by Dana Delamar
“You’re a social media genius,” Daniel said to her and raised his drink. “To Vanessa!”
Daniel, Nigel, and I toasted her, my Tahitian mahana cocktail going down a little too easy. It was my third of the night so far, and it should be my last. But I couldn’t stop hearing Dev say those words. So, this is what? A job to you?
And it wasn’t like Rod had jumped to my defense, was it? And he certainly hadn’t coughed up an “I love you” either when Dev had pushed Rod to tell me how he felt.
No. Rod had said nothing. Because he knew who I really was. And Dev didn’t. Or hadn’t.
But he knew now.
I’d managed to avoid seeing them all day, using my parents as an excuse. And really, they’d flown all this way. Might as well show them a great time while they were here. I could afford it now, right? I’d booked them in for a week at the Hideaway even though they’d protested. They were coming up on their thirtieth anniversary, so I’d told him it was my present, and they’d finally accepted. They’d been invited to the gig, but they were still dealing with jet lag and wanted a quiet night in, so we’d said our goodbyes and I’d left them in Moorea.
When I’d taken them to the Lagoonarium earlier in the day, it had been fun, and I’d loved seeing that the light on their faces when they were surrounded by the fish during feeding time.
But all I could think about was when I’d gone there with Rod. I thought we’d connected that day, that something had changed between us. But that had been wishful thinking.
He had room for only one person in his heart. And that was Dev.
Nigel gently elbowed me. “I’m proposing another toast.” He held up his drink. “To Sky. For doing the impossible. Not only fixing King’s Cross, but making them better.”
Daniel and Vanessa raised their glasses to me and I raised mine, slipping back the dregs of my cocktail. Christ. I should be ecstatic right now. The band sounded fantastic as they tore into their old hits, the new arrangements Dev and Damon had come up with making the songs sound fresh and new, even while the fans chanted the lyrics they knew by heart. The two of the had been switching off on lead guitar, sometimes even playing together at the same time, the band’s sound harder and somehow more emotional, more urgent, as a result.
Nigel leaned toward me. “You’re bloody brilliant, Sky. If you ever want to leave TI, you can have a job at the label as…” He paused, thinking. “A band whisperer.” He grinned lopsidedly. “I don’t know how you got them all working together—mean, I saw what you did, but getting them to actually listen… especially Rod. Lord love him, he’s absolute brilliance on stage, but…” He looked down at his empty pint. “He’s a sodding prick most of the time, to be honest.”
Daniel hooted with laughter. “Don’t hold back, Nigel! Tell us how you really feel.”
Nigel blushed furiously, to the roots of his red hair. “Maybe I need to lay off,” he said, pushing his beer aside.
I gave him a weak smile. “It’s true. But we love him anyway.”
Nigel clasped my shoulder. “Not sure I’d go that far, but he did apologize to me today, so I’m starting to see his appeal. And I’m glad I don’t have to try to replace him. Sonic High and Reeling are over the moon about the demos they’ve heard for the new album. They told me to tell you and Daniel”—he nodded in Daniel’s direction—“that TI has Sonic High’s and Reeling’s business in full, including their next corporate retreats.”
Daniel nudged me from the other side. “Welcome to TI, partner.”
Yay me.
The band wrapped up “Just Friends,” the music stopping for the first time since they’d started. Rod growled into the microphone, and the crowd roared its approval in response.
Rod practically glowed under the stage lights, the blond highlights in his brown hair standing out, his customary dark eyeliner leading him a sinister, predatory look. He’d already stripped off his shirt and leather jacket. His lean, ripped torso gleamed with sweat, his St. Jude’s medallion and the rings on his fingers catching the light. He’d painted his fingernails black for the evening to match his jacket and pants.
Rod was every inch a rock star. No, a rock god, as he strutted across the stage in his skin-tight leather pants and put an arm around Dev, who looked sinfully delicious as well. Dev was in a pair of thigh-hugging distressed blue jeans and a form-fitting white tank top, but he’d shed his stylish black blazer, and his brown skin shone with a golden glow under the spotlights. He didn’t need eyeliner like Rod. His thick eyelashes and chocolate brown eyes drew you in just as they were.
