“You can’t… Theo, no…”
“I’m serious, Skye.”
He moves in front of me, and I can’t take my eyes off him because I can’t believe he’s saying this. And Gabriel and Phil and anyone else who’s listening in to this conversation… Another wave of nausea floods me as I realize how big this mess has actually become. I’m deceiving Theo, in a terrible way, and I know he shot a man – I know he did that, but his world is as fucked up as mine is now, and I hate doing this to him. He had a chance to get away, to start again, to put all the shit behind him, and yet I’m the one who has to make sure he can never do that.
“Theo, I… I can’t. You know I can’t.”
“Who says you can’t? Come on, Skye, don’t tell me a brand new start doesn’t excite you?”
“Of course it does, I just…” I drop my gaze and run a hand through my hair. “I just want to get tonight over with, OK?” I look back up at him, and his eyes are so sad, and that breaks my heart. “Why would you want to touch me, after Cole Rockwell’s had his filthy hands all over me? Why would anyone want to touch me, after what I’m being made to do?”
“This is my fault. If I didn’t need… It’s my fault, Skye, that you have to do this.”
I shake my head, I don’t want him to say that. I don’t want him to say anything. And I’d almost forgotten he still had hold of my hand, but when he squeezes it tight I close my eyes as he rests his forehead against mine, and it’s one of those moments when everything just seems to stop, when it feels like time has actually stood still and all I can hear is our breathing. And then he kisses me, and I slide a hand around the back of his neck and I push him down onto me, kissing him back, kissing him harder, I need the distraction.
“Spend the day with me tomorrow, Skye. Just you and me, before all this shit kicks off. One more day of… I dunno. Of normal?”
I gently stroke the back of his neck, and I try to smile but it’s hard, to smile, when it’s the last thing I feel like doing. I mean, what the hell is normal now, anyway? “What if Cole won’t let me go?”
“Don’t say that, Skye, please. He isn’t… he can’t…”
“He can do anything, Theo. Anything he wants.”
He pulls me into his arms and I hold onto him, I don’t really want to let go. And I want to spend the day with him, I do. I want to start distancing myself from Gabriel and whatever the hell I’m feeling for that man, because I need to do that. I can’t be close – can’t let myself get close to anyone now. That’s the price I have to pay.
“You might want to let her go, brother.”
Cole’s voice rips through me like the sickest of sounds, and Theo immediately steps back from me. And when Cole’s eyes meet mine I feel that icy shiver return, and I wrap my arms around myself because, even though it’s warm tonight, my skin is cold.
“I’ll see you inside, darlin’.”
He winks and throws me a leering grin before he walks into the clubhouse, and I close my eyes again and take a minute to get my head together.
“We’re throwing you to the fucking wolves.”
Theo’s voice makes me open my eyes, and I look at him. But he’s still focused on Cole’s retreating figure.
“It has to be this way, Theo. If you want Dom to be free.”
But even as I say the words I know that, either way, that probably isn’t going to happen. The only person who could stand to gain anything from any of this is Cole. And I have no idea how he plans to win this shitty game, but however he’s playing it, it’s not going to end well. Could I change that? If I spoke out? Told someone what’s happened? I should do that, I should talk to Gabriel, but another wave of fear smashes into me and I know I can’t. I can’t say anything. I’m too scared of what might happen if I do. And I’m scared of what’s going to happen if I don’t.
Theo finally pulls his gaze away from Cole and drops his head, his hands dug deep in his pockets. “I can’t believe this is the person I became.” His voice is barely a whisper and I just want to yell and scream at him to run, to get out of here, to save himself because nobody else is going to do that. Nobody else can. But I can’t do that. I can’t say anything, because Gabriel’s listening. So many people are listening.
“I’d better get inside.”
He looks up at me and he comes over and he plants the lightest of kisses on my parted lips. “I’m so sorry, Skye.”
“Yeah. Aren’t we all.”
Gabriel
Jesus fucking Christ!
“You don’t think…?”
