His face comes to within a few inches of mine. He grabs my chin with his right hand and squeezes hard. I try to pull back, but his grip is unrelenting. His tongue quivers in the air like a snake smelling its prey. He releases me and says, “I’m just the messenger.”
With that, he turns, transforming back into the man in the baseball cap, and walks back to the truck.
Unsure of what this means for the Fischers, I start to follow him. His dog comes around the corner of the truck and curls his lips at me with a low growl. I abruptly stop in my tracks. I hear the creature laugh as he and the dog climb back into the truck.
His words echo in my mind, and I’m at a loss for what to do. I’m deeply afraid for the Fischers, although I know I can’t go back to the house. That would only make things worse. I have to hope that Lucifer believes that Saturday will be the end of our relationship. I think that if I can make it through Saturday, everything will be fine. I try to convince myself of that.
Inexplicably, I get back into my car and decide to look at the e-mail from Leslie. My head sinks as I read it. I’ve missed the meeting with Josephine.
This night is a disaster, and it’s all my fault.
CHAPTER 20
Everything Changes
I stay at home on Friday and spend much of my time trying to occupy myself with random things. I don’t want to think about anything. I pack, make arrangements for my car, secure a storage locker, jog, send an e-mail to my First Orchard contact to get my itinerary. I try not to think about Thursday, or more importantly what didn’t happen on Thursday. I can’t face Leslie. I’m not sure if I’m more upset with myself for disappointing Leslie or for once again not being there for Josephine. I’ll call Dr. Gould and see how I can make amends. I quickly try to put it behind me and focus on what I can do now. I can take care of Ashley. I can take care of the Fischers. I can take care of myself. Those thoughts get me through the day.
I awake early Saturday. Too early. The clock reads five thirteen. I roll over and try to get back to sleep. After tossing and turning for a while, I get up. It’s five thirty. I step onto my balcony. The air is slightly chilly against my chest and arms. I decide to go for one last run around the lake. There won’t be many people out at this hour. I’ll be alone with my thoughts and the lake. As I grab my keys off the counter, I see the wrinkled piece of paper that Mike handed to me. Revelation 12:7–12. I sit down at my computer and Google the verse.
And there was war in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him. Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. Therefore rejoice, you heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you! He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short.”
I start my run with that verse in mind. I keep focusing on the word Lamb. I have heard it before, but I can’t place it. Then it hits me. In Lucifer’s lair, he used it. He said that I was protected by the Lamb. In his speech, he mentioned a book of life that belonged to the Lamb. I feel an energy surge through me. My pace quickens. It feels like a picture is coming together, like I’m a detective putting together the clues from a crime scene. The words I heard when I first found myself in the lair, the words that Lucifer said I no longer believed, which is why he chose me, those words must have come from the Bible. That’s why the demons hissed and screamed. But did that mean I heard the voice of God in that moment? I suddenly stop dead in my tracks. It’s all coming together, but the thought of the consequences is overwhelming.
In that moment, I hear a faint whisper, as if the wind is speaking to me: I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star. I am the way and the truth and the life. I Am Who I Am. I Will Be Who I Will Be. I am the Lord.
Those words are followed by a chorus: Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!
I spin around, looking to see if anyone is near me. I don’t see anyone, but I hear the whisper again. I’m sure that God is speaking to me. I yell back, “What do you want of me? Why me? Why not someone like Mike?” The whisper is gone, though.
I run back to the apartment as fast as I can. I’m exhausted when I walk in the lobby. I can hardly catch my breath as I enter my apartment. I pick up my cell phone and call him.
“Mike, can you and Stacie come over a little earlier than we planned?” I ask hastily.
“Thomas? What time is it? Is something wrong?” Mike asks.
“It’s six thirty-ish. I’m really sorry. Look, it’s very important. How soon do you think the two of you can make it over?” I ask.
“I don’t know. One minute ago I was asleep. Do you want to talk about it now? Over the phone?” he asks.
“No. It has to be in person, and I would like both of you to be here,” I say.
“Okay. I’ll call Stacie. Give us ninety minutes. If we’re going to be late, I’ll text you.”
Ninety minutes seems like an eternity. I jump in the shower and try to put together more of the puzzle. The Alpha and the Omega. The First and the Last. The Beginning and the End. Then I think about the chorus. Were those angels? Is Jesus the Lamb? If so, is the Bible true? Is Satan’s version the truth? My thoughts turn to what Mike said about my father. I should ask Satan to produce my father. That would be the test. It all makes sense. If the Jesus of the Bible is real and what was written is true, Satan would have no grip on my father. He would be protected by the Lamb. His name would be written in the book of life.
My mind then moves from the spiritual to the practical. Yes, all of it may be true, but it also seems true that Satan can give me all I desire and protect me even if I’m not in the book of life. If I defy Lucifer, what would become of me? Would God accept me after all I’ve done against him and after I’ve been actively working on Lucifer’s behalf? If those were God’s words when I first faced Lucifer in his lair, then why hasn’t he been there at other times? Why does he come to me in the quiet and seclusion of a run, in a whisper, no less? If I defy Lucifer, would he stand with me?