And though Dev didn’t have Rod’s predatory edge, he didn’t need it. Dev just was—a virtuoso guitar player, someone so in tune with his instrument, so in love with the music, that he commanded your attention, caught and held it, without any theatrics.
Dev was a musical genius. When he was onstage in front of a crowd, he came alive in a way that was simply mesmerizing.
My eyes drank them both in, memorizing every detail, my heart filing this moment away. I love them, I truly did, even though I couldn’t have them.
I’d always known that, hadn’t I? That had been why I’d run from them in Palm Springs, why I’d stayed away, even when they’d begged me to call, to text. Something.
And it was why I should have stayed away. Should have shielded my heart from this pain.
This hollow emptiness.
My only consolation as Rod hugged Dev tight was that at least I’d given them this—their band back and each other, as they’d always been meant to be.
And if the cost was my own happiness?
So be it. I’d pay that price. Because seeing them together and happy soothed the ache inside me, just a bit.
I closed my eyes, holding onto this feeling, tears starting to sting my lids. I loved them. I love them so much…
My throat was aching, a sob trying to burst from my chest.
Daniel had warned me. And I hadn’t listened. If only I’d come clean sooner. Maybe then Dev would’ve understood… maybe then Rod would have trusted me. But it was too late now.
Rod spoke into the mic. “I know you’ve all been enjoying the old songs,” he said, and the crowd whistled and cheered. “But now we have some new ones for you—first time anyone, anywhere, will be hearing them.”
A roar went up, and I opened my eyes. Vanessa started a new Facebook live video. “OMG!” she shouted. “Here’s some world-premiere music for you!”
His arm still slung around Dev’s shoulders, Rod spoke again. “We have a very special song we’d like to play for someone who means everything to us.”
He looked over the crowd in front of the stage, his eyes zeroing in on me. “This one’s for you, Sky.”
Vanessa squealed and hugged me, and I tried to smile, but my lips were trembling so hard I couldn’t. All I could do was hold Rod’s gaze as the opening notes of the song started.
My heart was pounding. He’d said I meant everything to them. Did that mean there was still a chance?
I wanted to hope, and yet I didn’t dare. I sucked in a breath, my whole body quivering, and wished I was drunker. Calmer. Anything but the nervous wreck I was now.
Rod held my eyes and started to sing.
You’re just a waif of a girl
But you shook my whole damn world
Though you’re not “just” anything
Oh no, you’re everything
His voice caressed the words so tenderly, so sweetly, his timbre dropping on “everything,” and the ache in my throat intensified. Oh Rod…
The music shifted, moving into the chorus.
You said “no strings”
And I hoped you were lying
You said “no strings”
And I said yes, but inside I was dying
I swallowed hard. Was that really how Rod had felt?
He moved on to the next verse.
The day you came into my life,
You brought along a ray of light
But ever si
nce you up and left
It’s only been eternal night
He sang the chorus again and tears started streaming down my face. Why hadn’t he ever said this to me?
You own my heart
You are my life
Won’t you let me be part
Of your lovely light?
You said “no strings”
And I knew you were lying
You said “no strings”
I said yes but I knew I was dying
Oh I knew I was lying
Oh I knew I was dying
A sob wrenched out of me and I had to bury my face in my hands. Vanessa rubbed my back. “They really love you!” she shouted in my ear as the crowd went wild.
And that was before Rod and Dev jumped off the stage.
The crowd surged around them, but Rod still had the mic in hand, and he said, “Just give us a minute, lovelies, then we’ll be right back with more. There’s a girl out there who needs a proper snogging.”
Cheers went up as he strode toward me, Dev on his heels, and I gasped for breath, trying to get my sobbing under control.
