Jenna stood up, her movements carefully controlled as she fought to keep a lid on her temper. ‘Thank you for the offer, Miss Carter-Lloyd, but I’m afraid I must refuse. Surely you can’t want Alex if the only way you can get him to marry you is to bribe the opposition?’
‘You’re making a big mistake,’ Selina hissed furiously, her cheeks flushed with angry colour. ‘Alex will see the error of his ways eventually. You’ll run out of tricks to keep him entertained and he’ll start thinking with his head again, instead of his trousers!’
Her venomous words ran round and round in Jenna’s head as she walked back to the office, and it came as a relief to discover that Alex was in a meeting and would be unavailable for most of the afternoon. She couldn’t face him right now, Jenna thought numbly as she tried to concentrate on her work. He knew her so well he would recognise instantly that something was troubling her, and, being Alex, wouldn’t rest until he had dragged the truth from her.
It was almost five o’clock and she was packing up her work when he came into her office, his heavy frown warning her that he was not in the best of moods.
‘Something’s come up,’ he said without preamble. ‘I can’t take you home tonight.’
‘That’s all right. Some other time, perhaps,’ she murmured, but her answer barely seemed to register, and he disappeared back into his own office with a distracted air.
It was bitterly cold and wet when she stepped out of the office block, and the gaudy brilliance of the Christmas lights seemed to emphasise the gloomy night as she joined the throng of commuters streaming towards the underground station. Christmas was just over a week away, but Jenna had lost all enthusiasm for it, knowing that Maisie would be spending the day with Lee. For her daughter’s sake she would have to try and dredge up some festive spirit—Maisie was already wildly excited, and tonight she had promised that they would decorate the enormous Christmas tree that Chris had only managed to squeeze into the living room after he had lopped six inches off the top.
As she crossed the road a car splashed through a puddle, the wheels throwing a spray of muddy water up the backs of her legs, and she turned to glare at the driver, her heart stopping for several seconds as she recognised Alex, sitting in the back of the Bentley with Selina Carter-Lloyd beside him. The two of them appeared to be deep in conversation, and Jenna shot down the steps leading to the underground station as if the hounds of hell were behind her.
So Selina was the ‘something’ that had cropped up, she surmised bleakly. Would she tell Alex that she had miscarried his child? she wondered. Selina was desperate to win Alex back, and her offer of a bribe to keep Jenna away from him had been hugely insulting, but at the same time her words had been undeniably true. Selina came from Alex’s world. She would make him an ideal wife, and could offer him wealth and, from the sound of it, half of Hampshire. By contrast, all Jenna could offer was a pre-school child, an ex-husband, and the prospect of a bitter legal battle. She didn’t need a financial reward to end her relationship with Alex; for his sake it was simply the right thing to do.
The next day she determined to keep out of Alex’s way as much as possible, but mid-morning he called her into his office, and her heart sank as he requested she close the door behind her.
‘There’s something I want to talk to you about,’ he informed her as he swung away from the window, but when she dared to glance at him she found that he was smiling and relaxed.
‘I need to talk to you too,’ she replied quietly, and at her tone he gave her a long, assessing stare.
‘You first.’
Jenna took a deep breath. ‘I saw you and Selina together last night.’
‘I gave her a lift,’ Alex admitted. ‘But from your voice I suspect that you’ve put two and two together and made at least fifteen.’
‘Did she tell you that we had lunch together yesterday? Her choice, not mine,’ she added dryly, as Alex frowned. ‘She told me, among other things, that she had recently miscarried your baby.’
Jenna didn’t know what she had expected Alex’s reaction to be, but his harsh shout of laughter shocked her.
‘Well, it was the immaculate bloody conception. Selina and I have never been lovers,’ he said forcefully, and Jenna shook her head in confusion.
‘But you were engaged.’
‘I knew it was a mistake from the minute I asked her to marry me,’ he admitted quietly as he moved away from her to stare out of the window again. ‘Discovering that I was physically unable to make love to her rather emphasised the point. If Selina was pregnant, which I very much doubt, it wasn’t my child she was carrying.’
