by Brey Willows
“But that doesn’t mean I can’t be okay with someone else believing.”
Mika gave a sigh Selene knew meant she was trying to be patient.
“Selene, baby, you’re meant to be with someone like me. Someone rational, a thinker.” She stopped for a moment. “And besides, we do have phenomenal sex.”
Selene shook her head and glanced at Confessions. Should she simply admit to Mika that the sex was far from phenomenal? That it was outright dull, and the thought of having to go through that process with Mika again nearly made her throw up a little in her mouth? Part of her wanted to do it, to put Mika in her place and take control. But the lighter side of her responded, not bothering to consult with the darker side. “Be that as it may, you made it clear even that bored you slightly.”
“True, I did. But we’ve had our little break, and now it’s time to continue forward. Together.”
Selene felt a headache threaten. “No, it’s not. I don’t know that it ever will be again. And if I take Falconi’s offer, I’ll be gone anyway, so there’s really no point.” With the words out of her mouth, Selene felt like she could go jump in the pool naked, or run down the street in the rain, or sing from a rooftop. That distancing herself from Mika made her feel so much better told her what she needed to know. “I’m sorry, Mika. When you broke it off, I was crushed. But it turns out you were right.”
“Fine. When you realize I’m the best option you’ve got, and certainly a more likely one than a religion professor, give me a call. I’ll try to make time for you.”
She hung up, and Selene was happy to allow her the final word. She’d always walked on eggshells around Mika, feeling like she was inferior. While it might be true, she decided she much preferred the way she felt around Alec. Not superior, or less than, but equal. A unique feeling indeed.
She folded back onto the couch and picked up her book, but the thought of Alec inspired other, more base thoughts. She put the book down and headed to the bedroom. Maybe some time with her vibrator would ease the tension she felt thinking about Alec. Or make it worse. Either way, she wanted some fantasy time.
The thumb-length silver bullet vibrator sat in her bedside drawer. It was simple, no bells and whistles. A bit of physical stimulation and a lot of mental visualization usually got her off quickly. She got comfortable, closed her eyes, and imagined Alec. Her hands massaging Selene’s breasts, her mouth closed around an aching nipple, her fingers sliding slowly inside her—
The phone rang.
She was tempted to ignore it, but the incessant ring made her sigh and reach for it.
“Hello?”
“Selene? Hi, it’s Alec.”
Selene’s stomach flipped, and she felt the blood rush to her face. The object of her fantasy on the phone at the moment she’d been making use of her image was somehow embarrassing, though Alec would never know. “Hi. I was hoping you’d call.”
“I wanted to apologize for last night. I was just thrown, and I didn’t handle it well. Can I make it up to you?”
“What did you have in mind?” Please say sex.
“I’d like to take you to dinner at one of my favorite places. And then maybe dancing? Do you dance?”
Selene pressed her hand to her stomach to quell the rush of nerves. The thought of dancing with Alec was more enticing than a philosopher’s book about confessions. “I do like to dance, yes. Should I meet you there?”
“If you want to. But parking isn’t easy, so it might be best if we take one car. I don’t mind driving, if you don’t mind being stuck in a car with me.”
Selene could hear the teasing in Alec’s voice, and it made her warm inside. “As long as you’re not going to drop me off like a sack of trash again.” She laughed to show she was kidding, but it needed to be said.
“Geez. I’m really sorry. I promise tonight will be different.”
“Seriously, though. It’s not like I live near you. Why don’t I take the train and meet you at the campus?”
Alex hesitated. “Well, how about I give you a choice? Dinner and dancing in West Hollywood, or dinner and dancing in the high desert?”
Selene thought about it. The last time she’d gone to the bar in the high desert hadn’t been terribly successful, and the thought of seeing those women again made her twitch. “West Hollywood, definitely. If we’re out late, I’ll need to get a hotel room, because I’ll miss the train back.”
“I know a great one in the area. Why don’t I book it now, and we’ll make that the plan?”