Rod caught me up in his arms, hugging me tight, then he took my face in his palms and kissed me, his lips gentle, yet searing, the touch lighting up every nerve ending in my body. Then Dev leaned in and kissed me as well, and a roar of surprise went up from the crowd.
Rod stroked my cheek. “I’m absolutely shite at talking about how I feel. But I hope the song told you what you need to know.” He took my hand and pressed it to his gleaming chest, his skin slick under my palm, his heart pounding beneath my touch. “I love you, Sky. With every bloody fiber of my miserable being.”
I started to laugh, couldn’t help it, and Dev smiled. “Me too. We both wrote part of the lyrics.” He stroked my cheek, and I trapped his hand with mine.
“Does that mean you forgive me?”
He smiled, his white teeth gleaming against his tan. “Rod told me what happened, filled in the missing bits, and I get it. There’s nothing to forgive.” He elbowed Rod. “Except me for this one’s stupidity.”
A chant of “More! More! More!” was rising in the crowd, and Rod swooped in to kiss my cheek. “Got to go, love.”
Dev kissed my other cheek, and Vanessa whooped as she snapped a picture of us. “This will be perfect for Insta!”
I grabbed the phone. I had to be a running mascara raccoon-eyed disaster by now. “Absolutely not!”
Vanessa gave me a glare that wasn’t entirely fake and then turned to Daniel. “She’s been at TI for all of five minutes, and she’s already bossing me around!”
Daniel laughed, and Rod and Dev loped back onstage. They started in on another song, and my heart finally settled into something like a normal rhythm again.
How lucky was I?
Luckier than I had any right to be.
And tonight I’d make that clear to them. I couldn’t have everything I wanted, but that was okay. I was ready to make the sacrifice I should have already made.
Because Rod and Dev were worth more to me than all the bonuses, all the partnerships in the world.
SKY
With a warm hand on my lower back, Dev ushered me into the suite he was sharing with Rod at our hotel in Papeete. I shivered with excitement and trepidation when Rod closed the door behind us. Watching them perform, hearing the song they’d composed, knowing they’d written it about me, it was all so overwhelming. Earlier in the day, I’d thought for sure our adventure was over, that I’d lost them both. In that moment, I’d regretted accepting Daniel’s deal and coming to Tahiti. Now the only part I regretted was the money and the partnership involved.
I cleared my throat and shifted awkwardly on my high heeled sandals that sank into the plush carpeting. “I have some things to say.” I looked at them both. “Please?”
Dev’s face lost some of its color. He indicated the cozy seating arrangement. “Let’s sit.”
I nodded and perched on the edge of the couch. The guys exchanged a look, and then Rod dropped down on one side of me and Dev on the other. Rod stretched his arm along the back of the couch behind me and crossed his legs at the ankles. His fingers toyed with my hair, and I shivered at the delicious sensation.
“What’s going on, love?” he asked softly.
I reached for his hand. He smiled and gave it to me. When I turned to Dev, he offered me a reassuring smile and gripped the fingers of my other hand. I let out a big breath. “That song you wrote for me, well… It touched me deeply. The truth is, I’ve been in love with the both of you since Palm Springs.”
“Why did you leave us then? Why did you never contact either of us?” Dev asked.
I kept my eyes focused on our joined hands in my lap. “Because I was scared. I saw how much Rod loved you even then, and when I heard you saying you loved him too, all I could think was that history was repeating itself.”
“You’re referring to Green and Rain, was it?” Dev asked.
I laughed. “Blue and Sunshine, but yes.” He gently squeezed my fingers and tears welled in my eyes. “I was the third wheel with them, and that was the last thing I wanted to be with the two of you.”
A tear slid down my cheek. Dev cupped my jaw and whisked it away with his thumb. “You were never a third wheel, Sky.”
Rod leaned into my side and with his arm around my shoulders, tucked me against his chest, and kissed the side of my head. “I felt exactly the same way that first night we were all together here and Dev told you he loved you.”
