“Okay.” He smiled. It pleased him she was willing to try and ride. “I’ve got a helmet if you’d like.”
“I trust you.”
“Trust is usually not issue, wind is.”
“Getting a little tangled never hurt anyone,” she replied.
His mind twisted the words the way he suddenly wanted his sheets with her. He settled on the bike and waited for her to get on behind him.
After she straddled the bike and found the back foot bars she wrapped her arms around him he started the engine.
Dell indicated she wasn’t a fan of the MC, but the way she mounted his bike and held tight she might be softening to the idea of motorcycles. Lord knows, her soft body felt good on the back of one.
When Meadow stepped into the restaurant, her skin crawled and instantly she was uncomfortable with what was happening on the stage. Dancers were stripping on platforms with poles in the middle. She’d never been to a place like this before. Tightening the wrap around her chest, she suddenly felt exposed. Damn, she should have kept Freaky’s hoodie on, the smell of man when she first zipped it closed, set off a few too many hormones through her body.
Following Freaky, they made their way toward a booth in the back of the restaurant. They were away from the dancers, so it was a little easier to get comfortable.
“Where did you live before you came here?” Freaky asked.
“I live in New Mexico, near Albuquerque.”
“How did you like it down there?” Freaky opened up the menu and handed it to her.
Meadow took the menu, but stayed focused on him and tried to avoid seeing the woman with her feet up in the air. “I love it. Unfortunately, it seems I’m going to be leaving there.”
“Tell me what happened.”
“I live—lived with my boyfriend, Clive, for the past four years.”
“What does he do?”
“Depends on the day really. He welds when there’s a job, but it’s not steady work.” She finally glanced at the menu
“That’s not what I hear,” Freaky said. “High demand because people aren’t really doing things with their hands anymore.”
“I guess. He gets let go a lot. Picks up odds and end construction jobs.” She let out a little sigh, not wanting to really talk about her life with Clive, but Freaky seemed so sincere.
The waitress walked over and smiled. “Can I take your order?”
“I’d like the trout dinner with steamed vegetables,” Meadow said. “And a glass of water, with lemon, to drink please.”
“Steak, mashed potatoes and a salad with ranch dressing.” Freaky finished his order by getting a beer to drink. “Now back to our conversation. Why would you put up with a man doing that for four years?” Freaky smiled gently.
“Doing what?”
“Lying to you about his job,” he replied. “It’s one thing to embellish, but he was straight out lying to you.”
She was thankful he wasn’t bringing up the bruises. “I suppose. It wasn’t always bad. He had his good days too. I stuck around because it was easier than listening to his threats if I ever left him.”
“What kinds of threats?” Freaky’s voice had a bit more bass to it than before.
Now, she wondered if she should even say.
“Meadow, what would he say to you?”
“At first, he would threaten to hurt himself. Like he couldn’t live without me.”
Freaky shook his head.
“I was flattered, being so important. My breath was his.”
“The first time he told you that, what had you packing your things?”
Her eyes widened at Freaky’s comment. How had he known? Was it so basic and simple he’d heard the ploy time and time again? Meadow tried to slip back to that day. A number of fights muddled together and she tried to remember the good. What she was holding on to and all she saw was him drunk, crying on the floor as he knelt before her.
“He was drunk,” she said. “Acting a bit manic about losing a job.”
“Did he hit you?” he asked and she noticed Freaky had pushed his beer to the side. “Hold your arm a bit too tight.”
“Not that time,” she admitted. “It’s gradual. The abuse. Little things that if I just did this or that, it could have been avoided.”
“Those are the lies we tell ourselves,” Freaky said. “Like people saying if only someone would have accepted Hitler at art school. Or if the girls in high school would have been nicer to Ted Bundy. The monster lives and breathes and no one can stop it from coming out.”
