by Darcy Burke
Only he didn’t want that. Not with her. He realized he’d met Nora the day after he’d taken Isabelle.
Isabelle watched him for a moment, her expression turning from one of enticement to confusion. She abruptly stood and went to the sideboard, where she poured herself a glass of whisky. “Do you need a refill?” she asked.
Titus looked at his nearly empty glass on the table. “Yes, thank you.”
She sauntered toward him with the decanter and filled the glass. When she was back at the sideboard, she turned toward him, cradling her glass. She seemed to study him intently before taking a sip. “Something’s wrong. You don’t want me, I think. And yet you did. What happened? Did you meet someone else?”
He didn’t hesitate before answering. “Yes.”
She pursed her lips. “I see. As it happens, I had other interested gentlemen. I am certain I could find another protector. Tell me, who is the hussy so I can spill my Madeira on her when next we meet?”
He nearly laughed at the venom in her tone. Courtesans could be vicious in their pursuit of a protector. “No, it isn’t like that. She’s not…like you.”
Her eyes widened briefly, and she walked back to the settee, where she sat down again. “When you hired me, you demanded absolute secrecy about our relationship, including anything we discussed. I took the vow that I gave you very seriously. Do you wish to talk about her?”
He supposed he did. He’d come here in the hope that he might frig Isabelle senseless, but he didn’t want to. No, when he thought of the woman he wanted to make love to tonight, it wasn’t his mistress.
He cleared his throat. “Her name is Nora. She has, ah, captured my attention.”
“How lovely for her. She must be over the moon to have snagged a duke.”
He frowned. “It isn’t like that. She is my stepmother’s ward.”
Isabelle’s mouth formed an O. “She’s quite young, then?”
“No, she’s actually not.” He wasn’t sure of her precise age, but thought she was probably twenty-seven or twenty-eight. “In fact, she’s older than you.”
Isabelle’s elegant blond brows climbed. “Indeed? How on earth did she come to be your mother’s ward?”
He took a long pull on his whisky. “The details do not signify. Suffice it to say there are…reasons I cannot pursue her.”
“Bah. You’re a duke. The Forbidden Duke. Perhaps the most untouchable peer in the realm. You can pursue anyone you damn well please.”
Her use of the word untouchable made him think of Nora. With that one word, she’d perfectly captured the not-so-subtle hierarchy within the ton. It was a hierarchy he despised, for it allowed him and his ilk to do what Isabelle had just said—anything they damn well pleased. While at the same time, it prevented people such as Nora from doing what they wanted. And it wasn’t just social position dictating their roles—it was, of course, their sex. In his youth, Titus had exploited all of it—his position, his masculinity, his power.
To Nora’s detriment.
“I can’t pursue her.”
Isabelle sipped her whisky. “Can’t or won’t? I still maintain you can do whatever you please. Any woman would be thrilled to have your attention.” Her gaze dipped to his groin. “Whether you had a title or not.”
Her delicate innuendo wasn’t lost on him, but it didn’t apply in this case. He finished off his whisky with a long swallow and stood. “It was a mistake for me to come here.”
She also stood, depositing her glass on the low table between them as she did so. “Where are you going?”
He hadn’t thought that far. Part of him wanted to hunt down all the men who’d clogged Nora’s dance card tonight and thrash them. Of course he wouldn’t. Besides, he’d already drawn enough notice by going to that damned ball in the first place. Why had he done that? Because he’d wanted to see Nora. Needed to. After their kiss, he’d been utterly consumed with thoughts of her.
Isabelle came around the table and stood before him. She touched his chest, gingerly at first, then pressing her palm against his coat. “You could stay.”
He put his hand over hers and gently guided it away from him. “Thank you, but no. I think you should take a new protector. I’ll take care of you until you find one.”
She pouted, but in a thoroughly attractive fashion, as if she’d perfected the expression through years of practice. “I would rather keep you.”
“I’m afraid that is not an option. I am sorry.” He moved away from her and walked to the doorway to the hall.
“I’m sorry too. She’s a lucky woman.”
He almost laughed. She’d been anything but. Until now. Now, she was cresting a wave that would see her settled in the life she’d always wanted. A life he wouldn’t be a part of.
Nora couldn’t sleep. She ought to be in the arms of Morpheus, but her brain simply wouldn’t turn off. She kept replaying her time at the ball with Titus. And their kiss.
She crept downstairs to the library to find a book. Maybe that would help her relax.
The opposite happened as she opened the door and froze. Titus was standing in front of the bookshelves, a glass of whisky dangling from his fingertips.
He looked at her standing on the threshold, and his eyes dipped over her. The perusal was slow, deliberate, intoxicating. “Good evening again, Miss Lockhart.”
“What are you doing here?” she blurted and immediately damned her loose tongue for the thousandth time. “I’m sure it’s none of my concern. I’ll leave you to it.” She turned, but felt the air shift. Then his hand was on her arm.
“Stay.” He often spoke in single words, yet managed to color them with such inflection that they carried far more meaning. Or so her fanciful mind believed. He said, “Stay,” but she heard warmth and something more—something beyond a simple invitation. Something akin to what she felt: need.