Phil looks at me, and I shrug. “What? You think she’s actually gonna do something as stupid as take him up on that offer? She doesn’t want to run forever, Phil. And why the hell would she jeopardize the chance of a new life, huh?”
“Because she has feelings for him?”
I laugh, I can’t help it. But Phil just looks at me, his eyes widening.
“What’s so funny? I mean, we heard them fucking the other night, maybe the relationship’s moved on a bit since then.”
“She’s not stupid, Phil. Besides, have we heard anything to suggest that’s the case?”
He jerks his head at the laptop, and I listen, and I hear kissing… they’re kissing? I can’t fucking do this…
“You still think she feels nothing for the guy?”
“She’s playing a part, remember?”
“We’ve seen this happen before, Gabriel. Seen informants fall for people they’re supposed to be helping put away.”
“She’s been in there a matter of days, Phil. It usually takes a long time for that kind of shit to happen.”
“Really?”
I look at him, and I don’t appreciate his suspicious expression. “You got something to say to me?”
He waits a couple of beats, but then he just sits back in his chair, he leaves it. Wise choice.
“She won’t do anything stupid, Phil. I know her now. I trust her.”
“She’s a criminal too, Gabe. Remember? Because sometimes I think you forget that.”
I throw him a warning look, which he wisely acknowledges. “And in a few days she won’t be our concern anymore.”
I sit back and swallow down a mouthful of strong black coffee, and when I hear Cole Rockwell’s voice I lean forward again, and I feel my stomach turn over a thousand times as I prepare myself to listen to that bastard violate a woman I want like the most dangerous of drugs. And I want to rip out his throat, stamp on his chest until he can’t breathe anymore, until he’s nothing but a mess of blood and broken bones in a heap in the gutter. But I can’t do that. All I can do is listen.
And it’s going to kill me…
Theo
“Can’t you stop him, Mack?”
“You want your brother free, right?”
“You know I do.”
“Then quit with the whining, suck up the fact Cole Rockwell is probably gonna screw the shit outta your girlfriend…”
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
Mack fixes me with a look that hits right at my very core. “You’re right. She ain’t. So whatever Cole does to her shouldn’t matter, should it?”
“Does it mean I have to condone it?”
Mack laughs and knocks back a mouthful of Jack Daniels straight from the bottle. “No one’s asking you to condone shit, Theo. I’m telling you to suck it up, go enjoy yourself, and forget about Skye. She can look after herself.”
“Can she?”
He throws me that look again and I take a step back, I think I might be starting to push him too far now.
“Listen, kiddo. I took this job on because I owe your brother, that’s all. That man, he did time for me. He’s a good guy, and he deserves a break, he don’t deserve to spend any more of his life behind bars for something else he didn’t do. So I’m helping you, and you should be nothing but grateful to me for that.”
“You know I’m grateful, Mack. But what Cole’s doing…”
“All he’s doing is being the fucked
up douche that he is. And we can’t do nothing about that, brother. If he don’t get what he wants, he does what he threatened to do – he pulls his contacts, which means you and Dom are going nowhere. You wanna take your chances on the run in this country? You ain’t gonna last more than a few days, and you know that.”
“What if he pulls them anyway? If he’s that kind of man, couldn’t he just do what the fuck he likes, regardless? How the hell can we trust him…?”
He grabs me by my cut and he drags me outside, throwing me back against the wall.
“You need to calm the fuck down, OK? Cole might well be a slimy prick but the one thing he ain’t is stupid. He wants Skye, he gets Skye. And if he fucks us over, then he gets shit he can’t even begin to imagine. Don’t think he don’t know that. So you need to calm the fuck down, get over whatever the hell it is you got going on with that girl and focus everything you’ve fucking got on getting your brother outta that van on Thursday night. You let a woman take that focus away, kiddo, and I’m telling you, you are fucked. Take it from one who knows.”
He lets go of my cut with one more push, and he strides back into the clubhouse.
