by Zoey Draven
Before he led her inside however, he looked down at her, cupping her cheeks in his palms. Hesitantly, she placed her hand on his chest, feeling his heart beating at an accelerated rate, which was abnormal.
“Promise me,” he said softly, “that you will not step within arm’s reach of him.”
Her brow furrowed, confusion pulling her lips down in a frown. “What?”
“He…he is not himself. He has not been for a long time,” Kirov said, his voice so deep, so gruff that it struck her as wrong. “Promise me.”
“Okay,” she whispered, realizing that there was much, much more going on here. But a strange thing happened. Instead of nerves, she felt…calm. She felt strong. Because Kirov needed her to be, for him. “I promise.”
He looked at her, dread so evident on his features that she could smooth over the worried lines with her fingertips.
“I am sorry, luxiva,” he said softly. “For everything. I want to make this right and I know we still have much to discuss afterwards.”
He was…trying.
That was all that mattered.
Her chest squeezed again. She couldn’t think of anything to say, so she pulled him down and gave him a soft kiss. It wasn’t anything more than a gentle touch but Kirov seemed to need it. Hell, she needed it.
When they pulled away, Kirov inclined his head, his warm hands dropping away from her face. Then, with a steadying breath, he reached past her, pushing open the front door once it unlocked at his touch.
Immediately, angry yelling reached her ears. The houses were sound-proof for a reason it seemed, but Lainey didn’t let her shock show. There was a younger Luxirian male, a guard, she realized, near the entrance. The male looked at Lainey with a strange expression, but turned his attention to Kirov and said something in Luxirian. Kirov inclined his head and then led her further into the house, which Lainey realized was almost identical to their own, minus a second story.
Kirov brought her into the living room, having her stop near the fire pit. And there, she saw him.
An older Luxirian male, with Kirov’s eyes. He was cowering in a corner towards the back of the room, two other Luxirian males trying to advance on him. The older male’s whitening hair was tangled wildly around his horns, his shirt ripped, though the loose pants he wore looked fresh and clean.
He was yelling loudly, in Luxirian, or at least what she assumed was Luxirian, though it sounded strange, different. The other two males were responding, trying to calm him, and Lainey’s throat closed up tight at the scene before her.
Kirov advanced towards the group quickly and Lainey knew better than to follow him. One of the males, an older male as well, with greying hair, turned to look at him, relief evident on his features. His eyes widened, however, when he saw her and he bit out something in Luxirian to Kirov, his tone urgent.
Kirov replied, shaking his head.
Suddenly, his father’s eyes were on her. They were almost identical to Kirov’s, to those beautiful blue eyes she loved. She found comfort in that and she held his gaze steadily, wondering what he thought of her, standing in his house.
Kirov stood between them and he spoke in low tones to his father. Lainey heard her name, heard luxiva, as he told him about her. But his father’s features, his eyes, never changed. They were simply blank.
Until they weren’t.
Something flashed in them quickly and he let out a sudden loud roar, making her flinch, as it bounced around the house. Then he charged towards her, his meaty fist raised high.
Her stomach sunk though she wasn’t afraid. She knew that Kirov would never let anyone hurt her, would allow no one to come near her with violent intent.
And he didn’t. Her male snagged his father around the waist and though they were roughly the same height, Kirov subdued him singlehandedly. His father struggled in his arms, managing to jab an elbow right into Kirov’s temple in the process—making her gasp in concern—and Lainey felt tears burn her throat, though she wouldn’t allow them to rise.
This was what Kirov hadn’t wanted her to see, why he hadn’t brought her here. It all became suddenly so clear.
Eventually, his father grew tired from his struggles and sagged in Kirov’s arms. Her male held him up, supported him, as he led him to a cushioned chair to rest.
Lainey remained standing near the fire pit, listening as Kirov murmured something to his father, who grew unresponsive. All the fight seemed to drain from him, leaving him exhausted, his eyes beginning to close. She was already forgotten in his eyes. He never looked at her again.
Kirov comes here every day, she thought, her heart aching. Is this what he encountered every single day? Was this why he always came back to their house…changed? Different? She couldn’t imagine what he felt, what he’d gone through before.
When Kirov’s father shut his eyes, Kirov reached out a hand for something the other Luxirian male had in his hands. Lainey realized it was a shirt. A clean, unripped shirt. And when Kirov, with the aid of the two others, undressed his father and then put on the new shirt, Lainey realized what the whole outburst had been about. The other two males had only been trying to change his clothes.
Once they were finished, Kirov looked back at her, still crouched in front of his father, keeping him upright in the chair, though the older male slept. Their eyes connected and held.
I love him, Lainey thought, looking at the desperate, melancholy lines that had appeared on his face.
Those words sprung into her mind, out of nowhere and yet they were completely expected.
She loved him.
There was no denying it anymore.
And she knew, right at that moment, standing frozen in that house, surrounded by thick tension…she knew that she would never leave him.
The older male approached Kirov, placed a hand on his shoulder, murmured something in Luxirian. And with the help of the other guard, both males lifted his father and carried him from the living room, into what she knew was the back bedroom, in the same place that the kitchen was in their own home.