The resoluteness of his tone brooked no further argument, but Jenna still murmured faintly, ‘She was very convincing. I’d rather you were honest with me.’
‘I am being honest, damn it!’ He rounded on her, his eyes flashing with fury, and Jenna felt her own temper rise.
‘Why would she lie?’
‘To cause trouble between us, I imagine. If that was her aim, it seems she’s been successful.’
Jenna bit her lip, torn by her desire to believe him and the stark reality that he would be better off with Selina. ‘She said a lot of other things…’
‘I bet she did.’ He took his hands out of his pockets and forced himself to relax as he crossed the room and pulled her into his arms. ‘I hurt her, badly, and I’m not proud of that. But I don’t want to marry her. I want you.’
Alex’s desire for her was not in question, Jenna thought bleakly as he drew her against his chest, his hand soothing her as he stroked her hair. And standing in his arms like this she could almost kid herself that she was content, but a relationship built on sexual attraction was bound to falter; her marriage to Lee had proved that. She wanted more than just his body—although, God forgive her, that was enough to risk her heart and happiness for—but she loved him enough to want what was right for him, and she suspected that one day he would realise that Selina was that person.
‘What did you want to talk to me about?’ she asked, forcing herself to draw out of his arms, and he sighed.
‘I’ve received some reports on Lee,’ he told her; moving to sit behind his desk and indicating that she should take a seat.
‘What kind of reports?’ Jenna enquired with a puzzled frown, and he sat back and subjected her to a long stare.
‘I employed a private detective to run some checks on your ex. He’s come back with some interesting facts—the most pertinent being that Lee owes at least fifty thousand pounds to various credit card and loan companies.’
‘How can your detective possibly have found that out?’ Jenna gasped, her mind reeling. ‘Surely that kind of information is confidential?’
‘You can find out pretty well anything if you’re prepared to pay for the information,’ Alex told her bluntly, and once again she recognised the ruthless streak that hid behind his charm. ‘Were you aware of Lee’s debts?’
‘Of course not. But I’m not surprised—he always liked the finer things in life. What about his girlfriend? Do you think she knows how much trouble he’s in?’
‘I’m not sure,’ Alex admitted quietly. ‘Louise Henry appears to be an astute businesswoman. The dating agency she runs is extremely successful, and she’s built up an extensive property portfolio. She’s either blinded by Lee’s charms, or—as I suspect is more likely—she is aware of his financial problems and is using that knowledge as leverage.’
‘Leverage for what?’ Jenna muttered in confusion.
Alex hesitated for a moment and then continued. ‘Miss Henry has been married twice before, but neither relationship produced any children. My informant got chatting with some of her friends at the gym, and I don’t think you should underestimate her desperation for a child. It’s possible that she’s agreed to clear Lee’s debts if in return he’ll marry her and provide her with the child she longs for: Maisie.’
Jenna had harboured similar suspicions herself, but had berated herself for being over-imagina
tive. To hear Alex voice her worst fears made her feel ill. ‘In effect, she’s trying to buy my daughter,’ she whispered miserably.
‘Presumably it all hinges on Lee winning full custody of Maisie; I can’t think of any other reason why she’d want to marry him.’
‘Which is why Lee is so determined to prove that I’m an unsuitable mother,’ Jenna surmised. ‘I would never prevent Lee from seeing Maisie, but she’s my baby. I’ve brought her up virtually single-handed for the last three years. He can’t possibly win, can he?’
‘It seems unlikely,’ Alex agreed. ‘But I can’t give you a one hundred per cent guarantee that the courts won’t decide in his favour. I imagine Lee and Louise will promote themselves as a devoted, happy couple who can offer Maisie a stable home life.’
‘Are you suggesting that I don’t already do that?’ Jenna snapped, and he held up his hand placatingly.
‘You work full-time; Maisie spends most of her days in a nursery or being cared for by your elderly neighbours. I know the truth, that you’re an exemplary mother, but it’s not me you’ll have to convince. It’s the judge.’
