by Dana Delamar
I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. “Yes.” Okay, Dev hadn’t been happy about it at first, but last night he’d obviously been very okay with it.
Daniel’s eyes didn’t leave my face for the longest time, then he blew out a breath and dropped back into his chair. The leather complained loudly. “You’re all together. A threesome.”
“Yes.”
“Jesus. Is there something in the TI water bottles?” he muttered while scrubbing his face with both hands.
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing.” He waved it off. “Look, Sky. I didn’t think you were going to sleep with them. If I’d known—”
I cut him off. “You knew. I told you I’d do whatever needed doing.”
“I thought you were going to flirt with them, cajole them into it. I never thought you’d use your body as a—”
“Bridge?”
“—bargaining chip. But it seems like you have other thoughts on the matter.”
“No.” I shook my head so violently my hair swung into my face. I swiped at my cheek with the palm of my hand to brush it back. “This is business.”
Daniel’s face darkened, and his jaw tightened. “I’m not a fucking pimp. If you’re going to be this mercenary about it, I’m not sure we should be in business together.”
My stomach dropped. “What?”
“I’ve offered you fifteen percent of TI. My partners and I have a lot riding on this deal. The reputation of our business. Shit.” He rested his head on the back of the chair. “This company has been our lives for years. I’ve known you for what? A minute? I can’t let you destroy what we’ve worked so hard to achieve.”
My stomach churned with anger and hurt… with defeat. Hadn’t I known from the start that this was stupid? That it was wrong to use sex to get what I wanted?
What was I trying to accomplish? Had I really slept with Rod and Dev for that fifteen percent of TI? If that were truly the case, then Daniel was right. I had no place at TI.
But were the partnership at TI and the bonus the real reasons I’d taken the job, or was it that I couldn’t give up the chance to see Rod and Dev again? That I couldn’t give up the chance to talk to them again? Kiss them again? Feel them inside me again?
My eyes filled with tears. I wrapped my arms around my waist and slumped over my crossed legs. “I have feelings for them. I always have.” A sob escaped my throat.
“And now you’re in love with them,” Daniel said softly.
I wiped at my wet cheeks and sat up straight. “But I can’t be.”
“Why not?” Daniel eyed me curiously. “If they both want you, and you want them…”
“They want each other.” The truth of my words stabbed me in the heart. I wanted to throw myself onto the floor, sink into the plush carpeting, and disappear forever. Anything to end this pain.
“Ah… I didn’t know Dev was bisexual.” Sympathy softened Daniel’s expression. “Where does that leave you in all of this?”
“Dev has a hard time accepting that aspect of his sexuality. As for me”—I shrugged—“I’m the bridge between them. That’s all I’ve ever been.”
Daniel picked up a box of tissues and handed it to me. Giving him a watery smile, I plucked a few from the box and blew my nose.
When I was done, Daniel smiled gently. “I think you’re right—and you’re wrong. I’ve seen how they look at you. Have you tried telling them how you feel? Do they know about our agreement? The partnership and bonus?”
“I can’t tell them yet.” I grabbed another tissue and dabbed at my eyes. “I’ll tell them when they’re solid. When I know they’ll have each other.”
Daniel walked around to the front of his desk and leaned against the edge. “I think…” He waited until I looked up. Then he tilted his head forward a little and narrowed his eyes. “You need to come clean with them, now.”
He was the judge; his words were the gavel. My sentence was clear.
I swallowed and nodded. I would tell them. As soon as I could, and I would bear the brunt of my punishment.
Even if it meant I would never see them again.
SKY
I pulled myself together and went looking for Rod. He wasn’t in his bungalow, he wasn’t in the canteen, he wasn’t in the pool. I finally found him nursing a beer amid the hut that Dev had built, the one that Rod had never worked on. He looked up at my approach and gave me a weak smile.
I sat down on the log next to him. “You didn’t come to rehearsal.”
He took a swig of his beer and nodded, but didn’t say a word.
“Why not?”
He kept his eyes fixed on his bare feet burrowing into the soft white sand. “It’s always one step forward, twenty steps back with him.”
I touched his arm. “What do you mean?”
“Come on, Sky. You’re not thickheaded.”
I reviewed the night in my head, the way they’d touched, the way I’d felt during and after, the things we’d said…
And then it struck me.
Dev had told me he loved me.
But he hadn’t said the same to Rod.
I took Rod’s free hand in both of mine. “It’s what Dev said to me, isn’t it?”
He tipped the beer in my direction. “Give the girl a prize.”
“But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.”
It didn’t mean Dev loved me either. It had been nice to hear, but I didn’t see how it was possible, not really.
Dev loved Rod; a fool could see it.
Dev didn’t even know me.
Rod blew out a breath, his head hanging between his shoulders. “He won’t let himself love me. He won’t. Nothing’s changed.”
“Rod, he’s trying. He just needs to go slow.”
Rod shook his head. “Fact is, I’m not sure I deserve it. Not sure I’m capable of it myself.”
“Why do you say that?”
“You’re my longest relationship, Sky. Aside from whatever it is I have with Dev. And look how I fucked things up between you and me.”