Meadow’s mind tripped along years with him, other men, her own father. Thoughts of if only a woman had said yes, or this person would have given a kid a high five in a hallway would have stopped a school shooting. Was Clive a man who couldn’t stop? “Because he was out of work so much I had nowhere to go until I met Dell. My money was our money and it was used to pay—” Why would she be ashamed of the trailer she shared with him? Wasn’t she in one now? “She really saved my life.” Meadow didn’t know where she’d be if it hadn’t been for the MC and Dell. Clive’s rage was more than she’d been able to calm in the past.
A woman came over to the table. She was dressed in short shorts and a tank top. “Hi there Freaky. I’ve come to give you that dance I promised you.” She sat on the side of the booth and wrapped her arm like a snake backward around his neck. Her body arching backward her face in faux pleasure touching him.
Meadow couldn’t believe it. She was upset because this woman didn’t give two hoots in hell that she was even sitting across from him.
“Porsche, maybe this isn’t a good time. I have a lady here as my guest.” Freaky unlatched her arm and gently nudged her from the booth.
She turned placing a knee on the cushioned seat, the high heel pointing like a dagger into the sky. “You sure?” she cooed a bit.
Freaky’s eyes cut to another woman smiling as she leaned along the bar. “Yeah, I’m sure,” he said then stuck a rather large bill between her breasts.
Satisfied, the woman stood and began to turn.
Meadow was relieved he seemed to be sensitive of her feelings towards all of this, but still wondered where the boundaries were with these women. “Why do you dance?”
Porsche stopped and stared down at her. “Excuse me?”
Meadow regretted her question right after she asked it. It was none of her business why these women did what they did here. But how could they dance in front of all these people? More why would she think it was okay to start dancing on a man when he was clearly with someone else? “I wondered why you dance?”
“I guess it was easier for me to let a man stick twenty dollars in my G-string then it is for him to hold a knife to my throat while pledging some sick twisted version of love to me. That’s why I choose to dance.” Porsche smiled at her.
“I’m sorry.” Meadow couldn’t believe the answer she had gotten from the woman. Part of her wondered who’d hurt her so bad, but then she didn’t know where her questions were coming from. “Why don’t you sit down and join us?”
“Freaky probably wouldn’t like that. New is always better than—”
“I don’t mind. Porsche have a seat. It sounds like Meadow has lots of questions for you.” Freaky took a sip of beer. “Besides, that dance would have lasted about ten minutes and I did pay you.”
Porsche gave him a little glare.
Meadow scooted over and let the dancer sit down beside her in the booth. “I do have lots of questions. Where are you from?”
“I moved up here from New Mexico. I hear that’s where you’re from too.”
“Yes. I lived there all my life.” Meadow wanted to know about Porsche and this lifestyle, but wasn’t sure how to phrase her questions to not sound demeaning.
“Well, I lived there most of my life too. I had an abusive boyfriend until I found the Steel MC. They took me in for a while. When Red started this charter, I had the opportunity to leave New Mexico and come to Montana. My ex was still making
it difficult for me to be off the compound, so it made sense. Besides, I knew Red and he was a good man, so I wasn’t worried about where I was going. It was hard leaving, but I’m glad I did.”
“That’s why I left too. Well, not officially I’m still—.” Meadow wondered how similar their lives could really be. Was Porsche on a parallel path?
“Meadow here is taking stock of her situation.”
“Oh, I did that a few times,” Porsche said. “Clive hit me all the time, so when I left him he threatened to kill himself. Me, hell, if I would have had a dog I’m sure he would have gone after it too.”
“Did you say Clive?” Meadow was sure there were probably more than one Clive in New Mexico, and more than one that hit is girlfriend, but still.
“Yes. That was my boyfriend’s name Clive.” Porsche frowned.
“My boyfriend’s name is—was Clive too. What is his last name?”
“Strand.”
“Oh, my God. How long ago did you leave him?” Meadow couldn’t believe it. “Your Clive is mine?”