‘Oh, God!’ Jenna twisted her fingers together in anguish and Alex pressed home his advantage.
‘I have a suggestion,’ he stated coolly as he scraped back his chair and walked back over to the window, so that his back was to her. ‘I think we should get married.’
For a moment the room seemed to sway alarmingly, and Jenna had to force air into her lungs. ‘Do you mean to each other?’ she managed, wondering if he was playing some sort of cruel joke.
‘Of course to each other,’ he snapped sarcastically. ‘Unless you’ve someone else lined up?’
‘I don’t have anyone lined up. Getting married isn’t high on my list of priorities—although I can see that for me it would certainly be beneficial to have a wealthy husband and a proper home for Maisie.’
‘Naturally you would be able to give up work and concentrate on being a full-time mother.’ Alex dangled the bait cleverly, and she had to bite her lip to prevent herself from throwing caution to the wind and accepting his incredible offer.
‘But what would you get out of it?’
‘You in my bed on a permanent basis,’ he stated bluntly, and the tiny flame of hope that had flickered in her chest since he’d first voiced his suggestion was quickly extinguished.
‘Sex isn’t a proper basis for marriage,’ she said huskily. ‘Even good sex.’
She recalled Selina’s statement that Alex was obsessed with her. Sexual desire was a potent force that overruled common sense, as she had found out when she married Lee. Alex might desire her now, she could even believe that he cared for her—and Maisie, in his way—but he had never mentioned love. It was tempting to accept his offer, if for no other reason than to secure Maisie’s future, but she couldn’t bear to watch as Alex’s passion for her faded, leaving nothing in its place.
‘You must see that it would never work,’ she murmured. ‘You need a wife who can share the demands of your career, who can host dinner parties and entertain your clients. If you married me you’d probably live on fish fingers,’ she quipped, trying to hide the fact that she was breaking up inside.
‘I don’t want you for your culinary expertise,’ Alex growled, so fiercely that she was forced to believe him. It was her expertise in the bedroom he was interested in, she conceded, although even that was debatable.
‘A marriage between us wouldn’t work because we don’t love each other,’ Jenna stated firmly. ‘I already have one disastrous attempt behind me, yet at the time I truly believed that I loved Lee and he loved me. I’m not sure I’ll ever trust my judgement enough to make such a commitment again, and I’m certainly not going to get married for the sake of convenience.’
Alex was silent for so long that she could only hazard a guess at his thoughts while he stood, his shoulders rigid, staring out over the city.
‘I can see I’ll have to find the thumbscrews,’ he said lightly, turning to face her at last, the expression in his dark eyes unfathomable, although the smile he gave seemed genuine enough.
Was there a hint of relief about him? she wondered painfully. Perhaps he had only asked her to marry him out of a sense of duty, a concern for Maisie? He had said he wanted her in his bed, but in all honesty there were any number of willing volunteers eager to fill the post of his lover, and she would bet that none of them had a child in tow.
‘What happens between us now?’ she asked quietly, sure that he would want to end their relationship.
‘Nothing,’ he replied, with a shrug that spoke of indifference and hid his inner frustration.
He had rushed her, and if he didn’t tread carefully he would lose her completely. He had underestimated the damage her damned ex-husband had inflicted on her self-esteem, the devastation Lee had wrought on her ability to trust her own emotions. He had lost serious ground, Alex conceded bitterly, but he wouldn’t lose her—not without a fight.
‘I don’t see why we can’t carry on as we were. You still want me as much as I want you,’ he added, with a flash of his old arrogance, and despite everything she found she was powerless to resist his kiss, her arms moving of their own accord to wind around his neck as the pressure of his mouth increased.
Feeling her willing response, he tightened his arms around her, one hand sliding down to cup her bottom and pull her hard against his thighs so that she was made achingly aware of his hunger. When he finally released her she was flushed and trembling, shamingly aware that if he repeated his suggestion to make love to her across his desk she would willingly comply.
‘This hasn’t changed,’ he told her softly, ‘and nothing Lee or Selina can do or say will alter my desire for you.’