A hotel doesn’t mean no sex. That’s a plus. “That sounds great. Eight?”
“See you there.”
Before she hung up, Selene said, “Alec? I’m really glad you called. Thank you for not being angry with me.”
“I’ve got no reason to be angry with you. And I’m looking forward to apologizing.”
Selene could practically see Alec’s mischievous grin. They hung up, and Selene threw the vibrator back in the drawer. With any luck, she wouldn’t be needing it any time soon.
*
Alec waited nervously on the train platform. Things were getting out of control. She’d meant to become Selene’s friend, maybe. A serious acquaintance, anyway. She needed to be close enough to tell her the truth, to get her to believe. But here she was, taking her on a date. Another date. She knew full well Selene was seeing something more than what Alec had to offer. Although Selene was beautiful, intelligent, witty, and sweet, Alec couldn’t go there, not really. She’d been down the path with humans before, and it never led to anything good. And how would Selene feel when she found out the truth? Would she think she’d been betrayed, or lied to? Hasn’t she?
The train pulled up and Alec sighed. It would have to happen soon. Tomorrow, maybe. They could have breakfast together and she could take her to the office. So, Selene, this is where your logic has no place. Excellent.
Selene got off the train, and Alec decidedly ignored the way her stomach looped and her pulse raced. She looked gorgeous in her skinny jeans and loose sweater, paired with a silky gray scarf and knee-high boots.
“Hey there.”
Alec felt like she could swallow her tongue. She cleared her throat and concentrated on making word noises. “Hey yourself. You look great.”
Selene smiled. “Likewise. Do you ever wear anything other than black? It suits you; I’m just curious.”
Alec tried to remember the last time she’d worn colors. The French Renaissance, maybe? When she and her sisters had decided to be more in style, taking the time to have a real life rather than just doing their job twenty-four hours a day. They’d even taken a decade-long vacation, although the workload when they’d gotten back had been horrendous.
“Not really, no. I guess I’m a creature of habit.” She took Selene’s hand and nearly sighed out loud at the warmth and softness of it. “Ready to go?”
“I can’t wait. I haven’t been dancing in so long I’ve probably forgotten how. I’ll look like a clown having a drunken fit.”
“Not likely. And if you need some help, I’ll be right beside you.” She opened the door to the Hummer, and noticed Selene’s head tilted as though she were thinking. “Something wrong?”
Selene glanced at her and looked back at the car. “It’s the strangest thing. Sometimes, when I’m looking at the Hummer, it’s like I can’t quite see it properly. It gets…fuzzy, or something.” She looked at Alec. “In fact, the same thing happens when I look at you. If I look directly at you, or in your vicinity, it’s fine. But if I try to look at you out of the corner of my eye…” She shrugged, looking perplexed. “You go fuzzy, or something, too.” She shook her head. “I must need my eyes checked. Maybe something’s wrong with my peripheral vision. Although, it doesn’t seem to affect anything else.”
Alec gave her a hand up into the Hummer, her heart racing. She didn’t fully understand it, but there was a reason Selene had been chosen. This confirmed she was at least on the right playing field. What it meant beyond that, Alec cou
ldn’t fathom. “There’s a special paint job on the Hummer, and like you said, I’m always in black. Maybe you can’t see either of us because we blend in with the shadows.” She grinned to show she was teasing and hoped Selene couldn’t tell the truth behind her words. But if her expression was any indication, she hadn’t fallen for it.
“I thought we could go to the French Market for dinner, and then maybe to The Hollow for dancing. Does that work for you?” Please let me change the subject. I’m not ready.
Selene searched Alec’s eyes for a moment, before her shoulders dropped slightly and she relaxed into the seat. “I love the French Market. Their onion soup is to die for.” She moved her hair off her shoulder. “But maybe I’ll avoid onions tonight. Just in case.”
Alec winced. Don’t do anything stupid. Don’t say anything stupid. Don’t be stupid. “In case?” Well, that was stupid.
Selene looked at her. “In case I can convince you to kiss me before the night is over.”