“It’s not your fault—”
He shook his head. “Oh, it is. You were right. I used you to try to get Dev. I was an arsehole. I didn’t care what you wanted, what he wanted. All I cared about was myself.”
“You do care about him.”
“Do I?” He pinned me with his blue eyes. “Shouldn’t I just leave him be? Shouldn’t I just swallow this down and be a big boy and go on with my life?” He drained the beer and placed the bottle between his feet. “If I cared about Dev, shouldn’t I let him live his life the way he wants it?”
“But he does want you.”
“Not enough.”
I rubbed Rod’s hand, and he looked up at me, his eyes a bit glassy, his nose reddening. He blinked furiously and looked away. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse. “And you—Jesus, Sky, I’ve been a right shit to you.”
I touched his cheek, wishing I could take away his pain. Then I smiled. “You have, but I forgive you.” I did my best impression of Rod. “You gobshite.”
He laughed and took my hands in his. “I am a gobshite. And I wish I could start over with you.”
“Maybe you can,” I said, an idea forming. “What if we went on a date?”
He raised an eyebrow. “A date?”
“Yeah. You and me. Spend the day together.”
He smiled. “What’s your fancy for this date?”
I gestured to the reception area of the resort. “They’ve got scooters we can rent. We can go over to the Lagoonarium and feed the fish.”
“And ditch Tony and everyone else?”
I nodded. The last thing we needed was the others around. And we didn’t need Tony if we disguised Rod a bit.
Minutes later, we had our scooter and Rod’s disguise: a pair of reflective aviator sunglasses and a ballcap we’d bought off one of the workers at the canteen.
Rod took the wheel of the scooter and I climbed aboard behind him, putting my arms around him. The s
undress rode up my thighs, so I tried to tuck it under me. He cupped one of my bare knees, then looked back at me. “Ready for our date?” he asked.
I kissed his cheek. “Let’s see what this scooter can do.”
We sped along the coast, a warm wind whipping in our hair as Rod expertly guided us to our destination. It was nice being this close to him, touching him, but not in a sexual way. It was weird to realize we’d rarely touched outside of the bedroom.
And we’d never spent time together that wasn’t about Dev in some way.
We pulled up to the jumping off point for the Lagoonarium and got off the scooter. We’d be met by Lagoonarium staff who’d ferry us from Moorea out to the tiny island of Motu Ahi just off the coast.
While we waited for someone to greet us, Rod stepped in behind me and pulled me close, putting his arms around my waist. He whispered in my ear. “I’m sorry, Sky. I truly am. I started us off on the wrong foot. And that wasn’t fair to you.”
A lump rose in my throat. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.”
Tears blurred my vision, and I was glad he couldn’t see my face. The tears really weren’t about him anyway. At least, not entirely. The wreckage of my past reared its head. I’d never received an apology from Blue or Sunshine. They’d made it clear that I was the one who had to grow up and learn not to be so possessive, like I was a toddler who couldn’t share my toys.
Instead of a woman who’d discovered my best friend and my fiancée fucking behind my back.
The image of the two of them in my bed, the bed I’d shared with no one but Blue, made me shudder and a sob lodge in my throat.
Christ, that was eight years ago. You’d think I’d be over it by now. But I wasn’t, and this business with Rod and Dev was pouring salt in that wound.
Rod turned me in his arms and took off his sunglasses. Then he clasped me to his chest, cupping my neck in his palm. “Ah, love, you’re breaking my heart.” His own voice sounded raw. “I don’t know how to fix this.” He closed his arms tightly around me. “All I know is that I want to.”
I pulled in a breath and relaxed against him. He smelled good, like sunshine and sea air, and something spicy that was all his own.
I wiped at my eyes and looked up at him. “It means a lot that you care.”
He smoothed the hair out of my face where the wind was whipping it around. “I have a confession to make.”
“I’m all ears.”
“I know about the bonus.”
A chill slid down my spine. “What bonus?”
He smirked. “The million-pound bonus I put up to make sure you took the job.”
I stepped back. “What? I thought that was from the label. It was from you?”
He nodded. “I wasn’t sure why you’d left Palm Springs, but when you didn’t answer our calls, I figured you must be upset about something.” He looked away for a second. “And I wondered if you’d figured out my agenda.”
I stared at him until he looked at me again. He held my eyes. “I needed you to help us, Sky. That’s why I put up the bonus. But it’s a bit more than that, if I’m to be honest.”
Anger flared in my stomach, and I crossed my arms. “Please do.”
“I missed you. You’re the only person, the only one besides Dev, I want to spend time with.”
I scoffed. “Come on, Rod. It’s not like there hasn’t been a steady stream of people in your bed and in your life.”
“In my bed, sure.” He caressed my cheeks with his thumbs. “But that’s not what I mean. I mean spend time with. Talk to. Hang out.” He gestured around us. “Go on a date with. God knows I don’t know how to date someone. I’ve never had to. It’s pretty much been ‘Fancy a shag?’ on my part, and then off we go.”
He bent down, his lips inches from mine. “I want to know you, Sky. Really know you.”
