucking asked?” I complained.
“Maybe he’s a moron?” Anne shrugged. “A very good looking moron, I admit.” She grinned wickedly. “But we’ve spent time with the both of you and I've seen how he treats you. He definitely cares for you, maybe even as much as you do for him, but he probably doesn’t realize it or want to admit it to himself. So one of you has to be humble enough to lay your pride down, or both of you are going to lose out on each other.” She walked away and headed off to the bathroom.
“She’s right,” Tracy said. “And you still have until Saturday. Why are you jumping to conclusions now? We’re riding with him to the airport aren’t we? Maybe he’ll ask you then. It might be too early now.”
I rested my forehead in my hand. “I’m just so fucking embarrassed that I cried in front of him.”
“You’re a girl,” she said. “Allow yourself to be one.”
”Ugh!” I griped and rose to my feet.
Anne came out of the bathroom. “Everything resolved?” She asked.
I was too wound up to respond. I went into the bathroom and sat on the toilet lid, my phone in my hand and my mind running in contemplation. Eventually I summoned up the strength to craft the text.
‘I’m sorry about the tears. I just felt emotional about something going on back at home.’
I sent it before I could change my mind, and felt sick to my stomach. Why did I just lie to him? Why didn’t I just tell him how I felt?
I sighed, and chose to be kind to myself. Baby steps, Leah. On the last day, you’ll be able to spit it out.
The phone unexpectedly vibrated, and I looked down to see a response from him.
‘Back home? Is something wrong?’
‘It’ll all be fine’, I texted back. ‘Not a big deal.’
‘Ok. But I need to talk to you.’
My heart lurched into my throat. ‘Oh sure… I'll be in your room tomorrow morning before we have to head over to the castle.’
‘It can’t wait. Can I wait for you in your hotel’s lobby? Or at the beach?’
‘Let’s meet at the beach,’ I replied.
‘Alright then. See you in ten minutes.’
Chapter 14
Carter
I waited for her, close to the snack bar.
It was just a little past midnight, so the people still at the beach had reduced significantly.
I felt nervous, more nervous than I should have been but I couldn’t control the agitation humming through my veins. This had to be done either way, and could no longer be delayed.
“Carter!” she called, the light wind carrying her voice over to me.
I turned around to see her waving, and headed over to her.
She’d changed into a light sundress, with a cardigan thrown over her shoulders. “Hey,” she said, her hair billowing in the wind.
I wanted so badly to reach out to brush it away from her face, but I had to keep my distance, especially now. “Hey,” I said to her, a calm smile on my face. However, I couldn’t hold myself back. I
caught her arm and pulled her to me for a quick kiss on her temple, and just like that, my body stirred in response to her.
I knew that thus far, in my thirty-two years, there hadn’t been a woman who’d captured my attention as strongly as she had. It truly made me wonder… what if? But I wasn’t in the position right now in my life to take on such a responsibility, especially with a woman like Leah. Women like her came around maybe once in a lifetime and it was either you started up with them and went all the way, or you fucked up and had to live with the regret for the rest of your life. There could be no clean escape from a woman as fiery and passionate as she was, but I just didn’t feel ready to dance to that kind of tune.
“What is it?” she asked with a smile.
Despite the smile, I could see the nervousness in her eyes. It brought to mind her tears earlier that evening, and it all made me feel a bit sick to my stomach. I decided to just get it over with. “Let’s take a walk,” I said.
We turned to stroll down the shore, side by side.
I couldn’t help myself, so I slipped my hand into hers and held on tight. “Leah,” I began, my heart pounding viciously within my chest. “Something has come up back in Minnesota. I'll have to leave earlier than I thought I would.”
She didn’t stop walking and neither did I, but for a few moments thereafter, there was only the sound of the waves as they crashed upon the rocks on the banks of the sea.
“That was sudden,” she said as she turned to face me, her eyes completely unreadable. “When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow morning,” I replied.
She immediately broke her gaze away from mine, and pulled her hand away.
I felt the loss like a painful jab.
“Alright,” she said. “It was nice knowing you, Carter.”
My breathing was labored and my chest tightened with a sudden pain. “It was great knowing you too, Leah. This week has been one of the best of my life.”
She nodded and managed to lift her gaze up to mine, a smile on her lips.