“Ah. Then stinky foods should definitely be out.”
They drove in silence for a few minutes before Selene said, “Did you ever find out about the job, by the way?”
Alec had nearly forgotten the reason she’d given Selene for being on campus. “I did, actually. They chose the other guy, but said they’d like to consider me for a position in the fall.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I would have liked to see you in action.”
“Yeah, well, maybe you’ll still get the chance. Who can tell, right?” Alec gripped the steering wheel tightly. Why did everything feel like it had a double edge tonight? She shifted uncomfortably, an itch in her right wing making her desperate to reach back and take care of it. But with Selene’s ability, albeit slight, to see beyond the veil of magic, she didn’t want to take the risk.
“Are you okay?”
“I am, just an itch. Got it, thanks.” Or I’ve got fleas.
They pulled up at the restaurant, and as the parking lot was full, they managed to find a space down the street. They got out and Selene laughed. “I used to go into this shop a lot when I first moved here.” She motioned at the witchcraft store, with its dark wooden door and smell of incense wafting out.
“Really? It seems way out of your jurisdiction, Professor.”
Selene took Alec’s hand. “I was searching for something to hold on to, something non-judgmental, and this was right at the time. Can we go inside? I just want to remember.”
Before Alec could think of a suitable excuse, Selene pulled open the door and dragged her inside. It was dark, the air heavy. Selene wandered around the small shop, a tiny smile playing on her lips.
“Well now. If I had to guess which random person from my past would walk through the door tonight, it sure as hell wouldn’t have been you.”
Alec glanced at Selene, who was at the far end of the store. “Hey, Iza. How’s things?”
Iza glared at her. “How’s things? After all this time, that’s what you’ve got?”
Alec raised a hand to quiet her. “I’m kind of working right now. Maybe we could have this conversation another time?”
Selene touched Alec’s shoulder. “Everything okay?”
Iza gave a harsh laugh. “Sure, it’s fine. You go and enjoy your little friend. Because she’ll be long gone in the morning. She’s not one for hanging around, are you?” Iza’s arms were crossed over her chest as she stared at Alec.
“This isn’t the time, Iza.” She turned to Selene. “Ready for dinner?”
Selene nodded slowly, looking back and forth between them. “Sure.”
Alec took her hand and led her outside, glad Iza hadn’t continued her tirade at their backs. It was going to be hard enough to explain as it was.
They walked in silence for a moment. Alec said, “I’m sorry about that. Iza can be…volatile.”
“Is that why you didn’t stick around, as she says?”
“In a way.” Alec tried to think of a way to explain things without having to explain everything. “She was always volatile, and I never knew what to expect. And she had a fascination with death I couldn’t handle.” It’s true. Kind of. Iza had wanted Alec because of her obsession with vengeance after she’d lost a favored human in World War I. The sex had been insanely hot, but not worth the raging outbursts.
They were nearly to the restaurant before Selene said, “The woman at the mall, and now this one. Are there many?”
Alec smiled at the hostess and waved Selene in front of her as they were shown to their table. It gave her seconds to think of an appropriate response. But she couldn’t think of one. They sat down and Selene ignored her menu, clearly waiting for Alec’s answer.
“Yes, in a way, I guess.” She took a deep breath. “Honestly, Selene, I’m not really the relationship type. I’ve been in a few, but I always manage to mess it up. I work long hours. I don’t always call. I forget anniversaries. I travel incessantly. I find that if I don’t leave, the other person does, eventually. So I stay unattached, for the most part, and just live my life the best way I know how.”
Selene began folding her napkin into some kind of origami figure. “Okay. I didn’t realize that, but okay. So, this thing between us…”
“Can be fun. And interesting. And maybe even excellent. But it won’t be forever.”
They ordered their drinks and sat in awkward silence. Alec searched Selene’s face for a sign of emotion, but there was none. It was an impassive mask, which was far more worrying than if she’d broken down or gotten angry. “I really like you, Selene. I enjoy spending time with you, and I’m enjoying getting to know you. Can that be enough?” Please don’t let me have blown this chance. Zed will kill me.