“Over six years now.” Porsche grabbed hold of her hand and squeezed. “It can’t be the same man, can it?”
“It has to be.” Meadow was upset and dug out her phone, flipping through pictures hoping to find one that might actually have him in it. He hated them so much, but she knew she had one from a happy time with the two of them.
Porsche’s body stiffened when Meadow showed her a picture of the two of them smiling. “Well, I can understand why you chose to move up here and away from him. He’s dangerous and will kill you if you left him. Trust me, I spent a week in the ICU after he tried with me, but I couldn’t remember, brain injury. He wiped that and about two months out of my head. They let him out with a simple battery charge after a year.”
“He played on my sympathies,” Meadow said ashamed. “How his girlfriend lied. He didn’t have much beside the trailer his daddy left him when he died.”
“I paid for that piece of shit and signed it over to him when he needed collateral for a car.” Porsche shook her head then retrieved the bill Freaky had stuck in her bra, sliding it across the table to him, Meadow was a bit shocked at seeing a fifty. “Meadow, I’m glad you’re safe and living with us now. Freaky we’re even.”
Porsche was right and Meadow knew it. She was worried he would find her. But if he hadn’t found Porsche then it was safe to say maybe she could escape him. Only he had a year in jail to cool off and he’d found her.
“If you’ll excuse me I need to get back to work. It was nice to meet you Meadow.”
A text lit up her phone and she knew there was no going back.
“You okay?” Freaky asked, seeing the obvious terror, then avoidance in Meadow’s eyes as she flipped her phone screen-side down.
“You always pay fifty dollars a dance?” she replied, avoiding the elephant sitting upside down next to her cutlery.
“No, my mouth ran a bit too much and the Hoez are mad at me.”
“I’d be mad at being called a Hoez.” Meadow’s lips surrounded the straw in her water as she sipped.
“Hoez is a sign of respect, I know women who accept a worse name with nothing behind it.”
“All the women that work here are part of the club?”
“Mostly, we have a few people from town or nearby.” Freaky took a sip of his beer, though he didn’t want Meadow to confuse him with the drunk son of a bitch who used her as a punching bag. “What did you do today? Did you talk to anyone?”
“At breakfast. Dell likes to keep me close, but I had wanted to explore. Didn’t really get to do that in Colorado or along the trip.”
Their food arrived, this time the waitress, Zoe, didn’t linger, in fact he noticed the women weren’t watching him anymore. Maybe he’d gotten a real reprieve.
“Got a bit lost, but eventually I found my way back,” she said.
“That’s a good sign,” he replied. “The ranch is pretty big.”
“Maybe tomorrow, I’ll wake up early if the sky is clear. Though I don’t have any paints, so it’d probably be a waste.”
“You’re not always behind a camera then?”
“Not always,” she replied poking a bit at the steamed veggies.
“We’re better with meat then veggies,” he admitted.
A loud group rolled through the door, making Meadow jump.
Freaky had full view of the Nevada men and women rolling into the bar. He gave Lynch a quick glance and used his knife to signal not to approach.
The man passed the word along and soon the tables around the stage filled.
“Is it always so loud?” Meadow bristled.
“Not always,” Freaky said slicing off a bite of steak. “But hard work requires a little decompression. A long ride does too. Nevada just showed up.”
“More people. Do people need rooms in the trailer?”
“No,” Freaky lied. “The trailer is—”
“For rescues, then why did you say Lil’ Mama and Cass lived there?” Meadow’s jaw tightened and her fingers wrapped tightly around the knife and fork.
“Lil’ Mama was a rescue. Came here knocked up with a busted leg that almost killed her.” Freaky shook his head. “I joined up about a month after she arrived, but her ex came for her.”
“And the baby—wait doesn’t Lil’ Mama have twins?”
“She and Cass do, and a new little one.”
“Oh, she lost the baby then?”
Meadow’s confusion had Freaky smiling.
“Or was she cheating with Cass?” she asked.