I sink to my haunches, drop my head, and try to forget any of this shit is happening.
Skye
We’re in one of the rooms at the back of the clubhouse; the ones club members use if they need to crash here. And I watch as Cole paces the floor, swigging beer and smoking a joint and I cross my legs up underneath myself. He hasn’t said anything since he closed the door behind us. He’s turned on some music – heavy, over-loud thrash metal – but he’s staying silent as he paces the floor, smoking and drinking. And that’s because he knows he’s being listened to. He knows Gabriel can hear everything he’s going to say to me; everything he’s going to do to me. And then he turns to face me, stubs the joint out on the wall behind him and his face breaks into that sickening leer.
“Stand up,” he orders, and I do as I’m told, now isn’t the time to bring the smart mouth into play. “Take it all off, baby girl.”
I slowly slip the straps of my dress down over my shoulders, dropping my gaze as I strip, I don’t want to look at him. Looking at him makes me sick.
My dress falls to the floor and I hear his sharp intake of breath as my breasts are exposed, and I’m left wearing only knee-high boots, a tiny pair of panties; my choker. I’ve never felt so vulnerable. And I wish Gabriel was here, I want him to save me from this shit, but he can’t. Not yet. Is it possible he can ever save me now? The only comfort I can take is that he’s at least listening to what’s going on, and if anything really bad was to happen… surely he’d come for me? Wouldn’t he? Surely he wouldn’t let anything happen to me?
“Hey! You gonna start paying me some attention here, darlin’? ‘Cause I ain’t into chicks who look like they ain’t enjoying my company.” He comes over to me, and he slides his fingers into the sides of my panties, nudging them down just a touch, but the feel of his fingers against my skin causes nausea to rise up in my throat, and I have to swallow it down before it lurches out of me. “I mean, that’s just plain rude, don’t you think?”
I hold his gaze because he is not going to break me. I’m not going to let him do that.
“Now lose the panties.”
I slide them down and step out of them, and I watch with that familiar sick feeling in my stomach as his eyes roam over every inch of my naked body.
“Sit down on the bed.”
Again, I do as I’m told, and he just stands there, he doesn’t come any nearer. I’m just not sure that makes me feel any safer.
“Open those pretty legs, darlin’. I want to see what you got. And then I’m gonna watch while you make yourself come.”
He wants me to play out fantasies? I’m OK with that, I can do that shit. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve jerked off in front of a guy. The circumstances are just a little different, that’s all.
So I open my legs wide, pull them up onto the bed and I touch myself, keeping my eyes on him all the time but his gaze is fixed firmly on my hand as my fingers gently stroke my clit, but I want to look at him as I do this. I want to look at him, now. If I can do that then maybe I can control this, so I need to try.
He leans back against the sideboard, gripping the edge of it as I slide my fingers inside myself, breaking my gaze only for a second or two to throw my head back and moan quietly, because despite the depraved situation I’m in here, it feels good. And if I close my eyes I can imagine, for just the briefest of seconds, that it’s Gabriel watching me. But it isn’t. And when I open my eyes and my head falls forward I’m reminded of that, as Cole Rockwell leers at my exposed pussy.
I draw my fingers in and out of myself, rubbing my clit with a little more force until I feel a small tingle start to take hold, and I have to close my eyes again, I have to pretend he isn’t here now or this isn’t going to happen, and I suspect a man like Cole Rockwell can probably tell if a girl’s faking it. So I need it all to be as real as it can be, and I need to imagine Gabriel for that. I need to have him in my head, remember what his fingers felt like inside me, and the second I do that I’m coming. And I hear Cole groan as my body bucks and jerks, and I cry out loud, just stopping myself from crying out Gabriel’s name. And as soon as it’s over I feel dirty and used and I clamp my legs shut and pull my knees to my chest.
“You sure as hell commit, darlin’, I’ll give you that.”