He insisted on driving her home after work, stopping off on the way to collect Maisie. The nursery had held a Christmas party, and Maisie skipped out to the car looking utterly adorable in her fairy costume, complete with wings, which Jenna had constructed from wire coat hangers and net curtains.
‘I look like a real fairy, don’t I?’ the little girl demanded, and Alex felt a gentle tug on his heart as he lifted her into the car and fastened her safety harness.
If anyone had told him six months ago that he would be seriously considering exchanging his bachelor lifestyle for fatherhood he would have laughed, he admitted with a rueful smile. He had assured Jenna that he would never upset her or her daughter, and the truth was that doing so would be akin to cutting his heart out.
‘You certainly do,’ he assured Maisie gravely as he struggled to accommodate her wings beneath the child restraint, and, watching them, Jenna felt a pang of dismay.
It was plain that Maisie adored Alex, and he seemed to be genuinely fond of her. Maybe she should have accepted his marriage proposal and prayed for a miracle, she fretted. Perhaps in time Alex would have grown to love her. But it was too late now. She could hardly tell him she had changed her mind.
He stayed for dinner, and as Jenna tucked Maisie into bed the butterflies in the pit of her stomach set up a clog dance, her nerves stretched to breaking point when she went back downstairs. Would he expect to stay the night? she wondered, the sight of him sprawled on the sofa setting up a slow, steady drumbeat of desire in her veins. He had discarded his tie and unbuttoned the top couple of buttons of his shirt so that she could glimpse the dark hairs that covered his chest. His body was lean and hard, so sexy that she felt a shiver run the length of her spine, and her face flamed when he glanced up and saw the unguarded expression in her eyes.
‘Come here,’ he commanded, and she gave up any semblance of trying to act cool and fell into his arms. ‘My parents have invited us to spend Christmas Day with them,’ he murmured long moments later, as she balanced on his knee, her mouth swollen from the fierce hunger of his, her blouse and bra lying in a pile at her feet. ‘I accepted on your behalf.’
‘Alex, I don’t think…’ In truth she could barely concentrate on his words; she simply wanted him to continu
e his sweet sorcery, her breasts aching for his possession, and she frowned as he reached for her blouse and slid it over her shoulders. ‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Your parents must have been hoping that Selina would accompany you. What will they think of me?’
He caught the note of uncertainty in her voice and stared at her with quiet determination. ‘They’re looking forward to meeting you. They’re quite aware that I intend to spend Christmas Day with you, so either we both visit them or we don’t. It’s your choice.’
‘That’s not fair,’ Jenna muttered distractedly, unable to hide her dismay as he fastened the buttons of her blouse. Perhaps his much-vaunted desire for her was fading already.
‘How were you planning to spend Christmas Day, then? Other than moping around missing Maisie and feeling sorry for yourself?’ He ignored her furious gasp and continued, ‘Chris has been invited to spend Christmas with his new girlfriend’s family, but he’s refused on the grounds that he felt he should stay with you.’
‘I don’t want him to do that,’ Jenna muttered miserably, and was rewarded with a smile.
‘Good! Tell him you’re going to spend the day with me and he can go off and enjoy himself without feeling guilty.’ He eased her off his lap and stood up, reaching for his jacket.
‘You don’t have to go just yet,’ Jenna murmured, aware that she was blushing as she cast pride aside and made it plain that she hoped he would stay. He gave her a gentle smile.
‘Yes, I do. Don’t get me wrong. I want to make love to you quite desperately. But, as you said earlier, sex isn’t a proper basis for a relationship. I need to know exactly what you want from me, and I’m not sure you even know that yourself yet. But I can wait. I want to prove that there is more than just physical desire between us, and to do that sex needs to go on the back burner for a while.’
He’d picked a fine time to be honourable, Jenna thought irritably as she tossed beneath the sheets later that night, her body burning up with sexual frustration that made sleep impossible. She loved him, but right now she hated him too—hated the ease with which he could arouse her senses to fever-pitch and then just walk away, spouting some nonsense about a platonic relationship.
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