She tilted her head and looked down at where his fingers caressed the sleeve of her night robe. She realized she was barely garbed. This was beyond scandalous.
She turned toward him. “I should not.”
He shrugged. “No one will know.” He glanced down at the glass in his other hand. “Would you care for a drink?”
She looked up into his eyes. “That is hardly appropriate.”
“Nothing about this is, so why should we care?” He gently tugged her farther into the room and then left her briefly to close the door. No, there was absolutely nothing appropriate about any of this. She ought to leave, but she simply couldn’t. She wanted this moment for herself. Certainly she’d earned it.
“Whisky?” she asked.
“Yes.” He went to the sideboard. “Is that all right, or would you prefer sherry?”
Sherry was the more feminine choice, but she’d sampled whisky with her father a time or two. “I should say sherry, but I believe I’ll take whisky.”
He chuckled. She loved that sound. Not just because it was a delicious blend of dark and intoxicating but because she was fairly certain he didn’t do it in front of most people. She’d somehow breached his outer wall. It was a singular thrill.
He handed her the glass, and their fingers briefly touched. Their eyes connected, but that was also far too brief. He went back to the bookshelf. “To answer your question, I came to get a book.”
She sipped from the glass and stifled a sputter as the fiery liquid burned over her tongue and awakened her senses. “You don’t have books?”
He turned to look at her. “Of course I do. I’ve simply read them all.”
“All of them?”
He gestured toward the bookshelf. “And unfortunately nearly all of these.”
“What of your library at Lakemoor? Have you read all of those too?”
“Not quite. It’s rather extensive. You should see it sometime.”
How she’d love that, and it had nothing to do with her passion for books. She wanted to see his home. “I would like that. Perhaps I will find a reason to come.”
“I just gave you one.�
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Her lips curved up as she stared at him in bemusement. “You seem to think people can do whatever they want, whenever they want. Life is, unfortunately, not that simple or straightforward for most people.”
His eyes narrowed briefly. “No, I suppose it is not. My apologies. You are welcome to visit at any time.” He turned back to the bookshelf and set his glass on the edge in front of a particularly thick tome.
She hadn’t meant to upset him. “I should like that—doing anything I choose. I could almost do that in St. Ives. No one much cared what I did, and that was rather liberating.”
He kept his back to her. “I would imagine so after being in London. Young women such as yourself are scrutinized in a horrid fashion.”
She joined him at the bookshelf. “So are forbidden dukes. It makes one conclude that London, or rather Society, is the problem.”
He glanced down at her. “Just so. You would enjoy independence? But of course you would. What fool wouldn’t?”
It was her turn to laugh. “I actually think several of the women I met in my earlier Seasons would not. I’m not sure they would know what to do with themselves.”
Now he pivoted. He leaned his shoulder against the bookshelf. His gaze caressed her, and she had to fight the urge to sway toward him. “But you would. Tell me.”
Nora took another sip of whisky. Happily, this swallow went down much more smoothly. “If I could do anything I chose?” At his nod, she continued. “I’d live in the country. I do enjoy some of London’s attractions—the museum, for one—but I shouldn’t like to be here all of the time. A village would be nice. I adore market days.”
“Would you live alone?” He seemed to be genuinely interested.
“I’m not above wanting at least one retainer. Perhaps a married couple—a woman to help with the house and kitchen, and her husband to help with the land and maintenance.”
“You’ve thought this through,” he said.
She smiled, enjoying this conversation. Enjoying him. “Just now, actually.”
“Besides your retainers, would there be anyone else? A husband, perhaps? I thought that was what you wanted.”
She’d thought so too, but now that it seemed within her grasp, she wasn’t sure. She kept thinking of her sister. “My sister married the local vicar. She’s happy enough, but I don’t think she’s content.” Nora shook her head. “I daresay that makes no sense.”
“On the contrary, I understand you perfectly. You don’t want to follow in her footsteps. If you’re going to marry, you’d like more.”
He did understand. “I think I might be too old for this endeavor after all. I feel like a bit of an ingrate. Lady Satterfield has been so kind and generous.”
The space between them grew smaller. She realized he’d inched forward.
“You mustn’t think of it like that. My stepmother will not want you to do anything you don’t wish. If you’ve changed your mind about taking a husband, you must tell her.”
Nora was having a hard time focusing on their conversation. His proximity was playing merry hell with her ability to concentrate. “I haven’t changed my mind exactly. I just think that I’d rather remain unwed than marry the wrong person.”
“You are a wise woman, Nora.” He closed his eyes briefly and when they reopened, the green was so sharp and brilliant that Nora nearly blinked. “My apologies, Miss Lockhart. I didn’t mean to overstep.”
She nearly invited him to do just that, but caught herself before the words tumbled out. She was a bit surprised by her success, since she felt as though she’d fallen into a trance. One she didn’t particularly want to emerge from.
“You promised to tell me how you ignore everyone,” she said. “Will you tell me now?”
He arched a brow. “It’s a well-guarded secret—the very core of my reputation as the Forbidden Duke.” He rolled his eyes, shocking her with his behavior. He seemed so…accessible. Not forbidden at all. “It’s a nonsensical name.”