I keep my eyes on him, but he still doesn’t move from the sideboard. And as I drop my gaze I see his obvious hard-on straining against the denim of his jeans and I hope to Christ he doesn’t want me to deal with that. But then again, blowing him off would be preferable to him fucking me. I don’t want his cock inside me, the thought makes me feel sick to my stomach. But if I have to go there…
“That new boy of ours…”
I narrow my eyes slightly as I look at him. “Theo?”
“Theo…” he repeats, dropping a hand and touching his erection, and my stomach churns. “You and him – I’m taking it he’s spent some time inside that pretty pussy of yours?”
I don’t answer that. I don’t want to get drawn into a conversation, I just want him to do whatever the hell he’s got me here to do, then I want him to leave me the hell alone. But I know that isn’t going to happen. I have no control over anything anymore. I’m fucked.
“And you know something, baby girl? I’d quite like to see that happen for myself.”
“You’re sick.”
“Oh, I get off on lottsa sick shit, darlin’, this is just the tip of the iceberg.” He goes over to the door and opens it, says something to one of his henchmen he’s got waiting outside, and then closes it again, taking up his place back at the sideboard. “Watching you and our new boy fucking like wild rabbits? Yeah. I kinda wanna see that.”
“You don’t want to fuck me yourself?”
“You ain’t here to ask questions, darlin’, remember? You’re here to do whatever the hell it is I want you to do, and if that involves you and that boy getting it on while I watch then that’s what you’re gonna do.”
I just shake my head, and then I look over toward the door as it opens and Theo walks in. He looks confused, and I don’t blame him, this whole thing is beyond messed up.
He glances over at me, and the look on his face is heartbreaking, but there’s nothing either of us can do. And then I think of Gabriel, listening in to this, and I feel a pain so raw hit me right in the solar plexus it’s all I can do to catch my breath.
“You wondering why you’re here, son?”
Theo looks at Cole, and his expression remains confused. But he says nothing. He just waits for Cole to explain, and I feel my stomach dip so low I have to take another deep breath.
“Well, y’see, I’m in the mood for something a little different tonight. I’m in the mood to – I don’t know… I kinda wanna be the spectator.”
Theo eyes narrow, and then he turns his head to look at me but he knows what Cole means.
And I give him the slightest of nods to let him know I’m already aware of what this sick bastard wants us to do.
“You really are one fucked up son-of-a-bitch, aren’t you?”
Cole laughs, and again it’s a sound that makes bile rise and my skin crawl. “Like I told your girlfriend over there, I get off on that kinda shit. Now, you gonna give me what I want? ‘Cause I ain’t a patient man.”
Theo turns to me, and he holds out a hand and I take it as he pulls me up and into his arms, and I cling onto him.
“We can do this,” I whisper, gently stroking the back of his neck with my fingertips. “We just need to pretend he isn’t here, that it’s just us.”
He nods, and there’s a part of me that’s grateful that sick, twisted bag of shit got Theo in here. At least I’m not alone now.
“It’s gonna be OK,” Theo whispers in my ear and again I think of Gabriel listening in to all of this, and that pain swamps me again. But this is where we are now. This is the crap we’ve created.
I close my eyes as Theo kisses me, as his hands roam over my naked skin and again I pretend it’s Gabriel. And then I remember how I need to distance myself from a man I can never have, and I briefly open my eyes to look at Theo. I’m here with Theo. Gabriel was a mistake. This is my reality.
“Get this thing moving, kids, come on. Like I told you, I ain’t a patient man. I need to see some shit going down here.”
Theo pushes me onto the bed and I throw my arms above my head and draw my legs up, spreading them wide.
“You stay dressed,’ Cole barks at Theo. “I want her naked, not you.”
Theo briefly glances over at him, and then he turns his attention back to me as he slides a hand between my legs and I moan quietly, closing my eyes as he palms me gently, the heel of his hand moving in a slow, circular motion, and it feels nice. I just have to try and forget that Cole Rockwell is watching; that Gabriel and a number of FBI agents are listening.
Bound (Soldiers of Darkness MC Book 3) Page 12