The older Luxirian male stayed in the living room with her and he turned his attention to her, his head cocked to the side.
Inclining his head, he pressed a hand to his chest and said, “Lixron.”
She realized he didn’t have the English language implant and assumed that Lixron was his name. Giving him a small wobbly smile, she mirrored his gesture and said, “Lainey.”
“Lani,” he repeated.
Her smile widened. “Yes. Tev.”
Kirov reappeared shortly, though the guard did not. He came to her side immediately, their eyes connecting. He was trying to read her, she realized, and something else occurred to her.
Perhaps Kirov thought his father would scare her away, would give her another reason to leave him. Was that why he’d put it off for so long? Because he thought she’d run?
Lixron spoke in Luxirian and Kirov inclined his head in acknowledgement, though he said nothing in response. Then he led her over to the front door, passed the other guard stationed at the entrance, and out onto the open terrace again.
They’d only been inside for less than ten minutes, but it felt like they’d been in there longer. Much longer.
When the door shut behind him, some of the tension left his body and her heart ached, now realizing just how much he carried on his shoulders when it concerned his father.
He walked them over to their house, but he hesitated in going inside. Lainey squeezed his hand and asked, “Can we go down to the lake?”
Kirov nodded and they got into the hovercraft parked just a few steps away. Once inside, Kirov guided them off the terrace and over the valley of Troxva, flying towards the peaceful, still water that reflected the slight sliver of the Luxirian moon.
He landed them in their normal spot, on a private little shore of the lake that led up into the forest of trees. It was quiet and the slight breeze felt cool on her overheated skin.
Kirov led her off the hovercraft, guiding h
er to sit down next to him at the shore. Lainey poked her big toe into the water as it lapped towards them slowly, wondering what to say as she digested everything that she’d seen, everything that she’d realized.
Kirov was looking out over the lake as she asked softly, “How long?”
He knew exactly what she was asking and he replied, “Since my mother died from the virus.”
Lainey nodded, pressing her lips together. Not only had he lost his mother to the Jetutians, but he’d lost his father as well. Or at least the male he used to be.
“It did not happen immediately, but the descent was gradual and steady,” he continued, rubbing the spot near his temple where his father had elbowed him. “It has become worse in the past rotation. Most of the time, he does not remember me, who I am. He speaks nonsense sometimes. Other times, he will speak in perfect Luxirian. He does not like other beings to touch him, or bathe him, or feed him. He tolerates it if I do it, but he fights me at first.”
“Kirov,” she whispered, reaching out to run her hand down his back in a soothing, slow motion. She wanted to comfort him in any way she could.
“My sire was a great mind of his generation,” Kirov admitted, looking over at her, his eyes pained. “He was brilliant.”
“Like you,” she said softly.
He shook his head and said, “There is very little of that mind left now. Memories, knowledge...it is all lost.” He hesitated and then admitted, “Sometimes, I wonder if I will share his fate. I wonder if that same madness will pass to me, if it will destroy my mind too. My memories. If it will destroy you.”
Lainey’s breath hitched, her hand pausing on his back. She rose up to her knees before positioning herself in his lap, wanting to be closer to him. She sat on his upper thighs, her legs straddling his hips.
“Tell me why you kept this from me, Kirov,” she said softly, reaching out to cup his jaw. “Tell me all your reasons because I am sure there are many.”
Kirov made a sound in the back of his throat. Not quite a growl, but softer.
“You saw what he is like, luxiva,” Kirov said, his brow furrowing. “For one, he is dangerous. Unpredictable. He grows violent when he is confused or in a delirious state. One strike from him would seriously injure you. And I never want you in any situation where there is a possibility for harm.”
“Tell me another,” she said.
He frowned. “I…I am…”
“Tell me,” she whispered.
“I am ashamed,” he finally admitted and she felt his jaw tense in her hand. “I did not want you to see him that way. I wanted you to meet him as the male he once was. The male I was proud to call my sire. The male who would be happy for me when I introduced him to my luxiva.”
Lainey’s vision grew blurry from tears.
“I know I should not be,” Kirov said, not stopping now. “I should not be ashamed of my own sire. But it is difficult to see him this way, though I should be used to it. I feel guilt whenever I am away from Troxva, but I feel relief every time I leave.”
Lainey brushed her hand through his hair, tears dripping down her cheeks.
“Tell me another,” she whispered.
Kirov’s gaze connected with hers and she’d never felt closer to another being in her entire life.
Finally, he admitted, “I feared you would leave if you knew the truth.”
Lainey swallowed hard at the confession.
“It was an illogical fear. I know that you would not leave solely for that,” he said softly and his words comforted her. “But he is my sire. He is a part of my life and would, by extension, be a part of yours. He can be difficult to handle.”
“You know I never back down from a challenge,” she whispered, giving him a small smile.
Kirov relaxed a little at her teasings and said, “Nix, female, you do not.”
She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek, letting her lips linger. “Thank you. Thank you for telling me but you haven’t scared me off.”
“Nix?” he asked.
“No,” she said, pulling back to look in the eyes. “I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this, Kirov. I cannot imagine what it has been like.”