“Neither, for an artist you have a very narrow view of how the world should be.”
“So the twins aren’t his by blood?” She stared at him.
“He might fight you for even thinking that.” Freaky decided to let her off the hook. “Those kids have never known another daddy, and never will.”
“The boyfriend gave them up then?”
“We protected her.” Even Freaky was surprised by the way his voice deepened at the memory of one of the worst days on the ranch. “And she protected herself too.”
Meadow’s lips formed a thin line at this.
He reached across the table to cover her hand with his. Hers was cool to the touch, but it didn’t stop the surge running up his arm. “You’re safe, especially this week, but even after the wedding. If you want to stay you can, if you want to move on you can. This is a place where you can breathe and reset.”
She leaned back against the bench of the booth and stared at him. Her eyes no longer glossed over with optimism or vitriol. Not this time. This time, she was tired. “I don’t even remember how to,” she admitted. “I’ve been holding my breath for so long, I forgot what it could be like.”
“Heard it’s kinda natural,” he said then the spotlight swung around the room as a new dancer took to the stage. The harsh white light blinding him a bit right after it passed her arm. Bruising was still evident on her lithe arm and he wondered how a man could do that to a woman. Especially, one who’s hand could wrap around more than once. “If you need help I’ll give you my number, pass me your phone I can program it.”
She glanced at the case, splattered with paint and shook her head. Whatever was on there had her frightened.
He never wanted to see that kind of fear on a woman’s face. “What did he say?”
“It doesn’t matter, they turned off my GPS or something,” she replied, tucking her phone into the purse she had across her body.
“Meadow, sweet or sour, his words are affecting you.”
“Sour,” she replied. “And hurtful in so many ways. He’s in pain.”
“And,” he replied not giving three fucks about the prick.
“We’ve been together—”
“And,” he said cutting her off. “I look at claimed women here, the men falling more in love with them every day.”
“Clive loves me.”
“And even when they frustrate the fuck out of them, at most the men take a st
ep away. Ride a bike, then come back and make love to them until the sun comes up.”
“He doesn’t have a bike.”
“He doesn’t need one,” Freaky said a bit pissed off even though he’d seen it over and over again, when it came to the abused women they helped. Yes, they knew it was bad and yes they wanted help, but there was always that little bit of them the asshole held onto.
“I’m not a victim.”
“No, you were a willing participant. Doesn’t mean it was right.” Freaky ran his fingers through his hair and leaned back on the bench. “I’m sorry, this is why we pay for the women to talk with a shrink. For me it’s simple. He put his hands on you, he deserves one or three of us to return the favor. Now, I’m going to owe you a second dinner.”
“I’m gonna gain fifty pounds if you keep being an asshole.”
“Maybe I should get them to change my nickname.” He smiled.
“Or maybe I should know your real one,” she replied. “Freaky is an asshole, but is…” She spun her fork like she was twisting spaghetti and pulling his name from his lips.
“Chris—Christopher Anderson.”
“Is Christopher an asshole or a gentleman?”
“Last I knew, he was a failure in all ways possible.”
“Now, that I don’t believe.”
“Yeah, well take off the glasses Meadow my dear and see the world for what it really is.”
She glanced down at her now empty plate and set her utensils to the side. “If I let myself do that I’d probably curl up in a ball and never come out.” Her voice went low as a shiver trembled its way up her spine. “Besides, there’s too much beauty to focus on the bad things in the world. And I can capture it.”
“But can you hold on to it?”
8
Meadow woke before sunrise and gathered her camera. She couldn’t paint the sunrise, but she could capture it and paint it later. Though, she had to admit there was something about free painting that took her away. Fresh air, at times she might strip down to practically nothing to allow all her senses to capture the moment. But she wasn’t going to go topless here. Beyond the temperature there had to be close to two hundred bikes around the place.
Dreamer: Book 7 of The Steel MC Montana Charter Page 8