“But somehow dashing just the same. We want what we can’t have, do we not? Calling you forbidden makes you desperately appealing.”
He leaned even closer. “Does it?”
Nora’s breath was trapped in her chest. Her skin felt aflame. Desire and need pooled in her belly. She managed to keep herself very still despite the riot going on inside of her. “Yes.”
“Then for you, I shall be forbidden.”
Any prayer she had for keeping her inappropriate thoughts to herself completely fled. “That’s a shame, for I was hoping you might kiss me again.”
“I was hoping you would ask.” He didn’t hesitate before his mouth claimed hers. Where he’d gone slowly before, this was much different. His lips were insistent, his tongue seeking immediate entrance. She opened for him and went to clasp his shoulders, but realized she still held her whisky glass.
He seemed to read her mind as his fingers wrapped around hers for a brief moment. He took the glass from her, and she heard a soft clack as he set it on the bookshelf.
His arms came around her waist, and he pulled her flush against his body. Her night rail and night robe were scant protection against the heat and weight of his frame. But she didn’t want protection. On the contrary, she wanted to feel him naked against her. She touched his chest and ran her hands up his coat until she found his bare flesh above the collar of his shirt. She curled her fingers around his nape, threading through the silky ends of his hair.
His tongue licked deep into her mouth. Sensation careened through her, sending heat to that space between her legs. No man had ever been closer to her, but it wasn’t close enough. She tugged at his hair and pushed into him.
He squeezed her waist, kissing her almost savagely. But oh, it was so wonderful. She’d never imagined such a rush of pleasure, such a bone-deep need.
Suddenly he was gone, stepping back from her. “Nora, this is not a good idea.” He stared at her, his lips parted, his breathing ragged.
It was a terrible idea, of course. There were so many reasons she should run upstairs, not the least of which was the fact that he was her benefactress’s son or that history could very well repeat itself. Except, this felt different. Haywood had misled her, deceived her. With Titus, this felt…right even though Society would damn her for being wrong. “You are, unfortunately, correct. It doesn’t matter that I want you—and I do, quite fervently.”
She felt no shame, even though Society said she ought. She did, however, feel the pressure of propriety, and that was why she should go. Regardless, her feet were lead, and her mind was tethered to this moment.
His eyes were dark with what she was certain was lust, but also wary. “You are tempting me beyond a man’s rational thought.”
“I fear my logic fled right around the time you said that you would be forbidden for me. I want what I can’t have, Titus. Yes, I’m going to call you Titus if you are to call me Nora.”
“It doesn’t look or sound as if either one of us is leaving.”
Their gazes locked, holding them in place as if they still embraced. Nora couldn’t bring herself to compare this to her foolishness nine years ago. Then, she hadn’t fully considered the consequences, nor had she experienced this depth of desire or emotion. “I can’t seem to drag myself away.”
She wanted to be like him, not to care what anyone thought. But could she really throw her future away to spend this night with this man? The words fell out of her mouth as soon as they rushed into her head: “No one will know.”
He blinked at her. “What’s that?”
“I said, no one will know. What we choose to do here… No one will know. The entire staff is upstairs asleep, save the footman, who is probably asleep at his post after letting you in.” She wouldn’t be ruined. Her future could be secure—after everything he’d done for her, she trusted him to ensure that. She repeated herself, but this time with the edge of a query. “No one will know.”
He shook his head, and his eyes burned with intense promise. “Never.�
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“Except us,” she said softly, a warm anticipation spreading over her as she made her decision. “I should like for you to stay. Here. With me. And…continue. I am no longer the green girl I was, and I’m aware of the risk I am taking. I don’t know what my future holds. I want this night. I want you.” She trembled with excitement and apprehension. Would he think ill of her? Worse, would he deny her?
“Nora, are you certain? There are things—”
She moved swiftly to the door and turned the lock, thankful that it even had one. Then she stepped toward him and put her finger on his lips. “Shh. I don’t wish to speak of them now. I have no expectations of you beyond this night. I’ll understand if your honor demands you take your leave, but I would much rather you stay.”
He wrapped his hand around hers, drawing her fingertip from his mouth. “What is honor when compared with this gift? You can have me. But it’s your choice. I want you to wield that power.”
Oh God, she did.
He unbuttoned his coat with slow, meticulous flicks of his thumb and fingers. He peeled the garment from his shoulders and tossed it to the chair. Then he repeated the act with his waistcoat. When his fingers tugged at his cravat, his gaze turned even darker, and the pupils grew larger. Watching him pull the neck cloth away, exposing the flesh of his throat, she felt like the most powerful woman in the world. This man was hers for the taking.
She’d claim this scrap of independence, of supremacy, and wield it. For the past nine years. For the future and whatever it would bring.
For herself.
She untied the sash at her waist and shrugged the night robe to the floor. Taking a deep breath, she pulled the night rail over her head in a single, rapid movement lest she lose her courage. “Show me what to do.” She looked him in the eye, and for a moment, desire stretched between them, became a palpable thing. She held her breath.
“You are beautiful.” He took a step toward her, his gaze moving over her with predatory intent.