Dev made a sound in his throat and slid his free arm behind me to bring his hand to Rod’s neck. “I’m so sorry for making you feel that way. It was never my intention. I wanted to say it to you both. I just… couldn’t.”
Rod smiled. “It’s all behind us now.” He kissed my head again. “It’s a good thing our girl was so brave. She put us all back together again.”
I scoffed at that. “Hardly. I really didn’t want to take this job. I didn’t think I could be around either one of you again without all the old feelings coming back.” I raised their joined hands to my chest. “Leaving you in Palm Springs broke my heart.”
Dev kissed the wetness on my cheeks. “Sweets.”
“I knew that if I saw you again, I’d just end up brokenhearted.”
“Why did you take the job then?” Rod asked.
“Honestly? I took it because I couldn’t have lived with myself if I hadn’t taken this opportunity to see each of you”—I turned my head to Rod, then to Dev—“one last time.” I huffed out a laugh. “I guess you’re my drug, and I needed one last fix before going cold turkey and living the rest of my life without you. But I couldn’t admit to myself that that was the reason, so I convinced myself to do it for the money. The bonus and what it could do for my business, and it allowed me to forge an even better deal with Total Indulgence. In a screwed-up way, I justified the insanity of walking into a situation where I knew I’d walk out devastated.”
“But you aren’t walking out devastated, are you?” Dev asked, a smile in his voice.
I grinned. “No, I’m not. But I am going to tell Daniel that I don’t want the bonus or the partnership at TI.”
Rod sat forward sharply. “What’s this?”
“You can’t turn it down, Sky,” Dev added.
“I have to. It just feels wrong to personally gain from this. I’ll keep freelancing.”
“Love, you have to do what’s best for you, but I don’t see how turning down this great opportunity is that.”
My gaze shifted to Dev. He was the one to who’d been hurt the most by my and Rod’s scheming shenanigans. “What do you truly think, Dev? Would you feel better if I turned it all down? I don’t want to cheapen what we feel for each other. I don’t want you to have any doubt why I’m with you.”
Dev glanced at Rod, then touched a finger to my chin. “I understand what you’re saying. But life is like that, isn’t it? Some of my best songs were the result of, let’s call them—unusual—circumstances.
” His eyes twinkled as he glanced over my head at Rod.
Rod snorted. “Are you talking about ‘Watching You, Watching Me’? Now that was one hell of a bash, and a rather revealing one,” he said with a smirk and a wink.
There was a story I’d like to hear someday. Dev’s cheeks colored, but he continued to look into my eyes. “We made a ton of money off that tune. Anyway, you do what’s right for you, but for my part, I take no offense to you profiting from this. In fact, it makes me happy, because this whole fucked-up mess brought you back into our lives. And for that I could never be sorry.”
He took my mouth, his tongue gently licking my lips. When I sighed and opened for him, he continued his gentle exploration. He caressed every corner of my mouth before brushing his tongue against mine. We parted as gently as we’d come together. The tenderness of that kiss brought on a fresh wave of tears.
“I love you, Dev,” I said.
He smiled. “I love you too.”
“Hey now,” Rod kissed the corner of my mouth. “I want in on this too.”
His tongue swiped at my already wet lips. We both groaned, and when I opened my mouth, Rod and Dev both licked and kissed me at the same time. Their tongues entwined with mine and with each other’s. My heart swelled at the perfection of the moment.
“I love you, Rod,” I said.
“Love you too, Sky. Both of you, so fucking much.”
I looped my arms behind their necks and pulled them in tight. “I never thought I’d have you both like this. You’ve made me the happiest woman in Tahiti.”
“Only in Tahiti?” Dev teased.
“Okay, the world!”
“Now you’re talking,” Rod said. “But I do have a bone to pick with you, missy.”
I arched a brow and focused on his groin. “A bone, huh?”
“Naughty poppet,” he said with a mock glare.
“Okay, what’s this bone about?” I wanted to finish up with the talking so I could be with my two men again, so we could be with each other.