I thought he was going in for a kiss, and I stiffened, not sure I wanted to let him off that easily, but still craving the touch all the same.
But he stepped back and slipped on his sunglasses again, and I realized that a couple vehicles had pulled up and people were piling out. It was close to feeding time, the best time to see the fish at the Lagoonarium.
A small boat motored up to the dock and a staff member waved to us.
Rod took my hand. “We’d better get moving.”
I followed him, my mind racing, my feet stumbling along.
I want to know you, Sky. Really know you.
No one had ever said those words to me before. Not even Dev.
And Rod was the last person I’d expected to hear them from.
We boarded the small boat and headed to Motu Ahi and the Lagoonarium. I’d had the place in mind as a possible reward for a challenge, but it felt like a good thing for today, if only to get Rod out of his head.
To get me out of my head.
Rod was still wearing the ball cap and sunglasses, but we’d need to ditch his disguise for snorkel gear. Hopefully no one would recognize him while we were getting ready to enter the water. I’d taken to wearing my bikini under my clothes, and Rod was in a pair of board shorts with an unbuttoned long-sleeved shirt over a tank top, so once we’d reached Motu Ahi and the staff had handed out our snorkel gear, it took us only a few seconds to get ready.
Fortunately, the families around us were so excited about getting to feed the fish that no one took much notice of Rod and me.
We were just a couple, like everybody else.
Except we weren’t.
And yet, Rod put a steadying hand on my lower back and offered me his arm as needed as we stepped over rocks and waded out to the reef, treating me like I was precious.
The water was clear and warm, and fish darted around us, some striped like zebras, others covered in dots, and large gray and white stingrays swooped through the water. Even a turtle or two approached.
We were encouraged to participate in the feeding, getting handfuls of chopped-up fish and holding them out.
Some fish tugged at what I was holding, some nibbled. And then a ray sucked the fish out of my hand, the sensation so peculiar I giggled.
Rod was watching me, his eyes meeting mine. “This was the perfect thing to do today.”
Warmth filled my chest. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”
“I’m glad you are too.”
Another ray whooshed up to me, and I trailed my fingers over its flesh before holding out another chunk of fish.
Small sharks with black-tipped fins cruised past, and black moray eels oozed out of crevices, their jaws working as they snatched at the fish we were offering. We’d been told not to be frightened, but I let go of the fish I’d been holding when an eel came too close.
Rod put his arm around my waist and nuzzled my ear. “This is the most fun I’ve had in a long time.”
We snorkeled for a bit, admiring the brightly colored fish, the diversity of the coral and sea anemones, the lumbering pace of the turtles and the sleek gliding of the rays as they seemed to fly through the water. A few of the Lagoonarium staff demonstrated how to “ride” the largest rays by grabbing onto them and letting them tow you along.
Rod tried it first, and I watched him glide past me, a big grin on his face. Then I tried it.
The ray tugged me through the water, its fins rippling as it glided over the sea floor. Its flesh was firm under my palms, and it seemed unbothered by my presence as it moved along. A fish with bright orange fins darted past my face, startling me, and I lost my grip, scrambling to find my footing among the rocks and trying not to step on the corals. Rod was there in seconds, offering me his arm and helping me stand upright. We rose out of the water, and I swept the hair out of my face, a laugh bursting out of me.
“How about we head back to Moorea and get something to eat?” he suggested.
“Great idea.”
Once we were reunited with the scooter, we zipped up the coast and found an open-air thatched-roof restaurant that had a cluster of vehicles outside.
It felt good to be away from the others, away from the pressure to fix things between Rod and Dev, away from the pressure to secure my future with TI.
“Question time,” Rod said. “Where and when were you happiest?”
“Ever? Or most recently?”
He shrugged. “Whichever. Or both.”
“When I was a kid, I remember how happy I was when my cat, Tiger, had her kittens. Holding those mewling little fluff balls… They were so precious.”
“You love moggies, eh?”
I smiled. “Moggies?”
“Yeah. Cats.”
“You Brits and your silly expressions.”
He puffed out his chest. “Moggie is not an absurd word in the slightest, madame,” he said, his accent going all plummy and “posh,” as he liked to put it.
“And don’t get me started on how ridiculous ‘snog’ is.”
He smirked at me. “Oh, I’d like to. Snog you, that is. And then shag you silly.”
I couldn’t help giggling, even though he looked dead sexy as he leaned over the table. His light brown hair had dried into tousled spikes, and he’d rolled the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows, exposing the cords of muscles and veins that popped out along his tanned forearms.
“Have you ever been in love?” he asked, his voice soft and low.
I picked at the label of my beer bottle. That was a story I didn’t want to tell. Not now. Maybe not ever. “Pass.”
He raised a brow, but didn’t press. “Your turn to ask me something.”
Searching for a topic as far from love as I could get, I looked at the assortment of rings on his fingers. I bet they each had a story behind them. “Tell me about your rings.”
He pointed to the wide black and silver one with Celtic knots that he wore on his right thumb. “Got this on my first trip to Ireland. And this one”—he indicated a thick silver signet ring with a roaring lion in its center—“this one should be obvious.”