I wish Mike and Stacie were here. I have so many questions, but my time is quickly running out.
While I wait for Stacie and Mike, I use various Bible websites and discover that Ezekiel 28:12–19 is an allegory for Satan:
Son of man, take up a lament concerning the king of Tyre and say to him: “This is what the Sovereign LORD says: ‘You were the model of perfection, full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone adorned you: ruby, topaz and emerald, chrysolite, onyx and jasper, sapphire, turquoise and beryl. Your settings and mountings were made of gold; on the day you were created they were prepared. You were anointed as a guardian cherub, for so I ordained you. You were on the holy mount of God; you walked among the fiery stones. You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created till wickedness was found in you. Through your widespread trade you were filled with violence, and you sinned. So I drove you in disgrace from the mount of God, and I expelled you, O guardian cherub, from among the fiery stones. Your heart became proud on account of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendor. So I threw you to the earth; I made a spectacle of you before kings. By your many sins and dishonest trade you have desecrated your sanctuaries. So I made a fire come out from you, and it consumed you, and I reduced you to a
shes on the ground in the sight of all who were watching. All the nations who knew you are appalled at you; you have come to a horrible end and will be no more.’”
When I search for the keyword lamb, I find several verses in Revelation and the gospel of John: “All inhabitants of the earth will worship the beast—all whose names have not been written in the book of life belonging to the Lamb that was slain from the creation of the world.” “In a loud voice they sang: ‘Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!’” And, “When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, ‘Look, the Lamb of God!’”
I send the links to my phone and print them and put the list in my pocket. I’m not sure how I will use them, but I feel they are important.
Finally, a knock comes at the door. I fling open the door and am surprised, not by who I see, but what I see. As expected, there stand Mike and Stacie. The surprise is Stacie. She is wearing a baseball cap with her hair pulled back, simple gold earrings, and a peach sweater. She looks stunning. For a moment, I stand and stare. In that moment, I know I love her, and I know what I need to do.
“Can we come in?” Mike asks.
“Please. Please!” I say with eagerness. “Please have a seat. I need to tell you everything.”
They sit on the couch with a hint of suspicion, curiosity, and intrigue in their eyes. Then I look Stacie in the eye and blurt out the one thing I never thought I would say, or at least say and actually mean it.
“Stacie, I am completely captivated by you. I don’t know what to do or say around you, and that’s something that has never happened to me.”
I can see she’s feeling awkward at my confession. She slowly slides into the corner of the couch, but her eyes never leave mine. So I continue.
“I now know what it means to be in love with someone. I wanted to tell you that before . . .” My voice trails away with that thought. I can’t believe I’m saying this. It’s as if I’m watching myself say it.
“Before?” Mike asks.
“Before I do the right thing,” I say. “See, I didn’t call you both over here just to tell you how I feel about Stacie. That’s certainly uncomfortable with you around. But I have to tell you everything, especially after this morning. I’m not sure if you’ll believe me, but it’s the truth and you need to hear it.”
I tell them everything. It all comes out. Everything that has happened over the last couple of months. I tell them about waking up in Satan’s lair and being surrounded by demons. I tell them of the worship service the demons were performing for Satan, the booming voice that thundered around the walls, and Satan’s poisonous words to me. I tell them of the conversation I had with Satan, about my disgusting appearance, and how Satan told me I wasn’t good enough for God. Mike tries to interrupt me with a reference to the price that Jesus paid and grace, but I stop him so I can finish everything without forgetting any details. I tell them Satan’s comments that the Lamb is still protecting me and how it all came together when I heard the whispers this morning. I explain that the puzzle is coming together, and the missing piece is the question about my dad. Mike is right. That will be the test. I tell them how I continue to get pulled back to visit with Satan, and how I can see demons in the eyes of people at the university and on the street and in restaurants.
I can tell Mike wants to say something, but I hold up my hand for him to wait. I then move away from the spiritual aspect to my real-world application. By this time, I’m pacing the floor. I spell out Satan’s proposition to me: tell his story and advance the work of the Principal. I tell them about my meetings with Kinsley McKee, and I give them details of the trip to Dallas. I don’t tell them about Andrew and Megan, but I have to explain why I’m helping Ashley. So I tell them that she’s caught up in the Principal, and I’m helping her to get away, which isn’t a complete lie.
When I finish, neither one says anything. I’m a bit surprised since Mike wanted to say something a couple of times during my discourse. I don’t know if they are stunned, speechless, or waiting for me to continue.
Finally, Mike says, “Thomas, I want you to accept Christ as your personal Savior right now. Put all of your trust in Jesus. He can free you from all of this.”