“I should have told you,” he said. “Long ago. I am sorry.”
“I understand why it took time,” she murmured, “now that you’ve told me. I forgive you for that.”
Kirov leaned his forehead on hers, getting close, and rasped, “I do not deserve you, female. Sometimes, I think the Fates made a mistake. Sometimes, I think you were meant for a male much greater than I.”
Lainey’s breath hitched because she knew he meant it. She pressed a kiss to his lips, breathing him in. And she knew that they still had a lot to work through, a lot to talk about, but she knew it would all be okay.
She had faith.
She had Kirov.
“I don’t want someone perfect. Because heaven knows I’m not perfect,” she whispered. “But I’m beginning to think these Fates know what they’re doing…because I think that we’re perfect for each other.”
And that was all that mattered.
Later that night, Lainey lay awake in their bed. Kirov had fallen into a deep sleep after they’d released some tension together once they returned from the lake, but she couldn’t find sleep. She didn’t want to. Not yet anyways.
She had her cheek pressed into his naked chest, her arm wrapped possessively around his waist. She listened to the soft beat of his heart, so different than her own.
Lainey understood now why Kate, Beks, Cecelia and Taylor had all chosen to stay. It was because of this feeling. It was because she felt whole, for the first time in her life. It was because she was crazy about the male who laid next to her, because she couldn’t imagine him not in her life.
These alien males are potent, she thought, smiling against his chest. There’s something in the water here.
“Kirov,” she whispered, hating to wake him, but knowing she needed to tell him. She didn’t want to wait anymore.
When she reached up to brush his hair, he came awake, blinking at her. He purred immediately and she grinned, leaning up to kiss him. She’d woken him from sleep before, but for entirely different reasons.
“Are you needing, female?” he rasped.
She exhaled an amused snort and whispered, “Always with you.”
“Then come closer,” he murmured, reaching under the furs. “Let me satisfy you.”
Lainey chuckled but grabbed his hand to stop its descent, her smile slowly dying as nerves suddenly tumbled in her belly.
“What is it?” he asked, noticing her expression.
The corner of her lips quirked up and she brushed her thumb over his lips, before glancing up at his eyes.
“I love you,” she whispered. “I wanted you to know.”
Kirov stilled, his eyes flaring with warmth, with emotion.
She pressed her fingers to his lips when he was about to speak and said, “I want to stay. I want to stay on Luxiria with you. I want to perform the ravraxia. I’m ready.”
“Tev?” he rumbled, drawing in a deep, shuddering breath.
“Yes,” she whispered. “I’m sorry for waking you. But I couldn’t wait until morning to tell you.”
Kirov pounced on her then, rolling her underneath his naked body, the furs sliding away until their flesh was pressed together.
“Never be sorry for that,” he rasped. “Vrax, luxiva. I love you too.”
Lainey’s grin wobbled. She’d known that already, could feel it in every word he spoke to her, but it felt nice—more than nice, fucking amazing—to hear those words verbalized.
She’d never heard those words from anyone in her life, except for Nadine.
“My luxiva,” he whispered down to her before kissing her with intensity, with eagerness, with a passion that made her head swim.
“Yes,” she whispered. “Yours. And you’re mine, Kirov.”
Chapter Thirty
The Jaxvara wasn’t what Lainey had bee
n expecting. Only a brief distance from Troxva, the sacred place was towards the end of the massive lake, in the northeast. Situated within the forest—which Kirov told her was called the Jaxavir—about a quarter mile in from the lake shore was a small clearing. The trees surrounded it in a perfect circle, the forest quieting around it.
Even though there were no markings, Lainey felt that it was…different. Strange. Otherworldly.
But she trusted Kirov, who led her just to the threshold of the circle, even though goosebumps trailed down her bare arms.
“Are you ready, luxiva?” Kirov asked her quietly, as if he too didn’t want to break the hushed quiet of that place.
In the center of the circle was a domed tent. Kirov had dispatched a few Luxirians to make preparations for their arrival immediately. Only last night, Lainey had confessed her feelings for Kirov. Less than a full day had passed since and she was standing there, on the threshold of her new life, staring at that domed tent.
But she wasn’t hesitant. She wasn’t frightened. This was her decision. She’d never been more sure of anything in her life.
“Yes,” she said, taking his outstretched hand, giving it a squeeze. Her almost-transparent white dress rustled around her ankles with a light breeze. “I am.”
Kirov was bare-chested, with his hair neatly plated down his muscled back, with only tight pants encasing his body. Lainey’s eyes ran over him, her belly clenching with want, with need.
They would mate that night. They would bind their lives together that night.
And Lainey couldn’t wait to get started.
“Let’s get this show on the road.”
Kirov’s lips quirked up at her strange words, but then his expression sobered, that intense look coming across his features, crossing into his eyes. He pulled her to the very distinct line of the circle, her toes just touching it.
Then he began to speak in Luxirian. Soft words that grew in intensity, grew in meaning. Ancient words, she realized. Words that Kirov might not even know the meaning of, but knew by heart anyways. Words so ingrained in their culture, so ingrained in him.