Finally, Selene looked up from her swan napkin. “I’m not looking for forever, not right now. So fun and relaxed is a good way to be, for both of us.” She squeezed Alec’s hand. “Thank you for being honest with me.”
She opened her menu, effectively ending that line of conversation. Alec knew she should feel relieved, and yet, her heart ached for what couldn’t be, and for the pain she knew she caused Selene, regardless of what she said. And what about what I’ve yet to do?
Chapter Thirteen
Thumping bass slid over Selene’s skin like an energetic lover. Bodies of every shape and size moved on the dance floor, and all kinds of beautiful people sat relaxing under heat lamps on the patio. Inside at the back, groups lounged in oversized plush red booths covered in throw cushions. A few had the curtains pulled for privacy, although their silhouettes were still distinctly clear.
Selene closed her eyes and let the vibe fill her. Dinner conversation had been nice, but more stilted than any they’d had yet. Though she’d told Alec it was no big deal to keep things casual, it was an out-and-out lie. She didn’t do casual sex. She didn’t do casual anything, really. And it had seemed like they had such a great connection. She was hurt, but trying hard not to take it personally. After all, they were out on a date, and if Alec didn’t really like her, she wouldn’t have made all the fuss she had already. So why did she feel so empty?
Alec’s hand settled on her lower back and said in her ear, “Drink?”
Selene nodded and Alec headed for the bar. She liked the way Alec’s black jeans hugged her slim hips, the way the black leather jacket sat exactly right on her broad shoulders. Selene looked at the women on either side of her, and Alec went fuzzy. She frowned and looked away. She wasn’t going to worry about anything more tonight. She wanted to dance, lose herself in the music, and let go. Tomorrow, she could return to the life where she felt like a penny in a pool.
Alec returned with their drinks and handed Selene hers before taking her free hand and leading her to a surprisingly empty table near the dance floor. She shrugged off her leather jacket and hung it on the back of a chair before motioning at the dance floor and raising an eyebrow. Selene took a swig of her drink, savoring the rum on her tongue for a moment, before taking Alec’s hand and pulling her onto the dance floor.
They started dancing, and it took all of Selene’s willpower not to press her body against Alec’s. She looked good in her leather jacket, but she looked unbelievably hot in her ribbed black tank top, which showed off the flat planes of her stomach and the solid bulges of her biceps. Selene closed her eyes and concentrated on the beat rather than how much she wanted to trace the lifelike snake tattoo on Alec’s arm with her tongue.
They stayed on the dance floor for three songs, their bodies moving closer together, until by the last song Alec had her leg pressed firmly between Selene’s and they were moving as one. Selene tried to keep her eyes closed and concentrate on the music, but the connection with Alec’s body was like being touched with a blowtorch. She was on fire and could think of nothing more than the feel of Alec’s hand on her waist, her hard legs, and the marble-smooth skin of her shoulder under Selene’s hand. She felt a need like she’d never felt before consuming her, and she didn’t see any reason not to give in to it.
The song ended, and they made their way back to the table. The music was too loud for conversation, which suited Selene just fine. This way there were no words to get in their way. They could let their bodies speak through the music, which seemed far more honest. She watched the people on the dance floor, particularly the couples. Few people realized just how loud their body language spoke, and as she watched, she drew conclusions. The couple who left virtually not a thread’s space between them were probably newly together, while the couple who danced apart but only had eyes for each other seemed solid, more mature. Then there was the couple dancing together, but not together. Both watched other people, barely glancing at each other except for the occasional polite smile. Either they weren’t together, or they weren’t going to be together for long. She took a sip of her drink and wondered what people saw when she and Alec were dancing together. A leggy brunette in hot pants threw Alec a smile, and Selene wanted to leap on her like a tigress and claw her eyes out. Instead, she took Alec’s hand and pulled her back onto the dance floor. They might not have a lot of time together, so she’d be damn sure to make the most of it now.