“Not yet,” I respond. “Like I said, I have a plan. If I do what you are asking, I will lose my position with Lucifer and with the Principal. I have to expose this to the world. I’m . . . I’m like an undercover agent.”
“You’re an idiot is what you are,” Stacie says. “Who do you think you are that you can fight these forces on your own?”
“I can do this,” I say. “Look, they’re asking nothing of me that I wouldn’t have done prior to all of this insight. I was put in this position for a purpose: to lead this fight.”
“Listen to yourself!” Stacie says, her voice cracking. “Lead the fight! God doesn’t need you to lead this fight. God simply wants you, Thomas. If you want to fight for God, then pray. Show your faith. Don’t do this.”
“Please, Stacie. Have some confidence in me. I can keep all of us safe. I know what I’m doing. I can handle this. I just need to go a little deeper and then I’m out. I promise.”
Then Stacie says something that catches me completely off guard. Standing up, she looks into my eyes and says, “If you love me like you say you do, then stop this madness. You can’t tell me all of this and then . . . go down the path you’re following.” Tears swell in her eyes and some drop to the carpet.
“I do love you, Stacie. This is why I have to do what I’m doing. Look, you’ve always been right about me. I’m not any good for you. You have a better life waiting for you,” I say with a hidden confidence. I know what I’m doing is right. I also know I’m speaking the truth. Regardless of what I do, it will destroy Stacie, and that’s simply something I can’t handle.
“What now?” Mike says.
“For us, I think this is good-bye for a while. I’ll find a way to stay in contact. I do want, no, need your prayers. Don’t give up on me.”
“Please reconsider,” he says. “Give yourself to Jesus. Let him handle this fight.”
I smile and shake hands with him. I turn to hug Stacie. She obliges, but with a last protest, she whispers, “Don’t do this. Please.”
I kiss her on the cheek and tell her good-bye.
Mike puts his hand on my shoulder and prays for me. He prays that I will accept Christ. He prays for my protection and guidance. He gives thanks to Jesus for being in control.
Silence fills the elevator riding down to the lobby, save for a few sniffles from Stacie. As the elevator doors open, I see a woman at the courtesy desk. She looks familiar, but I’m not interested in her at this moment. I want to say good-bye to my friend and the woman I love. But my attention is drawn back to the courtesy desk when I hear the host say, “Good timing, Dr. Fields. This woman says she is here to see you.”
I’m horrified when I recognize Josephine. She’s looking right at me. I’m more horrified to see that her eyes are not her own. She is possessed. I swear they are the eyes of the creature, the messenger. The Fischers are in danger. I know it. I start to walk toward her quickly, hoping to keep the Fischers out of harm’s way.
“Josephine, I am so glad you are here,” I say, hoping to control the situation. If I can just talk with the creature, I know I can handle this. I can keep everyone safe.
The next few moments move in slow motion. Josephine’s hand rises from her handbag, pulling out a shiny object. A gun. She raises it toward me, but I don’t move. How has it come to this? I have no control.
I hear the ring of a shot. I feel someone push me hard from the left, causing me to crash to the ground to my right, as I hear another shot ring out. My right knee and shoulder hurt from slamming into the floor. I tell myself it must be a good thing. If I’d been shot, something else would be hurting. Lying there on the ground, I see a mouse scurry behind a wall. It’s an odd sight to see at the moment. Then I hear a third shot, and I hear s
omeone else hit the floor.
Suddenly, I notice that the left side of my abdomen burns. I’m feeling tired now. I see Josephine lying on the ground in front of me. Her eyes, though open, are lifeless. I can see that she has killed herself with the final shot.
My side no longer hurts. Nothing hurts. I think I’m fortunate, but then I see blood soaking my shirt. I start to close my eyes. I hear Stacie scream. I’ve never seen Stacie out of control, but now I see her kneeling by me, her palms open in front of her face, and she is screaming.
I try to tell her that I’m okay, but nothing comes out. I can tell she isn’t only concerned about me. I strain to look over my left shoulder. I’m so tired. I see her kneeling next to Mike, desperately trying to stop the blood flow pouring from his chest. That’s the last thing I see before I lose consciousness.
CHAPTER 21
Awakening
I hear a familiar voice calling my name. I see a silhouette of a man standing in front of a bright light, beckoning me toward him. “It’s wonderful, Thomas! It’s glorious!”
I approach him slowly, though my feet feel as if they aren’t moving. It’s as if my mind is telling my body to move, so I do. I recognize Mike, but he is different. He’s younger, and his voice isn’t quite the same, but I know without a doubt it’s him. He’s excited. He has a huge smile and radiates with happiness. I not only see his happiness, I feel it.
“I have been in his presence,” Mike says. “It’s more wonderful than I ever imagined. I saw his hands and feet, and I know what it cost to purchase me. In that moment I was sad and completely aware of my sin, but he touched me and took away all my sadness, replacing it with joy. I must go back to him, but he sent me here to tell you something. Submit yourself to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
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